Bio:

All Points Bulletin! Attention local police, FBI, CIA, and Interpol!!! For immediate release!!!

The international rogue and scoundrel, Chicago Jake, (AKA "Evil Spock") has kidnapped the beloved Pampered Princess (AKA Hazelita) and spirited her off to parts unknown, probably out of the country. Authorities believe they are headed toward the vicinity of Negril, Jamaica. Please be on the lookout for this duo. If found, recommend they be plied with alcoholic beverages to sedate them until authorities can arrive. Descriptions to follow:

Chicago Jake: Swarthy, goateed, usually cackling with an evil laugh. Known to frequent cigar and martini bars.

Pampered Princess: Cute, cuddly, and usually smiling. Known to frequent massage huts.