Chris & Melissa: May, 2008 Wet, Wild, and Wicked ®

Day 1-
Arrive at Hedo just bubbling over.. Direct Bus there. No stops, thank god due
to My honey telling the bus driver to just drive. The ride there I drift in
and out of sleep. I have a dream that we didn't make any stops on the bus, so
I was very happy to find my dream came true. First persons we see are Tim and
Pam! Hugs and kisses around. It's great to see smiling faces when you just get
there. Then Jason and Tracy stop in! Yeah!!!! More hugs and kisses. Tim had a
bag full of temporary phucker tattoo's made. They are awesome.. Hmm.. Much fun
will be had trying to get these on some people.
Check in was messy. Blah. No first floor rooms and oh yeah we got Prude side..
WTF???? Phuckin awesome.. Chris was thrilled, note the sarcasm.. lol. Oh well
we went to the room and christened it. hehe.. The room was nice and clean.
Nice tubs with mirrors directly over them. We're not there for the rooms but
they are very nice. Then got in our gear and went to the nude pool. Boa, heels
and all.. Just something to show up in. Off it went onto the chairs. Met more
great people.. Naked hugs and kisses and the drinks were flowing.. Pool
volleyball began, and let me tell you I just have to practice more..
Especially if I have any drinks in me. But it was fun. Finally burgers from
the infamous nud-e-bar. Yummy. John makes a great burger and fries. The nude
pool bartenders are awesome too. lol. Always a smile and a good one liner back
at ya, or a song. Big up's to them for working their asses off around all us
naked immature phuckers. lol. Much respect to all the workers actually.. Even
th e poor front desk girls. Yes we gave them a ration of shit but they are
doing their jobs..
Now I'm feeling really good, but it's like 6 and we have reservations at 8..
So I gotta nap.. hahahaha.. Well the alarm never went off, but Chris woke me
up soaking wet from his pool incident, lol. Poor guy.. Just kept saying "Baby
I just walked into the pool. " Which took some time to register. lol. His
shorts and shirt were soaked. lol. And his knee and pride were a tad bruised,.
Actually his knee was huge. It was 7:40 and reservations were for 8. A quick
shower and see thru dress and off I go. Soaked hair and all to Pastafarie. The
food was good and much needed.. I ate way too much and wound up with lead
belly.. Owie.. It hurt.. I was expecting it to begin to digest or something
but nooooooooo.. Just phuckin sat there. We got changed into our pj's and I
dried my hair and threw some make up on.. Off to the disco.. Started off kinda
quiet, but a few more people showed up as the time went by.. But still no
digestion taking place.. I can't fit a drink into my full belly.. BLAH! At a
round midnight I call it a night. Back to the room for much need sleep since
we had been up since 3am..

Day 2-
Up at 7am.. WTF???? So off we go.. I go to take pics and find Chris.. Chris
went off before me to put towels down.. Gotta love the early riser for that.
Prime pool chairs. I take pictures all around as the resort is quiet. No
nudies in my pics. lol. The grounds around the resort are very nice and clean.
Nice big prude pool. Why is the prude pool always so big?? lol. The quad was
also quite large and very nice. Off to breakfast after I meet up with Chris..
Breakfast starts at 8am so they were just putting stuff out when we got there.
Omelette's for him, pancakes, french toast and bacon for me.. hehe. Oh and
fruit and coffee.. Yummy. Breakfast kicks ass..
Back to the room to pack up cuz Chris paid for us to move to the Ocean View
Nude room 1st floor. Room 716 rocks.. We waited for the bell hop but he was
very busy so we just moved our crap no problem.. We christened the new room,
cuz that's what we do. I hoped in the tub to shave my legs and after I shaved
drew a bath for Chris and I.. Gotta love taking a bath with your honey.. And
being able to look up at the mirrors above.. Cha cha.. hehe.
Off to the nude pool, which is nice to walk right to while naked.. lol. No
need for the formality of clothes.. lol. More of the same, socializing,
laughing, chatting, dancing, and drinking.. Beautiful day. The sun was shining
hot hot hot.. Got to see the wedding party from the renewal of vows. San
Franronto and his beautiful bride! I love weddings. So pretty and everyone is
always happy. Pool Olympics were pretty funny to watch. Pink Taco's vs. The
Big Bamboo's. I think Big bamboo's took it but the Pink Taco's were close. Saw
A+B by the lobby area with E+M.. A+B felt me up.. :D I forgot to mention it to
my honey when I got back to the pool but they told him for me.. oops.. lol We
are all excited cuz more Phuckers arrive today! Yeah! Around 1ish Mirella
arrives, hmm.. But no Mirella to be found.. Chris goes on the hunt and quickly
brings her back to the nude pool. LOL. If not she would have drank at the
quad.. ::) Yeah!
A few hours later S&H arrive, more hugs and kisses all around.
Laughing, drinks, and volleyball.. How can this not be heaven?? Burgers up.. I
ran over to the Reggae Cafe to grab jerk Chicken and fries.. The waiter
visually assaulted me while I was waiting.. I felt like I had been ridden hard
in his eyes.. lol. Damn I need a shower.. hahaha Back to the nude pool to feed
my honey. Yummy. Nude volleyball begins and seems to last forever! More laughs
had all day. Lots of drinking, chatting, and sunshine! Damn I love this place.
Chris broke out the water cannon, lol. Tried to disturb a session going on by
the grotto but they didn't seem to notice the sudden shower.. lol. Around 6pm
we call nap time.. We have 9:30 reservations at Munisan.. And it's fetish
night. meow! Love nap time. Awake at 8pm and get showered and ready. Sheer
outfit on and off we go. We met everyone at the pool bar and quickly went in.
Per usual I am late.. Wouldn't be me if I was on time I guess. lol. Love
Munisan. We had a great chef too. She was lots of fun. Made our table loud and
obnoxious like we like it! Heather won the chef for the girls, and Shaun won
for the guys! Well done Phuckers! Finish dinner and off to change for the
disco. Fetish time! Meow! Back to the pool bar and up to the disco. Dance,
sweat, water slide and hot tub. All in that ord er.. J+T brought out the
waterproof lube and we all slicked our asses up. Best idea ever. Though I
swear some people got air! That's fast! That was so fun! I think I did about 4
runs then off to the hot tub! The hot tub was perfect temp tonight, in many
ways.. cha cha.. Saw a great show while there as well.. Phuckers seem to be
the shows typically, so we were again the main stage.. Back to the room after
some fun. Finally pass out somewhere around 4ish.

Day 3-
Yes up at 6:45 then went back to sleep until 9. Thank god! Still not enough
sleep. Call Mirella and tell her to get ready for breakfast. We meet her at
the buffet and all just go thru the motions. Same breakfast pretty much all
around. Off to shower, dilly dally then nude pool. Yes M told us we dilly
dally. lol. Oh well, we do. Today was supposed to be Dunns River Falls but the
tour desk told us to do it Friday. That's fine. Hopefully we will get some of
the people coming today on it. Excellent. So today will be duck jumping day! J
has taken the extremely large ducky to the water sports guys to blow up with a
pump.. The nude pools seems quiet. Oh duh, no music, no blenders, no nothing!
Poop the power is down.. Saving the back up for the pool, hot tub etc.. Chris
runs to the room for the ipod and speakers. Musics on and I'm just a dancing
away. Per usual. The ducky shows up just when things start feeling a lull.
Perfect timing. So J is holding the duck and I am getting the "Get on t here"
talk. So off I go.. Phuck it seems so far away, and dangerous.. I am perched
on the hot tub edge. Ducky, being quite large, is about 5 feet away from me so
I don't sleep off and crack my head on the hot tub ledge. Breath thru it..
Woo.. I leap into the air and hope for the best. Phuck I landed on it! Phuck I
am staying on!!! Yeah! I did it.. hehe. Beginners luck but phuck I did it..
Score cards were given to random judges and I see 10's and 11's.. lol. Eak!!!
They like me.. They really like me! The usual suspects line up for their
turns.. I was laughing so hard at times.. It was so fun! A certain crazy
phucker kept doing back flips on it.. I swear a few more times and he would
have had it.. Crazy Phucker! At one point I heard "POP!" and knew the duckies
time was limited.. Poor duckie! But it died with dignity and was the life of
the party.. Just then the power came back up.. S came out with his fishy blow
up floatie around his waist! How cute did he look!!!!?? Love it! Then t he
snack cakes came out as the afternoon session started.. lol. Devil Dog, Snow
Balls, Oatmeals Pies, America cakes, and Swiss rolls abound! Gave some to the
hard working bartenders when the feast was over.. More like a feeding frenzy..
lol. More water cannon antics, I think the groom from the newlyweds definitely
won the water fight with me, lol. They were funny. After we had lunch, and
snacks S had a hard time getting the fishy off of him.. Can't remember how he
finally did it, but it wound up in the pile of fallen blow up toys. A few
minor PDA's around the pool then off to nap time.
I was frequenting the tour desk to find out about our reservation for Dunns
River. We had done our part.. I got as many as I promised, and actually more
by the next day. Yeah! Also had to make dinner reservations for the next
night. T+P said O'Shane had been looking for me and he found me at the nude
pool. Great guy. very friendly and personable. I was so happy to have finally
met him.. I also got to meet R+D and their better halves during my jaunts as
well.. Love all the phriendly Phuckers we get to meet!

Reservation are @ Pastafarie @ 9pm tonight. Good.. I can get some sleep. lol.
Tonight is toga night. Yeah! So we don our toga's for dinner, cuz that usually
is the night the restaurants make the exception.. Well Chris and S had to go
back to the rooms and put a shirt on. ::). But my hardly covered ass was fine.
lol. Dinner was yummy. Good conversation and food. After it was out to the bar
and drinks before the disco. I see more new Phucker Faces! B+J! lol BJ..
hehe.. Sorry.. These hotties were just getting in.. Poor things. But they were
troopers. Went to toga night and everything. She even went down the water
slide.. It's a must do. Phuck these shoes hurt. Grrr.. A few dances and just
counting down to water slide time!!!! Finally we get the ok, and off we go..
Busy water slide night.. One guy almost took out someone cuz he didn't wait
for the ok to go.. So I yelled at him.. Don't think he understood me but I
still felt better. He was saying I was scared to go down so I turned to h im
and said "No I wait like you should for the guy to tell me to go. That's why
you almost smashed into someone, cuz you don't pay attention!" Phuckin dope.
Oh well.. A few runs in and off to the hot tub.. Phuck it's hot in the hot tub
tonight.!!!! Woo cool off in the pool.. Oh it's body shot time! Sweet! Well a
few shots and I can honestly say I am a body shot hog.. lol.. I dunno.. I seem
to stay until the job is done.. ;) Phuckin hot by the way.. Anywho. Things
began to heat up and R+D came by with their beautiful other halves.. We
started their body shot party as well.. H who is the most thoughtful ever
brought me a little toy, and some waterproof lube.. Who doesn't love that!!! I
played with that for a while and decided it was time for the real thing, then
off to night night land.. Back to the room so I could get my cookie ;) hehe.
After I got mine we were laying in bed.. Lights off and I decided to wake up
for one more round.. Baby I want more, and proceeded to grab the toy an d lube
and we watched our antics above in the mirror.. Love that thing! Some
opportunities were lost tonight :( But it was still a great night.

Day 4-
Wake up at the usual 6:45 then back to sleep until 9.. WTF??? Can't I just
sleep like normal??? call M and meet at the buffet.. Yes got the same.. lol.
We all did for that matter. lol. Today is the trip to Dunns River Falls, so it
should be fun.. I hate being away from Hedo but ya just have to get off resort
some times.. The typical morning stuff all around, sleepy faces, people slowly
getting to the nude pool to chill for the day. Oddly enough it was the first
day we didn't grab chairs early.. But we did see some new Phucker faces pool
side. I say my hello's hugs and kisses to D+M. Love them already! Then we get
to meet C+L, did I mention how much I love meeting new Phuckers! Too fun! They
have all signed up for the cruise too! Random chit chat and get to know me
time.. Then off to the lobby at 1:30.. Geesh the bus is full! wow.. Off to
Ochie. The road looks great, not much has changed in Ocho Rios itself, except
they have a cool ski lift ride thru the canopy around the city. We m ake it to
the catamaran and I escort my gentleman friend W to the boat.. No drinking
before the falls. That's fine. And we have to keep our clothes on as well.
lol. I guess. We get to the falls no problem. They look just as beautiful as
before. Many pictures taken. We shoot straight up to the top threw all the
madness. I like our guide. Rafael, and Mr something. lol. The water is chilly
when you first step in but it becomes nice as you get used to it. The ever
constant line up the side is amusing. Soo many people have come thru there.
Finally we make it to the top and now the trek down land back to the boat.. No
need to prolong being clothed, and many were parched! Back on the boat and off
we go, and so do our clothes.. Dancing, drinking and fun time with the boat
staff.. Great staff on the boat. Rain, Skye and the rest of the crew are
awesome. Rum punch was flowing. We all had crazy red kool aid tongues. lol. A
stop to snorkel, but not too much to see. A ray lazily scowering the b ottom
and a few fish on a small clump of sea greenery. Oh well better than nothing.
Get back on the boat and there was a contest. Why not? So we join in. The
girls lay on the deck on towel and then whip cream is placed on all the good
spots. The men are to LICK the girls clean. First one clean wins.. hehe. Well
we won!!! A bottle of rum! great job baby, and to all who played.. Meow! A
quick dip back in the ocean and off the boat goes. Poor J is not feeling well
by now though. Snorkeling has made her a tad ill. I go up to check on her but
she is in good hands with B and S+H.. Hmm.. Looks like we are missing stuff
being in the back.. Darn it! More dancing. I'm trying to learn how the boat
girls shake their booties so well.. They try their best to teach my white ass
how to dance, lol. Oh well it was fun. Finally we get the "put your clothes
on" call and we know our fun time is about to end.. A few PDA's and PDS's are
seen here and there, but it wouldn't be a Hedo boat without them. lo l. Well
done Phuckers! Back on board and back to the resort. We get in at about 7pm.
Dammit.. I need more nap time. Dinner reservations are for 9 and 9:30.. Hope
some Phuckers show up at 9 to fill it but alas no.. Some Phuckers we haven't
seen since after dinner the night before :( I feel bad as we finally fill into
dinner. Some have been waiting for 30 minutes +. Poop.. Oh well it's vacation
and people seem to get on island time fairly easy.. It's hard to stick to
reservations. Tonite we are doing a little school girl theme for dress up..
All the girls look hot.. Hmm.. We seem to be missing some Phuckers for school
girl.. The resort seem pretty quiet tonight. The disco was dead when we
dropped in. Hmm Hot tub? Not many there either, and phuck it's hot again. J+T
head to the quad and we just call it a night. :( We have to leave early in the
morning. Blah! 8am bus..
To the room for fun time. Hmm I think we still went to bed late. Or should I
say early am..

Day 5-
Oh I hate this day.. We wake up early by a knock on the door. S+H in the
school girl and boy gear! How awesome do they look. Hotties! Phuckin love it..
Dammit we have to get our packing finished. I get motivated, get the stuff
packed and our luggage goes out the door. 7:20 it's still there. Phuck it. We
took everything up front and checked out. Check out went more than smooth. 2
seconds and it was over. Grabbed breakfast and chilled with a few Phuckers
before we herded onto the bus. 2 hours later we arrive at the airport. S+L, M
and Chris and I, a few other couples too. We all are quiet and solemn. No one
wants the trip to end.. We all know reality begins again. Blah. Uneventful
flight, we got upgraded and got to take an earlier connection flight. Thank
god. Home by 9pm.. Looonnggg day.

Smaller buffet that H2 but breakfast was great. Didn't go for anything else.
Fruit went quick. No ackee and salt fish any morning there :( Reggae Cafe-
Great Patties! Jerk chicken was ok, but nothing special.. Made me miss many of
our favorite Negril places.
Nud-e-grill- Great burgers and fries, and nachos. John always has a smile on..
Thumbs way up!
Munisan- Yummy. All of it!
Pastafarie- Very good. Bread was yummy. I had the lamb, scollops and shrimp
with red sauce one night and garlic the next.. The garlic was better. All
decent though. The cracker break was soo yummy! but only came with humus one
time, and cuz we asked 2 times for it.. NBD but just funny. lol.

Resort- Nice, clean and intimate. Smaller than H2 but better rooms. Better
beach and foliage at H2 though.. So plop the buildings down at H2 and we have
a winner. lol

Rooms- Nice and clean. Love the soaking tubs, and the mirrors above. Good
amount of storage space available. Mirrored closet, shelves and a bureau. Cute
little sitting area and I love the french doors to the nude pool area. They
stuck a bit, but oh well.

Hot Tubs- Smaller than H2 on the nude side. And no way to regulate it. If it
was too hot it was too hot.. One night it was perfect! The others too hot.

Disco- The disco was fun. Same music each night but H2 is the same way pretty
much. I like that the water slide goes thru it.

Water Slide- Seemed faster at H3. Love that it snakes thru the disco like I
said. Many steps up to it, so it was a good after dinner work out.

Front Desk- Well we found they really don't budge. Nice people and I know
thats their job but really.. We have had great luck with H2 during slow times
in the past.. They didn't care at H3 that the resort wasn't full. Also a few
people came in that had a specific room request that didn't get it. Got bumped
to OVP, and the desk claims that to be an upgrade.. Not many look at the prude
side like any kind of upgrade. Blah!

Spa- Many raved about the spa. We'll have to try it next time maybe.. I love
that H2 has the message hut on the nude beach.

Gym- looked nice enough. lol. As I walked on by.

Prude facilities- Why is this side always bigger??? The beach is bigger and
better and the pool is huge. lol

The People- Gotta love Hedonists! New Phuckers were made and old Phuckers well
they are always awesome! Great people all around really.

All in all we would love to plop this resort in Negril as there is so much to
do and see near by in Negril where as there is not much near by H3 at all. I
missed walking the beach until I finally got tired. lol. I'm just so happy we
got the opportunity to go..

Chris & Melissa