Having visited Hedo III (twice) and Desire, we decided to check out Hedo II for the first time. It was also our first trip traveling with Denny P's WWW group. We've read about HII for years, so we were prepared for average food, average facilities, and lots of fun.
Starting Off With a Hedo Moment
It started off so well. The plane took off only 30 minutes late. For US Air, that's 'on time'. Ruth got into the Hedo mood by changing into her shorts on the plane . . . without leaving her seat (she was very discreet).
Philly International Was Already on "Island Time"
As we landed, a US Airways rep boarded the plane and advised that 24 people would not have bags, since the plane took off without loading them all (another Philly baggage conveyer belt breakdown - worst baggage airport in the country!). Insult to injury- they didn't tell us which people didn't have bags. We had to wait for all of the luggage to be unloaded, and see if ours wasn't there. Of course, our one bag, checked in 3 hours before the flight, was still at home (we hate checking luggage, but can't get around the liquid rules. We need LOTS of sunblock). So, we wait in some lines, give Montego Bay our info, cross our fingers, and finally get onto the bus ride to Hedo II.
The Road to Negril . . .
We remember reading that the new roads made the trip to HII take about 45 minutes. Our ride up was 1 hr, 40 min (with one long bathroom/bar break), and our return trip (no stops) was 1 hr, 15 min. Maybe we imagined the 45 minutes?
Checking In / Sports Night
Finally, we arrive at HII (sans suitcase) and check right into a Garden View prude room (it was 5:00 pm by now). We scout the resort a little, grab some jerk chicken from the prude grill, and made our way to dinner. The WWW theme was Sports Night, and Ruth wore a sexy Eagles shirt, while Steve was dressed as a referee. After a buffet dinner (so-so), we find a TV with ESPN in the piano bar, and tune in to watch the Eagles on Monday Night Football. At 10:30, the piano player (Danny) started playing and grumbled about the TV, which we lowered but left on. We later found the TV room next door, but were happy watching the Eagles win while listening to the piano player and getting drinks from the bar. There was a good crowd in there watching the game. In fact, this was probably the most crowded we saw the piano bar all week.
Tuesday - No Luggage. No Air Conditioning. At Least the Bars Were Open
After a few frustrating calls to US Airways (which gave us no confidence we'd ever see our luggage), we bought some overpriced sunblock, and headed out to the nude pool to enjoy the day. Over the course of the day, we occasionally checked on the arrival of our suitcase and the temperature of our room. Neither was good news. Every time we called the front desk to tell them to fix the AC, they said "we'll send maintenance out". After 3 maintenance calls and one sleepless night, we were getting pretty frustrated. On Tuesday morning, the front desk agreed to try maintenance one more time - if it didn't work, they would move us. By that evening, it still hadn't gotten better, and we were told there were no rooms to move to. We finally asked to speak to a manager. We spoke to a guest relations manager, who explained that none of the rooms in our block had AC. Why didn't anyone tell us that before? After some discussions, they finally agreed to move us to a Garden View nude room.
They made us feel like we were trying to getting into a higher priced room without paying for it. We honestly didn't care whether we were on the nude side or the prude side. We just wanted a working A/C. When they said there weren't any rooms left, what they meant was there weren't any on the prude side. We finally had a working A/C, and we were happy.
Tuesday eve we ate at The Reggae Cafe/ Scotch Bonnet, which is the prude grill transformed at night. The food was okay, but the place has NOTHING on Scotch Bonnet at H3. It didn't help that a torrential rain began just as we were finishing our meal. We huddled under an umbrella and made our way to the buffet for dessert. We missed out on the WWW school girl night because we didn't have our costumes.
HURRAY! Our bag arrived Tuesday, near midnight. It was just enough time to open it up and get out our PJ costumes for the disco. It was also the only night we saw more than 10 people in the disco, but it was mobbed for PJ night.
Wed - Finally Settled In
We were finally able to unpack and settle in now that we had our luggage and a room with working A/C. On the down side, the rain started around 11:30 am and lasted until 4:30 pm. The plus side - this was the date of the erotic gift exchange with Denny P's group. This was the highlight of the day. There were over 75 gifts to be opened, stolen, and swapped. Some fun moments: The tallest girl in the room unwrapped an "inflatable midget" gift - what are the odds? A man opening lingerie and then modeling it for all. The poor men stuck early on with the 14" dildos and offering it up to be stolen to every single person. The very much in demand inflatable man and wife, choking chicken, and bondage chair. It was a fun time, and we thank the Denny and the WWW group for making it happen.
The Rest of The Week
We had 2 to 4 hours of rain every day, but not enough to dampen our spirits (or garner a sunshine guarantee from Hedo). As always, Hedo days blur, but here are some general observations.
How Hot Do You Want It?
Get yer mind outta the gutter! I'm talking about hot water, which is legendary for being a rare commodity at H2. We had NO issues with water for our stay. Whenever we took a shower (usually late afternoon / early eve) we had water pressure AND hot water. What a treat!
So They CAN Make Good Buffet Food!
Overall, we thought the food was adequate. We ate at the buffet twice and found the food to be exactly as expected - average to poor. The only really worthwhile buffet was the Gala buffet on Friday. It was filled with fresh cooking stations and lobster. The food and presentation were excellent. It proved that they could do a quality buffet. Of course, it could be that the pre-dinner martini bar made it all better. On all other nights, it was uninspiring.
We really enjoyed the specialty restaurants - Munasan (once) and Pastafari (twice). It was weird for us to see Munasan outside at the end of the dining area, since we were used to H3's air conditioned restaurant. However, it was fine, and we thought the meal was excellent.
The nude pool grill for lunch seemed OK, though I got sick after eating grilled cheese and fries (it happened twice), so we avoided it after that. Lunch buffet in the dining room was okay - at least there was a pasta station for cooked to order food. Other than the pasta station, we weren't impressed with the lunch buffet. The breakfast buffet was typical - cooked to order omelets, French toast (plain, and not as good as H3), pancakes, cereal, ham, etc. We stopped ordering mushrooms in our eggs once we realized it made the omelet taste funny.
One thing that really bothers me at both Hedos: No Mangos!?!? We're in Jamaica, and yet I never saw a mango being served.
You're Here. You Wanna Go There . . .
The grounds were gorgeous over this sprawling resort. Clearly, it was a well-established resort. There were painted rocks and carved trees from past visitors everywhere, and numerous paths and archways. This was definitely one of the nicest looking resorts we've attended. On the other hand, the grounds were hilly, and walking from the room to the dining areas took some time. We never made it to the gym, so at least we got some exercise walking the hills.
May I Be of Service?
The service at H2 was mixed. The ECs were incredible. We found all of them to helpful and personable, as well as fun. The specialty restaurants had great service. The bartenders were pretty good, and the nude side crew worked their tails off. Granted, sending Ruth up would get faster service, but that's to be expected. On the other hand, we usually had terrible service at the main dining room, and more often than not were getting up to get our own water (or coffee at breakfast). We also had some issues with the front desk, and had to work with the guest relations manager to get it straightened out. Overall, the service was okay, but it has nothing on Desire.
A Hot Tub Built for Two . . . or more
One of our missions was to find the "hidden" hot tubs at the resort (hint, one is on the prude side). We found one before dinner and stopped for a short, um, dip in the tub. We had been in there for under a minute when two foreign guys walked past, stopped, and then stripped to their swimsuits. We're both looking at them (we're naked, too), and we even say "Hot tub for two", but they proceed to get in. Now we weren't exactly in the middle of anything yet, but you could tell that we were there for private time. We were both hungry, so we just got out, rather than argue. We're not sure if they didn't understand, or they were thinking that maybe I would share and that Ruth would be ecstatic that she now had 3 men in the hot tub built for 2. Heh.
Only Slightly Wicked
The atmosphere was fairly subdued from what we've experienced at HIII and Desire. We saw very little "action" or overt activities taking place. We only saw Body shots once during our stay. We saw a few subtle public displays here and there, but even the hot tub at night was pretty subdued. Maybe we just had bad timing. On the other hand, Steve loved the water balloon wars ongoing between the beach and the pool. The only time a truce occurred was when a Sandals boat was getting too close, and suddenly they became a much better target.
The Evil Volleyball Court
Steve played volleyball every chance he could (and was routinely chastised for his habit of wearing shorts while playing - gotta protect the valuables, you know. Hey, who wants to dive in the sand without protection?). One day, the court rebelled and took out 3 players in a matter of minutes. Granted, one player was injured running to get ice for the first player, but that still counts in my book! Still, through injury and heavy rain, we persevered and had some great games everyday.
Bunnies, Bunnies Everywhere
The Friday WWW theme was Playboy night, and there were a good number of bunny ears in the dining room that night (it was the gala buffet, so everyone was there). Ruth had the idea of a group 'thank you' photo with Denny P, so we helped put that together. Denny looked happy to be surrounded by all of his bunnies.
Smile, You're On Candid Camera
On our last morning, we were outside catching an hours worth of sun before starting the long journey home. We were walking the beach and noticed a single man taking pictures with his cell phone. Normally, Steve would have confronted him and tossed the phone in the ocean, but we were on our way out to catch our bus. Instead, we told the security guard, who walked over and watched the man hurriedly hide the phone. She talked to him for a minute, but I don't think any action was taken. We had to go, so perhaps we missed it, but we're hoping the man was kicked out.
Let My People Go
Some of the WWW group started leaving on Fri, and the mass exodus occurred on Sat. The vibe of the resort changed completely. All locations Sat night were empty. Sunday morning, we packed up and went out to the pool for a final hour of sun. Even at 10:00 am, there were chairs and towels to be had everywhere. I believe December is a down month, and without the WWWs the resort became very quiet.
Home Sweet Home
The 11:00 bus brought us to Montego Bay, and to huge lines. We still made it on the plane on time (and with enough time to pick up a few cheap bottles of Absolut), landed on time, and were home about 9 hours after we left Hedo. Note to future travelers you are allowed to bring alcohol packaged at the airport on board with you. If you have a connecting flight in the United States, you will need to stash the alcohol in your checked luggage between flights. You are not allowed to board a flight within the US with the liquids (other than as described on the TSA website).
Wrapping Up
Okay, we had fun on our trip. We met some great people, too, and spent a week in the Jamaican sun. Overall, though, H2 ranks behind Desire and H3 for us (in that order). The food really is a down point. We never went hungry, and we are not gourmands by any stretch, but we felt that the lunch and dinner buffets left much to be desired. That, and the much better service would make us lean away from H2 in the future. However, the groups really make the trip, so perhaps we would return with the WWW's.
Thanks to all for a great time!
