This is a trip report from an Ohio rookie and VERY opinionated traveler. Basic info: I am a male, 50 years old and a diabetic for 48 years. Ive lost most of my sight and balance now, along with my erectile ability but, thank the surgeons, I am the beneficiary of a penis implant, making personal relations possible. If you see me next time please ask for a tour. Yes, it stays hard until you release it. If the powers that be would care to, Ill even demonstrate the equipment for any curious parties. Some bragged beforehand, but chose not to step up to the plate. OK. You know who you are, dont you?
This trip was put in to operation some years ago. Charlotte (Charlie) had been interested in going to Hedo years ago, but nothing ever came. I have a very dear friend, Linda, who has been going to Hedo for about ten years now. When we found that our adult interests included places such as this, we were both glad that a common ground had been established. We both have stable loving relationships that only benefit from this. No, we dont fool around with each other. Too bad though. Linda is pretty cute. OK. Tom is pretty cute too, but I stop there. No guys on my float.
We booked our trip in Dec. 2005 and just hung on the message boards. Some things I have said were ripped by some people, and totally misunderstood by some others. Isnt that just the way it is? But what do you really know before you get to Hedo? There is some vague idea you can get, but reality is a better experience. DennyP was the best way for us to go, I think. I had info from my friends (who are unaffiliated with Denny) and the message boards so we went and booked with DennyP and WWW. Normally, Im not a joiner. I figured that WWW would give us the chance to try the lifestyle side of life, but at a casual pace. Yep, that worked out OK. The countdown had started. We stocked up on whatever was needed and kept sorting it. After all that, we were still short on clothes for Charlie (sexy only for dinner), and I needed some cover for dinner (propriety). One should never offend another at supper! We bought some stuff at the Gift Shop and if you dont mind spending gazillions of dollars, there is a lot there. We did need some official branded merchandise, but its not cheap. Oh well. Vacation dont ya know. Now the tales of depravity you really want to hear. You Hedo perverts! (I love every one of you! Almost every one!)
GOING DOWN 101.
No problems mon. Smooth skies and good time. Same flight as Jules and Brian. Out of ATL. Small problemo with the door but the duct tape held. This was the end of no problemo.
SANGSTER INTL. AIRPORT
Remember folks, this a country that depends on tourism for a lot of their income. Does that mean anything today? It means a slow go to enter the country for a short stay. Fine. It is the way mon. Here is a hint. You will have two docs to fill out, not one. One customs and one immigration. If you make mistakes you will have to fill out another form. The customs officials do not laugh. I tried to get at least a chuckle and I swear I could hear a gun being loaded. Comedy in dangerous places. Not exactly a bad review, but a course change might be needed. Nothing to declare line works best, but it is difficult to fully understand the dialect at first. Just keep saying HUH? Stupid Americans. Some things that were said I really did not understand. Didnt matter as I was permitted into the country. Be sure that you show you will also be LEAVING the country. Welcome to Jamaica! Now go home! Way too much walking at Sangster. But who cares? You are in paradise!
TO JULES AND BRIAN: We latched on to you because we thought you were the seasoned vets! I said follow them. They look like they know how to do this. Kind of worked. We just kept going and followed you. It was hot and sweaty and ridiculous, but it is the way of things at Sangster Intl. We were in a constant stream until we went into the Superclubs lounge. Then the pace quickened. (Jules lost her cute hat, but it was recovered quickly. See? We were behind them!) We flew through the airport so fast we were never approached by any pot vendors! I missed out on that one and getting a lighter there, but our rest stop on the bus took care of that urge. You can get a lighter and a pipe at the beer stop we made. HISTORY: I come from the 1970s, and that means I grew up with paranoia. I used to roll joints, but now its the one hitter. Clandestine and discreet. Smoke a joint and everyone can smell it. Use a pipe and cover it up after you toke and no one will notice. Ive smoked walking down the strip in Vegas, but thats another story. We also got the (!!!) from some roadside chickens. They were really cool looking chickens. All red and stuff. Like with feathers. Chickens will do anything for you, but they are, after all, just chickens. As to the bus ride, all I can say is that it was no big deal. I am from West Virginia (by birth) and the roads were similar, including the few towns we went through, with the street being right there with the shops. Narrow and like that. Noticed the goats and the dogs. No separate breeds on the dogs. All seemed to be the dingo variety. That is what all dogs will be eventually. Fascinating. The terrain reminded me of WVA in the tropics. That was the last I remember of Jamaican terrain outside of Hedo 2. So be it for my virgin visit. Next time I am going to look deeper.
OUR ARRIVAL
This part is very special for me. I have a very good friend of some 30 years and her wonderful husband, who have been going to Hedo for over 10 years, as mentors. They were SO important in making up my mind about going to Hedo 2. My friend Linda is A#1. Your hubby is pretty cool too. When we booked, Tom and Linda (Tom) had hatched a plot to be there for our virgin visit! What can you say about that? It makes me tear up still. Remember, we go way back as friends. Well, the bus pulls up to the lobby, Im looking around everywhere, luggage is getting unloaded, and a familiar friend Linda puts a drink in my hand and says welcome to Hedo! My expression was only one of question; what the F*** are you doing here? Read a lot of happy hugs here. That was the single most impressive greeting to paradise one could ever have. They were even four doors down from us in H-block. Perfect start to a Hedo vacation! They had to leave on Tuesday that week but I will love them for that push-off. And yes they are very special friends.
WWW
We did book this trip with DennyP/WWW because I am not a joiner as such. However, there is safety in numbers. We wanted to see if Lifestyle was OK with us, but how do you go about it at first? Although, it was not an end unto itself. I hoped that the group would help out with that and it did. We were delayed in meeting the other members of our group, but I met some people who I really liked being around for extended periods of time. Yeah, you people were a riot. Humor and places and origin have always been partners, and those that I kidded about it were great. Especially NJ, home to Frank Sinatra! God bless em all! Eugene/Kelley- E who was present for Charlies Delroys Bar Performance, a willing witness to depravity-Kelley, I will just say remote control panties night? OK. OUR BC friends- you two cracked me up over and over!! Thanks for showing me how BC goes to the moon!!! Super cute too!!!! Remember, I still have the remote. Please put the panties on, OK? Ill press the remote at.. No, no its better you dont know. Kathy-Smug look, hah! Monty and Michelle- you two surpassed what I hoped for!!!!!!! Monty, I salutes you. Michelle is such an asset! You are indeed a very lucky male to have her full interests. Well have to talk more next year. (Michelle, thanks for saying hi. You were one that made me feel very welcome early Monday). But when she busts loose, look out! Wild woman!! Yow!
BOUNDARIES
In the Hedo 2 environ, some discussion of your moral latitudes should really be discussed with your SO. Understand that, plus understand that Hedo 2 can produce the Kid in the Candy Store effect. Fine. After the first day, we got it together on what was going to be OK and what would not fly. Adjustments were still made but we talked. It can work if you talk it out. Bottom line was respect for everyone has to be foremost. What I will say is we worked it out to mutual satisfaction. Pretty much. Its always a work in progress, a walk in the woods, a crash on the highway. With that out of the way. It got to be very fun that week.
THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA
We only did the one daytime trip on the cat with our group, and I have got to make (get ready for this) a confession of error. Yes, I was wrong. I took on the ocean and I lost. Its only been a scant 20 years since my last baptism in the sea and that has been it. Ive also softened up a bit and was in no shape but I had even brought my own gear so snorkel I must.
I was last in and needed a safety vest to avoid going down on the reef. The water was tough. I was batted around and was getting pretty beat up. Charlotte was already out with the others and I just floated around looking at the bottom. Kind of brown in color, but there were some fish running about. I did get to see the famous urchins though. They were doing urchin things and were quite oblivious to the humans. Such is life on the bottom. No reef blight was seen by me, but maybe someone else saw some. There is a problem in the Caribbean which is encroaching on Jamaica. Such is that issue.
Now, here I was floating along, being taken by the current farther and farther away from my boat (Hedo cat) and not seeing the other boats in the area. I heard a whistle and remembered that it was the signal to return to the boat. The sea was bobbing me up and down to a depth that I had a hard time seeing the surface. No problem, as I saw a boat when I looked around. Yeah, it was not the Hedo boat, but it was a boat and I headed home, the sea was kicking my ass and I was ready to rest. Here I was, battling the surge and steadily making my way to the boat. As I was just about to get there, I heard the woman on board say sir, sir this is not your boat! Not what I really wanted to hear just then. I begged to just hang on and rest, knowing that my journey was not yet over. Oh boy. At this point I was not letting go of my buoy. I rested for a bit and then shoved off for the final run to salvation. This is when Neptune said Kick His Ass and I felt I was fighting for every yard of progress. The scenery on the ocean floor was very cool along the way. Why not take it in at that point, right? OK. When I got about 50 feet off the stern of the Hedo cat I knew that I was at the end of what I could do. I have always remembered what my diver friends have always said: if you need help let it be known! Dont hide it! I was not going to make it back easily so I waved my arm and called for help. It was obviously successful (some will argue on the merits of the victim) and my friends Caryn and Eugene were swimming up to help. One of the cat crew jumped in and came out too. I was not drowning by any means, but I did need help and it is there if you need it. Nice to know those things.
THE CLIFF
Why would anyone in their correct mind jump off of a perfectly good cliff, seemingly for no good reason? Insane, but we do have some of those people in our fold. I applaud Caryn, Russ and the other nut for doing what your body tells you not to do. Charlie thought better and decided that bruises were not for her bottom and didnt jump. Good girl. Made for a good show. The guys who control the cliff leave something to be desired, but it is not my cliff. They arent too bad, but I would not call them customer friendly. Just be careful. Charlie was using our 35mm camera to get shots there, so if we ever find the film *Ask Charlie about this one. Shes cute but oh such a bimbo!! We will get those pics out. I stayed on the deck and soaked in the scenery on the return. Unique and oh so beautiful. The setting is so relaxing and Caribbean like. Love the water. Made it back to H2 with no problems.
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
Naughty Schoolgirl Night was one of the best times I have ever had in public! Ive always loved the raw materials involved, and coupled with remote control vibrating panties, well it was just so OOOOHHHHHH!!! First, let me say that more participation is needed. I think I saw only about ten or so schoolgirls scattered around, and there were only 3-4 remote panties in operation! Scandalous! On the interesting side, 3 remotes were on the same frequency, making it really funny (male POV) when the trigger was pulled!!!! Two of the damsels involved would let it be known the buzzer was hit! The other one was just waiting to put the buzzer on high and leave it going! Too hot!! The goings on later were even better. Some female did some stuff on a piano and all I can say about it is bellissimo! She was such a shy desert flower before that magical evening. Sigh.
PJ night at 11 was OK. Personally, I didnt bring what I had bought and intended to wear, so I was not in full dress for it, but there was plenty of very cute stuff all around. Eye candy for sure. My blood sugars were through the roof! Kidding. The group dances in the disco were really cute and will be in my mind forever, especially Jill and Lauren !!! Oh you pretty things. Other than those moments of fun, a disco is not native ground for me. It was an OK place, but it seemed to be more of a small room than anything else. Expand the place and that would help. I quit tobacco 5 years ago, and that was kind of gross after a bit. They could use some better ventilation.
There was a socially rebellious group that was intent on taking over the water slide from the prudes almost every day! It was always made up of the same individuals. Imagine that! I dont think any prudes were even there to be taken over, as their side of H2 was pretty vacant at their pool. Well, those same deviants even got prizes for doing that business! Screaming, landing, splashing and that such! Rewarding such behavior will only encourage it. Damn those deviants. And you know you are! Cool.
FOOD
I thought the food was fine. Better than what I can do in our kitchen, by far. BREAKFAST--The scrambled eggs were done just the way I remember from summer camp and there was plenty of bacon and everything else I could want. Damned good coffee! (That was a hint) LUNCH- hardly ever did it. DINNER- great from my POV. Food sustains the body so the body can enjoy itself. Its great that some food exceeds that mark. The complaint would be on Friday. Lobster thermador? I was expecting something better, but overall there was plenty to choose from.
THE NUDE SIDE OF THE MOON
That is where we spent our time, either in the pool or its environs. Could we just call it Delroys? When we arrived and got our room (I hope the next resident of Frostedville enjoyed their gifts. If you destroyed the gifts shame on you.) We stripped down and were naked ever more. No problem mon. It was my first time to be naked in public, but who really cared? There is just no valid reason to care if you are on holiday at Hedo! I loved it. It became no big deal and I really do prefer the lifestyle. My friends were a few rooms down and it was just so cool to say hi nakedly!
ME SO HORNY
OK Charlotte, well go at it again in a minute.Did anyone see her salute and then roll out of bed on July ?th? Hilarious!!!!! It was one of the greatest exits of all time! We had been having a very rigorous nap with the window curtains open, and after we were done Charlie waves at the window, says shows over folkks and then rolls off the bed with legs flailing! What a trooper!!!
FLOTSAM AND JETSAM
I really didnt notice any social distractions, other than a scant few. I already dont like the pass people. All single males with no SO. Go away. Find your own. Also noticed many single men at night. No problems though.
What is up with people coming to a nude beach and wearing clothing? And then refusing to leave or take it off??!! Impudence! To get even I walked to the prude grill naked and asked if it was the prude side. Did anyone care? No. Maybe I need a bigger schlong LEAVING JA-In addition, the only customs people I saw the entire trip were the two at Sangster on check-out duty. They were not very funny, but Im a good straight man. Did not notice the humor until it was too late. We were in line at the Delta counter and I put the bag on the table. We unlocked it (all TSA locks-do you really trust all the airline employees?) and the agent started to go through the suitcase used by Charlotte! Can you guess what was in that suitcase? Yup. The vibrating panties box was right on top for all to see, but the agent took a special interest in her blinking LED shoes! He pulls the shoe up and then gets the attention of his partner so he could enjoy it too!!!!! Meanwhile about 20 people around us were staring intently into her suitcase. Lovely. He did stop before encountering the rubber friends. Good thing too. I couldnt think of any snappy things to say that wouldnt get me strip searched. Next time hombre.
PDA REPORT
I loved the antics in the pool. And the hot tub. And the areas around them. And the grotto!!! Oh my! Bonjour! To the friends we made in there, see you next year I hope.
THE DRUG REPORT
I found the pot to be mediocre, the coke lame and the hash OK. Call me whatever but it is not as good as has been rumored. Amaze me next time, please? The cake was superb though. It had a very high stupid factor, and what else did it do? Who the hell knows. Duhhh! If you want it here it is! Come and get it! We had enough herbs to last 6 weeks, so we passed on the bounty. I have to say our room was bare upon check-in. Thanks for nothing creepos. Ill remember you!!! Kidding. No, not really. Never smelled any offensive odors at the beach, other than some gentleman who needed a good oral surgeon. All of those pot smokers!!!!! What were those people complaining about? Get a grip. Editorial over. I got my stuff from various sources and paid various prices and that is that. Had to bring everything else in with us.
OVERVIEW AND REQUIEM
It was the greatest of adventures, this Jamaican trip of ours. Personally and sexually, it was great. The undercurrent of eroticism keeps flowing all day and night. Oohh yahhh! Just try and agree on what will be OK. Helps to avoid some problems. All who I have met are now friends to me. That is cool, because what greater friends can one have than naked ones? Nothing to hide. Except for your souls. And those lay hidden very deep I was just very impressed with the whole place. A playground for adults, as well there should be. The resort was run well for all I could tell. There was food when I was hungry, booze when I woke up, ganja when I rolled over, naked females when I opened my eyes Is this not Hedo? Yummy yummy yummy. I really want to thank all who have been wonderful to us. Only a few people were creeps, and even as such they were pretty benign. OMG!! I have lived in greater LA! Maybe that explains it. Lottsa people, lottsa attitudes. If it bothers you just ignore it. It will go away. Mostly.
THE DIABETIC IN ME
OK. We first have to set this up properly. I am lobbying for all those with this disease. I have Type I diabetes. I have lived with it for 49 years, a lot longer than most. I have suffered complications and struggled to survive at times, but all I did was keep kicking. Almost everyone knows someone with this disease, but how well do you know them? I am not like all other diabetics: I like to play in ways some others would blanch at. Oh well. All you can do to make this possible is to check your blood sugar all of the time. This simple act did cause some concern from one guest, but *** . Im sorry (not) that I have to use blood to measure my condition, but if it really bothers you, shove it up OK. I will not suffer this kind of prejudice any more! Basic math: you cannot get contaminated from a blood sample like that! No way!! I can debate it. Come on! Stop being discriminatory like that! My body doesnt work like yours does. I know it makes you feel better to dislike it, but I was born into this. My fault again? Sorry, I was on my soapbox. If you want to have a vacation to end all others you can do it. It may require some adjustments but it can be done. Also considering the number of diabetics in the population, I did not see much of it in evidence. Why?
My waterproof pump container was OK. Worked well. If you wear an insulin pump and want to enjoy the water you need this. Its called Sportguard and is available from Medtronic/Minimed. E-mail me if you need help. It requires extra planning and supplies to function in the real world. Plus you have to wear something, but the fact remains that I can enjoy the province of the whole. I want to say this: no matter what shape you are in, you have a basic human right to enjoy yourself. Some handicaps do pose problems at Hedo. Wheelchairs are hard to push in the sand, iron lungs dont float well and diabetics deal with blood. This is the last I will say about it. Deal with it!
EXIT MUSIC
DennyP-thank you for doing what you do for a living. You may be a flesh peddler, but youre OK in our book. Lets try to get twice the booty for the local school kids next summer. Tom and Linda- I love you guys! Caryn (yoo-hoo! Mr. Crazy Man) and John- Monty and Michelle-I dont have a piano but I can humm.Kim and Kathy- you are the coolest Canadians I have ever met!!!!! We will return the favor next year and show you two the moon! OK? Kim-run those remote panties. She deserves no less! Russ and Jill-- great guy, cute wife. Why does he jump off of things? Eugene and Kelly- NJ is awright, good thing goomba? No, I have no wet concrete for you! You two were great. Kelly is a good wench. And Eugene is a good wencher. Chris and Lauren- great all the way-lovely lips. Agustas- you are the heart of the Hedo operation. Much respect to you. All others whom I may have met- Hi and have at it! One short week was just not enough time to get to know everyone I would have liked to. I would like to gush, but males (most) dont do that too well. Thanks to everyone we will be back next year, or even earlier. If I may have slammed you or your POV, Im sorry. No insults were meant that way. I have always stated: I am an opinionated asshole. Please take all comments in that vein. I believe in the Socratic method; debate and discuss. Most who I encountered were OK with that. All I wanted was hedonism and that is what I got. Yep. I am coming back.