Brian & Jules - July, 2006 Wet, Wild, and Wicked

Jules & Brian

Trip Report 7/9/06 thru 7/16/06 

ohhhhhhhh...........this was way more fun than I had ever imagined, unfortunately (or maybe thank god) I cant remember everything but here we go............ 

We are frequent flyers to Desire and have only been to Hedo II once before this trip and it was only for 4 days so I dont count it.  If you are looking for a comparison, I dont really like to compare Desire and Hedo II as I feel they are 2 totally different types of resorts, both great and fun too. 

Travel:  Flew Delta straight from ATL to Jamaica.  Of course the door wouldnt shut on the plane when we were ready to leave so they had to call maintenance.  Thats just the kind of freak stuff that happens to us so we were not shocked nor stressed at all.  We only got into Montego Bay maybe 20 minutes late. Customs was 10 times better this go-round so no complaints there.  We were rushed through the airport and out to the bus and were on the road faster than I had imagined.  No complaints there.  I happen to enjoy the bus ride, gives you a good chance to see the countryside.  I know most people take items for the children in Jamaica, but Brian says he is taking dog food next time and pouring out the bus window down the road.  We saw an unusual amount of starving dogs on the side of the road on our way to the resort.  And for some odd reason they all seemed to be the same color and size, as if they only have one breed. 

We are there (1 hour and 15 minutes later)!  Checked in , downed another redstripe.  Met Russ, Jill & Lauren (My new BFF) in the lobby.  They were the official welcoming committee for the WWW group I think.  Hugging me like they knew me their whole lives.  When we went to the pool we met the rest of the wild bunch.  We all meshed right away.  Cant remember what happened after that besides going to the welcoming party.  The rest of the night was a blur.  Congrats to Karrie & Carlos for winning 3 nights to Hedo....YAY! 

The food....YUMMY!  I have read mixed reviews over and over again about the food at Hedo.  We like the food, and thought they had a good selection. Yes it was kind of lame that they advertised grilled lobster on the board but then served lobster newburg instead at the grand buffet but honestly, who cares?  It was still good and I still ate a giant plate full.  The omelettes in the morning are wonderful, made to order.  The fish and eggs together grossed me out but Brian ate them every day they had them and said they were good.  I highly recommend trying new food on vacation, you might be pleasantly surprised.  We only ate at one of the restaurants, Pastafari, and the food was very good.  I recommend that you eat there at least once.  The grill on the nude side of course had good fast food and DO NOT LEAVE the resort without eating the jerk chicken.  We ate jerk chicken every single day promptly at 4:30.   On this vacation, Brian gained 10 lbs. And Jules gained 5.   It will take Brian 1 day to lose his 10 lbs. And Jules 1 year to lose her 5 lbs. 

Beach: The beach was small but nice and very clean I thought.  Augustus is still there raking raking raking away.    Its a nice area to spend the mornings floating away and soaking in the sun.  We tried to do this in the mornings before the pool but it didnt always work out.  Peer pressure made us head straight to the pool on some mornings purely for social reasons.  Didnt want to miss anything.   

Pool: I found the pool (the nude one of course) to be pretty clean every single day.  This was the social magnet spot of the resort and I wouldnt recommend missing this on your trip.  This is where we met just about every person in the resort.  Bartenders were most excellent at the swim-up bar.  No lame weak drinks.  

Entertainment staff: Winston, Winston, Winston, YAY for Winston.  All the staff was great and did their best to get everyone to join in the fun but at the same time did not pressure you.  We had representatives in our group that participated in just about everything so we sat back and enjoyed watching them.  Yay for Lauren winning the wet t-shirt contest.  She deserved every bit of that bottle of rum!   

Disco: The disco was touch and go which I thought was very strange.  Some nights it was hopping and others it was filled with staff and locals with no room for the guests.  One night it was packed with everyone dancing and in a matter of moments it had cleared out and the disco bar was full.  On most nights it was very hot and smokey in there. 

Piano Bar: This is a fun place to hang out with friends and even better if you have some singers in your group.  I do not and can not sing but I enjoy listening to others.  I heard that a girl Michelle did a great piece by piece strip-tease on the piano but I missed it.  Maybe you could do it again next year Michelle! 

Hot Tub (Nude side of course): I only went in the hot tub one night (I think) late with friends and we were doing body shots.  It was my first time doing body shots, but not my last.  Thanks Gerry & Eugene, the body shot team.  They could win an olympic medal in this event.  That is an event in the olympics, right? 

Waterslide: Im giving the water slide a triple YAY!  That was fun and I hear if you lube your butt up before sliding you will go faster.  Brian only wanted to go down the slide so that he could get lubed up by the girls.  Perv!  People were getting downright competitive on their splash landing.  So it was more fun for me to watch people come down at the bottom than for me to go down the slide.  Tsunami Gerry was a big hit on this E-ticket ride. 

The Staff: I give them a 10 all the way, every single one of them!  Very accommodating! 

Husband (mine): What?  You arent supposed to give your husband a review?  Why not, he was on the trip and his performance is important on vacation isnt it?  Im giving my husband a 10 all the way.  He is perfect in every way.  I could say this vacation brought us closer together, but every day of our lives we spend together actually brings us closer together.  He is a wonderful man in everyday life, not just on vacation.  Thanks Brian for the wonderful trip.  I appreciate everything you do for me and also TO me! You rock my world man! 

WWW Group: I just cant thank Denny enough for coming up with this idea.  We traveled with a great bunch of people.  Even if I dont mention you by name doesnt mean I dont remember you and appreciate any conversations or fun we had.  I have NEVER laughed so hard.  I highly recommend the WWW trips, no matter what resort you go to.   

All in all we found Hedo II to be a fun place to vacation and would recommend it.  

Jules & Brian 

Warning: What you read below you will probably not understand so you might want to skip it unless you were actually on this particular trip.  Oh and its very graphic too so if you take offense, again, you might want to skip it. 

And now.........A poem from the heart.................. 

There once was a man from Nantucket,HA!  Just kidden. 

I cant express how much fun I had on our trip to Hedo II,

I totally understand now why they call it the Zoo. 

On this trip I did my first body shot,

Thanks to Gerry & Eugene I found it to be hot. 

Russ bruised his ass jumping off the cliff,

He didnt do like Brian and stay stiff. 

Russ gave me a spanky with his paddle on my birthday,

All I had to say was Yeah, Russ thats the Way. 

Oh and that afternoon in the corner of the pool with that blue dolphin on the table,

Thank god it had suction to keep it stable. 

Jill cowgirled up for us all that memoriable day,

Im pretty sure when she got back to the room she got a free lay. 

Im not sure why Karrie wanted to pull my hair and put ice in my poom poom,

I know she liked me because she asked me to go to the TV room! 

Carlos didnt like it if you got in his sombrero space,

We could tell this when he got jumped by Chris and the look on Carlos face. 

Carlos is NOT a fan of snowballing,

He was trying to get out of there so fast he was practically falling. 

The snowballing reenactment by Carlos & Karrie with milk by far was the funniest shit,

I feel sorry for anyone that didnt get to see it.

Our poor fun Kelly for 2 days was missing in action,

But she has vowed to make them up, so next year we all have a coming attraction. 

The weird thing Kelly is that our Ed was missing also the same day,

Coincidence?  You be the judge, I say. 

Mmmm....someones a little competitive, Eugene,

The way you belted music trivia out made me think you may have had too much caffeine.  

When Lauren ripped her shirt and poured beer down her front in the contest,

I cant begin to tell you how much I was impressed. 

I was just happy that Lauren found her uterus,

Until it showed up in the pool, she was in distress. 

Its not Laurens fault she had the dolphin turned around,

They dont have dolphins back home in Tennessee, her stompin grounds. 

Chris and his damn orange hat and pool wood,

Made me think he was Brian trying to give it to me good. 

And oh my god Lauren yelling No No No,

While Chris was on the piano with his hands in his pants putting on a show. 

Gerry, Big G, My Ger Bear, has the gift to talk me into body shots after years of saying no,

Thanks Big G, I now have a permanent glow.   

I have a soft spot in my heart for the G Man,

Im not trying to get mushy, just wanted him to know Im a big fan.  

Christine, the master player of invisible dice,

She made them always roll for her something naughty and nice. 

Im still bitter you won the better double headed dildo,

And you even found someone to share yours with.........Ho! 

I hear no one does a piece by piece better than Michelle,

Your husband almost passed out from lust I hear tell. 

The king of tequila has to be Monty I think,

He drank a gazillion and never did sink. 

Jen and Nick were great to hang with and pretty cool,

Funny to watch all the guys search diving for Nicks glasses in the waterslide pool.

No one enjoyed their vacation as much as Steve and Charlotte it seems,

I judged this by the volume of her waterslide screams. 

And then theres Brian, my love, I had to put in time out on a stool,

For trying to sell his wife to other women in the pool! 

That catamaran trip would have been so much more fun,

Had I not drank the night before 5,000 cosmopolitans. 

Waterslide, Oh my what fun that was,

Eugene & the Tsunami won most of the applause. 

This was the funnest trip of all thanks to the great group of people we had,

I hope we meet again to act nasty and bad. 

And in closing I would just like to say,

Fucker!  Okay!

 Brian & Jules