John & Carol - July, 2005 Wet, Wild, and Wicked

So we headed to Hedo II for our 4th trip, with Dennys WWW group. Wed managed to get in just under the wire with the 14+3 program, so we had 10 days ahead of us! 

Thursday July  7th: We left Knoxville to drive to Nashville (3 hours west) in a downpour: 3 of rain, being the tail end of Tropical Storm Cindy. We had no information as to whether Hedo was even open, post-Dennis, but we were ready to take our chances. 

Friday July 8th. USAir stated up front that the Charlotte-MoBay flight would be an hour longer than usual, due to a detour east of the Bahamas to avoid the tail end of Hurricane Dennis, that had just swept along the north shore of the island. We bounced into MoBay, and breezed through immigration: there was no line at all! It took longer to walk through the maze of ropes than to clear. Of course, we then waited for 30 minutes for the luggage to arrive. Customs (nothing to declare) was nominal, and Superclubs had us on the bus in 15 minutes. The road was wet (it rained all day) but perfectly passable. The driver tried to stop at  any of the usual beer stops, but they all were still closed from Dennis. We arrived at Hedo, just after lunch closed at 3 PM. Luckily, Roberts had just opened. Carol put her business skills to work, and ROH turned into GVN (2156, next to the spa).We ate and napped, then watched them taking down the boards over the gym/spa windows. Did you know that there are pre-sunk bolt holes there, and numbered plywood sheets set to go up? 

The most amazing thing the first day (and all week): HOT WATER! Not lukewarm, not warm, but hot enough that we had to turn down the temperature. The shower did leak when we turned on the lower heads, but never when just the main one was on. 

Dinner lacked lobster (Chef Thompson said its budgeted for once a week, and they had it on the 4th  of July that week), but was excellent otherwise, including jerk conch. We watch a little of the post-dinner show, but crashed by 10, having been up since 4 AM island time. 

Saturday:

We were up at 8 AM for the wonderful Hedo breakfast. It was sunny and windy, in contrast to the rainy day before. The waters were very muddy and clouded just offshore. This was our do-nothing day (save that Carol, on her exercise-and-lose-weight regime, did an hour in the gym in the AM). Denny and other WWWers arrived, and we made name necklaces for them. There was still an appreciable lifestyle contingent from the past week, and things were rather lively in the high pool near Delroys but not nearly as much so as the same time last year. I think that Dennis, with rainy days a lot of the past week, had put a crimp in public activities. Nap, jerk chicken, dinner with Roots Explosion. Just another fun day in paradise. 

Oh, and Foxy the EC has very short hair now.<G> 

Sunday:

It was cloudy but not as windy, with a thunderstorm around 3:30. We lazed around the pool, and welcomed more WWWers with name beads. At 6 there was the WWW welcoming party at the disco, with good nibblies furnished by the kitchen, and most of us in pirate drag. (Arrrrrgh!). After dinner, the gang danced to the oldies and ended up in the nude hot tub. Carol and I had Fun in the Grotto for the first time. (Always another virginity to lose, for the creatively inclined) 

Monday

Again, it was sunny in the AM, then cloudy, then thunderstorms in the afternoon. That was the weather for the rest of the weekdays. While waiting for jerk chicken (where did the day go?) a bunch of the guys decided to earn Hedobucks playing nude volleyball. Sure, well throw one game and claim the bucks, right? Were too competitive: it was hard fought at 15-10, when we had decided on 15-0. It seems we missed some interesting fun&games in the pool, according to our spouses 

It was WWW patriotic night, and K&C reminded us that not all of us have blue in their countrys colors (pardon, colours), eh? The gang had dinner at Munasan (much improved since last year), then adjourned to the piano bar. There was a guest playing and singing, in an outstanding fashion, until Danny and the sax player came on. The piano was in better tune this trip, but the sax was so loud (good music, but just painful in volume), that we adjourned to the waterslide and then the hot tub by the main pool (nude, of course). This was where we first started interacting with another WWW sub-group, the Hashers (Were drinkers with a running problem). 

Tuesday

It was the WWW nude cat cruise in the AM. The weather started out gorgeous, and we had great fun with the waterslide on the cat at the cliffs. DO NOT go down the slide sitting up, or youll have a butt bruise; on your belly hands, first sounds scarier, but if you relax, you hit the water in a perfect dive. On the way back, however we sailed into a serious squall, with 30 foot visibility and hard pelting rain. Rather painful with no clothes on. 

Part of the gang headed for the nude hot tub to warm up; some of us went to our rooms to dry off, then the nude hot tub which we found closed. Eventually most of the gang had lunch in the main dining room (more rain), and, post-nap (*real* nap, people!) once the rain cleared up, did bingo in the nude pool, for Mardi Gras beads. This has become a summer WWW tradition, thanks to Scott and Chrissy and their waterproof bingo cards. 

It was WWW Uniform night at dinner, and the many doctors and nurses in attendance did a brisk business examining patients in the main dining room. Afterwards, we ended up in the piano bars game room, where the Hashers were playing Perv-artistry, basically charades with erotic/kinky phrases on the cards. The Old Pharts of the gang held their own against the younguns in this! 

Then PJ night, where we just did a reprise of our costumes from the last trip (chain mail for Carol, a leash to my jewelry for me) that got us 2nd place (the winners in Bondage didnt even show!) 

Wednesday. Half past vacation.

The WWWers did Hedolympics on the beach at 10:30 AM, just silly games. Lunch at Roberts, and the the Wet T-Shirt contest at 1:30, where WWWers took all three top places! All natural! No artificial ingredients! *Attitude* is what wins this event. Then the Erotic Gift Exchange in the piano bar at 4, a short nap, the repeaters party at 6 (no Burke, but management indicated that the water overhaul was essentially done, and that an air conditioning upgrade was planned next). Dinner was a Cajun theme, consistent with Mardi Gras night and a Cajun boy for the Chef (hey wait a sec we never found time to do bingo for beads this afternoon maybe tomorrow). The WWW night cat cruise left at 9 PM. Good stars, but much more crowded/noisy than last years. No romance on the back bench as a result 

We hit the hot tub at midnight, and then tried out our loot from the erotic gift exchange in the room. Yes, it glows in the dark. 

Thursday

The gang got ski boat rides over to Bloody Bay and the Office of Nature at 11 AM. This is a must-do trip! As we waded to shore, we were greeted by a local holding a live lobster, asking if we wanted lunch. We bought crafts, ate jerk lobster cooked over an open fire, and saw that white sand beach that is everyones image of what the Caribbean *should* look like. This is where they need to build Hedo IV. We should have brought swim suits and spent the afternoon there. 

Back at the resort, I did the try-out for talent night (its a bitch playing a guitar with a neck half the width that youre used to), then did nude water slide, then called pool bingo. It seems we had about 2/3 million Hedobucks to launder. 

Dinner was the gang in red togas at Pastafari, trying not to be the Too Raucous for Pastafari crew like last year. At least we didnt get kicked out. I sang Dread Island Fever at the talent show (I do need to record this for Denny), then we stripped the togas off and played nude volleyball in the main pool. 

Friday

Carol and I walked to the straw market just down the road to buy presents for family and friends, then got henna tattoos back at Hedo; there was a couple doing them all week for free as a comp deal. We mooned some of the gang as they left on the bus at 1 PM (early: Emily was due the next day). We tried to do it again at 7 PM for more of the crowd, but the heat was way too oppressive by then. It was supposed to be the Bare as You Dare theme for the WWWers at dinner, but Carol and I were the only ones of the gang in that theme. The rest had turned into Drunken people in yellow towels. Yes, it was the Gala Dinner. One of the gang ate 12 lobster tails.  

The Fluffernutters had started arriving that day, and the mood at the nude pool was turning more to PDAs that night. We tried out the small hot tub by the spa for Fun&Games instead. 

Saturday: Emily

It rained most of the day. That was Emily. From the satellite pictures, the hurricane missed to the south, and what really hit Jamaica was a tropical storm spawned off Emilys north side. As we heard CNN proclaim that Jamaica was being devastated, we watched rain, with little wind. The major difference from the thunderstorms that had been hitting us all week was that this lasted all day and evening, but with less wind. 

The big problem was that the airport was closed, and people were having trouble dealing. The beach bars and grills were closed, the boats pulled up and dismasted, the gym/spa windows boarded up, the picnic tables turned over, the lounges stacked, and the two wooden rafts anchored several hundred yards offshore. The privacy screen atop the wall by the nude pool was taken down. We were told to get things off the room floors and out of the bottom drawers, in case of flooding. Most folks either hung out in their rooms or in the main dining hall. Burke showed up hourly with weather and airport reports, and the latest hurricane satellite pictures were posted on the activities board. The ECs kept something happening on the main stage, and in the evening the usual entertainment took place. A pretty low-key day in all. Many of us drank hurricanes as the default drink (the main bar kept normal hours). 

There were people with cancelled flights being told that the next available flight was Wednesday, 4 days later (including Denny & Sharon). One couple was told *11* days (they eventually tossed their tickets and rebooked for Wednesday, for big bucks). 

Heavy lightning to the west off shore that night, but nothing nearby (unlike earlier in the week) 

Sunday.

This was the only day of the trip where there was no rain! There was a butterfly every cubic yard beautiful and a mosquito every cubic inch. No fun. Otherwise, save for gradually putting the resort back to its usual condition all day, it was a low key, normal day. Two couples from our home town arrived for their rookie trip, and we talked with them for awhile., though we mostly just hung out at the nude pool, and packed before dinner time 

The two of us had reservations at the Reggae Caf (formerly the Scotch Bonnet, now at the prude grill) for dinner. We showed up, and were told by the grill staff that it was closed because of rain (the ONLY day all week it didnt rain!). This was a real disappointment; Id really been looking forward to the Jamaican food. We managed to talk our way into Pastafari, and had a nice dinner. Thanks to the maitre d! . Later, Foxy the EC told us that the Reggae Cafe *wasnt* closed, just moved inside next to Munasan. I wish the staff had bothered to tell us. This was the one real foul-up by the resort all week. Early bedtime; we were burned out. 

Monday.

7 AM bus with our Canadian friends and the Hashers. It took close to 2 hours to reach the airport, due to a traffic jam just outside MoBay. The trip home was uneventful (no more hurricanes). 

The Good:

Hot water.

Best maid service ever.

Lots of friends

Hot water

Office of Nature

Did I mention the hot water? 

The Bad

The bummer at Reggae Caf

One vacation = three hurricanes 

The Ugly.

One single male, staggering drunk every time I saw him, 7 AM to midnight all week. He tried to talk his way into Pastafari in bare feet, no shirt, and soaking wet blue jeans while smoking. The Maitre d handled it well. 

One obnoxious couple, drunk and boasting of their wealth, trying to impress people at the nude pool. Even Ray-Ray was put out by them. 

John & Carol