LIKE SO MANY NORTHEASTERNERS, WE WATCHED WITH DISMAY AS OUR FIRST WINTER STORM CREPT UP ON US JUST AS WE WERE SCHEDULED TO GO HOME TO HEDO.  KEV AND I WOULD HAVE WALKED IF NECESSARY OK MAYBE SWUM WE MISSED OUR RETURN TRIP IN 2002 AND WE WERE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO BE BACK IN JAMAICA.  OUR FLIGHT PLAN WAS FROM HARTFORD TO PHILLY TO MOBAY AND THE MORE WE WATCHED THE WEATHER, THE MORE WE KNEW THAT PHILLY WAS GOING TO BE A PROBLEM.  BRADLEY AIRPORT IN HARTFORD SELDOM CLOSES BUT THAT DAMN WEATHER GUY KEPT CIRCLING PHILLY AS THE CENTER OF THE DOUBLE-PUNCH STORM.  SURE ENOUGH SATURDAY MORNING WE WOKE UP & CALLED THE AIRPORT TO LEARN THAT OUR FLIGHT WAS CANCELLED! WELL WE WERENT GOING TO TAKE THAT LYING DOWN WE  DROVE THERE, DROPPED OFF THE CAR, AND WENT TO THE US AIR DESK TO DEMAND ACTION.  WE WERE VERY PLEASANTLY SURPRISED TO FIND THAT US AIR WAS READY TO GO THE EXTRA MILE TO KEEP US HAPPY THEY HAD A CONNECTION TO CHARLOTTE LEAVING IN 20 MINUTES COULD WE GET RIGHT TO THE GATE ??? WELL DUH !!!! SMALL DELAY WHEN THEY X-RAYED KEVINS CHECKED BAG SOMETHING SUSPICIOUS THERE !!! CAN WE PLEASE UNLOCK IT ??  THEY WENT DIRECTLY TO THE SUSPICIOUS COMPARTMENT OF HIS DIVE BAG AND PULLED OUT THE ZIPLOCK BAG FULL OF DILDOS AND VIBRATORS ! OOOPPSS NO PROBLEM SIR ..  BUT THEN THEY SENT WORD AHEAD AND WHEN WE GOT TO THE GATE, WE WERE PULLED ASIDE FOR A MORE THOUROUGH SEARCH OF OUR CARRYONS BUNCH OF PERVERTS !!

ANYWAY WE WERE SOON DE-ICED AND ON OUR WAY TO CHARLOTTE HAD A DELAY IN CHARLOTTE BUT FOUND WE WERE UPGRADED TO FIRST CLASS FROM CHARLOTTE TO MOBAY (SWEET !!)  THAT WINTER STORM ENDED UP BEING A BLESSING FOR US 1)FIRST CLASS  2)WE HAD BEEN CONCERNED ABOUT CUSTOMS BECAUSE WE HAD QUITE A LOT OF TOYS FOR KIDS BUT ALL THE PLANES WERE DELAYED AND A WHOLE BUNCH ARRIVED AT ONCE, SO CUSTOMS WAS JUST SHOVING PEOPLE THRU , AND 3) MOST OF THE CROWD THAT HAD BEEN SCHEDULED TO ARRIVE IN THE MORNING ENDED UP COMING IN AT THE SAME TIME WE DID, SO WE HAD  A CROWD ON THE BUS, INCLUDING OUR FRIENDS GEORGE AND GAIL FROM CAPE COD, DANIMAL, AND JIM AND TRICIA .. LIFE WAS GOOD !! WE WERE HOME !!

OK SO WE HAD A MINOR PROBLEM ON THE BUS WE WERE STOPPED FOR CONSTRUCTION AND WITH GAIL IN THE LEAD, WE UM. ENCOURAGED THE BUS DRIVER TO IGNORE THE FLAG PERSON AND JUST GO AHEAD !! WE DONT WANT TO WAIT !! THE COP AT THE OTHER END OF THE CONSTRUCTION FOUND THAT VERY UNAMUSING AND WE ENDED UP COOLING OUR HEELS FOR ABOUT A HALF HOUR WHILE THE DRIVER GOT A LECTURE AND A TICKET.  SORRY ABOUT THAT, GUY.  WE ALL CHIPPED IN TO PAY THE TICKET.  WE HAD TO ADMIRE THE BALLSY GUY WHO KNOCKED ON ALL THE BUS WINDOWS SELLING SMOKE WHILE THE COP WAS AT THE FRONT OF THE BUS YELLING AT THE DRIVER.  

FINALLY AT HEDO, CHECK IN WAS PRETTY FAST CONSIDERING ALL THE PEOPLE THAT CAME IN AT ONCE .. AND WHEN THEY EVER GAVE US OUR ROOM NUMBER, WE JUST ABOUT DANCED !! 2279 !! UPSTAIRS SECOND TO LAST ROOM LOOKING OVER THE POOL WOW !  YEAH ITS NOISY BUT WHO CARES ??  GOT NEKKID AND DOWN TO THE POOL WE WENT FOUND PARTYMON/NANCY AND RUPE/PATTY OUR FELLOW CT FRIENDS AND GOT THE BAD NEWS THE HOTTUB IS BROKEN. OH NO !! ALSO FOUND OUT JOHN & RENEE WERE STUCK IN CHICAGO WE HAD FIGURED THEY WERE SAFE FROM THE STORM BECAUSE THEY WERE COMING IN FROM ARIZONA BUT ISNT IT STRANGE HOW THINGS WORK OUT ? OK SO NO HOTTUB TOY PARTY TONIGHT DAMMIT.  GUESS WELL GO TO DINNER AND VERONICAS. VERONICAS WAS GREAT LAST TIME WE WERE AT HEDO WE WERENT WITH WWW AND MISSED A LOT OF FUN . QUINTON AND HIS PENIS PUPPET, DANIMAL SINGING.  HAD TO GO CRASH ANYWAY AFTER THE PIANO BAR , SO WE DIDNT MISS THE HOTTUB ALL THAT MUCH. 

YOULL ALL HAVE TO BEAR WITH ME BECAUSE AS YOUVE DISCOVERED, IM AN ENDLESSLY HAPPY PERSON . I CAN ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT EVERYTHING AND NOTHING SHORT OF DEATH IS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME UNHAPPY .. WHEN PEOPLE COMPLAIN, I TELL THEM WHATS GOOD ABOUT WHATEVER HAPPENED . MY DAUGHTER SAYS OH SHUT UP MOM A LOT TO WHICH I SMILE .   SO THIS TRIP REPORT IS GOING TO BE ALL SUNSHINE .. I MAY GET THE DAYS MIXED UP BUT WHO CARES ?? IF YOU ARENT UP FOR SMILES AND HAPPY, BEST YOU STOP READING NOW !!!!!!!!!!! 

SUNDAY BREAKFAST (NO CHARLIE ITS CHURCH DAY) TO THE GYM FOR 20 MINUTES ON THE TREADMILL (DID THAT EVERYDAY EXCEPT FRIDAY IM OLD !!! I GOTTA WORK AT THIS SHIT !!) DOWN TO THE POOL.  HOW CAN ANYONE COMPLAIN WHEN YOU JUST LEFT A SNOWSTORM AND ITS 85 DEGREES AND YOURE NAKED IN THE POOL WITH 200 FRIENDS ????  AROUND 1:30 STARTED WONDERING WHERE KEVIN HAD GONE.  WELL WE HAD GOTTEN THESE 32 OZ MUGS AND , ME I FILLED MINE WITH ICE WATER SO WHENEVER I GOT A DRINK AT THE BAR,  IT WAS A DRINK-SIZED DRINK, AND I SIPPED WATER IN BETWEEN.  BUT IT SEEMS KEV HAD FILLED HIS WITH RUM PUNCH, DRANK IT, FILLED IT AGAIN, DRANK HALF, AND WHEN HE GOT OUT OF THE POOL HE FOUND THAT SOMEONE HAD STARTED SPINNING THE RESORT.  I FOUND HIM ON THE BED IN THE ROOM, WITH ONE LEG ON THE FLOOR (OH YEAH WE KNOW THAT TRICK) AND HE WAS OUT FOR THE DAY . AH WELL ILL CHECK ON YA, HONEY, EVERY SO OFTEN SEE YA LATER. 

AND THEN !! THAT MOMENT THAT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER  !!!!!!! SOMEBODY SAID LETS GO MOON QUINTON AS HES LEAVING AND WE DID RAN INTO STORM AND DENISE CHECKING IN LOOKING GOOD AND THEN SOMEONE SAID THE WATER SLIDE !!!!!  OMG ! FOR THE NEXT FIVE DAYS I COULDNT GET ENOUGH OF THAT THING THANK YOU THANK YOU TO WHOEVER DRAGGED ME THERE THAT FIRST TIME.

 NICE WELCOMING PARTY THAT NIGHT. PRAYED AND PRAYED PRAYED THAT WED GET THE FREE DAYS PRIZE, BUT OH WELL WE JUST WERENT WORTHY.  AND AFTER THE PARTY THE WATER SLIDE OF COURSE !  

MONDAY BROUGHT THE RETURN OF CHARLIE. IT WAS SO WONDERFUL TO REVISIT ALL THE GREAT STAFF CHARLIE, ROBERT, ASHLEY, RAYRAY.  AND THEN THERE WAS THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST SO MANY BEAUTIFUL BREASTS AND BODS SO HARD TO CHOOSE BUT I HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART FOR DENISE ALWAYS.   THEN OFF ON THE MMT TIMES SQUARE AND 3DIVES I WAS FEELING AWFULLY OVER-DRESSED AT 3DIVES SO PARTYMON ASKED THE OWNERS IF WE COULD GO TOPLESS AND THEY SAID YES THATS ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT RUPE AND I NEEDED.  GOT TO MOON THE SANDALS BOAT A COUPLE TIMES. THEN CAT CAME TO ME AND ASKED IT I WOULD CONSIDER TAKING OFF MY CLOSTHES ALONG WITH A COUPLE OTHER FEMALES AND MOONING THE SUNSET.  WELL I DUNNO IM PRETTY SHY .. OK !!! LOOKING AT THE PICTURES I SEE THAT MAYBE I MISUNDERSTOOD I THOUGHT SHE WANTED ME NEKKID !!!! AND I WAS THE ONLY TOTALLY NEKKID ONE !! IM SO EMBARRASSED (BLUSH) . NOT !!!!!!! I WAS KINDA SAD THAT WE ENDED UP IN MANY BUSES INSTEAD OF JUST TWO KINDA KILLED THE BUS COMPETITION FOR US . BUT I WAS KINDA HAPPY THAT WE  HAD ONE SEAT TOO FEW AND GAIL HAD TO SIT ON MY LAP FOR THE WHOLE TRIP (FONDLE FONDLE DROOL DROOL) . AND BACK AT THE HOTTUB THAT NIGHT, VIRGIN INITIATION .. EXCELLENT !!  I LOOKED FORWARD TO THAT FOR MONTHS .. I DONT HAVE MANY CHANCES TO BE A VIRGIN!!  AND IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW, I HAVE AN ABSOLUTE LOVE OF BREASTS. I COULD JUST S**K THOSE ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT.  ITS ONE OF THOSE THINGS KEVIN AND I HAVE IN COMMON. 

TUESDAY CAT CRUISE .. POOR STORM !! I WAS HEADED OUT TO SNORKLE AND RAN INTO HIM IN AGONY COMING BACK OUT OF THE WATER.  OUR HEARTS WENT OUT TO HIM ALL WEEK FOR THE PAIN HE WAS IN .. BUT IT DIDNT SEEM TO SLOW HIM ALL THAT MUCH !! HELL THAT LUCKY BASTARD HAD DENISE TENDING TO HIM CANT FEEL ALL THAT SORRY FOR HIM !! 

ONE OF THE JOYS OF THE POOL WAS THE DAILY VOLLEYBALL GAMES. I FOUND A PARTNER IN A GUY NAMED BEAR FROM TEXAS AND WE ROCKED!! UNFORTUNATELY BEAR GOT INTO SOME OF JIMS JUG ON TUESDAY AND THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL !! I WAS SITTING ON A LOUNGER WATCHING BEAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE POOL STARTING TO WOBBLE AND YELLED TO KEV TO MAKE SURE HE DIDNT DO UNDER BEARS WIFE HUSSY GOT THINGS IN CONTROL QUICKLY MAN SHE MAY BE TINY BUT SHE KICKS HIS ASS !! AND WITH JIM AND NISSAS HELP, BEAR GOT TUCKED AWAY FOR A NAP.

AT NIGHT, THE PJ PARTY I GUESS WE WON SOMETHING BUT WERENT THERE TO GET IT MY CFM PUMPS KILLED MY FEET !!!!!!!  I TRIED TAKING THEM OFF BUT THE FLOOR WAS ALL WET AND GOOEY SO WE HAD TO BLOW ON OUT OF THERE.  BUT ITS ALL GOOD ! BECAUSE WE STILL HAD THE WATER SLIDE !!!!!!!! 

WEDNESDAY BIG DAY FOR KEV AND ME.  DID THE EROTIC GIFT EXCHANGE AND THAT WAS A BLAST.  WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT DUCK WOULD BE SUCH A PRIZE !! AND I HOPE CAT ENJOYED THE DOUBLE DONG WE CONTRIBUTED AND SHE GOT.  STUFFING THE STOCKINGS FOR THE KIDS WAS VERY FULFILLING THANKS TO DIANE FOR HEADING THAT UP EVERY YEAR.  SUPERCHARGED ATMOSPHERE IN THE HOTTUB THAT EVENING . AND BACK AT THE ROOM BEFORE DINNER, AFTER EXERCISING THAT SUPERCHARGED FEELING, KEVIN ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM . AAWWWWW. I SAID YES.  I WAS TOTALLY SHOCKED ID GIVEN UP ON THAT IDEA A COUPLE YEARS AGO, HE WAS SO MARRIAGE-PHOBIC.  EARLIER IN THE WEEK, SOME PEOPLE ASKED HOW LONG WED BEEN TOGETHER (OVER 5 YEARS) WHICH ALWAYS LEADS TO WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED? AND MY PAT ANSWER IS THAT HED TAKEN THE VACCINE ! SO I WAS BLOWN AWAY.  AS IF THIS TRIP WASNT GREAT ALREADY !!! IF I DIED THEN, THEY WOULD HAVE NEEDED DYNAMITE TO GET THE SMILE OFF MY FACE.  

AND WERE DOWN TO ONLY 2 DAYS LEFT BEFORE TRAVEL DAY . THE TIME GOES BY SO FAST.  KEV AND I ARE ALREADY TALKING ABOUT 10 DAYS NEXT YEAR AND ASKING DENNY ABOUT RATES.  

SOME OF THE OTHER GREAT MEMORIES FROM THE WEEK: 

GEORGETTE AND ME PRESSING OUR NEKKID BREASTS AGAINST THE GYM WINDOWS TO FLASH SHERMAN HELMSLY AS HE PRACTICED HIS DANCE ROUTINE.  BUT BETTER YET WAS TWO DAYS LATER, WHEN GEORGE RAN UP TO ME AND SAID REMEMBER WHEN WE FLASHED THAT GUY IN THE GYM? DO YOU KNOW WHO IT WAS???  OH MAN LOVE YOU GEORGE! 

DENISE AND HER BABY BOTTLE  FULL OF BAILEYS YUMMMM 

VERONICAS EVERY NIGHT WHAT A PARTY !! AND WATCHING THAT GIRL GET BLOWN AWAY BY THE SLUTS SINGING HER SONG BETTER THAN SHE DID WAS GREAT OUR THANKS TO EVERYBODY WHO CONTRIBUTED TO THE ENTERTAINMENT - OK HERES MY PROMISE NEXT YEAR IM GOING TO SING, (KEVIN IS CRINGING HEY! THE IMPORTANT THING ISNT HOW GOOD YOUR VOICE IS!! I HOPE)  AND IM GOING TO DO THE PIECE-BY-PIECE . 

THE SEX SWING !!!!! WOOOOOWOOOOOO !! YA KNOW, ALL US GIRLS PRETTY MUCH CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET INTO THAT (OH! ITS LIKE THE STIRRUPS IN THE OB/GYN OFFICE) BUT WATCHING JOHN TRYING TO GET IN THERE WAS UTTERLY PRICELESS !!!!!!! WE GOTTA GET US ONE OF THEM THINGS ! 

DID I MENTION THE WATER SLIDE ?? BILL (OF BILL & PATTY) WAS UNBELIEVABLE ! HE WOULD SHOOT OUT OF THAT THING AND SKIP ACROSS THE POOL WE THOUGHT HE WAS GUNNA END UP INSIDE THE DISCO.  AND THE GUY WHO WAS A SLIDE VIRGIN THAT WAS IN FRONT OF ME FRIDAY NIGHT I LOVED HIS QUIET BUT HEART-FELT OH SHIT AS HE STARTED DOWN .. 

LYING BY THE POOL WITH CHUCK & LYNN AND URSULA & KEITH.  IF I HAD TO CHOOSE A WAY TO SPEND ETERNITY, I COULD BE HAPPY JUST DOING THAT WHAT GREAT PEOPLE !! OF COURSE ID HAVE TO SNEAK INTO THE POOL AND SPEND SOME TIME WITH GEORGE & GAIL TOO.  SURELY WE CAN WORK THIS ALL OUT !!  LEAVING THE 6 OF YOU MADE ME CRY ON SATURDAY.   AND ALL THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT I DIDNT KNOW ON 12/6/2003 BUT THAT NOW I CANT LIVE WITHOUT THEM.

LOUIE YOU ARE AWESOME ! DJ. CHRISTIE (NORM!) . DANIMAL.  WE ARE COUNTING THE DAYS TILL NEXT WE MEET. 

SO FRIDAY THE EVICTION NOTICE ..

AND SATURDAY BACK TO COLD AND SNOW.

I NEVER WORRY ABOUT CUSTOMS IN THE USA BECAUSE  AS EMTS , KEV AND I ARE DRUG-FREE.  BUT WE LAND IN PHILLY AND HAVE TO GO THRU CUSTOMS AND WHEN I GO UP TO THE COUNTER (IVE GOT MY HARLEY GIRL SHIRT ON) THE CUSTOMS GUY SAYS TO ME

HELLO HARLEY GIRL

DID YOU BRING ANY PLANTS OR FOOD BACK FROM JAMAICA, HON?

DID YOU GET IN ANY TROUBLE WHILE YOU WERE DOWN THERE?

ANY TROUBLE WITH THE JAMAICAN POLICE WHILE YOU WERE THERE?

KEVIN IS LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF AND IM STARTING TO SWEAT

WHAT THE HELL ???? DO I LOOK DANGEROUS ?????

IM A GRANDMOTHER FOR HEAVENS SAKE !!!!!!!!!! 

GREAT ENDING TO A GREAT TRIP . SEE YOU ALL 12/4/2004 IF NOT SOONER ! 

TRISH  (TRISH & KEV)