Don & Colette - December, 2003 Wet, Wild, and Wicked

Colette and Don's Trip to Hedonism II

Colette's Very Personal Account

Wednesday December 10th
The trip to Jamaica was uneventful. On the bus to the resort I tried to focus on the Jamaican scenery while wild thoughts raced through my mind:

"What if I'm afraid to get naked"?
"What if Don's afraid to get naked"
"What if someone grabs my naked ass"?
"What if someone grabs Don's naked ass"
"What if I'm too shy to talk to people and they think I'm rude and unfriendly"
"What if I want to spend the whole time cringing in my room sucking my thumb"?
What if, what if, what if...
Luckily I quickly exhausted myself obsessing about all these unfounded fears. The bus stopped so we could get drinks and I found something else to obsess about: an injured dog, hobbling around with a crippled gangrened leg.

We arrived at the resort around 2:30. A porter gave us a lift to our room. On the way, I spotted my first naked couple and had to fight back a nervous desire to giggle. Don, sitting in the back of the truck seemed calm and unfazed.

When we got to the room, I decided the best thing to do was to get naked and go the beach. Isn't that one of the reasons why we were there? With me wrapped in a sarong, and Don wearing his cargo shorts we made our way to the beach. The day was overcast and the beach was not too crowded. I felt suddenly inexplicably calm and serene. Off came the sarong and into the ocean I went. "Hmm, I like being naked, I thought." I had hoped that's how I'd feel, but one never knows for sure until they are there. Don shed his shorts and joined me in the ocean where we splashed around a little until we decided it was kind of cold and got out. We made our way to the hot tub and met some of the WWW gang. Being somewhat tired, our first evening was quiet. We had dinner with Diane and Jake and made an early night of it.

Thursday, December 11th
We woke up feeling rested after a good nights sleep. Don and I had breakfast with Lance and Michelle. Then met with Diane, Denny, Steve and Sabrina to go to a Jamaican school to distribute Christmas gifts. It was interesting and thought provoking to see a small slice of the "real" Jamaica. Looking at their humble homes, I thought about my large house (partially empty after my separation) and wondered why I struggle so to continue making those big payments on that big house that I don't really need. Surely this desire to keep my home is driven more by ego than need. How many Jamaican's could live comfortably and happily in my house? After a 20-minute ride up a winding, bumpy road we arrived at the school. What a great experience! The principal, taking obvious pride in her school, gave us a tour. The children sang us Christmas songs and we passed out the presents. Coming from a country of almost obscene abundance, it was heartwarming and refreshing to see simple gifts like yo-yos and soap bubbles bring sheer delight to these children. I was impressed by how well behaved and happy they were. I had braced myself to be stoic and bravely put on a happy face for these "less fortunate" children. Leaving the school, I found myself questioning, "Are these children really less fortunate because they don't have TV, game boys, and Nintendo or are our children less fortunate because they do?"


Don and I spent the afternoon on the beach. Inspired by seeing Storm give Denise a foot massage, Don treated me to one. (I'm a lucky girl.) Later I attempted the trapeze. It was both thrilling and scary and I enjoyed it, but wasn't able to complete the class because of my asthma, which was aggravated by the humidity and physical exertion.


We then decided to try to get Don in his "authentic" Toga. He was looking extremely hot in it, which was sexy because it kept falling off, despite the fact that we diligently followed the easy 15 steps to tying a toga that we had printed off the Internet. He decided next time to just wear two dinner napkins belted around his waist. Of course I enthusiastically support any outfit more revealing.

We loved the part of the show where the EC, Winston, ordered the dancers to: "Walk for me, pose for me, kneel for me....". After dinner and the toga show we left and checked out the disco (didn't stay) and decided to walk along the beach. We walked down to the dock where we saw the biggest bug I've ever seen in my life, almost as big as my hand. (We have the picture to prove it.) We ended our evening making love on the beach under the stars with the sound of the ocean in the background.


Friday, December 12th
"Wake up! Can you believe we slept till noon?" These were the first words I upon waking. Later I found out Don was pulling my leg because it was only 8:30 in the morning. (Look up the word "gullible" in the dictionary and there's a picture of me.) I was cool with that because when I discovered his joke I just felt like I'd been given a bonus 2 hours. We spent the day on the beach and later went snorkeling on a coral reef. Seeing an entirely different world of exotic sea life is an almost spiritual experience. The world doesn't revolve around me.... I am a tiny, insignificant speck in a world filled with spectacular beauty of which I have just been privileged to witness a small sample.... Okay I'll stop my philosophical effervescing now.

On the way to dinner Don spotted the smallest lizard I've ever seen in my life! (Wow, within a 24-hour period seeing both the largest bug and the smallest lizard!) We ate dinner in the dining room, just the two of us. We were treated to a Jamaican "tin can" band, which was wonderful. These young Jamaicans were extremely talented dancers as well. They have a way of shaking their butts that doesn't even seem humanly possible, almost as though there is a vibrator installed in their bodies. I vowed that I would learn how to vibrate my butt before our next trip back to Hedo. Later we saw "The Human Contortionist" who made me cringe just watching him.... and I thought I was talented because I can put my leg behind my neck! Then there was the juggling act, a trapeze show and the snake sallower that was imperious to sharp nails.

The party moved to the beach for another trapeze show and a fire eating medicine man that dragged me into the circle and made me dance with fire. I decided I like dancing with fire and I'm very glad I was wearing my leopard print bikini top and ridiculously short tan shorts, because if you are going to dance with fire and you have to be wearing clothes, that's definitely the outfit to wear! I got picked on again for the dance contest by the pool - I'm sure it was the leopard print bikini top. I did my best with my sixty-second, but decided not to turn around and show the audience my butt, for fear of falling in the pool. I knew I didn't stand a chance because most of the other contestants were native Jamaican girls with magical vibrating butts, but I had fun anyway. They tried to organize a male dance contest, dragging Don up as the first contestant, but no other guys were brave enough to have a go against Don. So, in my opinion he won, hands down, without even having to bust a move. I'm sure they all just took one look at Don and said, "This guy is so sexy we don't stand a chance" and conceded to him.

After doing our own contortionist act in the bedroom...we went down to check out the sex swing. We had great fun hanging from it in various positions, and discovered about 10 different ways one could use it to have sex...not sure if any of them were the "correct" usage of the swing.

Then, I got the urge to climb the tree the sex swing was hanging from. After all, I've never climbed a tree naked. Feeling kind of like a Bonobo monkey ( ) I scampered up the tree, while Don watched with great concern from the ground, expecting at any moment to have to scrape my brains off the rocks below the tree when I fell. (I didn't fall, but it was harder coming down then going up...don't cat's have that problem sometimes?).

All and all it was a great evening. Oh, also the seventh month anniversary of when Don and I first started dating. Having I really only known him seven months?

Saturday, December 13th
This morning we actually did sleep in. That's OK, isn't that what vacations are for? We had a leisurely breakfast, joined by Storm and Denise (Denise looking perky, Storm looking dazed from the night before) We took a break from the beach and a group of us walked down to the market place to buy souvenirs for our children. I know we both felt a little overwhelmed by the aggressive sales approach we encountered there. Don being the incredibly nice guy that he is, felt the need to buy something from every shop we visited. (Including some cute earrings for me) I found a Jamaican willing to carve me a lizard out of ironwood and we left him a deposit. We went back to the resort where I took a little nap while Don went down the water slide naked.

Later we had a couple's massage, which was lovely despite a cheesy meditation tape playing in the background. Nobody seemed to know where it was coming from or why it was playing which added to our amusement. "Breath deeply...find that quiet place of inner power," the mysterious voice intoned. I had to fight back a wild urge to start laughing uncontrollably, which isn't really appropriate during massage, which made me tense, which was somewhat counterproductive because aren't massages supposed to be relaxing? For some reason any time I have to suppress my giggles, I'm a little prone to hysteria, but luckily Don would make humorous comments from time to time which allowed me to feel entitled to giggle out loud which alleviated my tension. How is it he always seems to say or do the perfect thing?

We caught a bit of the fashion show in the main Dinning Room before having a "quaint" dinner at Pasta-Faries (sp). We went back to the room to give my lungs a time to recover in the air-conditioned room. We had promised Jake, Diane, Storm and Denise to stop by the piano bar, but when we arrived they weren't there. So, we danced at the disco for a while. I had the good fortune to run into Dona (an entertainment coordinator) at the disco who taught me the "Jamaican Grind" (Now if I could just learn the vibrating butt move)

We capped the evening off in our room with the "best sex ever." I found it that it was "our best sex ever" the next day after 20 of our closest new friends at Hedo came to me and said "Don said you guys had your best sex ever last night." (Just teasing, Don J)

Sunday, December 14th
After breakfast we walked back to the market to claim my lizard. Don and I had a memorable conversation on the way:
Don: "Can I borrow a twenty?" (I hand it over and he throws a fifty in my bag)
Colette: "What's that for?"
Don: "That's for the twenty." (I like his math)
Colette: "What's the twenty for?"
Don: "That's for the lizard."
Colette: "You're crazy, you borrow a twenty to pay for MY lizard and pay me back with a fifty."
Don: "Don't argue with me."
Colette: "I'm leaving Hedo with more cash than I came with."
Don: "How cool is that? Now we definitely have to come back."
I think to myself, for at least the hundredth time in the last few days, how lucky I am to have this man in my life.
We collected the lizard (am very happy with it), went back to the resort and finished our travel arrangements for our return.

The rest of the day we spent on the beach. One thing I noticed about Hedo is that I kept thinking that "This is the best moment ever, we can't possibly top this"...but then we would. I remember overhearing people talking about being depressed that they were leaving. I had a wonderful time at Hedo and I would have loved to stay longer, but I wasn't depressed to be leaving. I knew Don and I were closer than we were before. I knew that we had felt passion there, stronger than anything we had experienced before. I was sure we were leaving knowing each other better than we had before. However, I wasn't sad to be leaving, because I knew the real magic of Hedo was in it's ability to bring out the magic that's already there inside each of us, and that we were bringing that back home with us.

I'll never forget our last moments at Hedonism on the beach, Don and I lying in the sand, at the ocean's edge, in each other's arms, kissing each other and the only thing that existed in that moment was the two of us and the love we felt for each other.

I must say that being the somewhat shy, introverted person that I am, a big part of me wished that we weren't hooking up with the WWW group. It's not that I had anything against the group, I was just worried about having to make friends with people and making the effort to relate to people I didn't know...something that's not easy for me. However, Don was excited about the idea of meeting new people at Hedo, so wanting to please him I decided to put forth an effort to get to know these people.

I am so glad I did.
I can't help but think the little effort I put out was rewarded tenfold. If not for the WWW group, we would have missed the experience of visiting the Jamaican school. If not for the WWW group we wouldn't have watched with amused concern, Storm stumble on to the bus, in an alcohol induced daze. If not for the WWW group I wouldn't have met Denny, Diane, Jake, Storm and Denise, Don and Denise, Steve and Sabrina, Lance and Michelle and many others. If it wasn't for the WWW group, Sabrina and I wouldn't have treated Don and Steve to the view of us walking up the stairs of the plane in our Hedonism II shorts with Don behind us saying, "Walk for us, Step for Us." I look forward to seeing this group again next year.

Well, our trip didn't end there...Halfway into the plane trip I got cold in my Hedonism II shorts. In a Hedo-inspired act of defiance I didn't bother going to the bathroom to change into my jeans. I'm just glad I saved the nice, sexy black thong for the plane trip home.


See you all next year