Hazel & Jaime WWW Winter 2001 Trip Report  

Jaime flew into New York from San Francisco the night before we were going to fly to Jamaica together.  We got up before the crack of dawn on December 6th to catch our international flight at JFK.  At the airport we ran into Steve & Nancy and Hedo Bob.  

After a brief delay at JFK due to a minor mechanical problem, we arrived at Montego Bay about an hour late. We did the usual Immigrations, Baggage Claim and Customs clearance, and then we rode over TimAir with Steve, Nancy and Bob to catch our air taxi to Negril.  At TimAir we met T.Wayne and Dennis for the first time.  A short fight over to Negril and we were back home at Hedo ya mon!!!  

We arrived at Hedo a couple of days before the majority of the WWW crowd arrived.  Check-in was a breeze. Our prude ocean view room was ready right away, and after we dropped off our stuff in the room we strolled over to the prude bar to say hello to my favorite bartender, Paulette.  Her warm smile always makes my day!  And so do her Hummingbirds. No one makes them better than she does.   

Our first day was pretty calm and relaxing.  After checking out the construction for a few minutes we went over to stake out a sunny spot on the nude beach.  We munched out on Robert's grilled cheese and fries since we missed lunch in the main dining room, said hello to our good friend, Augustus, and relaxed for the rest of the day.  The first night was an early night for us, since Jaime had been travelling non-stop for two days.  I can't even remember if we ate dinner that night.  

By Saturday (December 8th) the whole WWW contingent swooped down on the resort like a big tornado.  Even though we had attended the WWW Winter trip the year before, we didn't really know many of the people who were regulars.  This year we definitely participated in more of the activities and met a whole lot of people in this fun-loving group.  Wow!  Did we have a good time?  You bet your ass we did!   

The weather was very decent all week.  It rained one afternoon for a short while, and we had a sun shower another day for a few minutes, but otherwise the weather was sunny and hot all week.  

The Daily Grind  

We soon settled into a daily routine that was anything but boring.  We'd have breakfast and hit the beach by 11 AM. Jaime spent most of his time in the water because he doesn't like to bake in the sun like I do.  I concentrated on being a lazy bum, trying to get a really good tan.  We would usually have lunch from Robert's grill.  The beef patties were really good the first couple of days, but they soon ran out and were unavailable for the rest of the week.  The burgers were much improved, and the grilled cheese with tomato and bacon and fries were fantastic.  I remembered to bring my own ketchup packets from home, but some very generous folks brought down a couple of big squeeze bottles of Heinz for all to share.  

Afternoons were spent in the pool where we would have fun goofing around with our WWW pals.  At 4:00 every day there was nude volleyball.  Jaime played quite a few games that week.  Since I am not very athletically inclined I was recruited into being the official "Sand Girl" for most of the games I attended.  I got to wipe the sand off of anyone who fell in the sand.  It was a dirty job, but someone had to do it.  A special thanks to Phyllis for helping me out when the job became too demanding ;-)   

One afternoon everyone was anxious to begin the daily nude volleyball game, but the ball was missing.  So we went over to the prude beach to steal the volleyball away from the prudes.  We all walked over there on the pretense of challenging them to a game.  Then Coach Dennis (a.k.a. Superman) got a hold of the ball and ran like a bat out of hell back to the nude beach.  Some of the prudes were actually good sports about it and came over to the nude beach and played with the nudies.  With the encouragement of some of the cheerleaders on the sidelines I tried (unsuccessfully) to strip one of the prude players of his shorts.  I had to wipe the sand off of Duck's pecker, and the prude guy asked me to wipe of his leg.  Of course, I had to oblige so I went over to him on my knees and wiped the sand off his shins. Then I grabbed a hold of his waistband and tried to pull off his shorts, but the drawstring in his the waistband was pulled very tight.  Shit!  This guy dragged me on my knees across the sand before I could let go of his shorts.  When reinforcements arrived to try to help me, the guy took off running!  We scared the crap out of him LOL!  

I'd like to apologize to all you fine volleyball players for the couple of days I was otherwise engaged with massages and manicures, making myself unavailable to wipe off your sandy body parts.  Also, I apologize to anyone who was upset when a couple of times I earned more Hedo bucks as a Sand Girl than you did as players tee hee :- )  

Post-volleyball was usually spent on the beach waiting for the sun to set and for the jerk chicken and fish to be ready.  Then it would be time to hit the hot tub for a pre-dinner soak and some more shenanigans with the WWW crowd.  

WWW Stuff  

We took Partymon's Magical Mystery tour on Monday afternoon after the wet T-shirt contest.  We packed 60 people onto two buses and off we went.  The first stop was Margaritaville where we all had a few drinks.  Some of the most adventurous members of the group swam out to the trampoline in the water and did some nude tumbling and jumping, heedless of the protests from the Margaritaville management.  Oh well.  After they swam back and put their clothes back on we went to our next stop, the shopping center in Negril.  We all dispersed and hit the shops, bringing back souvenirs, booze, etc.  After everyone shopped 'til they dropped it was time to make our way to Rick's Caf for more drinks and to hopefully see a pretty sunset and some cliff diving.  Unfortunately the sunset was disappointing, but the drinks were good and the company was lots of fun.  Soon it was getting dark and we had to get back on our buses for the last stop of the tour Jenny's for those who wanted to pick up some brownies.   

On the return trip to the hotel the people on our MMT bus decided it would be fun to walk into Hedo naked so we all began to strip.  It was such a riot seeing all the clothes go flying off each person.  Steve, Nancy, Diane, Karen, David, Colleen, Randy, Cheryl, Dennis, Jaime and I, and everyone who else's names I've forgotten (please, please, please forgive me) all filed out of the bus at Hedo and really got a kick out of the looks on the faces of our fellow WWW'ers from the other bus.  It was especially funny to see Rupe (the most hard-core nudist I think I've ever met) get off the bus in his shorts and shirt.  Unfortunately the impact we had hoped to make was diminished because we arrived at Hedo before dinner, at around 6:30 PM, so there was practically no one in the lobby or the dining room when we arrived.  Sigh.  

We went out one night to dinner at Xtabi at the invitation of Steve and Nancy, who had made reservations for a large group of us.  We were about 19 people that evening, and Jaime and I had a really great time.  We sat at one end of the really long table with Steve, Nancy, T. Wayne and Thea (the most adorable couple of the week!) Diane, Cheryl and Hedo Bob.  The food was great.   As usual, I adored the conch fritters.  I almost choked several times because we were laughing so much at the stories we were hearing from T.Wayne and Thea on their bedroom exploits.  After hearing about broken beds, burning towels, and the loss of huge quantities of personal fluids to the point of dehydration my ribs were aching and my eyes were tearing.  Our waiter had to be commended on his patience and tolerance with such a large group, especially since each couple wanted separate checks for their dinners.  After dinner we were soon back on the bus to Hedo, where we hit Veronica's and then the hot tub (which soon became our nightly routine.)  

We shared another fun dinner with some of our WWW friends in Pastafari on our official "Patriotic Night'.  All the WWW'ers wore patriotic red, white & blue outfits that night.  Our dinner group included me and Jaime, Hedo Bob, Diane, T. Wayne & Thea, Steve & Nancy, Edie & Jerry, and aw, shit!  Sorry, I forgot who else was there.  I've heard that once you hit the big four-OH that your memory is the first thing to go.   I'm living proof of that.  Hedo Bob kept us in stitches with stories of the exploits of his co-workers, who are mostly (it seems) of questionable immigration status.  Bob, you crack me up!  

Some of the other WWW activities included two cruises (which we forgot to reserve), getting the WWW ladies to participate in the Wet T-shirt contest, and the guys in the Body in Motion contest, and Black & Glow night where everyone wore something black with glow-in-the-dark jewelry.  On toga night we set ourselves apart from the other resort guests by wearing gold or silver togas.  Thanks, Nancy, for bringing enough fabric and trim to outfit an army. On Sunday night the WWW group had a private party in the newly re-opened disco, where we all brought Christmas gifts to be distributed to the school children of Negril.  It was really amazing how generous this group was.  There were hundreds of gifts on the disco stage.  I think we surpassed last year's numbers.  It really felt good to be a part of it.  

The Resort & Construction  

The construction was not a terrible inconvenience for us.  We booked an ocean view room on the prude side, as we usually do, because it's less expensive and it's quieter.  Despite the fact that our room was very close to the disco and the construction of the prude pool/bar area, the noise did not bother us because our air conditioner was loud enough to drown out all other sounds.  Getting to the dining room was no big deal for us, but anyone with rooms on the nude side had to go "the long way" to get to the dining room or Veronica's.  Our path to the nude beach was easy too, since we just walked from the prude beach past the dive shack and onto the nude beach.  No big deal.  

The disco was reopened in time for the WWW group's arrival, but the plywood covering the windows was not removed until the week was almost over.  The only physical change  I noticed in the disco was the new tile floor, which is mostly matte.  But there are a few very glossy tiles in the floor which are very, very slippery.  Be very careful when dancing in FMP's or shoes with smooth soles on the shiny tiles!  On PJ night I wore thigh-high boots with five-inch heels and almost lost my footing whenever I stepped on those f*&@#ing shiny tiles.  Also, the main entrance is closed so you have to enter the disco by the entrance at the rear of the bar.   

I'm not sure where the ice skating rink is supposed to be, but I think I saw a flat, somewhat circular area adjacent to the patio behind the disco, which could have been a rink.   

The new pool on the prude beach was filled with water and new plants were planted around the pool when we were there.  It was supposed to be opened by the time I was ready to leave on the 15th, but it didn't.  

The rock-climbing wall was up, but no one was using it.  The new spa and gym buildings were up, but the interiors are still unfinished.  It looks like it will be really nice when it's finished.  

Jaime got to stay four days longer than I did (wah!) and he one of the first guests to try out the newly opened Munahana restaurant.  He compared the food favorably to the food we enjoyed at the Munahana at Hedo III.  But the restaurant is very small, the hibachi tables are too close together, and the chefs did not have much elbowroom.  

The resort was giving out two free days for use in a future trip for everyone who was at the resort during the construction whether you were bothered by it or not.  That was very cool.  Unfortunately, they would not give them to us at the resort; they were mailing all the vouchers within 4 weeks.  Hopefully our voucher will "soon come" in the mail.  

The Staff  

Staff-cutbacks were immediately apparent.  There was hardly any staff in Pastafari, or in the main dining room.  Entertainment Coordinators were often seen helping out around the resort doing odd chores like bussing tables and bartending.  I was glad to see that Lucky, Angel, Roxanne, Patrick, David, and Chubby were all still there.  New coordinator (at least to me) Ashley was really cute.  

A couple of former ECs were visiting the resort as guests for a brief time, including Robin (Kitty Kat) and J.R. (Entice).  It especially nice to see Robin smiling again and looking very relaxed, even though he never hung out at the beach.   

All of my friends in the spa were still there: Nishka, Keane, Liz, Roslyn, and Novelette all survived the cutbacks hooray!  I don't know what I would have done without my manicures, pedicures, body scrubs and massages.  Whew!  

Jazzbo, Augustus, Paulette, Delroy, Scumba, Anna, Gracie, and Cleo glad you're all still around too.  

People Who Made our Vacation Rock!  

It's time to acknowledge everyone who made this trip so much more fun than we had ever hoped.   

First of all, there's the Grand Poo-bah himself Denny for coming up with WWW in the first place.  Thanks, man!  

Diane, it was really great to spend more time getting to know you better this year.  Thanks for the back massage and the "medicinal" ganja for relief of my cramps.  What a good friend you are!  

It was also great getting to meet the famous Zillagrrl (aka Karen) and Duck (aka David -- quack - quack!).  Zilla Monster, after reading many of your posts on Denny's boards I felt like I already knew you.  Sorry, but I still think you're too fucking nice ;-)  Doesn't matter, cuz I love you just the way you are fun bags and all YUM!  Duck you rock!  If we're ever in Minnesota we promise to come bang on your doors.  

Kris & Joe, Brett & Christie it was really awesome sharing the "cage" with you guys at dinner almost every night, and hanging out with you at Veronica's.  The hot tub games were fun too.  Can't wait to see all y'all again.  Brett & Christie, maybe I'll see you at the Hook next summer.  

T. Wayne & Thea you guys really were the cutest, most loving couple of the week.  It was really great talking with you whenever you finally came out of the love nest for a breather.  Thea, I hope you've replenished your fluids by now tee hee.  

Simon & Lisa (aka Hedovixen) don't forget to invite me to the Hamptons this summer yeah!  

"Coach" Dennis (aka Superman), despite the fact that you spent way too much time watching sports on TV, you are way cool.  It was fun talking about TV shows and movies in the pool with you, and wiping sand off your, er body parts during volleyball.  No personal fouls there, right?  Oh, and that was a really cool performance on talent night.  I was glad I got to finally see it since I missed the Body in Motion contest.  My bad.  Hope the Kryptonite in PA doesn't do you too much harm.  

Cheryl (aka Cherbunny), you are too cute.  Jaime and I were really glad to meet you.  You're no longer a Hedo virgin, ya mon!  

To the Connecticut Crew: Steve & Nancy, Rupe & Patty, and Hedo Bob watch out!  I might want to drive up to your neck of the woods frequently for a Hedo-fix.  

Steve & Nancy thanks for making us feel right at home with the group, and for including us in a couple of your dinner reservations.  You are very generous people and we really enjoyed your company.  The Magical Mystery Tour and dinner at Xtabi were fabulous thanks to you two!  

Rupe & Patty always lots of laughs.  Rupe, finally glad to help you tell the difference between me and your wife by putting my name on the back of my WWW cap.  That way you can no longer mistake me for Patty from behind. Still, it was a hoot being known as your second wife.  Patty, thanks for putting up with the "other woman."  

Bob, thanks for the T-shirt, the body glitter, the glow stuff, and for your hilarious stories.  You are really funny, and an all-around terrific person.  

Now for the non-WWW pals.  What a fabulous and pleasant surprise to run into Chris Santilli and Doug (Hedodude).  Chris was trying (unsuccessfully) to remain incognito, but her cover was blown very early on in the week.  Chris, I swear I did not tell anybody you were famous -- honest injun!  Girl, you look just as delicious as ever <MWAH!>  

Phyllis and Dean from Biff's Bunch.  Phyllis, I enjoyed our little chats and the fun times we spent together cheerleading and wiping sand off the genitals, er I meant body parts of the volleyball players.  Dean, sorry we didn't get to talk much, but I think you're one hell of a volleyball player.     

Last, but not least, is the big blow-up penis someone brought to the hot tub one night.  Okay, okay I know it's not a person but it sure made my night rock!  With the help of Jaime and Duck I was able to ride that sucker for a full 8 seconds without falling off.  Makes me want to go ride a mechanical bull or a Sybian.  Darn, I regret not ever making the time to go find that Sybian that I heard so much about.  Perhaps next year.  

Going Home (boo-hoo)  

Almost all the WWW'ers left Hedo on Saturday, the 15th.  I boarded another TimAir flight with Steve & Nancy and Rupe & Patty.  At the airport Security was acting really stupid about their interpretation of the FAA rules about what can and cannot be carried onto an airplane.  Alkaline batteries and cigarette lighters were being confiscated by some security people, while other security folks overlooked these items.  Tempers were beginning to flare.  To make matters worse, our flight to JFK was delayed for two hours.  To pass the time we ended up at Margaritaville where we saw many of our fellow WWW'ers hanging out due to similar flight delays.  It felt like we were still hanging out at Hedo except we had our clothes on.  Eventually our flight was called and, after more hurried good-byes to our Hedo comrades, we got on our way back to New York.    

Summary  

This was one of the best trips I've ever enjoyed at Hedo.  The energy level was very high.  I think Jaime will agree.  Despite the construction, the cutbacks on food (quantity and quality), staff, and customer-service, we had a blast!  The vibe that I love so much and crave was there for me.  I missed that vibe very much when Jaime and I went to Hedo III for Halloween this year.  In general, the people at Hedo II are the friendliest and most "funnest" people on the planet! In particular, the WWW people rule Hedo!  See, Bob we didn't ditch you guys this year tee hee.  

Due to price increases and work schedules I will find it very difficult to visit Hedo twice next year, as I usually do.  I'm going to have to do some serious thinking about whether I want to spend Halloween or WWW week at Hedo next year, because I doubt I'll be able to afford both.   Decisions decisions <sigh>.