What we did on our summer vacation at Hedo AKA - Adult Camp for Alcoholics, Nudists and Nuts!
By Mike & Beth Mason(kinda feels like Im back in school, here goes)
We wont bore you all with the details that lead up to the decision to go to Hedo (this report is long enough). You already know all too well about, the shopping, reading of trip reports, reviewing the Santilli manual, emailing. We went on the message board everyday to keep up to date on the current issues and to find out what to expect. Denny, we cant thank you enough for providing this great source of information. The packing (everyone saw our packing pic anyway), coordinating our ride to and from the airport (Rich you know youre the love of our lifethanks sweetie, wish we could have stowed you away in our bags), the first leg of our flight, etc.
Well pick up with our arrival in Mobay.
So there we were waiting in the plush and beautifully appointed lobby of Tim Air. How long have they been working on that building anyway? We were waiting for Chris and Sherrie to arrive from Miami, and the four of us were going to share the flight to Negril. According to Mike time we waited 8 hours for Chris and Sherrie to arrive (really about an hour.you know how men like to exaggerate length).
Dave and Wendy were in the lobby at the same time (we didnt know them yet), and I thought for sure they were Chris and Sherrie, but Mike wouldnt let me go up and bug them. He knows how shy I am (lol). Finally Chris and Sherrie arrive. Was that a war cry that you let out from across the lobby Sherrie? Mike heard you from outside the buildingYou two are so much fun! Off we goRed Stripes in hand. Uneventful puddle jump to Negril. Though a word to the wiseIf you happen to be sitting up front and the Pilot happens to ask you to take off your shirtMake sure its not a top that requires you to be a contortionist to get out of.you WILL wreck the planenuf said. Of course Mike believes the pilot wanted me up there to provide him with a Hedo preview, which I gave him of course, Im a team player.
Yadda,
yadda, got to Hedo, yadda, yadda, had to wait for a room, yadda, yadda ate bad
food while we waited for the room (about 1 hour). Craig could you talk
any s l o w e r ???? ??? We kept asking Melissa
to finish his stories Yadda, Yadda.checked into room, yadda, yadda,.Got
naked (easily done by us first timers)Christened room..YES!!!!
(Harold, whyd you think it was taking us so long to unpack?) Sorry,
back on trackYadda, yadda, unpackedHung Penis lights around door (a big
hit with all the frat members). Lets go find the Pool!!!! We
felt like we finally found our home.
Has anyone really stopped and looked at how cool a pool FULL of beautiful naked people really looks.You my friends are AWSOME! We are so glad we had a chance to experience such a warm and welcoming group of friends! Hedo is like no other place weve ever been. Let the games begin!!!
We wont bore you with a day by day review of ALL of our antics. Just the highlights! (Our sides still hurt from all the laughing and my voice is just returning) By the way have any of you noticed that these stories are a helluva lot funnier when your naked?
The first few hours were a blurnot ENOUGH alcohol yet, and too many names to remember, how about that line at the bar for drinks (thanks Ed for the tip about how to get service). Cool idea by Jeanie and Ed to do name necklaces, you guys are a hoot! (I loved the scrabble game with your necklace Ed I needa Peace!) And those bright folks who wrote or had their names put on the WWW hatssmart move! Were going to have name embroidering as an option for next years hats (just to prepare you).
We had the pleasure of coordinating the ordering of hats with the WWW2000 tattoo embroidered on the hats. Over 95 hats were purchased with at least 10-15 people approaching us wishing they had ordered hats. We tried to tell you that youd want one! We had a blast putting this together and meeting everyone as we gave them out at the pool. For example, where else can you have two beautiful women totally naked in your room as you are looking for their hats. (Mikes ultimate fantasy almost came true). Lisa and Rhonda, Im sorry it took so long for Mike to find your hats, but he was having too much fun with you two in the room, shhhhh. Dont tell Keith and Duane.
Just a few words about overpacking.We discovered, rather quickly, that Mike overpacked a few items.We never used our float, it just went on tour with us but never made it to the show. Maybe next year. Mike also packed way too many prude clothes. By Monday he had given up on wearing shorts and polo shirtson to g-strings and mesh boxers! After seeing Chip (The King that story is yet to come) wear his home made, barnyard animal, musical,vegatable,g-strings, Mike couldnt be outdone. I know a few of you ladies were glad for the wardrobe changeJessica, Linda, Cora (who stole Mikes thong) and of course ME! And a note to those of you who had cement marks on your butt from sitting around the edge of the pool..Garden kneeling pads are a wonder; they also make a great pillow when you are on the floats, and they dont take up much room in the suitcase. And YES those yellow things in the packing picture were cans of Peanuts! Which I might add, everyone devoured them. Now arent you glad we overpacked?
The first of our soul-mate couples that we met was Debbie and Bill. Bill you have been officially renamed Klinger (from MASH) by Mike! This couple brought enough stuff with them to start up their own party supply store. Are there any batteries left in Oklahoma Bill? And the glow in the dark equipmentIt was like a freaky Halloween party in your room. We had our pick of over 500 different items that glowed! Pretty cool! Now everyone knows why we were Glowing on black and glow night! Debbie and Bill you two are just the best! We loved every minute of being with you guys. Debbie, Mike thinks you are a bad influence on me!!!! Thanks, Mike wouldnt have it any other way! Loved the horseback riding outfits by the way! Debbie did you ever wear all 75 outfits? Mike thought I was bad. Hey Vinny Boys listen up! Dont let Debbie and Patty catch you taking pictures of her without her permission. Lets just say your camera better be waterproof and tamper-proof.. Way to go Debbie and Patty!!!!! That event otta teach the Vinnys.
Hey Bill, how come we can never get a hold of you between the hours of 10am-2pm? Okay, for those of you that dont know, these are Debbies hours for sex (Sorry Debbie). Also, Bill you have the best beach side manner. Ive never seen chairs and tables covered with such flair and style. Youre so like Martha. Did you really make 15 trips to the towel bin? Sorry we missed going to the beach that day. In fact, we had so much fun at the pool; we never made it to the beach except to walk hand-in-hand on the short beach. Mike is so romantic, eat your hearts out girls!!! While posing nude for the camera as Chip and Patty yelled out the windowtalk about killing the moment! Chip, Mike claims you took pride in doing that.
Speaking of Chip and Patty..The next pair of misfits, we met. Did you all know that Patty and I are twins separated at birth? Yup, dear old mom knew early on that we would be evil if kept together. So Mom tossed me out with the bath water. To quote Chipthose two are like bad magnets! So much for the repelling theory there Chip. I knew we were in trouble when Patty was willing to follow me back to the room to get Penis and Boobie glasses when she had only met us five minutes before!
Note to anyone who might be Hedo neighbors of Chip and Patty in the years to comeChip lies about how much sex they have, and he likes phone sexcall him OFTEN! And he likes to be the King in bed. Just add three women, an extra guy and Mike taking pictures while standing on the dresser.BOING up goes the peter meter!!! (And what a meter we are told). Thanks Keith and Lisa for joining our little 5somepictures to follow. Also, where else but in Hedo can a neighbor walk into your room (doors are left open because everyone has seen you naked) completely covered in shaving cream and ask can I borrow your shower? This was not a problem, except I was in the shower at the time. It didnt matter were in Hedo! The more the merrier in the shower! Plus anyone who wants have a strip-off with Chip.HE CHEATS. Hes a sneaky one, takes off a shoe, and slick as a whistle, he grabs it off the table and takes it off again! They way he plays youd think he wore 5 g-strings and 10 pairs of shoes. Poor Mike standing there all naked, while Chip laughed at him! Mike didnt seem to mind though. I wonder about by darling husband sometimes..
Of course, Chip, you owe us big time for completing two of your wildest fantasies at Hedo. Having Patty suck my nipples and being in the Grotto with Mike (oh, you wanted her in the Grotto with you? Now whos the loser?). It was our pleasure We have the pictures in case Patty denies any of this. Fellow WWWers you should also make sure you tell Chip how much you like his Cow g-string. He really likes it when you call it a Cow, way to go Wendy!
We had a great time catching up with Mike and Lindawe just love you two. Thanks for making us feel like veterans of Hedo. Remember that first night in the disco? Where was everybody??? And thanks for the wet T-shirt pics, they were great. Hey, by the way, where is the picture of me with all the chocolate on my face? That man in the Men in Motion contestant never had it so good.
Mark and Heather, thanks for walking back to the room with me the night the roving band of boob grabbers were on the prowl. Heather, Im so glad you decided to enter the wet T-shirt contestSo I guess my shirt came in 2nd and 3rd! Not that your great body got you that win, it was all about the shirt! LOL!!! Mike enjoyed having your legs wrapped around his neck. I liked how your OH SHIT comment rang out when you found out that ice was going to be rubbed all over your body. Too funny!
Ron and LauraSUUUCCCK MYYY DIIICCCK!!!! Can anyone explain how you get three words when you only roll two dirty dice???? Only Ron knows for sure! But when Mike says OK I WILL suddenly the phrase changes to DONT SUCK MY DICK. Again, Im beginning to wonder about my darling husband.Funny how that happened! Beware you dirty dice players, Chip doesnt play well with others. He always wining cant I have a better roll of the dice when things dont quite go his way.
Al and Jenny, we know we seemed like hedo veterans, but its true this was our first time at Hedo. We tend to just jump in all the fun. It was also a pleasure for Mike to rescue Jenny as he portrayed her husband from the Vinny in the pool. Did you know Mike set him up to do that? (Only kidding)
Dave and Cora. Cora, you looked great wearing Mikes thong in the disco. He was wondering what happened to it? We have a picture to show for it. I cant believe you wore Mikes undies and we had just met.. Funny how easy it is to meet people at Hedo You two are great.
Lance and Jessica. We had a great time with you guys, but definitely not enough time. Well need to change that next year. Jessica, where were you when Mike performed in the Men in Motion contest? He needed your voteSo there was a room key switch performed at the Pickled Parrot I hear. According to Lance, you have been wanting that key all week. Next time, steal it while Mikes asleep in the lounge chairs at the pool. I liked all that couch cuddling in Veronicas! Pretty cool how Hedo can bring people together. By the way, Mikes still waiting for his Tequila shot. Hey Lanceyou should have some great wallpaper shots for your computer after this trip! Mike wants to know why he is not there on your computer screen with me? LOL
Skip -N- Kathy (AKA Chip & Dip) Love you two! Kathy count us in when youre recruiting people to help out with your public service campaign The Cutting out of clothing tags that are shining through all of the sexy outfits! We will be your campaign managers! LOOSE THOSE TAGS PEOPLE! Thanks again for causing trouble by giving us those rubber duckies. We didnt realize how far they can pee. The lady who was trying to sleep with her mouth open never had a chance..
Steve and Pam We didnt get a chance to spend a lot of time with you guys, but the night in Veronicas was a hoot. Have you ever thought of taking up a career in singing? Actually, maybe you shouldnt. I bet I surprised you when I was so agreeable to singing the bamboo song? Is that song really that lllooonnngggg!!!!! We have the pictures to show for it (soon to follow).
Gotta take a break here and ask a question. Why is it when we were leaving Hedo, all the guys asked Mike to make sure that he brings me back next year??? Hmmm I wonder! Dave, Lance, Steve.any comments here guys? Too bad Im just so shy. Every time Mike came back from the bar and that was quite often, he would ask does anyone know where my wife is??? And all too many times he was told to either look up at a window, where I would be pressed up against the glass (that poor couple (Debbie & Earnie) in the downstairs room near the pool), or he would find me snorkeling in the pool, going underwater to make new friends. And to answer the most commonly asked question. Yes I am like this at home (and anywhere we go). Ah the cross poor Mike has to bare. Get it! Chip and Bill, I think Mike feels your pain.
Note to everyone..Dont let Patty and me be in charge of warning people not to drink the pool waterSorry Pool water drinking girl! We just couldnt warn you in time that your drink was 5% alcohol, 90% pool water and 5% protein shake. We never laughed so hard! That poor girl took a swig of what she thought was her drink, but it fell in the pool during one of the many koosh ball fights, and it was more pool water than drink! She made such a face after swallowingYou had to see it to believe it. We really arent evil!
Speaking of those koosh ball fights.Duane you are a trouble maker! Sorry to anyone who got caught in the crossfire.Poor Linda lost a Boob, Patty and I lost an eyetoo many injuries to count. Then there was the Handstand contest. We even have the pictures too prove itCora, Linda, Jeanie you guys are the champs! Thanks Denny, Chip and Ed for holding up the women folk. Hopefully nobody took in the pool water! LOL! By the way EdJust where were you trying to put your hand? Lets see, we had other organized pool events? Oh yeahNice line up for the BJ shot and for the Muff dive, good time had by all! Patty was the BJ shot before or after you grew your third boob? Ouch. I never expected to come back from H2 with so many bruises, cuts and the loss of my voice and loving every minute of it. That information was never discussed on the message board. We loved the white butts (Ken and Jenny) in the pool, and sorry Al about the underwater grope, I thought you were Rasta Bill, but you never did complain. I had fun how about you? Who could forget the trouble Ron got into with the Dominatrix? Becareful who you bean with the ball Ron, IT could be sporting a WHIP! Too Funny!
Hey how much fun was the balloon toss at the Prudies? Ever wonder why the bottom of their pool is so slippery? Maybe because IT NEVER GETS USED! The most people we ever saw in the prude pool at one time.two!
Speaking of pool capers.How about our singing ability as we sang Hit the Road Jack to that one Vinny as he was escorted out. Then of course there was the Vinny we named Unibrow how creepy was he? Lance I think you made the rules clear to him, thanks for saving us. And my personal favorite Vinny The one who dressed so very formal in knee high black socks with black dress shoes, that guy made me HOT! (He also made me wet myself from laughinganother had to be there event)
Now we must pass on a little story about how Chip became known as the King!
It seems that one of Chips little phobias is that hes not real fond of having his penis touched by another man. trust me hes ok with the women touching it.sorry Chip thought you were Mike! Anyway, a few of us were doingwellIT in the pool, and Mike and I were going along at a fine pace. Mikes whispering in my ear all the appropriate romantic words (dont believe a word of Chip and Bills trip reports) when low and behold Chip starts talking to Mike about going to church, the kids, paying bills, etc. (Chip you are a mean mother). Well, you can imagine how the mood was shrinking so to speak. (from up to down in a nanosecond). Now you see, Chip and Patty were in the middle of the wild thing as well. Apparently the King can keep it going as long as you dont bring up the kids names.Carl! Kelly! Just repeat after me.Carl, Kelly! Well, Mike didnt believe that the King was still going strong..So he reached down in between the two love birds just to be sure.The man is the KING declares my husband. Again, I wonder about my darling husband..According to Chip, the reason he didnt slap Mike silly was because as long as it was inside Patty it was ok. So Mike was spared.
Patty, we all know who spits and who swallows now dont we??? Even if Im the only woman in the pool! (Chip, Mike wanted the long version in this report. Your short version will sound perverted). Also, the next time you have your wife hold and fondle Mike in the pool pretending to be me, make sure she whispers sweet nothings in his ear. You know he gets excited when its romantic. How long was she stroking Mike anyway before he turned around and realized it wasnt me????? I was too busy trying to get a DRINK AT THE BAR! Is it always that bad?
Lets discuss the night six of us were thrown out of five places.Didnt know there were that many places in H2 did you? First we were tossed out of Veronicas because Debbie, Patty and I just cant keep from laughingat everything. Off to the disco.Please leaveapparently the prude folks just cant take a joke.If they want to stare at my tits Im gonna make fun of them. I think I know why they have the disco so cold when you first arrive. They want the women to hang keys from their nipples. Next off to the nude hot tub. Well, this time we kicked our selves out because we had to have a Vinny tossed out of the tub. Lets just say he left a mess in the tubOn to the prude tub.Please leave some rule about needing to wear a bathing suit in the prude tub AFTER 1:00 am when there is not a PRUDE to be found!!??!! Then we were tossed out of the dining room for beingwell us! Fortunately our egos dont bruise easily.
The only other tossing incident involved the dining room and me. On our last night, I was dressed in my bare as you dare outfit A pearl nipple chain and a pearl g-string. . (We forgot this was not a Hedo sponsored eventOh well). Since we were all on our way to Pastafaris for dinner I had a real outfit to change into, dont know why, it was hotter than hell in there. Mike was holding my outfit in the palm of his hand, but it was an outfit. On our way through the dining room, I was told that it wasnt toga night and would I please put on some clothing. So I did a tube top for a skirt and a sheer lace top. Now everyone was happy. Go figure.
So how bout that wet T-shirt contest.Wahoo!!! WWWers sweep the event. Way to go girls. Congrats to Clista and Heather. And Patty, what fun we had dressing you up in the blow-up tits (size 99EEE)! Thanks Baron for offering up your shirt, but we destroyed Chips shirt instead. Patty you look GOOD in those heels, you should burn those goofy white shoes and move back into Hooker shoe mode, you golden girl you! Oh and by the wayNext year Patty could you leave the old lady purse at home. Use one of those cigarette holders that Cindy and Debbie use! However, dont screw with Cindys smokes over the pool.Sorry Cindy!
We had so much fun on the Cat tripSteve and Linda you two ROCK! I hope it was OK for Mike to hold Linda up? Linda, Mikes willing to be your cabana boy next year. Are you going to bring lots and lots of suntan lotion? By the way Steve, did Linda smack you for providing TMI (too much information) about the lotion rubbing? And the next time any of you are looking for a way to get out of the rain.try under a towel, preferably held by a man as gorgeous as my husband.I just couldnt help myself, I had to play while I was there. He conveniently didnt tell me that it had stopped raining. And to you guys who jumped off the cliff naked. What were you thinking!!!! Protect the jewels! How cool was the bat cave? Patty you big chicken LOL! Watch out for the crabs!
I have a complaint; what ever happened to all WWW guys who volunteered on the message board to be part of the Men in Motion contest.Wusses! Thats what you are. All talk and no action. Just because Mike began drinking a 7:00 am to get up the nerve to do it has nothing to do with it. But. he was the one who had the PLEASURE of dancing with Kathy wrapped around his shoulders (thanks Kathy for being a good sport), and having four women eat cookies off his body. Hey Jeaniehow bout them cookies???? Now whos the winner? Never mind guys, I think he liked it just the way it was, stay away! By the way was that Patty licking strange menAGAIN!!!
How many of you flushed your toilets a million times the night the water was turned off in the cell block by the hot tub??? Couldnt figure it out on the first dozen tries could you? We lay in bed laughing at how many times a drunken person will continue to try to flush a non-working toilet. GO TO BED!
All we have left to tell you is that despite the problems regarding food (mystery food as we called it), rooms (what are they thinking with that hanging light?), the tiny ants (we started to give them names), the room service (we had just the best housekeeper Saundra Frank we loved her and will look for her next year) and Air Jamica flights (we were lucky only an hour delay in leaving), we couldnt have had a better time.
If we forgot to mention you please forgive us, for we are suffering from DIF (Dreaded Island Fever for the virgins). If many of our comments are not clear on meaning, thats because you HAD TO BE THERE NAKED TO UNDERSTAND.. Hedo is about making new friends, having the best time of your life and never once thinking about the office. That was our plan and we stuck with it(oh well, we did make that one call to Rich, and the office). In summary, Hedo is an Adult camp without counselors (or perhaps a Frat house gone terribly bad, like Animal House 2000) ..
Thanks to everyone we met for being so wonderful, warm and fun. You WWW people are the BEST. We did our best to meet all the WWW folks and well try harder next year (Were staying longer in 2001).
Lets hear it for Denny! Wahoo! Thanks for being you Denny, love those foot rubs! Youre the MAN!
Until next year..LOL (yep Chip this time it really does mean lots of love) Well be in touch! Stay safe!
Mike & Beth
P.S. Thanks for the photos that some of you have been kind enough to share
P.S.S Final thoughts from Mike ( I have to get some words in):
My beautiful wife (yes guys I will bring her back next year, I promiseand no, Im not ready to give her up. Shes beautiful and mine!!!) tells a great story and now is glad I was taking notes (although I wasnt carrying my note paper in my WWW2000 hat like a certain king I know, who will remain nameless (lol). As the Hedo veterans would always say, ITS ALL ABOUT THE WOMEN. Well, after being there for 9 days, I now believe it. However, for those of you that got to know us, you would understand that for me its always about my wife 365 days a year (you are the only one in the pool honey I love you).
Ok, enough Now the ending credits..
New comers (virgins): You may not understand all of our antics, but trust me when I say that Hedo was the BEST vacation we EVER had. Forget about the food, amenities and service. Its the group of people you meet there that will make this your best trip ever. All you have to do is stick out your hand and say hi, my name is. Trust me, the party will start from there. If better facilities are important to you go somewhere else!!!!
WWW gang: What can I say, you guys made this vacation the best ever. For those who joined in on the fun at Hedo, you will understand everything written. For those of you who we didnt get a chance to hang around with or meet, we can change that next year. Im sure you have similar stories and can relate to these antics. We hope to write our trip report next year about next and old friends. We would like to stay in touch as we consider you good friends.
Denny P: Denny, we couldnt end our trip report without saying thank you for all the efforts and time you put into bringing this group of people together and providing an outlet for crazy people like us to share stories and getting to know each other. Dont ever hesitate to include Beth and myself in any upcoming events or if you need any help. As you can tell, we arent shy about joining in. Im looking forward to providing the WWW2000 hats for the winter 2000 group (we only wish we could go). We didnt get a chance to spend a lot of time with you, but we understand how you must circulate to meet and greet all the folks.
New comers and veterans, feel free to email us with any questions or just to stay in touch at: