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What We Did On Our Summer Vacation
Or
Adventures in Wonderland
As we are sure we mentioned to many people, we don’t usually take a real summer vacation. It’s too darn hot! We are winter people, skiers. Love skiing, second most fun you can have standing up. However, since Jessica had the misfortune to be born in July, and since we wanted to do something real special for her 50th birthday, we looked for something new, different, and exciting to celebrate this life milestone. Wow, did we ever find it! Anybody interested in some first-class ski equipment and stylish ski clothes? We may never get back on the slopes again! We found Hedonism II, and the greatest bunch of people we ever met in so short a period of time in our lives. Rather than recount in detail events that many of you shared and that have already been well reported, we decided to just make a list of some of our favorite things, moments, memories, incidents, adventures, highlights, and sights. Despite the risks involved in naming names and thereby failing to recall any one of our many friends, we decided that some incidents just can’t be told without names. Just know that all those who we met and talked with, laughed with, drank with, ate with, swam with, soaked with, floated with, snorkeled with, sang with, danced with, and _______ with (fill in the blank yourself) will always remain in our memories. We have discussed it many times since we got home, we have never felt so free, relaxed, accepted, and attracted to so many people in one place at one time in our lives. How did they get so many of you wonderful people there at the same time?
Following are our likes and dislikes, in absolutely, positively, unequivocally, and decidedly no particular order whatsoever!
Thing We Liked About Hedo: All of YOU; Making a dozen or more new friends, almost immediately, Eric & Maggie on the bus, Dick & Chris at check-in, is that fast enough for you?; Dirty Bananas, a great morning drink; Floating three on a double raft, very friendly!; Hiding from a rain storm at Delroy’s with the awnings pulled down, bodies close, conversation good, and the shooters flowing, very cozy!; Being completely unable to find a person we didn’t like; Sitting and drinking at the swim-up bar in the warm afternoon sun, talking and laughing with everyone who swam up; Watching Giovanni organize outrageous games, did she work there?; Cheering for Keri who beat all but one of the guys in the beer drinking contest, get more Hedo bucks!; Body painting contest, "DO NOT ENTER"; Nude volleyball, nude volleyball, nude volleyball, Nudes vs. Prudes (partially nude) Volleyball; The Nude/Snorkel Cruise, Rasta Ralphie, Jessica and Sharon’s naughty Pole Dance, Kathy feeding the fish her breakfast, the nude limbo contest, a Cold Corona at Pickled Parrot, the rope swing, really being nude in PUBLIC!!(we were use to each other, but that was certainly different!); Sitting in the bubble tub watching an erotic display under the waterfall, and cheering appreciatively at the right moments, wow, hot! (They actually came out and had a cigarette after); That the sick ones all recovered and partied on despite the strange illnesses that seemed to be affecting women only (think the men were putting some bad Spanish fly in the drinks?); Lance’s totally relaxing 30 minute massage that left him just able to walk back to the pool bar afterwards; The Wet T-shirt Contest with Jessica’s fellow exhibitionist friends Shirley and Linda, its not if they won or lost, but that they played the game!; Jessica’s birthday party, she was overwhelmed with the love and attention from our new friends!!; The whole hot tub crowd singing Happy Birthday to Jessica just past midnight on Monday; Two of the Hasher boys teaming up to give Jessica a special birthday "surprise present" in the hot tub in view of all present!; Knowing you could find something to do, and better yet, someone to do it with at 4 O’clock in the morning; Lance, sweating like a 9 year old working for Kathy Lee Gifford every time he walked into the main dining area? It purged the booze from his body; The piano bar, singing and listening to our friends, they were good too, Crooner Denny, Bryson has left the building, Mike the crowd pleaser, Booming Baron, and of course, The Big Bamboo; The gym, well we both went twice, then gave it up; Denny, Sharon, Mike & Linda playing the strangest game of billiards ever seen; Chicken fights in the hot tub, it really is summer camp for adults(?); A little afternoon delight on the soft couches in the cool, dark sanctuary of the TV room, our secret spot!; Finding out too late that Kathy was really the wild one in the group; The PJ Party, the wildest official event of the week, it was hot in the Disco, but Jessica got ice rubbed on her nipples, thank you Corky!; Jim’s surveillance reports on the floating adventures of Fabio and The Porn Queen; Comic relief supplied by Smoker Boy, Sun Burn Man and the Skinhead, who were those guys anyway?; Lance and Denny trading witticisms and getting slam dunked by Mike’s Navy pun; Keith coming in second in his very first "Best Tan" contest, way to go!; Drummer Danny and entourage, his boombox, wicked laugh, roaming hands, and unfulfilled promise to give Jessica a taste of his 100 year old tequila; Willing our double raft to the tender care of Ken and Pam, trustworthy recipients; Getting reports every morning of everything you missed the night before because you just can’t stay up all night every night, damn it!; Seeing the costumes at the Toga party, Mike on drums and Raymond’s Fred Astair dance routine; Staying in touch with all of you since we came home, and making plans to see you all again next year.
Things We Didn’t Like About Hedo: Ah.............................Um...........................Well.....
...........Hmm................................what about...............................no.................................
or...............................nah........................................yeah, OK, .....no Irish Whiskey and no Jose Guervo Gold tequila (we are gonna bring some next trip).
So, that’s it, and the 150 other things we can’t recall right now, or just can’t fit in. One more thing though, we know you all have heard these lines before, we had and never knew where this place really was, but now we do........."Mirrors on the ceiling, pink champagne on ice, we are all just prisoners here, of our own device...........You can check out any time you like, but you can NEVER leave. Welcome to the hotel........" Spooky huh?
Yeh Mon, Lance and Jessica