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To the single male considering Hedo.
#8456 04/07/2009 08:10 PM
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I want to take this opportunity to talk to the single guys out there that are reading this board and thinking about going to Hedo.

So, to all you single guys thinking about taking the naked plunge... here are a few things to consider and keep in mind if you decide to visit our Jamaican home.

First of all, Hedo is for the ladies. Yes, the guys get to have some fun. But, the main focus is on the women. Why? Well, I'll let someone more articulate than myself answer that question. I'm not feeling too wordy right now. What does that mean to the single male? Simple, treat all women with respect.

The next thing you single guys need to understand is that being naked does NOT automatically equate to having sex with you. Many of the couples I've met at Hedo are monogomous. They don't want to have sex with others. They just like being naked and possibly having sex in public. And couples that DO play with others? It doesn't mean that they might want to play with YOU.

I understand that some single guys are sold on Hedo as the place where you can run around naked and women will just jump all over you. If you're Brad Pitt, that may happen. But don't count on it.

The reason I'm writting this now is that I just got back from Hedo II a few days ago. For some reason there seemed to be an unusually large number of creepy, sociably inept single guys this trip. At least two guys were running around touching and grabbing without permission. Guys, if a woman wants you to touch her, she, or her husband, will approach you and feel you out. Grabbing someone's wife is a quick way to get popped in the mouth.

There were apparently some closeted gay guys this trip. Now, I personally don't care which way your sexual taste run. But, no means NO! Just like the straight guys with women. If you approach someone and they turn you down, live with it and leave them alone. I was getting very annoyed with some guy that kept following me around. Dude! Take a freakin hint!

Oh, and to you creepy gawkers. You do realize that people can see you, right? At the very least keep a respectful distance. I've seen guys get entirely too close to a couple that was too enthralled to notice the personal space invasion. Again, keep your distance unless verbally invited closer.

Now, keep in mind. Even if you have been hanging out with couples and even if you've played with them on one night. It does NOT mean that you can follow them around and barge in on their private moments. If you see a couple having sex on a raft, leave them alone. When they're done, leave them alone. Let a couple relax in post-coital (sp?) bliss for a while. They may just be taking a break between rounds. Wait until they decide to rejoin the party and wave you over.

And to those of you who think your being slick with lame-ass break in excuses, (like asking for a smoke or a light) DON'T. Everyone sees right thru that and thinks you're a creep.

Learn some simple social skills and common courtesy. Otherwise you'll have a lousy vacation and likely ruin someone else's.

If you're curious as to how your social skills rate, go to a bar, lounge or other public gathering place where you live. If you can meet new people, have some laughs and good conversation, then you'll be fine at Hedo. If you get dirty looks or punched in the face, it means you're a jerk and Hedo is not for you.

I hope that other experienced Hedo vets, both singles and couples, can add to this. Hopefully we can educate some good guys and cut down on the bad ones.

Respectfully,
Dennis

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8457 04/07/2009 08:40 PM
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Bravo, Dennis!


Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
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Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8458 04/07/2009 08:51 PM
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Amen Dennis.

Apply this post also to single women, married men, and married women.

Jerks come in all relationship statuses and sexes.

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8459 04/07/2009 09:08 PM
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Great post right on the money amazing.


Alice & Lewis

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8460 04/08/2009 04:42 AM
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Perfection!! Should be added to the paperwork received at check-in (for the single guys).

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8461 04/08/2009 05:23 AM
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Originally posted by repeatoffender4th:
Apply this post also to single women, married men, and married women.

Jerks come in all relationship statuses and sexes.
These types of posts come around now and then, and i always stick my 2 cents in for the single guy.

I think the single guy gets a bad rap on this board, and at hedo. That is not to say that there are not creepy single guys out there, and they are probably in larger proportion than the creeps from any other walk of life (read coupled) that visits hedo....but they are certainly not the only creepy people at the place.

I take umbrage at the idea that I am more socially acceptable because of my wife. I love my wife, and in my best "jerry maguire" she does actually complete me....but im no less socially acceptable when shes not around.

I have been to hedo two separate times as a single, and both times I had a good time and both times i felt like i added to the party. I was treated pretty rudely by at least a couple of people who just didnt want to deal with single men at hedo at all. Whatever...i rolled with it. you dont want to talk to me...i am pretty sure i will get over it.

When i read these posts i always wonder if the poster has ever been as a single. I wonder if the poster realizes that all relationships are ephemeral in some way. There but for the grace of god (whatever one you believe in) go I....so to speak.....if your wife was gone tomorrow would you give up hedo?

I have met just as many a$$holes at hedo who were coupled as I have singles. And i am no less an asshole because my wife loves me than I was when i went by myself.

Some of the posters points have a lot of merit, but they arent just good advice to single guys, they are good advice to all hedo visitors. Respect is a term that is thrown around here quite a bit, but judging all singles on the behavior of a few idiots is not going to solve the perceived problem. the idiots wont be smart enough to see themselves in this post, period.


Boston MikeandPatty .... Next trip Aug 20 thru 30 2012!! Can't get here soon enough!! Looking for a good daily laugh? http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pattys-Got-the-Doodles/250358581695863
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8462 04/08/2009 06:02 AM
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Mike I think you are both on the right track. From my experience creeps come in all shapes, sizes, sex, and marital status. Some of the most fun people we know from Hedo are single guys. Those guys are ones that treat all with respect.

But on the other hand I must admit that by percentage more single guys are creeps than married. May be because there are less single guys so one creep can through off the percentage. May be that married guys know that if their wife sees them acting out they are in trouble. I know this is the case because there are some married guys that act one way when the Mrs. is around and another when she isn't. So folk shouldn't think that just because a creep is alone at the time that he is single.

All in all if everyone keeps the true Hedo spirit and not judge anyone until you get to know them, and treat everyone with respect we will all be fine.

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8463 04/08/2009 06:26 AM
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Originally posted by PDUB:

All in all if everyone keeps the true Hedo spirit and not judge anyone until you get to know them, and treat everyone with respect we will all be fine.
oh, that i were half this eloquent.

my point, as it always is in this thread, is that its not single guys who ruin hedo. Its creeps, and assholes....and a creepy married guy is no better than a creepy single guy, and may be worse...because he is perceived as being OK...which might not be ok,..... ok?

and a creepy chick is really scary...i have only dealt with one, but it was NOT a fun situation.

Its not like i dont get it. I have met the creepy single guys at hedo (depending on who you ask, i guess, i have BEEN the creepy single guy at hedo). I just get tired of the threads bashing, or making an attempt at educating all single guys.

seriously...the guys you want to educate would never be willing to learn. The guys who would be willing to take the advice posted....probably wouldnt be creepy to begin with. Singles get a bad rap based on a few bad apples, and over-generalization doesnt help.

I prefer to meet a person, and judge them on who they are...not who loves them, or doesnt.


Boston MikeandPatty .... Next trip Aug 20 thru 30 2012!! Can't get here soon enough!! Looking for a good daily laugh? http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pattys-Got-the-Doodles/250358581695863
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8464 04/08/2009 07:09 AM
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With these discussions someone always puts in that there are also creepy couples and single women. That doesn't change the fact that the real problem remains the MUCH higher number of creepy single men.

We have friends who are single men, who are really likable and accepted, maybe 10% to 20% of them.

Probably 60%-80% of the single men rarely talk to anyone and are just "there" hoping some couple will want them in some way. They look so pitiful, spread out around the hot tub at night, rarely sitting near each other because that might look "gay". They go home to tell their buddies about that time they actually got to touch a woman's nipples!

Then there are the ones mentioned in the original (very well-written) post, the aggressive ones. They are the real problem. Being there, far from home, where they'll see no one to whom they might have to apologize once returning to their normal lives, brings out the worst in too many. We've had FAR too many bad experiences with them. We've found that if we make the mistake of speaking nicely to one of them early in the week, we've authorized him to break into any conversation we might be having with another couple, even though we may be having a very serious discussion. They truly reduce our enjoyment of the week for their feeble attempts to get laid.

Before I met my significant other I went as a single. Once we came as a couple I saw some of the same single men and was ashamed that I acted like that back then. After 18 trips to Hedo II as a couple, if I were single again I wouldn't consider going to Hedo.

Especially during Lifestyles weeks, a single man coming to Hedo is like going to a potluck dinner without a dish to share.

Dave

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8465 04/08/2009 07:38 AM
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Every few months these threads pop up...the problem is the single guys who you are addressing aren't reading this message board or doing any homework on what to expect at Hedo. The guys who are reading this board most likely won't be the problem.

Hedo to me is a couples resort (apologies in advance to the singles who have made Hedo work for them as a vacation)...I have gone both single and coupled and social life at Hedo is far easier as a couple.

I would not recommend Hedo to most single guys...there are a few I have known who would be able to make it work for them...but they are the exception rather than the rule.

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8466 04/08/2009 08:01 AM
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Quote
Probably 60%-80% of the single men rarely talk to anyone and are just "there" hoping some couple will want them in some way.
When I read posts like this, the thing that strikes me is that the couples always seeem to think that the single guys are after the wife or S.O. of the couple. That sounds a bit elitist to me. (My wife is much more desirable than any single woman).

As a single, I was always more interested in meeting the single women, than trying to barge into a couple. I would talk to couples, but that was as far as it went.

There are not as many single women at Hedo as there used to be. {pity} So my advice to the single guys is: "There's a woman there for you. All you have to do is find her." That means that they have to meet a lot of people, to find what they're looking for, and that's good [IMO]. When the place is full, and assuming half are female, that's over 200 women to check out.

Respect.


The more you look, the more you see.
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8467 04/08/2009 08:17 AM
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Originally posted by HedoDaveKY:
With these discussions someone always puts in that there are also creepy couples and single women. That doesn't change the fact that the real problem remains the MUCH higher number of creepy single men.


Then there are the ones mentioned in the original (very well-written) post, the aggressive ones. They are the real problem. Being there, far from home, where they'll see no one to whom they might have to apologize once returning to their normal lives, brings out the worst in too many. We've had FAR too many bad experiences with them. We've found that if we make the mistake of speaking nicely to one of them early in the week, we've authorized him to break into any conversation we might be having with another couple, even though we may be having a very serious discussion. They truly reduce our enjoyment of the week for their feeble attempts to get laid.

Before I met my significant other I went as a single. Once we came as a couple I saw some of the same single men and was ashamed that I acted like that back then. After 18 trips to Hedo II as a couple, if I were single again I wouldn't consider going to Hedo.

Especially during Lifestyles weeks, a single man coming to Hedo is like going to a potluck dinner without a dish to share.

Dave
see dave...we just think differently. I think a persons worth is inherent to that person, and not to their S/O. I think of my wife as a partner, and a friend, and not as a dish at a potluck.

I am not saying you are wrong....just saying we think different. I look forward to meeting everyone at hedo, swingers, non-swingers, men, women, and couples of all kinds from all places.

Everyone who goes to hedo adds to the place, and I for one hope they never change the single policy.


Boston MikeandPatty .... Next trip Aug 20 thru 30 2012!! Can't get here soon enough!! Looking for a good daily laugh? http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pattys-Got-the-Doodles/250358581695863
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8468 04/08/2009 09:05 AM
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I agree with every post by Boston Mike on this topic. I am usually a reader, not a poster, but I take exception to being referred to as a dish at potluck. Wives are not accessories which immediately forgives inappropriate behavior by married men. My personal experience has been that I have had more issues with married men being inappropriate than single men at Hedo.

I hate postings like this, which assume all single men need to be schooled. Jerks are jerks and, as others have pointed out, come in both singles and couples. Those who are jerks probably don't read this board and show up to Hedo thinking it is a free for all. I have great single friends I look forward to seeing at Hedo as much as my married ones and do not want them to feel unwelcome or ostrasized by people who think Hedo is for couples only. Want a couple's resort, go to one.

I'll miss all my married and single friends next week - drink a vodka slushie for me!

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8469 04/08/2009 10:11 AM
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Well said Mike and Hedo Princess!! During our 24 trips we've met many single friends both male and female. We've also met some married jerks as well. Being single, should not be a reason to brand you as some sort of social scumbag.

If you are a jerk when you are single...good chance you may be one as a married person.

Dave...regarding the single guy during a LS week. We've seen some very successful single guys. Polite and socially skilled in the art of the "dance". And coming to the potluck dinner as a single without a dish to pass...we've been to many potlucks...we don't always like every dish. Perhaps you just don't like the dish the single guy has to offer.

peace, love & respect every time!
roy


"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices...have very few virtues." Abraham Lincoln
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8470 04/08/2009 10:43 AM
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I LOVE the singles that go to Hedo. Male and female. It adds so much to the fun. If some people on this board would not feel comfortable going to Hedo single it’s likely best that they stay away, but I for one say bring them on.

We have all dealt with obnoxious singles there and in our own home towns. I can handle it without question. It doesn’t even take long and the benefits of meeting some of the greatest people….including my current (and only) husband… outweigh the occasional inconvenience of dealing with a jerk.

Anita (adding MORE slushies and shots to my to do list for Hedo Princess)

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.-- Winston Churchill


Anita
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8471 04/08/2009 12:48 PM
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I just want to add that one single guy made our trip fantastic last time. We hope to meet another like him on our next trip. So don't give up single guys, some people like having you around.

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8472 04/08/2009 01:23 PM
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Singles are why we go to Hedo and not Desire.

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8473 04/08/2009 01:40 PM
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Hey, I met my husband (current and only, lol Anita) when he was a single guy at Hedo III, and I was there with a girlfriend! So, I know firsthand that single guys can be great (although he was a bit obnoxious when we first met- sorry honey, you know you were a little intoxicated). I have no bad feelings toward single guys and girls at Hedo, and definitely wouldn't ban them from coming. A great many of them are fun, respectful, and truly add to the flavor of the resort. They do not have to bring a "dish to share," in order to add value to the dinner party that is Hedo, heck, 50% or more of the married guests (present company included) are not planning on "eating" any dinner- they are just there for the party, so any "dish" they might bring will not be intended to be shared!

That being said, I agree that the original post is good information for single guys, married guys, single girls, and married girls alike. I've seen all categories of people behave inappropriately, aggressively, and annoyingly while at Hedo. I think that the original post is good reading for everyone, but unfortunately, it seems as though the people who need this advice most don't frequent the boards and thus, won't get it.


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Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8474 04/08/2009 06:01 PM
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Actually Hedo is a great place for singles to go. When I went to Hedo as a single (roughly 10 times out of 32 trips) I always had people to talk to and eat meals with. Contrast that with the trip to Florida I took after my divorce. I was alone 24 hours a day for a week. The longest conversations I had were with waitresses. Try getting someone to put sunscreen on your back. Never a problem at Hedo.

I was a little strapped for cash after my divorce. Guess what...if you are willing to share, Hedo doesn't charge you for double occupancy like a cruise ship will.

Guess what...you don't have work really hard to arrange your schedule so that you and a friend can go on a vacation, just go when it's convenient for you.

All I'm saying is have respect for singles. There are a lot of reasons from their viewpoint to go to Hedo. And possible sex may not have even been considered as a reason to go. Sun, Beach, Scuba, Tennis, Volleyball, and no decisions were the main reasons I went the first time.

Rick

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8475 04/08/2009 06:02 PM
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As a single guy that's been going to Hedo for 26 years, perhaps folks would be well advised to NOT characterize us all the same way. The original posting is pretty offensive.

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8476 04/08/2009 06:10 PM
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i would suggest the analogy...if we went to JA on an airline and there was a single screaming child on the plane ...my spouse and I would leave saying OMG that plane was full of screaming children...on the other hand if there was a plane with numerous children, all well behaved we would have no comment (not positive...not negative)..So I think the single male question is full of stereotypes at Hedo....we have met and conversed/socialized with numerous single gents over the years...but on the other hand have avoided many more in as many trips...there is always one bad apple that will give the lot a bad reputation!


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Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8477 04/09/2009 02:47 PM
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Gee folks, I wasn't looking to bash anyone with this thread. Nor was I looking to detract from the many single men who have gone to Hedo and made friends because they know how to behave. (I'm one of those single guys.)
I understand that there are many jerks that go to Hedo without ever doing any research and act like a fool when they get there. My only thought when I posted this was, if I can keep one "stickman" or crazy mumbler KGB agent from screwing up a vacation for others, I'll feel like I accomplished something. Maybe one of those borderline jerks will read this and decide that Hedo's not for him. The single men out there that can be mature, respectful, fun adults won't have a problem with this.
Yes, I realize that jerks can be single or married. I've met then both. But, as a single male, I have to sometimes overcome the stigma that other, poorly behaved single guys have left behind.

I've met some great people at Hedo that I still keep in touch with. But, I've also gotten dirty looks from people just for being single. I don't go to Hedo for the sex. I go to decompress and have a quiet beach to sit on during the day. The atmosphere in the evening makes for meeting some fun people and having some great conversations. I can spend ten days relaxing and laughing.

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8478 04/09/2009 06:20 PM
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We have been to Hedo many times and would have to say that most of the singles are pretty cool folks. When you meet the occasional turkey, just brush the feathers aside and keep walking. I would agree with an earlier poster that probably as big a percentage of married folks were obnoxious as singles. (and IMHO, there aren't very many obnoxious types there anyway)


Tex & Precious
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8479 04/09/2009 10:24 PM
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Quote
Originally posted by Bunz z:
It doesn’t even take long and the benefits of meeting some of the greatest people….including my current (and only) husband… outweigh the occasional inconvenience of dealing with a jerk.
Quote
Originally posted by monieb:
Hey, I met my husband (current and only, lol Anita) when he was a single guy at Hedo III, and I was there with a girlfriend! So, I know firsthand that single guys can be great (although he was a bit obnoxious when we first met- sorry honey, you know you were a little intoxicated).
Make that three of us who met our hubby's there. (Monie, I didn't realize you didn't like Mo at first, I ditched John our first night there after dinner...took me another whole year to 'see the light').

While you'll always meet jerks most anywhere in life, my experience about the men who go to Hedo (the single ones, the married ones, the otherwise coupled ones) for the most part really "get it". I find the men who go to Hedo treat their ladies with respect, they know that Hedo is about the ladies. If you cross section 100 men anyday at Hedo and compare them with 100 men you'd meet in any city in the US of A, I'd put my money on the guys that go to Hedo to be heads above in how they treat women (their women or just women in general). I find most men at Hedo to be grateful for the experience and grateful to be sharing it with the woman they love (or the one they are about to meet). Don't give up single guys...amazing things happen at that magical place. I was soooo out of the market in meeting men, and then look what happened. Who would of thunk????

Dennis (Knight66d)...you get it!!! We've never met, but I can assure you that you do. Yes, it's unfortunate that 10% (my guess) of the jerks give all the single guys a bad rap. On the other hand, it's those 10% that make guys like you shine!!! Keep on doing what you're doing, you are helping to educate everyone, and it's much appreciated...at least by this former 'single gal who flew solo to Hedo many times'.

diane

diane


Either walk the walk, or quit talking the talk.
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8480 04/10/2009 11:02 AM
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Very well written Dennis and as a group that promotes that we welcome singles I really appreciate your addressing this. also noted that you said you wrote this in response to a week of unusually large number of creepy guys..note he used the word "unsually".

I think a lot single guys MIGHT just read this forum and others without posting. See because we promote singles...I get a LOT of emails. Many of them from cruising the message boards. Trust me..some of them ARE QUITE creepy. Many have the totally wrong idea and either I set them straight or they go away and find some place else or some other time to go.

Of course it's not just limited to single guys but creepy people in general. Yes we run into all types at Hedo just like we do in life.

For the most part, most people going to Hedo are open minded and accepting just because most people would be to go to this type of resort.

But it's always good to deter even ONE creep from showing up because he just may be the creep that ruins and entire week for someone someday.


Mary Ellyn
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Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8481 04/10/2009 12:01 PM
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Dennis makes some very good points and I was at HedoII when he was there. One really creepy guy made repeated excursions and intrusions throughout our stay. He was literally grabbed by the throat by one husband/SO. After that, he behaved much better for a couple of days. There's no way we eliminate creeps, but we can train them.

There were many friendly, affable, single guys at Hedo that week and many of them paid particular attention to my wife and I didn't mind a bit. They were gentlemen and respectful. I do not paint any of them with the same brush as the one creepy dude and "no" one bad apple didn't spoil it for the good ones.


Not as good as I once was; but once, I'm as good as I ever was.
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8482 04/10/2009 03:36 PM
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From a different prospective...I went at Spanksgiving this past year for the 1st time as a "single" female.

Maybe it was because I had been so many years at the same time as part of a "couple", but I didn't have any problems getting along with anyone, single or married.

To be honest, I could care less about a persons "relationship" status. As long as they are fun to talk to and treat everyone with respect, who cares!!??

I actually thought that was what Hedo was all about!

I do appreciate the original posters advise though, as if the real jerks would even care!

Please don't disallow us singles from Hedo, where else would we go????

And I too will miss everyone in a couple of weeks! Hope to see everyone for Spanksgiving again though!

Have a GREAT parade, and hugs and kisses to all from me!!

Edited to add: I met some wonderful new friends on my first solo trip that I am still in touch with!!!

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8483 04/10/2009 04:07 PM
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This post discussion has become somewhat distorted and I think knight66D is getting a bad rap. His post was actually very well stated without meaning any direct offense.

Boston Mike - you gave me some adcive on a previous post which I took and I would like to throw the same exact advice back to you.

The original poster is not giving single guys a bad rap, just the creepy ones that always seem to appear. Our last trip we made best friends with a single guy who I still stay in contact with and was just great company. I loved that I could leave to go get a massage or whatever and felt so comfortable with my wife staying with him. On the other hand, there were more than a handful of really weird dudes. One night at the hot tub, a couple of us couples were getting in to each other, and there was a guy that would literally creep up and put his face right next to a woman's you know what. As this woman was our friend, and didn't notice the unwanted intrusion, I told him in so many words to "get the f*@* back" to his corner. He replied that he didn't speak English. The only problem was I had spent about 15 minutes next to him at the nude bar earlier in the day and he was speaking fluent English. There were also at least 4-5 other single guys there that ranged between peepers ans creepers. In particular, there were three guys who wandered around the nude area, always dressed, but would stare at people or situations, especially after midnight. A few of these folks can really kill the atmosphere for everybody.

Many threads on this board are started with "should a single guy go" and "what is the etiquette?" I think these posts help to educate people about Hedo etiquette and are a good thing. No single male should take offense. This was not a broad brush, stereotype post. To me it seemed a fairly polite, rationale response to a recent experience - and one we have also experienced. Nobody wants to exclude singles from Hedo! No way. I've already been to those resorts and its boring. Just go back an read the original post. Nobody who is the right frame of mind will be discouraged from going to Hedo and no singles who have been, or are thinking of going, should be offended if they don't meet this profile.


SMJ
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8484 04/11/2009 05:06 AM
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Quote
Originally posted by Steve1:
This post discussion has become somewhat distorted and I think knight66D is getting a bad rap. His post was actually very well stated without meaning any direct offense.

Boston Mike - you gave me some advice on a previous post which I took and I would like to throw the same exact advice back to you.

The original poster is not giving single guys a bad rap, just the creepy ones that always seem to appear. Our last trip we made best friends with a single guy who I still stay in contact with and was just great company. I loved that I could leave to go get a massage or whatever and felt so comfortable with my wife staying with him.
Steve, I could lighten up, but then what would I do with all this righteous indignation?

What if that single guy you made BEST FRIENDS with decided not to come, because of a thread like this?

I take these topics very personally, and regardless of dennis's intent when he posted I DID find his initial post offensive. Not dennis, just the way he worded his post. There is an undercurrent of exclusion here at denny's, and even at the resort towards single guys. there is more than one poster to this board who thinks along the lines of...."why should we like single guys, they didnt bring anyone to share" (this is a paraphrase, of course). {I maintain that a persons worth comes from them, and not from whether they are coupled, or single.}

That opinion chaps my ass. I have met many single men at hedo whom I would love to see there again. some of them regular posters to this board. Wsskier, mugsey, darrell (who sings louis armstrong like its nobody's business), hell me when I went single, I think at least 3 women have posted in this thread that they met their husbands there, and that side of the single guy "problem" tends to get short shrift here.

So I think regardless of the intent of dennis' post that I will keep my opinion that these threads dont deter the people with bad attitudes, but they do deter the people who would add to the party at Hedo.

While I accept that everyone is entitled to their opinion.....i guess that acceptance leads me to teh idea that I am entitled to mine as well.


Boston MikeandPatty .... Next trip Aug 20 thru 30 2012!! Can't get here soon enough!! Looking for a good daily laugh? http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pattys-Got-the-Doodles/250358581695863
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8485 04/11/2009 05:34 AM
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I still agree with Dennis' post!

Dennis, thanks for telling it like it really is!

Maybe some guys/creeps will not go with false expectations!

I personally like "most" single hedo guys though!!!

Is it 5'olock somewhere yet?

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8486 04/11/2009 12:48 PM
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Boston Mike.......... Well said & I agree with your last post completely.

The original post was well-intended but written such that I found it offensive. There are "problem guests" that are male or female, single, married, or otherwise coupled. In these discussions, however, the focus is often on "single guys" as a generalization and that really isn't any more appropriate than if it were an ethnic or racial generalization.

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8487 04/11/2009 02:34 PM
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I think the original post was full of great advice for Single guys on how to have a good time at Hedo, and it was done so without assuming or saying that all single guys are a problem. Well done IMO.
I have to add this though! I would add that I have found that the same good advice should go for married men as well though! On most of our trips there were just as many (usually more!) married guys who needed the lessons in the original post as much as any single guy might. The problem is not "Single Guys", jerks and people who lack social skills sometimes end up married too!
Roy in VA

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8488 04/11/2009 04:37 PM
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My wife put it like this: "Just because I'm naked, doesn't mean I'm promiscious." There are newby guys that don't know what to expect at Hedo. It's not an open free-for-all orgy. Newby guys have PM'd me to get the skinny on what to expect. Why not tell them outright on these forums without getting your panties in a knot? If some men here are offended that Dennis thought it wise to point out to single guys that there is an expected code of conduct at Hedonism, too bad. I just hope they have some pushy SOB grope thier wife and continue to intrude when politiley told "no." I'll bet they won't be so PC when it comes to thier space. Personally, if you cross a line after being informed there's a line there not to be crossed, I'll take care of it. I had to put a guy on his heels one night after telling him "No" several times. Maybe if the guy had come to Hedo informed, it might not have happened.


Not as good as I once was; but once, I'm as good as I ever was.
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8489 04/11/2009 05:13 PM
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Well said Seattle! You shouldn't even HAVE to be told not to cross a line. People should be patient and wait to see how things play out before barging in. You should NEVER have to say "no" ... if people were respectful.

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8490 04/12/2009 03:25 AM
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rigggghhhhhhhhhhhttttttt seattle....so this guy you "had to put on his heels" after saying no to him SEVERAL times would have never been a problem if hed read THIS post. You talking to him several times, to his face.... not effective, but a bulletin board post he read before he met you at hedo would keep him from being a creep?

interesting perspective. you tell him no to his face, and that doesnt work, but if he'd read this he'd have "gotten it"?

thats exactly my problem with these silly generalizations. I swear I am repeating myself over and over again, but you cant educate the creeps HERE. The creeps wont come here to get that advice, and the creeps wont stay away from hedo based on an internet post that is thoughtful, and considerate. the creeps dont care enough to care.

all these posts do is hurt the good single guys, they never ever deter the idiots. Unlike kentucky I think the percentage of good to bad is more like 90 good to 10 bad (now if we talk about those there on a DAY PASS everything changes) and the posts on this board on the subject do nothing but take thoughtful, considerate guys who might be great at hedo, adn make them feel unwelcome.

so for me, again....id rather meet someone, and base my opinion of them on who they are, ACTUALLY, and not on their coupled status.


Boston MikeandPatty .... Next trip Aug 20 thru 30 2012!! Can't get here soon enough!! Looking for a good daily laugh? http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pattys-Got-the-Doodles/250358581695863
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8491 04/12/2009 11:05 AM
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I will be making my first visit to Hedo in a few weeks as a single guy, and after reading this thread and similar threads on other bulletin boards, I wonder if I'm making a mistake. I have been on a lot of cruises and to Breezes Runaway Bay twice, and have always gotten along quite well with both the staff and guests. I hope it works out this way at Hedo, but I'm beginning to wonder. From the original post on this thread, I see "First of all, Hedo is for the ladies." Oh yeh... I thought Hedo was for people who pay their money and go there for a fun vacation where you don't have to worry about being arrested for "indecent exposure." Part of what appeals to me about SuperClubs in general, is that they are all-inclusive, and I don't just mean the alcohol. The SuperClubs web site and their brochures state "While some of our SuperClubs resorts have minimum age restrictions for guests, none of our resorts discriminate based upon race, nationality, gender, marital status or sexual orientation." That's quite a difference from all of these "couples only" and "opposite sex couples only" resorts, and it's a difference that appeals to me.

In the end, I think I'll have fun at Hedo, and since I get along with guests at other places I travel, I suspect I will do ok at Hedo too.

Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8492 04/12/2009 11:54 AM
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Kokomo Kid if you are respectful and social, you will have a great time. The stigma attached to being a 'single guy' only applies to those who are not respectful. Like others have stated, I have found relationship status not to matter when it comes to those being grabby - had more married or in a relationship guys doing that than I have had single guys.

No matter who you are, I think the basic message should be to go there with no sexual expectations and a positive attitude. I gave the same advice to another single guy who was debating going after his girlfriend and he had broken up. He was worried that he wouldn't be accepted as a single. When I talked to him during the trip, he said he was very glad he went and would probably return in the near future. Several other single guys during my last trip also had a great time and will be returning.

Also, I tend to agree with those who say writing a post like this will not deter the idiots (of any gender or status). I have actually talked to one of the guys who will get within a foot of a couple being affectionate and even start touching without being asked. He doesn't seem to understand what he is doing that is not appropriate - keeps doing it. My only thought process is that maybe he thinks that sooner or later he will be allowed to fully participate and since he has been to him this tactic is working...

Cheers to great hedo peeps of all genders! smile


Learn something new and play everyday!
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8493 04/12/2009 05:28 PM
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While it hasn't happened that often overall, I think my wife has been groped more by coupled men than single ones. At least the one who was really disorderly was married and the GM threated to throw him out.

Lets face it guys, this is a male thing. I suspect it has happened, but I never have heard a male complaining about being groped. Matter of fact, the several times it has happened to be, I rather enjoyed it. All men can learn from this post. Kokomo just learn from this thread that what might be pleasurable touching or feeling to you may be groping to a lady and go to Hedo. You will have a great time!


Bill
"Ya gotta do your ting"
Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8494 04/13/2009 04:28 AM
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...just wanted to add yet another comment..
I think I'm a bit unique to the post in that I'm a single guy who is Jamaican and lives in Jamaica.
I've visited both hedo resorts several times over the years and I've had fun and felt included every time.

It's been said already, but can't be said enough. Respect and honesty go a long way
smile


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Re: To the single male considering Hedo.
#8495 04/13/2009 07:10 AM
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Single guys out there...you will have a great time if you follow two simple rules.
1) Go to have a good time.
2) Respect others.

Damn that was easy.

Barry

BTW, If they stop allowing singles, who will paint my toenails?

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