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Hi to all
#133647 12/27/2018 06:14 PM
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Hi from north of Phoenix. I guess this is an intro as well as a question about which forum/s we should be checking out.

I signed up because this seems like a good place to ask questions, read others and better understand resorts.

Having never been to an adult resort, the only resort we've looked at so far is Hedo II. The reason we've got that one in mind is that many of the reviews are quite positive. However, there are some things which make us wonder if this is the right resort for us or should we be looking at something else. Perhaps posting will help us to drill down closer to the actual report we'd like to check out.

First, I don't think you could say we are swingers but are very open minded and have had a couple of bi girlfriends. I the husband never had sex with our lady friends but did enjoy oral. No particular reason other than things simply never went there. I was excited just watching my wife and enjoying the ladies antics.

We are not that excited about wanting to have sex with others but at the same time, if it were not just meet, swap and leave, we might be open to trying more. Meaning, since we aren't that into the idea of meeting someone, having sex and never seeing them again, we figure we're not going to be too interested in sex with others but with each other. We like to fantasize about such things but it's not a hard core plan we need to achieve.

Our interests are mainly to get to enjoy walking about naked on beautiful beaches, getting to watch people having sex, getting involved in at least some of the games. We have no hard plans to make this a trip that is about swinging with others but we'll keep an open mind.

Some things about Hedo II that bother us a little are as follow.

-It's nice to see management or at least marketing people responding however, I see a trend. Quite a number of people say they have experienced awkward situations with single men, there are too many of them, they don't take hints, don't understand how things work with couples or women walking around on their own. I've read way too many times that they think groping your wife is allowed.

I sometimes have a low tolerance for that kind of thing and would likely ask nicely but firmly for this person to get away from us and if he didn't listen, would potentially lose my cool. I absolutely abhor people who do not respect others space especially when politely asked not to invade it.

After reading reviews, this sound like it could be a real issue and that management is always responding that 'you could report' these people yet the postings about this behavior are many so, aren't they themselves watching for such behavior? It sounds like they are reactive only especially the non security staff.
This aspect sounds stressful already and we've not even booked.

-Next, I've read mixed reviews about what is allowed and what is not allowed. Some people say you're allowed to be nude at all times, the only exception is the dining rooms and certain things must be worn. Others have said be careful, you're only allowed to walk nude in certain areas, pathways, beach, pool areas, etc. Not really sure what all this means in 2018 or in 2019 which is when we are thinking about.

-At least one review said that the resort should offer some sort of name tag or visible means of knowing what and if others are interested in anything. Full swap, soft swap, maybe they are looking only for a single man or a single woman (or woman with husbands permission), bi, straight etc. Does anyone know if there is such a thing at some of the resorts?

-Price wise, is Hedo II on the low, mid, high side of pricing for similar resorts? Many say they didn't spend much time in their rooms so for us, the prude section sounds like it would be just fine for us. We love to walk and can strip down any time I would guess.

-Last but not least, does the place allow cameras? It seems there are a LOT of pictures of people at Hedo on the Internet which doesn't make it all that discreet.

This post is mainly to try and find out if we should be looking at something else rather than Hedo II. I'll post some other thoughts I have to see how things worked out for others once I can get a sense of where we should be going.

Thank you kindly for any and all input.




50's couple, Prescott area, seek soft swing friendship with couple that have no experiences, like us. Out of town even more fun, you host, we'll host. All we ask is that you have the time to foster a new friendship! Not interested in friend collectors.
Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133648 12/27/2018 08:39 PM
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WOW, where to start.
“I don’t think we are swingers”. That will never be an issue. A simple no thanks will quickly stop any further advances. People who swing are really very nice and respectful people and will not impose their desires on you. That being said there are different levels of swinging, and usually a pleasant conversation will determine each persons perspective. At this resort, you can do what you want, and that means you can sit on the prude (nude) beach and not be bothered by anyone, or join in the fun, at whatever level you want, at the nude pool. You can partake in whatever games are offered or do nothing, in the nude pool, it will be 100% your choice.
“interests are mainly to get to enjoy walking about naked on beautiful beaches, getting to watch people having sex” not a problem at all, you can do that if you like.
“Single men, there are too many” Yes, some times that can be a problem, however we have seen aggressive disrespectful men, ejected from the resort. There is a process, but it does happen. I’ve also seen a number of men come to the aid of a damsel in distress when some guest has been harassing them. Word spreads quickly and these folks get shunned real quick. Groping is not acceptable unless you know the person well (and they know you), and you have tacit permission. Most single men are respectful and are not a problem, but sadly, there are a few that spoil it for the rest. I wouldn’t woory about this. In ten years of visits here, I can say the wife has only had 2 negative encounters, that where shut down quickly, and evrybody went their merry way.
“Some people say you're allowed to be nude at all times, the only exception is the dining rooms and certain things must be worn” True, (and the lobby), you can read the official notice of this on the Hedo web page. However this being Hedo, the rules sometimes bend, but I’ve never seen them bent in the dinning areas. Clothing in the dinning areas is as minimal as you can get, if you want.
The resort does offer name tags, at club Hedo on check-in. Some groups go further and issue name necklaces with colour coding signifying you interests, full swap, softswap, Bi, etc.
Prude side is the most cost effective (now called the clothing option side) and sells out first. You can walk from here to the nude pool/beach, totally naked (just not through a dinning area).
“does the place allow cameras” Offically, as posted, cameras are only allowed in your room. Again, another “soft rule”. On the nude side, NEVER. Elsewhere unoffically, yes. If your discrete and ensure only you and your partner are in the frame, people do take pictures. Do remember the beach is open to the public, so anyone walking on the beach can take pictures. As well Sandals resort sends there tourist boat over, just off shore, with tourists on board, and they have camera’s. So bottom line, stay away from the beach if you camera shy, feel secure at the nude pool, and watchful elsewhere on the resort.
Also another issue in recent years is tablets and smartphones. People insist on having their tech gear with them at the beach/pool. Most are respectful, and either cover the camera with a sticker or always point the camera at the ground, or just don’t take pictures, but it is a threat if you’re camera shy. Unless the resort bans electronic devices in this area, you’ll never be 100% free of camera’s.
“Price wise” Hedo is higher priced than a vanilla resort of this quality, however, the people and the atmosphere make it worth it. Not having been to other resorts like this, I can’t comment further.

To wrap this up. I would suggest travel with a group that is of your mind set. Groups usually meet virtually before the trip, make friends, then look out for each other once at the resort. Denny, this sites host, has a list of many of the groups.

You’ll be fine, safe, and happy at this resort, no worries mon.

Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133649 12/27/2018 08:51 PM
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Hedo is good for walking naked on beautiful (sorta) beaches, getting to watch people having sex (depends on the week/place/time, but usually something going on), getting involved in at least some of the games (at your leisure). Keep an open mind re swinging words well at Hedo and you don’t have to do a thing.

Re: single men—they are rarely a problem and mostly a pleasure. But yes rudeness CAN happen—from any guest including married ones. Like you say: ask nicely but firmly for this person to get away.

Re: what is allowed and what is not allowed. Nude is everywhere except some coverage in all restaurants; piano bar & disco, unless stripping; lobby & shops. Towels, see-through, and mesh are all acceptable coverings. Exceptions have occurred. Rules sometimes are vague at Hedo.

RE: name tag or visible means of knowing what and if others are interested in anything….so NOT happening at Hedo except among certain groups, but not the norm. Guests use English to see what others are into.

Re: Price—I think Hedo II is on the low to mid side for similar resorts, esp. with the prude garden-view rooms (the least costly).
NO cameras—true, but lots of pics are taken among friends. NEVER take picsof anyone, even friends, without permission. And don’t post to Internet without permission. That said, some people abuse photos…so not cool, but a reality.

Lots of info is out there about Hedo…a travel guide even (grin!).


Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
at www.chrissantilli.com
Print, audiobook and ebooks
Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133650 12/28/2018 07:46 AM
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Funtolook, Chris' book will answer your questions and more.

Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133651 12/28/2018 08:22 AM
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W2are469 and Chris S. have given you excellent responses already.

I'll add that the group(s) that are there at the time make a big difference in the atmosphere. I won’t say anything bad about any group and what I am saying should not be taken as being derogatory or biased towards any group(s) in particular. I’ll only comment on the groups I have first hand experience with.

That being said, January is "swingers month" and if you are into swinging, the opputunities abound. Some couples are belt-notchers and it can be overwhelming for a couple that is not a hardcore lifestyler.

February brings the Fluffernutters and they are a very fun group that throw really fun afternoon pool parties. The Fluffs are maybe 50% or more lifestyle couples and always respectful.

March has Ms. No Swimsuit which is a beauty contest (sort of) where lifestyle clubs around the country send a contestant and the contestants try to win your vote by smiling pretty, making friends and on occasion, maybe giving a PDA show that may or may not involve group participation. Needless to say, Ms. No Swimsuit week has a higher majority of lifestyle couples, but overall, I would say that there are far less belt notchers and the atmosphere is more low-key than in January.

December brings Wet Wild and Wicked, sponsored by the owner of this board. It's a lower key week that really allows couples to make friends (if they choose) with others and get to know people on a "real" level. 200+ people were there with WWW in December, 2018. Some couples are into the lifestyle, everyone is respectful and the husbands will quickly shut down any person that is acting in an unwarranted way. The WWW group is a family my wife and I are glad to have found. You can read my trip report on this forum listed under 2018 - Dec '17 Jim & Loni.

Most of the above groups run additional trips at other times of the year. We have made life-long friends from every group-they are all good, just different. We live where it's cold, so we only vacation in the winter and I can only comment on the trip times above.

You can stay on the clothing-optional side and walk out of your room nude, so long as you're on the paths leading to the beach or on the beach, no problem at all.

The food is good and this year it was so good that after leaving Pastafari one night, I went to the front desk to tell management how good it was.

I wouldn't worry too much about cameras. The beach is huge and most of the pictures you see are on the prude side or on the nude beach early in the morning. There aren't many folks over there and you can take a picture without getting anyone else in the shot.

I find Hedo on the high side of normal, for the amenities offered by the hotel-You can't put a price on the atmosphere and the life-long friends you will make.

From your original post, it sounds like you are the type of couple that would enjoy Hedo and also be the type of couple others would like to meet. Go out on a limb, request a quote from DennyP. The first time I booked with him I had a ton of questions-he answered them all and offered all the right advice. I hope you make the decision to go, just be forewarned-it's life changing (in a good way) and very addictive!

Jim

Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133652 12/28/2018 11:00 AM
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The first reply started with WOW and my response to all the input has to be WOW too smile. First, I didn't expect anyone to answer everything I asked. I was throwing it out there thinking someone might answer one part, another person another part.

The only thing that bothers us is that single men are allowed. Our primary hope is to find something that is mostly couples and single women interested in couples. The thinking behind this is that depending on what we adventure into, if with a couple, there is another man therefore, not interested in seeing a ton of eager looking men. While we've read that most are very polite, friendly and don't look sad, we've also read the opposite.

I want my wife and I have fun, be open minded, enjoy the experience, stress free. We're not thinking about swinging as much as doing something incredibly liberating.

Anyways, I prefer not to dwell on this aspect and you have answered everything else I was hoping to gather for more information. I now better understand the availability/ability to wander around nude as this simply wasn't all that clear.

I guess now I have to spend some time reading more posts to get a better sense of things, interact and if I/we have any more questions, feel that it's ok to ask them.

Thanks to everyone for the information and warm welcome.


50's couple, Prescott area, seek soft swing friendship with couple that have no experiences, like us. Out of town even more fun, you host, we'll host. All we ask is that you have the time to foster a new friendship! Not interested in friend collectors.
Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133653 12/28/2018 11:33 AM
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I live on the north side of Phoenix. If we can arrange a convenient place and time to meet, I would be happy to address your questions and concerns directly. Email me denny@dennyp.com if you want to connect.


Quotes & Reservations from DennyP Travel L.L.C. - https://www.dennyp.com/dennyptravel/quote_request.htm
Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133656 12/28/2018 11:56 AM
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Speaking as a single male who goes to Hedo, I understand your concern. Some men are pushy when they get a few drinks in them, and that puts people off.
But to be fair I've seen the same bad behavior from married men who use Hedo (or any other resort) as a chance to get away from the wife: Some people don't get the lifestyle vibe where asking permission is KEY, and the men are NOT in charge.

The presence of outgoing, single women willing to experiment is never a given at these resorts (See: Unicorn), so don't feel put out if it doesn't happen. As a wiser man once told me, swinging is a three percent chance per encounter; you need mutual consent from all parties, the time and place have to be right, the vibe has to be right... and non of that is guaranteed.

Meet people, talk, listen to gossip - Hedo is as much a social event (where even chronic wall-flowers like myself learn to mingle) as a sexual one. You will be missing out if sex is the only thing on the table.

Note: don't have sex on the tables, the cleaning staff will hose you down. laugh




All in all, I'd rather be a hippy.
Re: Hi to all
Parracky Parrot #133657 12/28/2018 12:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Parracky Parrot
Speaking as a single male who goes to Hedo, I understand your concern. Some men are pushy when they get a few drinks in them, and that puts people off.
But to be fair I've seen the same bad behavior from married men who use Hedo (or any other resort) as a chance to get away from the wife: Some people don't get the lifestyle vibe where asking permission is KEY, and the men are NOT in charge.

The presence of outgoing, single women willing to experiment is never a given at these resorts (See: Unicorn), so don't feel put out if it doesn't happen. As a wiser man once told me, swinging is a three percent chance per encounter; you need mutual consent from all parties, the time and place have to be right, the vibe has to be right... and non of that is guaranteed.

Meet people, talk, listen to gossip - Hedo is as much a social event (where even chronic wall-flowers like myself learn to mingle) as a sexual one. You will be missing out if sex is the only thing on the table.

Note: don't have sex on the tables, the cleaning staff will hose you down. laugh





I'm a single guy who has been going to Hedo for 35 years...……….. I couldn't have answered you any better than Parrot just did. (Well done PP)

Alcohol, perhaps weed, and time at Hedo has an effect on people and it's not limited to single men; although lots of people apparently think it is.

You can ask all the questions you want, read all the postings you want, but nothing will answer your questions like going and experiencing it for yourself...………. Go, dive in, and experience it for yourself.

Re: Hi to all
DennyP #133658 12/28/2018 04:27 PM
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Thanks very much DennyP. I'm sharing my findings with my wife and if I find myself needing to speak with someone in person, it's great to know you're nearby smile. Thanks for the offer.


50's couple, Prescott area, seek soft swing friendship with couple that have no experiences, like us. Out of town even more fun, you host, we'll host. All we ask is that you have the time to foster a new friendship! Not interested in friend collectors.
Re: Hi to all
Parracky Parrot #133659 12/28/2018 04:39 PM
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@Parracky Parrot

Great input and perspective. Our main interest is to have an adventure, do something totally different, find a place where these kinds of activities are allowed, encouraged, fun, sexy mainly to charge each other up and get to hang out naked, something we've never done.

The wife is very comfortable naked and I figure this is something she would enjoy.

While we will probably keep adventures with others in mind, we have rather limited ideas since we aren't very interested in casual sex with others. All our ideas are mostly getting to know a couple or a woman, establishing a friendship and trying to be open to where things could go.

Watching others having sex all around us sounds like a blast but not something we'll jump into. We've hit a couple of swinger parties and found that having sex with total strangers simply doesn't excite us.

All that said, it's why I am asking a lot of questions because while the above is us, we want to remain open minded but also trying to find just the right place for us to enjoy ourselves. It often sounds like Hedo II might be overkill for us but that's why I'm reading on this site.


50's couple, Prescott area, seek soft swing friendship with couple that have no experiences, like us. Out of town even more fun, you host, we'll host. All we ask is that you have the time to foster a new friendship! Not interested in friend collectors.
Re: Hi to all
LyleM #133660 12/28/2018 05:08 PM
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Originally Posted by LyleM
Originally Posted by Parracky Parrot
Speaking as a single male who goes to Hedo, I understand your concern. Some men are pushy when they get a few drinks in them, and that puts people off.
But to be fair I've seen the same bad behavior from married men who use Hedo (or any other resort) as a chance to get away from the wife: Some people don't get the lifestyle vibe where asking permission is KEY, and the men are NOT in charge.

The presence of outgoing, single women willing to experiment is never a given at these resorts (See: Unicorn), so don't feel put out if it doesn't happen. As a wiser man once told me, swinging is a three percent chance per encounter; you need mutual consent from all parties, the time and place have to be right, the vibe has to be right... and non of that is guaranteed.

Meet people, talk, listen to gossip - Hedo is as much a social event (where even chronic wall-flowers like myself learn to mingle) as a sexual one. You will be missing out if sex is the only thing on the table.

Note: don't have sex on the tables, the cleaning staff will hose you down. laugh





I'm a single guy who has been going to Hedo for 35 years...……….. I couldn't have answered you any better than Parrot just did. (Well done PP)

Alcohol, perhaps weed, and time at Hedo has an effect on people and it's not limited to single men; although lots of people apparently think it is.

You can ask all the questions you want, read all the postings you want, but nothing will answer your questions like going and experiencing it for yourself...………. Go, dive in, and experience it for yourself.

I'll second that emotion since I'm also a single guy who's been going to Hedo for 30 years. In fact, I'm at Hedo right now for my annual NYE sojourn; my usual gang of fellow degenerates have just arrived so of course I couldn't be happier.

What I'll add is that sometimes *I've* felt uncomfortable by husbands who wanted to try a cuckold fantasy, but perhaps the less said about that the better.

Happy New Year to all in case I don't get a chance to check in again.

Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133661 12/28/2018 08:26 PM
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We've found Hedo to be wonderfully relaxing. You can do basically whatever you want... party like a rock star, or lounge in a hammock reading a book. Folks are nearly universally easygoing and friendly. You can wander around 80% of the grounds in any state of dress, including both beaches & all pools. Single folks (of both genders) are most always sociable and fun the chat with. Denny is a great resource for questions.


Chris in NC (previously VT & FL) smile
Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133662 12/29/2018 07:39 AM
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I think you are making too much of the single-guy thing. On most of our trips, we might not even notice any single guys.

Chris formerly of Vermont hit it on the head: party animal to book worm, or anything in between. Nobody mentioned all of the non-bar, pool, beach activities... what about snorkeling, tennis, paddle-boarding, sailing or scuba. Think of your H2 vacation as something like an artist's canvas. You can make it anything you want.

Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133663 12/29/2018 09:19 AM
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@Max2Deb
I wasn't trying to make it a focus, it just kinda became a topic of its own in the replies.
It's not a deal breaker anyhow, just one of the questions I wanted clarity on since all of the reading we've done so far brought that up as one.
And, I like your analogy of an artist's canvas smile.

Mainly, we're just trying to figure out if this is where we want to go or if there is something slightly tamer but not too tame that we should try first.
It would be interesting to find a resort that is more for couples that are on the fence about swinging but want to enjoy the freedom's that Hedo offers.
Reading here, I also confirm that Hedo could be that place but it seems more for full out swingers than couples like us.

That's the reason for joining and reading.


50's couple, Prescott area, seek soft swing friendship with couple that have no experiences, like us. Out of town even more fun, you host, we'll host. All we ask is that you have the time to foster a new friendship! Not interested in friend collectors.
Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133664 12/29/2018 09:23 AM
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Originally Posted by FunToLook

... but it seems more for full out swingers than couples like us.

That couldn't be farther from the truth. I think you just hear about the swinging more than anything else because it is a titilating topic. Most of the time there are more non-swingers there than swingers. Of course there are weeks that focus on swinger groups more than others. But those are only a few weeks out of the year. Even with the swinger groups, there are lots of non-swingers in them.


Quotes & Reservations from DennyP Travel L.L.C. - https://www.dennyp.com/dennyptravel/quote_request.htm
Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133665 12/29/2018 10:03 AM
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We have been 12 times since 2003 and are not swingers. We've never had an issue with single guys. There have been a couple issues with married men, but those were minor.

My wife was hesitant to go the first time so I bought her Chris Santelli's book The Naked Truth About Hedonism ll. She read the book and agreed to go. She loved it and always asks when we are going back.

Try it. I bet you will love it like we did

Re: Hi to all
DennyP #133666 12/29/2018 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted by DennyP
Originally Posted by FunToLook

... but it seems more for full out swingers than couples like us.

That couldn't be farther from the truth. I think you just hear about the swinging more than anything else because it is a titilating topic. Most of the time there are more non-swingers there than swingers. Of course there are weeks that focus on swinger groups more than others. But those are only a few weeks out of the year. Even with the swinger groups, there are lots of non-swingers in them.


Yes, I've been getting that better understanding reading more posts. Either way, it doesn't sound like we would feel out of place and would enjoy all the eye candy and taking part in several of the activities.

We enjoyed the swingers we met at the party we went to. My wife really got into it, getting up on stage for some games and then deciding to do a strip tease. We very much enjoy open minded people, love each other to death, aren't really looking for anything in particular but open minded enough to enjoy plenty of ideas.

Like many couples that aren't fully decided on such things, there is interest and apprehension at the same time. We will be going to Hedo for sure but want to understand what to expect not only there but in ourselves as well smile.



50's couple, Prescott area, seek soft swing friendship with couple that have no experiences, like us. Out of town even more fun, you host, we'll host. All we ask is that you have the time to foster a new friendship! Not interested in friend collectors.
Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133667 12/29/2018 06:21 PM
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Hedo is the perfect environment to move in/out/away/toward situations that are new for you. Sometimes you'll actually wonder where all the Lifestylers are.

Most of the time though, Hedo is a training ground for new awareness that allows you to experiment where/when/how you want...if you want.

If you don't trust each other, though, Hedo can mess up a marriage fast. You have to be able to keep communications open before, during, and after.


Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
at www.chrissantilli.com
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Re: Hi to all
gregandkelly #133668 12/29/2018 06:25 PM
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Thanks, Greg & Kelly, for the book recommendation! I've always hoped that by having gazillions of guests quoted in "The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" that I wouldn't just be giving my views.


Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
at www.chrissantilli.com
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Re: Hi to all
chris santilli #133669 12/29/2018 06:51 PM
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Joined: Dec 2018
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Originally Posted by chris santilli
Hedo is the perfect environment to move in/out/away/toward situations that are new for you. Sometimes you'll actually wonder where all the Lifestylers are.

Most of the time though, Hedo is a training ground for new awareness that allows you to experiment where/when/how you want...if you want.

If you don't trust each other, though, Hedo can mess up a marriage fast. You have to be able to keep communications open before, during, and after.


Well, we're not prudes and DO want to see other couples enjoying their freedoms. That is part of the allure along with getting to enjoy nudity near and in the ocean. The latter is the biggest reason of all that we'd like to check this out.

I agree on communicating and trusting each other. We communicate all our feelings, concerns, interests, you name it. I've read plenty of things where couples should not have experimented without much more communications however so understand the down side.

Anyhow, I kinda feel I would not have started this thread now, it's gotten long in the tooth but cannot tell you all how much I/we appreciate the input and suggestions. We'll be going out for dinner shortly and I'm sure this will be the hot topic of the evening.


50's couple, Prescott area, seek soft swing friendship with couple that have no experiences, like us. Out of town even more fun, you host, we'll host. All we ask is that you have the time to foster a new friendship! Not interested in friend collectors.
Re: Hi to all
FunToLook #133670 12/29/2018 11:07 PM
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 81
Likes: 1
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Joined: Feb 2008
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What Loni and Jim said about groups is very true.
The least of your worries should be single men.
That being said, your next mission, should you accept it, is to find a group that is of a similar “Kink” to what you two want. Again, going with a group, you get discounted rates, pre made friends (you’re not checking into a resort full of strangers), plus they will have your back if you’re harassed by ANYBODY. Groups have leaders (Den mothers!!!) that will take care of issues that arise.
Also, don’t expect the resort to be a Roman Orgy, some days nobody is having sex on the beach. Although those days are few and far between, it depends on your definition of sex, and which groups are in the resort. Also, we’ve been in the hot tub after midnight, and had it all to ourselves, then other nights there’s no room to get into the tub, or even room to sit on the edge for all the PDA’s.
So go, have fun, then you too can suffer with DIF, like the rest of us.

R


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