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Elle.com article re: Hedo2
#132105 07/15/2017 05:27 PM
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Check it out...

http://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-r...-liberate-me-but-objectified-me-instead/

I met the author (a young attractive woman) last April and she interviewed me for about an hour. She talked to lots of others too.

Her article makes me wonder if I am so deluded and brainwashed to accept a reality that lots of people go to Hedo for sex and that you must often package the product (your physical self) to get it.

Or perhaps this young woman's culture wants to change that dynamic. I can appreciate that! But I'm unsure if it's possible. Maybe in a human future I won't be alive for since I'm 57 this month. Whoo-hoo.

I do acknowledge that when I started to go to Hedo in 1995, I found that everyone wanted to talk to me since I was a young, non-repulsive woman.

For the last decade, it's taken more work for me to engage people, my being an average middle-aged broad. But I'm still female, and that quality has always had its appeal to men at Hedo.


Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
at www.chrissantilli.com
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Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132106 07/15/2017 05:51 PM
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Thanks for linking to that article; it was very interesting. The author sounds like an uptight millennial with a stick up her ass. Unless Hedo has changed a lot in the five years since my last trip, her assessment is totally off base.

Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132108 07/16/2017 12:05 AM
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Well, I have a lot to quibble about in the article she wrote.

So many things she wrote are just plain wrong. And her her built-in biases (which she is entitled to) are not mine.

Respect.


The more you look, the more you see.
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132109 07/16/2017 05:56 AM
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Happy Birthday Chris!
We read the article and question weather or not the author was at Hedo.

Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132110 07/16/2017 07:38 AM
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Another distorted article designed to sell magazines.

I'll wager that most of it was written by Ms. Weiss' editor (who was not at Hedo).

Can hardly wait for Trump's twitter comments.


If this be a dream do not wake me up; if not a dream, wish me no sleep
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132111 07/16/2017 08:32 AM
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This is pure fantasy. Whatever resort the author visited has little in common with the Hedo that I know and love.



1820.281N, 7820.570W - The true location of Paradise
(the intersection of Delroy Ave. and Scumba Rd.)
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132113 07/16/2017 02:46 PM
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Never clicked on the link Chris...reading your words made me smile. ;-)

roy


"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices...have very few virtues." Abraham Lincoln
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132114 07/16/2017 05:36 PM
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I guarantee you, she was there! I spent quite a while with her and saw her for days at the nude beach hanging out, being social.

(PS: thanks, Roy! we's aims to work doz smile muskels!)


Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
at www.chrissantilli.com
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Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
Chicago Jake #132115 07/16/2017 05:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Chicago Jake
Thanks for linking to that article; it was very interesting. The author sounds like an uptight millennial with a stick up her ass. Unless Hedo has changed a lot in the five years since my last trip, her assessment is totally off base.


IMO, her assessment is totally off base, and I think you have her pegged, Jake.

Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132116 07/16/2017 09:48 PM
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I got a kick out of the part where she was put off by her not being able to watch in the playroom...and she even called it "nonconsensual" watching...what part of that word does she not understand?

So she didn't get to objectify a couple who didn't give her permission to watch them having sex?

She thinks that women who dress sexy are objectifying themselves instead of their playing the part of the powerful seductress who's not afraid of her wielding her sexuality and granting it only where she pleases.

Housecoats and other frumpy clothing aren't usually sexy. Using heels, revealing clothing, etc. are the codes for sexy for most women who go to Hedo.

Some men wear chaps or latex and other sexy clothes, but most of the time most don't. That's just the norm of Hedo's ambiance.

There's a difference for a woman to be admired politely and for a woman to be chased by a video camera creep who is "taking" rather than "giving."

I understand, though, that this young woman was treated like meat by the Jamaicans (she reported that in her story). That's THEIR culture given her mere physicality at Hedo.

Most Hedo women would report that many Jamaica men act that way (not all do). And U.S. men often are that way too if women dress like they are at Hedo when not at Hedo.

I think the author's thesis falls flat: she wanted to be able to objectify to express her sexuality but she didn't want it back. I'm thinking goose/gander.



Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
at www.chrissantilli.com
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Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132119 07/17/2017 07:20 AM
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Take a look of the writer's picture. It's hard to take a green haired twentysomething too seriously. I would bet that her negative attitude drove off anyone that might have taken an interest in her.


"Did I.Q.s just drop sharply while I was away?"

Aliens (1986)
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132120 07/17/2017 08:46 AM
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She was appealing to the crowd there at the time. People got to know who she was and what she was there for...gossip at H2 is always rampant.

I don't remember her head hair being an odd color at the time, but that doesn't mean it wasn't. I do remember that most people were amused that she had a full bush...or was that the other sweet young thing at the hotel who definitely had full bush...I honestly can't remember...

She was friendly and not combative or whiny. At the time of my interview I didn't realize she'd use that particular comment of mine because it was a throwaway line, but I didn't know--and she wouldn't tell me--what her focus was going to be.

I didn't think she was particularly good at interviewing. She was just going to record it apparently...and hadn't asked me in advance and I refused permission and made her get paper and pen. (I'm so old school.) She didn't seem well prepared with interesting questions.

But her article was literate (or well edited).

I do know that she had a free room and free air paid by H2--at least that's what she told me. That alone appalls me because a professional journalist does not accept those kinds of gifts in return for writing. At least the story wasn't a glorious kiss-ass report...that sorta vindicates the ethics question.


Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
at www.chrissantilli.com
Print, audiobook and ebooks
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132122 07/17/2017 02:14 PM
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It just seemed like a typical self absorbed young person who gets a lot of attention wondering why she wasn't the only belle at The Ball. I get it, we were all there once and she might just look back in her more mature years to see and feel what it's all about and at that point she might see that it's not all about her standing out and being made to be the only special one. I also wonder if her experience would have been different had she gone during Young Swingers Week.

Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132123 07/18/2017 05:40 AM
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The article does not sound much like the Hedo I have been going to since 2005 or so. I checked out the author's webpage, she writes a lot about feminism and social justice issues. These are important things to learn about, but the article was written with a certain slant and for a certain purpose and I respect her right to have published whatever she wishes.


Last edited by Loni and Jim; 07/18/2017 12:48 PM. Reason: typing too quickly, while at work
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132124 07/18/2017 09:41 AM
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Just to be persnickety...grin!...She didn't publish it...Elle.com chose to publish (disseminate) it. She wrote it and was paid by Elle.com to do so.

I agree--Elle.com likely wanted a certain slant. Whether the writer knew her initial slant or not, she didn't share with me when I asked. But the odds are high she pitched the story to Elle.com with that slant. Most publications want to know the direction of the story before they make an initial commitment to it.


Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
at www.chrissantilli.com
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Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132125 07/18/2017 11:15 AM
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I am biased because I am the same age as Chris, but as an mature woman and a feminist, I appreciate Hedo much more than the younger much more insecure version of myself. Perhaps the young woman who wrote this article would have found what she was looking for if she had been at Hedo when the Bloom Group was in the house.... I certainly understand her desire to ogle gorgeous men without inhibition. Only when this woman is much older and if she goes to Hedo repeatedly, will she appreciate just how far the Hedo experience flies in the face of social norms.


"Your clothes conceal much of your beauty, yet they hide not the unbeautiful...meet the sun and the wind with more of your skin...For the breath of life is the sunlight and the hand of life is the wind ....". Kahlil Gibran
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132126 07/20/2017 04:37 AM
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Never been in the play room when anyone else was in there so I do not know the rules for certain, but it is not set up with bleachers, so I must presume that it is not meant for spectator sports.

As for being leered at by men, while you are naked....And men made passes at you? really? That happens? Seriously???? I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you! Close the place down! <yawn>

I found this article to be somewhat exaggerated. Let's face it, if that fish wrapper of an article were anywhere close to a true representation, very very few of us women would return.

JMHO
Judy


Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132127 07/20/2017 11:30 AM
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From reading most of the article & posts, it sounds like she totally missed the point. Her closing line says it all: "... It means men looking into my eyes, no matter what I'm wearing, and letting me look back." That's exactly what I see happening in the vast majority of cases at hedo (moreso than at other resorts). Your smile and attitude count more than your body shape. Perhaps she just has a psychological axe to grind and looked for examples that fit her narrative....? Chris S. - Did you get any hints like that from her (lousy) interviewing? smile Cheers!!


Chris in FL (previously VT)
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132128 07/20/2017 01:45 PM
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Hi Chris!
I think she just was looking for me to give her information that would lead to a better story, but she didn't ask good questions so I didn't help her out. I had no vested interest in helping make her story good because I didn't feel like she had enough background/research about Hedo in the first place.

I wonder if the "letting me look back" meant in their eyes? From her other comments, I'd think not? But she wasn't specific at the end so I'm only inferring.


Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
at www.chrissantilli.com
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Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132129 07/20/2017 07:48 PM
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Interesting thought. On the surface, it seems like she wanted to look back into hunky mens' eyes..... But maybe that pesky psychological thing weighed in and she meant looking elsewhere at those dudes....? laugh

Her story seemed to me to be a repetitive restatement of how scummy men are, and how she was routinely downtrodden and 'objectified'. Sounds like it's lousy to be her. Maybe she just didn't get the notion of 'respect'.


Chris in FL (previously VT)
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132131 07/21/2017 08:00 AM
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Oh, hell. I've objectified the hunky men at Hedo with my gaze, just as when I was a sweet young thing it was done to me. Isn't that called life? Admiration for beauty?

I have a distinct memory of my friend Teresa and I sitting in lounge chairs on the beach when a particularly good-looking man was walking by and we both picked up our books to play like we were reading so we could watch him over the books. Then we realized the books were upside down after he passed by...grin!

Granted, there are in-your-face ways of doing it that are socially maladjusted or creepy.


Regards,
Chris
"The Naked Truth About Hedonism II" New 3rd edition!
at www.chrissantilli.com
Print, audiobook and ebooks
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132132 07/21/2017 12:30 PM
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First of all Happy Birthday Chris.
Secondly, read the article and am also of the opinion that the author has some sort of axe to grind and was disappointed, as someone else put it, that she was not the "belle of the ball". Strange that she felt it was perfectly fine to stare at people but not allow them to look back. Sounds like she feels the rest of the guests are not worthy.
Certainly she does not describe the Hedo I know.


J and G in Montreal
Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132214 08/17/2017 05:52 PM
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I saw this article on a private Hedo site and here was my original thought. I have been corrected that single women are allowed in.

How did she get in the playroom by herself? Thought it was couples or couples and +1 to get in. Single men are not allowed in. If she just wanted to gawk go to their room, if they'd have her. Sounds like she has a real chip on her shoulder. And by what she says, a pair of great boobs. Guess she never watched the male entertainers. If she wants to look at men, there's a start. What a crock of bull!

Thanks Chris for confirming that she really did talk with you. Sounded like a short conversation smile

Re: Elle.com article re: Hedo2
chris santilli #132260 09/06/2017 12:24 PM
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Gee I miss everything. I was there the same time as Chris and didn't hear a thing about this woman. We must consider the source which is put into perspective when you consider the title of her other featured articles published by Elle; "The "Pussy Pastor" wants you to know that Jesus had sex" and " I got six shots in my vagina in the name of 'Empowerment' " Her take on Hedo does not reflect the Hedo I have visited over the past 29 years.


Anita

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