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| Hedonism II |
Trip report,
Hedo 3
08/25/07 – 09/04/07
Mark & Julie (Woofie)
Well I suppose I should try to follow the loose template that most people have been adhering to… so I’ll start with the obvious.
The travel portion: Actually, I wrote this part and then decided that I really didn’t want people reading this to be hit in the face with a big ol’ negative, so I moved it to the end of the trip report. I am going to jump straight to the arrival at Mobay airport…
Every time we fly into Sangster they’ve added even more
to the airport. This time it
was kind of fun. We walked for
probably a good five minutes up stairs, down ramps,
along hallways, back up stairs, through this labyrinth of plywood and
temporary walls to eventually burst out into the oh so familiar immigration
area All I can say is,
the American airports could learn a thing or two about efficiency
from the people at Sangster.
There were about fifty people ahead of us in line, and it took all of five
minutes before we were on our way down to customs.
There, it was the same efficiency once again.
This was most certainly a pleasant change from the “soon come”
attitude of most of the service people in
I have a theory about the Superclubs lounge. I think that they time their shuttle busses to coincide with the Air Jamaica arrivals. On all of our previous trips, we have no sooner walked into the lounge than they had whisked us off to the bus. Julie actually has complained that she doesn’t even get a chance to sit down, let alone go to the bathroom, or even open that bottle of water! This time we got a chance to sit there for at least ten minutes before we were called to go to the bus. A first for us.
Every time we go back, they have a little bit more of the road completed, so the trip keeps getting smoother and quicker. The only bad thing is that you pretty much bypass all those little towns that you used to drive through. It makes for a faster ride, but you don’t get any chance to see real Jamaican culture along the way like you used to.
There is one funny thing, if you can call it funny. The “halfway point” bathroom/beer stop was pretty much ten minutes before our destination. What’s the point of that? I guess the new road no longer goes by the old spot where the bus always used to stop. Too bad for those people. I’m sure they’ve probably gone out of business by now.
We met one couple on the bus from NYC and pretty much became fast friends. They were tremendously fun! We found that we have tons of stuff in common, and we wound up spending a big chunk of our time with them in the ensuing week.
Check-in:
Once again, no different than all of our previous trips, check in went smoothly with nary a hitch. We asked if it would be possible to switch our room for one that would be more accessible from the nude pool and were told “ No problem”. I think the relative low occupancy that week played a part in that. The girl said that the new room would be ready in about an hour, so we made dinner reservations at Pastafari with our new friends and went to the Reggae café for some lunch. So far everything we encountered was perfect. I could get used to this!
The daily grind:
Ok, here’s the part where it gets a bit repetitive….
Our days ran together with little or no variation from one to the next. We would get up every morning at the crack of ten… As the week wore down it started to get harder and harder to make it out to breakfast by closing time at 11:00. Anyway, breakfast at the buffet; Julie says the omelet station is wonderful as always. I actually tried the Akee and Saltfish for the first time… YUMMY!!! But watch out for bones! Otherwise we always had pretty much the same breakfast every day, heavy on the fresh fruit ‘n stuff. We’ve never been big pineapple fans, but the fresh Jamaican pineapple is simply delicious! It’s almost the main staple of my daily breakfast.
After breakfast it’s time to slather on thick layers of sunscreen. Let’s not forget those “sensitive” areas… no such thing as too much sunscreen there!
Julie- “Mark, what are you doing?”
Mark- “I’m helpin’ ya!”
Julie- “I’m sure I’ve got more than enough sunscreen on those by now…”
Mark- “Come on now, you can never be too careful!”
Once that task is completed it’s out to the nude pool ! We have a pretty low opinion of people who go out at the crack of dawn and put a shoe or a book on lounge chairs in order to “save” a good spot. So we always just grab whatever chair is available when we are actually ready to hit the pool deck. My personal favorite is the people who are so rude and egocentric that they “claim” a pair of chairs in the shade and a pair in the sun so they can jump back and forth. Fortunately it was a slow week and available chairs were never an issue, but come on people!
Anyway, the days sort of ran together, we would lounge about and watch Tim, the human dynamo, run laps in the pool. Eventually a volleyball game would start up and I would join. The days pretty much blended from one to the next in an idyllic haze. Our previous trips have taught Julie that in order to survive the late nights she needs a nap in the afternoon. Therefore every day at around 5 or 6 she would retire to the room and I’d go hang out, playing pool, or chatting with people at the main bar.
Later every evening we would do dinner. Although the buffet is terrific, we do like the opportunity to sit down, relax, and have someone bring us all of our food and drinks. Not to mention, you can actually get a decent bottle of wine in the two sit – down restaurants. I’m sure you’ve all figured out to steer clear of the wine at the main bar. So we just alternated between Pastafari and Munasan every night. Munasan is great because it affords you the chance to meet new people every time. And we certainly met lots of wonderful people! I have figured out that I’m pretty ambivalent about sushi, I can take it or leave it… but I LOVE wasabi ! So the sushi and tempura is always my favorite part.
Anyway, the service, quality etc. at both the sit down restaurants was absolutely top notch every night.
Over the years the portions at Pastafari have gotten quite a bit smaller, but to be honest, by the time you do all the antipasti, bread ‘n stuff I’m already full. But some of the people with bigger appetites than mine just order a pasta dish and an entree, or two entrees, so it’s all good.
The Piano bar:
This was the one area that caused me the most trepidation in the weeks leading up to our trip. I am a piano bar junkie… I love to sing. In fact, I think the way I phrased it was something like this:
With me, singing is a lot like sex, I may not be as good at it as many people, but I can damn sure guarantee you I enjoy it more!
Anyway, we had heard through Denny’s posting board that Glen had been let go. We absolutely love Glen and have actually become pretty close to him over the years, even meeting his family a couple of times. This news really saddened us and we most certainly had our doubts concerning the “new guy’s” ability to fill Glen’s shoes adequately.
Suffice it to say, our fears were put to rest!
John, the new guy, is a wonderful entertainer! And he managed to take Glen’s place and shine the only way you might possibly do so successfully… by being nothing like Glen. There’s no doubt that Glen was wonderful, however, John is wonderful as well. Just very different. For one thing, he’s very soft spoken, polite and proper in a dry, “British” sort of way. He also has an incredible repertoire of songs at his fingertips (pun intended). I thought I knew a lot of songs, but I could not stump the guy! If you go and you want to sing a song that isn’t in the book, try him, chances are he’ll know it.
Tantra week:
This week was the week that Kim & Brad come and teach tantra classes. As it turned out, whenever it was time for the class, it seemed to start raining, so it was a perfect opportunity to get indoors and do something fun.
The first class we attended involved blindfolding your partner and then stimulating their various senses, one at a time using various different scented oils for smell, foods for taste, unusual props for sound, and interesting stuff for touch ( use your imagination here…). The funny thing about this class was at the very beginning, right before we blindfolded our partners, someone asked if we should disrobe. Brad, the male instructor said “That’s up to you, if you think it would make you more comfortable, then by all means take it off.”
I don’t think I’ve seen a room full of people get naked in such record time in my life ! There was actually one couple from the prude side who chose to keep their clothes on, and two single people who had never met before who also decided they would be more comfortable clothed, but it was all good. Everyone was very comfortable, relaxed and I think many of us even learned a few new tricks…
The next day’s class involved “the “G”oddess spot”. This time boys and girls were separated into two different rooms for the “lecture” portion of the class. Then we all joined back together for the “lab” portion. The men, now armed with their new knowledge were s’posed to find, and release their partner’s inner ‘G’oddess within the time constraints of the classroom. Occasionally during this exercise Brad and Kim, the instructors, would call out suggestions ‘n stuff. “Ok guys, why don’t you try “X” technique now?” Or “Ok now try ‘this’ for a while.” It was a bit distracting, but in a funny way. “Come on guys! I’m trying to concentrate here!!!!”
Incidentally, we did manage to get an “A” in class that day. ;-)
The following day was “Snake charming” (no reptiles were involved). The format was pretty much the same as the Goddess spot class, only reversed. I’m sure you get the picture.
There were two other classes that we did not make it to. Our busy schedule was just too overwhelming! LOL
Signs of competition:
Now that there are a couple of new resorts that are directly competing with the Hedonism franchise, we have finally seen the first physical sign of Hedo’s reaction to that competition.
They have recently installed a few outdoor beds around the resort, not unlike the ones at Desire. There are two of them on the prude side near the beach, and two more next to the sauna at the corner of buildings five and six. The ones at the prude side always seemed to have a male employee of two hovering about, no doubt hoping to get an eyeful. However the ones over on the nude side did not seem to have that problem. I do have one suggestion here. Make sure if you are planning to have a bit of naughty fun under the stars, that you bring a sheet. Those weatherproof mattresses are a bit rough, and can be somewhat abrasive “if ya know what I mean”.
Towards the end of our stay, a group arrived called the “Bare-ass Buccaneers”. Although they were not a particularly large group (about thirty people) they were certainly exuberant, and spoiling for a non-stop party! The energy level over at the nude side definitely went up several notches.
Some of the funnier
lines overheard along the way:
One night, while we were chatting with our friend Mike in the hot tub, A very drunk guy came up behind him and proceeded to hug him. Mike stiffened, his eyes got really big and he said: “ Oh god… Please tell me that’s a woman with a hairy chest!”
During casual conversation in the pool, we were all introducing ourselves…
Hawk: “We belong to a group called the Hedo Hellions. We come here every year in June.”
Richard: (glancing at his wrist) “You’re late.”
One night in the piano bar, we cajoled and prodded a gal who was a bit of a wallflower into singing one song on microphone. 30 minutes later, she was still hard at it, belting out song after song, showing no signs of stopping. Her date came up to us and said “Ok, which one of you put the crazy glue on the friggen mic?”
And then there was that one afternoon when we were sitting in the hot tub. “Furnace” the EC was doing his thing with the p.a. system by the bar, and I challenged him to a “dance-off”… What the hell was I thinking? I only hope what transpired next was entertaining for everyone watching. Because I’ve never felt so white, old, and uncoordinated in my life!!!
Comparison of winter
vs. summer travel:
I did want to take a moment to list a couple of observations we made with regard to comparing winter travel and summer travel.
In the winter time:
No mosquitoes! We’ve been to Hedo eight times during the winter months (November / February ) and neither one of us has ever been bitten by or talked to anyone who was bitten by a mosquito, no-see-um, or any other biting, stinging insect. This time Julie was bitten several times, and many other people we spoke with had also been having a running battle with the little buggers.
Higher occupancy.
Winter time is
No issues with hurricanes. Yup, at least you don’t have that particular specter looming overhead for the weeks leading up to, and during your much anticipated and very expensive vacation….
Escape from winter’s icy grip!
Before we relocated to
In the summertime:
(suddenly I’ve got Mungo Jerry running through my head… )
Better prices. Since summer is considered “low” season, the prices tend to be cheaper.
Warmer.
Yes, even in the
Lower occupancy. It was really nice to actually be able to get restaurant reservations every day without having to jump in the moment they opened the next day’s reservation book. Also, there were never issues with running out of available lounge chairs at the nude pool. That alone sells me on which season is better!!!!
Better sunsets. We noticed that in the summer, the sun sets over the water. While in the winter it sets over the land. Those water sunsets are so much more beautiful!!!!!!!
Now back to that air
travel stuff…
On our previous 7 trips we flew Air
Anyway, this time we decided to stray from our comfort
zone and give Spirit Airlines a try.
We have heard a few people speak well of them, so we thought, “What
the heck?” We were able
to depart from
Suffice it to say… We will never make the mistake of flying Spirit Air lines ever again!
First let me just list some of the minor annoyances:
Upon check in, we were informed that we were required to pay ten dollars a piece for checked baggage. Ok, I have a few different complaints here. First and foremost, this was the very first we heard of this! There was absolutely no mention of this charge when we purchased the tickets! That’s just sleazy, there’s no other word for it. I realize it’s only $20, but for pity’s sake, just charge me an extra $10 for the ticket and forgo the sticker shock at the ticket counter. I really feel sorry for the poor ticket agents who had to endure the full wrath of the pissed-off customers. Having to have the same argument over and over while the line of customers keeps getting longer and everyone keeps getting more angry due to the delay while people have to scramble to fish out cash or dig out their credit cards for a charge that they’re disgusted with having to pay in the first place.
Oh, if only that was the only annoyance… Let’s see… they do not have any pillows or blankets on the planes. “What the heck is up with that??!!” Then, there’s the fact that they charge you for the stupid pretzels and soda during the drink service. Once again I say: Just charge me an extra two dollars for my plane ticket! Do you people have no concept whatsoever of customer satisfaction? Return business?
So, those were some of the “annoying” things about Spirit that we encountered. Now let’s move on to the really crappy thing.
When we changed planes in
All I can say is.
“I’m sorry we ‘cheated’ on air
In summation….
Well guys, despite the airline related travel woes, this was one awesome trip! One of our best yet. We met so many wonderful people!!!! One bad thing, our collection of e-mail addresses from new friends seems to have come up MIA. If any of you who remember us, were waiting to hear from us… Please send an e-mail !!! I’m sorry I’m so dang disorganized.
We are already trying to decide how soon we can book the next trip. No doubt it’ll wind up being long before we can actually afford it. Hedo soon come…….
Mark (woofie)
and Julie from
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