Les - January, 2013
Desire/Cancun January 2013
We do plan to
go back again, so take any criticisms in that vein. We are
tried-and-true Hedonism II repeaters, which concerned me about
going to Mexico, having heard about their beans. Get it? Beans …
repeaters? Sigh –
moving on.
We booked our
first visit to Desire RM through our travel agent and got a good
price – but still stiffer than Hedo (expect more comparisons of
Hedo). We found our own air – what a delight flying non-stop. I
was miffed that United Airlines charges $8 for movies; not even
free music was offered. Customs and immigration was a breeze,
but you do have to run your luggage through a detector in
customs to bring it into Mexico (looking for weapons?).
The travel
agent setup the hotel shuttle transfer; they were easy to find
after we ran the gauntlet of time-share agents standing
immediately outside the exit doors. Travel time to the resort is
about 20 minutes. But it took about 20-25 min. for the shuttle
service to get us a van.
Desire’s
spic-and-span lobby is modern and welcoming. After the
usual sign-in paperwork, we were given room-temp sweet champagne
with no non-alcoholic option offered. The bellman took us to our
Garden View room. If the Hedo rooms are 2 or 3 star, then these
are 3 or 4 star. Each room has a coffee maker and a daily
stocked (no charge) refrigerator filled with beer, soda pop, and
bottles of water.
We never
reached consensus of whether it is okay to drink the tap water.
I brushed my teeth with tap; the wife didn’t. I didn’t get
Montezuma’s revenge, but he did wag his finger at me—nothing
Pepto-Bismol couldn’t fix. I wasn’t bold enough to ask about the
source of the restaurants’ water, yet drank plenty of it as did
the wife.
Back to the
room. The wife kept the remote control for the air conditioner
on her side of the bed (great for hot flashes). My two biggest
gripes about the room, no chair(s) and the bathroom lighting was
dim (score “1” for Hedo). Heck, the whole room with all the
lights on was dim. And with some of the drawers being black
inside, that's vaguely annoying. Because of the weak light, the
shaving mirror and the morning sun was a blessing.
All rooms are
non-smoking. Ours, a second-floor one, smelled musty unless we
had the A/C on. Our neighbors were quiet, but the wife said she
could hear me come up the outside stairs 4 rooms down. But she
can hear me fart from another floor of our house.
Outside the
room is a deck with 4 chairs and small table. Free Wi-Fi was
spotty from our room but mostly usable. We never turned the TV
on. The clock radio has an iPod docking station, but no Aux port
for my tablet computer to use its speakers.
Messages from
the front desk come in two ways: #1 slipped under the door, or
#2 hanging on the outside door handle. The phone has a message
button on it but no one used it; they used paper instead.
The shower door
allowed water to freely flow into the bathroom – we learned to
roll up the bathmat to stop the puddles. Received tons of fresh
towels/hand towels, and washcloths daily. We called maintenance
twice and they came fast and fixed things...score 1 for Desire
compared with Hedo.
I can sleep on
almost any bed and this one was no exception … once we removed
all the accessory pillows it was actually comfortable. The
room’s color scheme is cream/gold/black/brown, but it worked as
a contemporary look. Tile floors were slippery in the room, but
not in the bathroom. Attractive bedside carpets were a nice
touch. (Score 1 for Desire).
Our maid kept
the room spotless, yet I still washed out the drinking glasses
with rubbing alcohol. I've seen too many scary YouTube videos.
Dining is set
up with three restaurants set up side-by-side (sharing a common
kitchen): the Japanese, the buffet, and the international. The
former and the latter each close one or two nights each week.
Immediately outside is the poolside open-air buffet where lunch
(and one day, breakfast) is served.
Breakfast was
usually served at the indoor buffet. We regret that Desire does
not offer common tables such as we see at Hedo and Club Med, so
6-8 strangers could be seated together. In fact, dinner at the
buffet, the host tries to seat couples with an empty table
buffering in between when possible.
The
international and Japanese restaurants are always packed but
don’t expect to make friends across tables easily. The two
restaurants don’t take reservations, but I found we could get
short-term ones (e.g. 15 – 30 minutes ahead of seating).
The buffet’s
and pool café food was good, but the other two had great-tasting
food. The specialty restaurants offered even fancier meals for a
significant upcharge, but why pay extra for the bonus steak when
the house cut was so good?! Hint, if you want the bigger cut –
order a second one of the house’s. Our favorite dish – the beef
carpaccio in the international restaurant; the corn/mushroom
soup was incredible too says the wife.
The low points
of the dining experience was the smoking allowed at the poolside
café and the house wine – the shiraz was the only one we found
palatable (for a better wine, bring your own “Two Buck Chuck”).
Table service was good with an occasional very good.
May I rant?
If you have a bare bottom,
please bring something
with you to the restaurant to sit on. The seats are upholstered
(non-removable cushions) with a fabric with a slight nap. Many a
night my wife presented me with a washcloth to carry for her to
use as a gasket between her parts and the upholstery. At Hedo,
they at least send out the cushions for cleaning semi-regularly.
The cushions at Desire didn’t look dirty, but the wife says she
can’t imagine how they clean them after all the naked bottoms
(from gals in short dresses).
Ambience was
very good, i.e. the background music in all the eateries allowed
us to talk without lip reading or repeatedly saying “What?” The
morning music couldn’t have been better, while some traditional
Mexican music would have been appreciated at the other meals or
pool (just to remind us we were another county). The music
varied during the day from 70s or 80s hits to jazz to new age.
Sitting near the pool speakers was too loud especially when the
techno music was frequently playing.
Daytime
entertainment was livelier than we expected. The ECs
(entertainment coordinators) kept things lively around the pool
from 10 to 4-ish. As
mentioned the music got cranked up (but still not as loud as
Hedo), making conversation difficult, so after a couple of days
we retreated to the beach.
The theme
nights I felt fell flat.
Only a minority dressed for the theme, less than Hedo
(which has been declining participation too).
After dinner
there is outdoor entertainment at the main gathering area next
to the lobby. It ran from hokey to captivating – depends on the
night. We like to dance, and two nights had live bands that we
could dance to; got in a Rumba or two plus some Cha-Chas, but
our favorite is the Swing. <wink>
After the
nightly entertainment people filter out, some to the hot tub,
others (us) to our rooms, and many upstairs over the lobby to
the disco and sin room (there is a love swing in there).
Speaking of the
hot tub (technically it is a spa, but let’s not nitpick)
traditionally, after 4 o’clock many guests retreat to the hot
tub for adult merriment. There will always be some sort of PDPs
(public display of porn). The bar has a swim up side to it. The
hot tub is posted for No Smoking, which the smokers laugh at –
expect to see in the water one or two butts more than people.
If you are a
germ-phobe –this is not the place for you. Virtually no one uses
the shower before getting in the hot tub. My wife assures us
that sperm sinks, so we know at least one product that is NOT in
the smega scum floating at the surface. By 6 the PDPs become
more prevalent as others leave to cleanup for the evening.
Nudity: allowed
throughout the resort in open areas: bars, beach, pool,
walkways, etc. A sign at the pool café tells guests topless is
allowed. Slut wear is allowed in all the restaurants, while men
wear resort casual (e.g. button shirt, slacks, loafers – no
t-shirts, sandals, shorts). At the disco, the women get sluttier
and most men loosen more buttons.
Expect no PDPs
except at the hot tub
or disco – the beach is patrolled, in part, for this prevention.
Of course, late at night, public places aren’t patrolled, so
rules are made to be broken. Poolside, nudity was clearly the
majority, but nobody was teased for their use of linens. Rare
were cover-ups at the hot tub. One
way too gorgeous
couple - I mean “bite your knuckle good looking,” always came to
the hot tub in their swim suits. Toward the end of the week when
she dropped her top, I was too busy looking at her to report his
attire (or lack thereof).
If you are new,
expect to be given a sales pitch for timeshare with RIU (we
didn't attend the meeting) – it’s not for us, so I can’t tell
you much about it except that some rather intelligent people
have bought into it.
At poolside is
an excursion desk where you can sign up for trips and scuba. We
went to the ruins at Tulum and Chichen Itza on guided tours.
This is the stuff we travel for and therefore ate it up. Desire
had a "Desire only" group leaving on Wednesday ($99/head) for
Tulum (11am-5:30pm) and Friday ($115/head) for Chichen Itsa
(9am-6pm). The group was 6 for Tulum and 8 for Chichen Itsa— us
and Europeans.
Tour prices
were a bit more than we expected, but we’d pay it again for the
experience (I suspect a markup by the travel desk). We use our
Capital One MasterCard to avoid international money exchange
fees. While on the subject of money, the exchange rate while we
were visiting was $13 pesos to the dollar at the hotel, but the
travel desk charged $12 pesos to the dollar, a 2% to 3% markup,
and the result on our Mastercard was slightly higher than the
quoted US dollar prices above. We also tipped the guide $10 for
each trip and the bus driver $4. The Europeans/Russians with us
from Desire were not tippers, but that's a cultural difference.
I suggest if
you see both, start with Tulum, then Chichen Itza. We had low
expectations for Tulum that were dashed upon our arrival. Tulum
is smaller, but at a lovelier setting. Both places our driver
told the guide to give us 45 minutes to an hour for shopping, of
which our group overruled so we could enjoy the guide and the
ruins longer. Both our guides were knowledgeable and friendly.
Climbing the ruins was halted years ago; everything is
roped off so you can take beautiful pictures without a gazillion
tourists all over the monumental buildings.
Weather: We
visited in January, my advice to you for summer tours (above) –
don’t go! It’ll be triple Fahrenheit digits with little shade!
If you ignore my warning and do go to the ruins anyway, consider
an umbrella. At the resort the January temperature was mid-80’s
F. with overcast and a threat of rain that never happened. Few
played in the surf for long - just enough time to pee or wash
off sea gull shit.
I scuba dive.
While at Desire RM I had one of my best and one of my
worst dives. I had the option of using a (cheaper) dive shop
located up the beach but was lured to the convenience of the
service being right at my doorstep. Rueben is in charge of the
scuba operation and was helpful. Weather initially prevented
dives, but he suggested cenote (cavern) diving. They supply all
the scuba gear you need. It is good gear too. Regardless, I
brought my own wet suit (3 mil) and mask. Cenote water temp was
around 78 F. and the ocean a tad warmer.
Now, I’d heard
about men not being allowed into the specialty restaurants at
Desire because they wore sandals (depends on the host in
charge), so when Rueben was gearing me up, he asked to see my
sandals. “Boy,” I thought, “this is a boutique dive shop if they
are concerned what I wear.” Nope, he just wanted to see my shoe
size for the fins.
The cenotes we
went to, Chac Mool and Kukulkan, were less than an hour south of
Desire RM – outside of Tulum. Again, the price was high, but I
was having the scuba diving jones. I had two 45-minute dives in
one of the most impressive scenes I’ve been in. Moving from the
fresh water on top through the halocline (brackish water) toward
the sea water at the bottom (at 30 feet deep) was surreal with
the water distortion.
Note: they want you to have at least 30 dives under your
belt—buoyancy control is critical.
The weather got
better by my last day so I tried ocean scuba. I shouldn’t have
gone; they shouldn’t have offered. We attempted a dive,
long-story-short: 3 -4 ft. waves, 10 ft. vis., major surge - I
got back early with a refund and a strained back.
Before the dive we motored down to Desire Pearl to pick up the
dive master’s gear, which gave me time to walk the grounds.
Pretty much the same, it seemed quieter (I’ve been told “boring”
by guests who came to our Desire RM to escape it); the hot tub
impressed me and the pool was different (in a nice way). If it
were the same price as Desire RM, then my wife and I might go
there (but it isn’t).
BTW, the two resorts allow guests to have free day passes
between each. Walking to Desire Pearl on the beach would take
way more than an hour, but the taxi ride is short.
My impression
of the guests during our January stay: just over half are
American. The couples had an average age (I hazard a guess) of
40. English was spoken by virtually everyone, some to a lesser
degree, often asking the other half to translate. We met guests
from Germany, Lithuania, Mexico, Columbia, Russia, UK, France,
Canada, etcetera. The crowd was a little quiet for our
taste—lots of newbies, with a healthy dose of regulars and the
hotel was maybe just over half full.
I found the guests were not as approachable as at Hedo (or Club
Med). Know that the wife and I are older than the average (50’s)
and are considered, at worst, normal-looking (generally fit and
no warts) and we like meeting new people, BUT we had difficulty
making friends—not fuck buddies, just friends. It was as if most
were
just looking for a fuck; sure, couples would talk to us
politely, but one or the other’s eyes were drifting as if to see
who they could hook up with.
Twice my wife and I got looks from hard-bodied babes that
conveyed “Why are you wasting my time? I won’t fuck you.” We
have written off our discontent to us being newbies and not
quite with the flow. But we did find our groove by the end of
the week—esp. with folks our age and older (some were
Lifestylers, many not). We left knowing only one couple we’ll
keep in touch with. Most couples there had heard of Hedo but
many had not been yet, nor planned to. Many were Desire
repeaters.
Next visit we’ll add our own group of friends to our packing
list. We will return, but first a trip to Desire Los
Cabos....but only with friends.