Ralph & Mary - Various Dates
We were at Desire Cancun 3/05, 12/06 and 3/08
We were at Hedonism II 12/27/08-1/1/09.
Desire vs. Hedonism: the
Definitive Report
Why this Report
We recently returned from 5 nights at Hedonism II, including New Year’s Eve (NYE). Because we read many messages – on several trip advisors and resort message boards -- asking which resort -- Hedo or Desire -- is better we decided to describe our experiences at both resorts. This report is for someone who has not visited either resort or who has gone to one but not the other. Warning: this report is long and sometimes boring!
We’re kidding about this being “definitive.” We’re simply trying to provide our impressions on this hotly debated topic. Others may draw different lessons. We were not at either resort during a Lifestyle Takeover
We provided detailed reports on Desire, shortly after our newbe visit four years ago (“Desire Sex”) and again after our second visit (“Desire More Sex”), focusing mainly on the sexual conduct of guests – a topic we had, surprisingly not found in many trip advisor reports. The first described some of our pre-Desire concerns and how we resolved them; the second expressed the views of seasoned “experts” (well, at least we were more confident). If anyone is interested in these detailed reports, which we posted on the Desire website but have long since disappeared, please email us at honeygirlsugar@yahoo.com
To give a teaser, we would like to return to both resorts. We would not recommend Hedo III in Ocho Rios for reasons we would be willing to share with anyone interested.
About Us
To provide some context, the she is 52 and the he is 60. We are both trim and in excellent health. The he has traveled all over the world; the she visited 5 countries. We’ve both had a reasonable number of past sexual encounters before meeting (including previous marriages) – let’s say experienced but not promiscuous -- and have been monogamous ever since (that’s our stories, and we’re sticking to them!)
During our first trip to Desire, we resolved to do nothing more with others than light foreplay. That commitment was easy to agree and to keep – because nothing happened that even tempted either of us (and we discussed anyone who either of us considered enticing). Since meeting some attractive couples at Desire and gaining confidence in our relationship, we are now open to swapping under the right circumstances – which have not occurred (but probably would have at least once at Desire with more time). We are not judging anyone, just informing readers who might have different expectations.
With the stage set, we’ll move on to comparing the resorts – first the scene and then the action. We enjoyed excellent weather at both resorts, so that is not a factor in this report.
Our In-country Arrival and Transportation
In-country arrival now is about the same in
In
Check-in and Staff Attitude
Check-in at Desire is much nicer than at Hedo. The reception staff at Desire treated us as welcomed guests; at Hedo we felt like we were an annoyance. Simple requests for maps, an activities schedule, tours outside Hedo, and other information seemed too burdensome for the Hedo staff. The request for a Spa Menu was ignored. A small thing, but at Hedo we were initially sent to the wrong room which was already occupied, and fortunately there was nobody in the room when we opened the door; we promptly received another room. Thumbs up to Desire for check-in.
Other services at Desire also were better. For example, staff waited on guests – bringing drinks and food -- around the pool and at the beach; this did not occur at Hedo. We encountered friendly and responsive staff at both resorts, as well as staff who could care less. On balance, Desire gets the nod for overall services.
Facilities and Rooms
The overall size of Hedo appeared to be 2-3 times that of Desire. The occupancy rates seemed to be high at both resorts – so, there were obviously many more people at Hedo than at Desire – which can be both a plus and a minus (more on the people later).
We chose an ocean-view on the prude side at Hedo and an ocean view at Desire. Permit us a brief digression. Establishing separate accommodations and beaches for nude vs. prude seems anachronistic. Maybe when Hedo opened 27 years ago, this made sense; it no longer does. We spent most of our time on the beach on the nude side, as did most guests. That said, we found the rooms on the prude side to be quieter – based on our observations and what people who stayed on the nude side told us – so maybe there is a reason to keep the distinction. The building exterior on the nude side seemed newer than on the prude side, but we did not go inside to compare rooms.
The ocean view at Desire was worth the extra price, but not at Hedo. At Desire, you can sit on a porch and enjoy morning coffee and the delights of the ocean’s sights, sounds, and smells. At Hedo, the ocean is seen from inside the room and at a distance. For the relatively little time we spent in the room, we will probably book a garden view (prude side) when returning to Hedo but still seek an ocean view at Desire.
The rooms themselves were comparable at Hedo and Desire. The beds at both were too hard (Desire wrote to us to say that they are changing the mattresses), but maybe firmness is best for group activities! Both rooms had in-house coffee pots (almost a necessity for the he) and hair dryers. The room at Hedo was larger and provided a spacious vanity table with wall mirror for the she to apply make-up – a nice touch – but even better (at least for the he) were the huge mirrors on the ceiling and the wall in front of the bed. Hedo wins the applause meter for rooms (inside), while Desire for access to the ocean (as explained above).
We’d give the beach at Hedo the superior rating over Desire. The nude side beach at Hedo had sharp rocks, but with careful walking and then floating, these were not a problem. (A few people wore rubber shoes in the water.) The water was clear and a wonderful temperature. Some couples told us that walking for seven miles is possible along Negril – something we wanted to do, but were too busy relaxing. The beach at Desire had seaweed every time we were there, and walking a distance more than a few hundred yards was not advisable. (One couple told us that they were attacked by dogs at some private houses and escaped by dashing into the ocean.) The pier at Desire, there during our first trip, was washed away by a hurricane, so that experience was lost.
Both resorts have nice pools. At Desire, the main pool is the center of morning life. The pools at Hedo did not seem to be used very often, but it was good to have several – one big and a few small ones. Also, the water slide at Hedo was a fun addition.
At Desire, there were several bars scattered around the campus; same at Hedo. The Jacuzzi bars at both resorts were popular, with lines forming at various times. So, we’d give the bar scenes the same rating at both resorts.
Both resorts have gyms. Hedo’s was larger and better equipped than Desire’s – not that we used either, despite our guilty feelings of not doing our usual daily work-outs.
Food
The food at Desire was much better than at
Hedo; neither of us is a big eater, but we expect satisfactory quality
food on vacation. Breakfast
fare at both was about the same. The lunch buffet and grill at Desire
was far tastier than Hedo’s.
Desires’s grilled grouper was consistently available and delicious.
Hedo offered fish, but only grilled tilapia twice out of the five
days. The dinners at Hedo
were close to horrible with two exceptions – NYE, when lobster was
served (but even that was tough – probably because so many had to be
grilled at once) and another evening with excellent pork.
There were three good restaurants
at Desire – one with French pretensions (and still fairly good), one
Japanese, and the other being the buffet; reservations were required at
the “French” and Japanese restaurants.
Hedo offered a kind of Italian, but the she could not eat her
pasta (how can you mess up pasta!), and a Japanese steakhouse setting,
but the he (who has visited
Entertainment and Activities (including
Relaxing)
Both resorts engaged in daily activities/games and provided nightly entertainment. Many will probably call us spoil-sports (and worse), but we found the “pass-the-banana” type of sexual games at Desire to be silly. Hedo had a tamer variety of these games, which we also thought were silly, but Hedo also offered other games and awarded prize points for participating (no, we didn’t do those either, so maybe we’re just not gamers…)
The nightly entertainment at Hedo was much better
than Desire’s (and here we’re referring to the paid performers, not
guests’ activities). Most
of the singers at Hedo had great voices, but for us the show-stopper was
the dinner performance by the drums and native dancers – amazing! In
contrast, the entertainers at Desire were ok, but really bit players,
possibly due to the smaller size of the resort and the relative wealth
of
While we’re on entertainment, the NYE festivities at Hedo were very good. There is an issue about “reserving” tables – not allowed, but done by groups of about 6-10 rotating “guards” from about 3pm on. (We did this, which gave us a great table with delightful people.) We’ve never been to Desire for NYE, so can’t compare the two; other guests who have been there gave mixed reviews.
And, while we’re on reserving, the chair situation at Desire is sometimes a problem. Because there is limited seating around the pool – usually the place of choice in the morning – people used books and towels to reserve seats; again, not allowed but done. At Hedo, we never had a problem getting very comfortable chairs along the nude beach, and there were plenty of open chairs at the prude beach. Also, Hedo provided floats for guests to use in the water. Hedo wins this act hands down (or thumbs up).
And, since we mentioned towels, the policy at neither resort was ideal. At Desire, when we asked for towels (and, there did not seem to be an official limit), the staff would sometimes write down our room number and sometimes wouldn’t and sometimes seemed stingy and sometimes not; it made no sense. At Hedo, we received two cards at check-in with our room number for one towel each, which could be exchanged as often as we wanted 9am-4pm. If anyone wanted more towels, you had to buy a Hedo towel in the gift shop for $21. (I guess, you could bring room towels on the beach, but that was risky because Hedo gave each room so few towels, or your own beach towels from home.)
Is anyone still reading this report? Are you completely bored?
Both resorts offered catamaran rides, but we only went on one of Hedo’s. The ride was offered on Tuesday from 10:30-1:30 and took us snorkeling and swimming in caves. On the way back, almost everyone was nude (many were not on the way out), drinking rum punch (or whatever), chatting with everyone – great fun! The other Hedo ride, which we did not do because it was on NYE), went to Rick’s bar, with roundtrip lasting from about 2:00-5:30. People who took the Rick’s trip said they had a blast. Our only excuses for not trying the Desire rides are: (1) too cold; (2) too lazy – maybe next time.
Both resorts had theme nights; about 25% of the guests at the resorts participated. At Desire, we knew the themes well in advance. At Hedo, we never seemed to “get the memo” about the themes – but probably wouldn’t have dressed-up anyway. Hedo took the theme nights seriously, in that non-participants could not remain in the disco from about 11:30pm-1:30am.
Drugs
OK, now let’s talk about drugs; they were available at both resorts. (We did not use drugs at either, but people told us they did, which was obvious.) But, there was a big difference between the drug “scene” at Desire and the one at Hedo. We never saw anyone selling at Desire, and we would strongly advise not taking the risk of buying (but, hey, that’s us). At Hedo, the “party” man strolled daily along the beach advertising his stuff, and guests made buys. There was one “bust,” with the Jamaican Keystone cops yelling at Hedo security to “tighten up” – pointing to the party man – with no arrests. We’ll leave it up to your imagination what this was really all about.
Meeting the People
Maybe a description of the people and their actions would liven up this report. Desire is for couples only. Hedo is for adults only. In our view, this difference contributes to a more sensual atmosphere at Desire and a more sexual environment at Hedo. Maybe this seems to be parsing words (or as Bill Clinton would say, it depends on what “is” is), but we’ll try to explain.
At both resorts, we met wonderful people, who in another setting might grow to be lasting friends. There were a lot of teachers (including the she of us), but of course others with varying backgrounds. There were repeaters at both resorts, some who swore that Desire is better, and others who vowed to return only to Hedo. (The winner we talked with had been traveling to Hedo for 14 straight years.) And, we chatted with many who had been to only one of the resorts but were very interested in the other.
There were varying nationalities at both resorts, with Americans and Canadians dominating. Hedo seemed to have more eastern Europeans than Desire, which had a lot of Germans, at least when we visited the second time.
There were jerks at both resorts. The worst at Hedo was a thug who grunted some eastern European language while insisting on taking a table we were using. He even grabbed the she’s arm to pull her off her chair – an act that flabbergasted us and those sitting around us – finally pushing the table hard and stomping off to find his woman when it became clear that we weren’t moving.
Both resorts had sexual predators, but the single men at Hedo (the “Wally” or “Vinnie”) were more abrasive, abrupt and, in some cases, amusing than the men at Desire. (Hedo also allowed single women -- the infamous line of “girls rule and guys drool” comes to mind – and the women had no difficulty partnering with whomever and whenever they wanted; and several did).
The she had several Vinnie encounters when the he trundled off for drinks at the bar. On the she’s first dip in the large Jacuzzi at the nude beach (remember, we spent no time on the prude side, and there was no comparable Jacuzzi there), a Vinnie introduced himself first by shaking her hand and then by sharply pulling her toward him; she pushed him away, and that was that. Another Vinnie encounter was more subtle. The Vinnie was initially polite – after being visibly disappointed when the he showed up with drinks – and later gently rubbed the she’s upper back. The Vinnie then lowered his rub to a much more private part; after the she quickly pushed his hand away, the Vinnie left the water. We saw the Vinnie several other times, and we exchanged pleasantries – “nothing ventured, nothing gained” is expected in these situations. There were more “charming’ moments, like when a Vinnie approached the she with “you’re hot” as if that would immediately seduce her. Oh, well, guys just don’t understand women.
At Desire, with hetero couples only (although a couple can be loosely defined), there was usually more subtly in approach and intuitive understanding when the interest was lacking. (Maybe this is why all the men at Desire were with women?) Yes, there was an occasional predator, but this seemed to be more of the exception at Desire than at Hedo. We’ll give Desire the stronger applause over Hedo, and most women we talked with would seem to agree. However, if your thing is to watch your woman with another man, Hedo might be the better choice.
At Hedo, professional escorts (primarily women, for obvious reasons) offered their companionship. We do not know the nature of the services rendered.
The smaller size of Desire also seemed to contribute to a more intimate and familiar atmosphere -- more sensual than purely sexual. You saw nearly everyone, even if you never talked with them – especially around the pool in the morning. At Hedo, there were so many people, that the scene felt more impersonal. We will not rate the resorts for the effect of size because each offered something depending on mood and taste.
Because all of Desire is clothing optional, there seemed to be a more relaxed attitude about whether someone was completely nude or not. At Hedo, the nude side had signs that basically said that you must be nude. (Yes, we realize this was largely tongue-in-cheek.) Now, we’re not saying there was pressure or disgusted stares if you were not completely nude. In fact, the she kept on her bottom, except while in the Jacuzzi, and the he was almost always nude. So, this difference is not a big deal; we applaud both resorts for clothing optional settings and wish there were more.
There were varying ages and body types at both resorts. The average age at both resorts was probably around 45, with a few in their 70s and some people in their 20s (poor dears who had to see all that old skin).
There was a higher percentage of obese people at Hedo than at Desire. We say this because of our admitted bias and because one of the couples we met told us that a significant percentage of Lifestylers is overweight – something that greatly surprised us (especially after seeing advertisements for Takeovers).
Men’s sizes (and, we’re not talking about height or weight) ranged from “oh my God!” large (that’s the she talking) to almost non-existent at both resorts. Boob jobs were also obvious at both resorts. Most people shaved (or at least trimmed) their private parts. Plenty of tattoos. But, the main point is that any and all bodies coexisted nicely, and nobody should avoid a clothing optional resort out of concern for looks.
Hedo appeared to be the only one that had openly gay men. Desire probably informally defines “couples only” as opposite sex.
Daily Life
There is a daily rhythm at each resort (obviously, different people do varying activities, but we’ll describe the general beat). At Desire, the daily routine was to rise for breakfast, capture a pool or beach lounge, hang out until early afternoon (eating lunch at the grill or buffet), and possibly changing locations from pool to beach or vice versa. The late afternoon found many people at the Jacuzzi and surrounding beds, which are on a roof. After dinner, couples went to the disco, then to the playroom and/or back to the Jacuzzi and/or one of the bars and/or back to rooms for whatever activities they had lined up.
At Hedo, after breakfast, most people went to the nude beach. People tended to chat with those around them. In the afternoon, there was a gravitation toward the Jacuzzi and adjoining bar pool -- the former being warm, of course, and the latter being cool; thus, by sunset, nobody was in the pool, and the Jacuzzi was excitingly crowded. Dinner and entertainment (including dancing) in the early evening was sometimes followed by a visit to the piano bar. We went twice to the piano bar; one night a piano player got the guests involved – with a man and a woman performing together but separately…well, let’s leave that for another report. On a second night, there was only karaoke, which we didn’t enjoy. For some, the disco followed – we tried it once, better facility than at Desire – or back to the Jacuzzi. We had planned to venture to the late-night Jacuzzi but for various reasons never made it – our one regret.
Yes, Sex!
“What happens in
At Desire, the sex was usually confined to the implicitly designated areas – the beds lining the roof top Jacuzzi and the play room (which was sometimes crowded – and especially exciting -- and sometimes vacant). Sex occurred covertly in the Jacuzzi, on the beach (which was prohibited), and around the pool.
At Hedo, there was a steady stream of oral sex, especially in the evenings (even just outside the piano bar), and some intercourse anyplace on the nude side -- including anal sex on the sand along the nude shore – some on the floats in the water but mainly around the Jacuzzi. (Speaking of water, the she saw a golden shower being performed on a man’s face for the first, and hopefully only, time at Hedo – ehhh, ick!.) We were told there is a playroom of sorts at Hedo (somewhere by the tennis courts), but never bothered to try to find it, and others didn’t seem to care either.
OK, that’s enough titillation for this report. You’ll just have to go and enjoy the experiences for yourselves. .
Off the Resorts
Turning to off-campus, there was more to do around Desire than Hedo. At Hedo, the staff had few recommendations – other than Rick’s – and almost insisted we use Hedo’s transportation services (depart at 4pm and return at 7pm). We don’t know whether this is for security or for Hedo to get more money. A couple we met said there are other alternatives, which we would explore before returning to Hedo. At Desire, taxis were readily available and would take you anywhere.
Prices
At Hedo, the he was asked by several guys about the prices at each resort. We have not gone on the internet to compare. We do try to limit our expenditures – especially in today’s economy – so price is an issue. But, we don’t believe the difference in price between the two resorts (assuming there is one) should be a deciding factor – that is, we don’t think it is all that much. (We used frequent flyer miles to travel, so we’re only comparing the resort rates.)
Finally, if you are still reading this and want our reviews of Desire, please feel free to ask. We believe the first (“Desire Sex”) would be particularly useful for newbes considering clothing optional resorts.