Bill & ? - November, 2004

Desire Resort
Riviera Maya
November 18-23

We have traveled to resorts around the world over the past thirty years and never have we seen such a variation in trip reports as with Desire Resort. They range from great to terrible, so the only way to find out for sure was to try it. So, try it we just did, but for only five nights (taking advantage of the fifth night free promotion) just in case the terrible reports were the closest to the truth. They weren't.

Our conclusion: the highly negative reports were either from trips taken soon after the resort opened (when even the resort agrees there were problems) or the people that wrote them haven’t even been there.

Let’s just tackle some of the reported items and we’ll give you some current facts.

First, the Jacuzzi. Yes, it has been rebuilt with an adjacent shower. The seats don’t rub you raw or even scratch you. There is a four-inch-long white suction pipe that projects into the tub at one end which could be a bit of a surprise, especially if any appendages get too near it. Yes, there is a lot going on in the Jacuzzi, not to mention on the beds. The water was always crystal clear and well-chlorinated, changed daily, and the bed sheets were changed frequently. It is a bit slippery around the tub and they need a handrail on a section of the stairs and into the Jacuzzi. There were plenty of towels, and overall it was great fun. If you want to avoid the swingers, use the Jacuzzi just after dinner. It is empty then. If you are a swinger, get there around 4pm and enjoy a full tub with lots of opportunities for whatever.

Next, the sidewalks. Yes, there is a drop-off of up to four inches at the edges of some of the walkways, but almost always you could walk side-by-side. The good news is that the sidewalks don’t flood when it rains. The bad news is you need to watch where you step, but you figure that out very quickly.

The ambiance and age group. We were there just after a swingers group had left, and most of the guests were not swingers, and those that were swingers were quite respectful and pleasant. Ages ranged from about 40 to over 70 and the average seemed to be about 45-50. PDAs were pretty well limited to the Jacuzzi area during daylight hours, but that doesn’t mean you had to keep your hands to yourself. Late at night, other areas were utilized, too. Though this is a clothing optional resort, in fact, everyone was nude (except in the restaurants and disco, though the latter saw some nudity as well, including an amateur strip show). A few women wore bikini bottoms at the main pool and beach.

The pools. The lobby pool which is supposedly topless, was never used. The lobby bar was mixed dressed and nude. The main pool was nude and very clean and had sufficient lounges (the resort was full while we were there, and we always could get lounges).

The beach. Generally quite good, though there was usually some sea grass at the edge of the water. It was raked every day. Lot’s of lounges, hammocks and shade. The sand is powdery and quite nice, firm enough to walk on. A resort has opened about 100 yards north of Desire, and there were some walkers, but they kept moving. If you wanted to go for a nude walk, you could do so by walking south. Just carry a sarong, as there are a couple of small commercial areas where nudity is inappropriate. Otherwise, you can walk for a mile or so with water on one side and wilderness on the other. You will see heavily armed soldiers walking the beach a couple times a day, but they don’t care that you are nude. There was hurricane damage that destroyed the pier restaurant and some of the palapas. Repairs were nearly done and the lobster restaurant will reopen (it is an extra cost option). About every twenty minutes, a waiter strolled the beach to take drink orders. He always got it right.

The rooms. There is substantial variation in room quality, so we suggest that you discuss it with your travel agent when you book to ensure that you do not get a room under the Jacuzzi. Those rooms are like walk-in closets, and they seem to use them when they are overbooked. Two couples that we know of reserved better rooms, but when they were arrived, their rooms were not available, so they were put in the Jacuzzi area for one night. They were compensated, and no one seemed overly unhappy about it. The showers definitely need curtains, and the bathrooms could use better lighting. We travel with mattress pads, so we did not have a problem with the beds, but they are pretty firm. The oceanview rooms are clearly the best value. As for the porn channel, the action at the Jacuzzi is better than what you will see on the TV. Speaking of which, other than CNN and A&E, everything is in Spanish. But why are you in your room watching TV, anyway?

Cleanliness. This is a very clean resort. The cleanup crew started around 6am and finished about 9am. Housekeeping was very good.

Phones. If you have a GSM cell phone (newer multiband Cingular, AT&T or T-Mobile phones) bring it. Be sure to register with your carrier before leaving home (not necessary with T-Mobile in Mexico). While there is also CDMA service, Sprint does not have roaming agreements in Cancun. I don't know about Verizon, which is also CDMA. The cell service on Telcel or Movistar is fine and the hotel phone rates are exorbitant. Otherwise bring a phone card. The internet service is quite fast and costs five bucks for thirty minutes, though they don't really time you.

Food. Clothing must be worn in the restaurants. Most everyone dressed very nicely for dinner, the men in polos or sport shirts and shorts and the women in sexy dresses. Shoes are required. Men need to take a pair of pants for the International restaurant. The breakfast is terrific. Matilde makes great omelets and waffles, and there is a good selection of buffet breakfast items, both American and Mexican, fresh fruit, fresh orange juice, etc. Even a table with smoked salmon and cheeses. The coffee was fine, pretty much like Maxwell House. Decaf, though, is freeze-dried. There is a coffee maker in each room, so if you like decaf, bring your own. The resort advertises a continental breakfast from 6am to 7am, but it never showed up. The main breakfast started around 7:15 am. Lunch was outside by the pool. There was a buffet/snack bar with burgers, fries, nachos, wings, club sandwiches, etc., plus a grill with several items cooked to order. One warning. There are two things not to put in your mouth in Mexico. The water and the steak. The first is dangerous and the second is invariably tough. Dinner offers a buffet with a different theme every night plus a grill that made fajitas, fish, Spanish sausage and other items to order. Not gourmet, but very good just the same. By the way, unless you say otherwise, they generally serve fairly small portions. If you want more, just say so! "Dos" works well for this purpose. The international restaurant and Mexican restaurant were excellent. If the only Mexican you have ever had is Taco Bell, you have to try this. As for the bars, there was never a wait. They had plenty of bartenders and they would make whatever you wanted. They served JW Red, Cutty, Tanquery and similar quality liquors.

The staff. Here the resort really shines. The staff is mostly Mayan Indian, and they are very friendly and speak very good English. They stopped killing foreigners back in the 1930’s so no longer carry machetes. They tried very hard to please. The entertainment director was a bit over the top and more than a bit annoying not because he was getting people to participate, but because he dominated the activities. The guest services director, Mario, was ever-present and asked us every single day if we were enjoying ourselves. We wanted to go to one of the specialty restaurants an extra time and he took care of that for us. Be nice to Mario, and he’ll take good care of you.

Bugs. While we were there, there was always a breeze off the water and insects were not a problem at all. I got two mosquito bites during the week. They did have propane mosquito traps, but they were not needed while we were there. Ants were not a problem either.

The disco. Well, if we had a minor gripe this was it. The age range I mentioned above, but the music was for twenty or thirty somethings, not for the age group that was at the resort. We could have used some 70’s style disco music. A lot of people agreed with that. The disco was small but nice, with sofas at one end. This is where the Playroom is located, but we did not use it.

The spa. Not many people seemed to use it, but my wife had a facial, pedicure, and exfoliation and said they were as good or better than she gets at home, and at lower prices.

The beautiful people. There was every body type in evidence at Desire. I did note that at least half of the females seemed to have some modification to their upper bodies. Some of them should sue their plastic surgeons, especially those with Tara Reid scars. My unaugmented wife looked as good or better than any of them, so if you don't have implants, don't worry about it. After all, its not what you've got, its how you use them! As for the men, they came in varying sizes and shapes, so whatever yours is, it's fine.

Overall. As I said to Mario when we left, Desire substantially exceeded our expectations. Other guests with whom we spoke agreed that Desire is a very good value. It isn’t quite at Grand Lido or Hidden Beach Resort quality levels (neither are its prices!) but it is a fine place, better we think than the Hedos. The only place we like better from a quality standpoint is Hidden Beach, but Desire has a much better and looser ambiance, so we will alternate between the two for our trips next year.

Bill