Sue - April,2008
How to make friends at a Nude Lifestyle resort
Desire Los Cabos
by Sue , Clinical sex therapist
It’s not just that we’ve had 17 feet of
snow this winter in my part of
Los Cabos
Desire Los Cabos, is similar to Desire
Cancun in many ways. An exclusive,
couple-only, clothing optional, all inclusive hotel, with a
boutique resort feel, with a maximum capacity of 150 rooms.
Desire comes with complete privacy and serious security.
It’s the honeymoon of decadence and sensuality that you
may have always wanted. I find that like with any nude place,
the minute you take your clothes off, your inhibitions go as
well. That means fellow guests are open, and conversation and
friendships start easily all over the resort. However unlike
with a typical nude or clothing optional resort, (like the
Caliente resorts where PDA’s –public displays of affection- can
get you kicked out), there are places where you can be overtly
sexual with your (or possibly someone else’s) partner. It is
more centrally located than in Cancun, (in the zone tourista, as
opposed to
They’ve set the lay out well, so that sexual interaction happens only on the secluded hot tub area, or in the playroom in the dance club. Which means that if you choose not to watch the sex going on, (although who’s kidding, everyone is curious to see if their pool buddies are doing anything more interesting than they do), you can completely avoid that section. So with sex only going on in very specific places, you can otherwise treat it like any other first class resort except that a good 60% of the guests are in various stages of undress.
This is the place where you can be nude (or
not), overtly sexual with your partner (or not), and meet other
couples for friendship or more. Or you can stay to yourself, and
honeymoon in an erotic environment. As Sylvia the Guest Services
manager said “The experience at Desire is strictly what you make
of it”. So Desire can be called sensuously discreet. It’s there
if you want it, but sex is done with ease and elegance. I would
say that only about 25% of the guests (in my humble estimation)
were in the “swinging” or lifestyle play. Some people were
direct in their approach that they were looking for an exchange,
but most were just having their partner only eroticism. What
surprised me was how many “first-timers” there were, who had
never even been to a nude beach before. There was a large group
of people who booked off Expedia looking for a vacancy, and
although seemed surprised at how sexually open the place was,
very quickly dropped the laundry and joined in on the
semi-clothed frolicking. When in
The Los Cabos is less crowded than the
always booked
A couple of things you may want to take
note of when packing for Desire. With guaranteed sunshine, and
predominate nudity, we went through far less clothes than
anticipated.
Although day time clothing needs can be put into a toiletry bag,
most women dressed elegantly for cocktails, dinner and after
dinner drinks, and for the
disco party, every night is theme night.
So my suggestion is bring a big suite case full
of erotic costumes to be creatively silly. It is hot and
sexually charged at the disco. Themes included Rodeo-cowboy,
naughty school yard, pink, red, and black and white nights,
jungle, along with emergency (fireman, nurse).
Despite what a good job Desire is doing running its resort, it wasn’t perfect. The highlight was the staff and service. I can honestly say that I’ve never met a more gracious, more accommodating staff anywhere in the world. They learned your names from the get go, and made a point to make everyone feel special.
The food however, was a bit inconsistent at times. We had the best steak we’ve ever eaten on holidays, as well as the worst steak, only a day apart. I thought there could have been a more rounded out room service menu, and the pool lunch food was repetitive as the only option to eat. They had great bartenders however. I was very surprised as a therapist, (you would think even for strictly liability reasons), there wasn’t condoms in the playroom and hot tub areas. I also wished that the disco should open earlier for those of us who turn into a pumpkin after midnight.
Most significantly, I also felt that there was a real thirst for information on what is the erotic lifestyle, and there was a need for clear, non-judgmental facts about what full swing, lifestyle play, group massage, bisexual swap meant to the new attendees. Having tourists books in each rooms were helpful, but those weren’t the questions it took five margherita’s, and a week of beating around the bush to ask. Everyone it seemed, was looking for information on “how do you spice up your relationship with group play without messing up what you have”, or just “how do you keep it hot after years together?” Desire seems to be marketing to the large middle group that one guest described as “Empty Nesters gone wild”, who are curious, open, but very tentative in trying out any kind of extra marital play. Not the serious swingers who are open to anything and everything, but more than the romance marketed by conventional couples resorts. With a few minor changes (better training of their activity staff, more ice breakers, and delicately written information packages), the Desire resorts will be the premiere location for sensuous couples world-wide. Book your holiday soon, because as they make the final adjustments, they will continue to be sold out year round.