July 1-8, 2000
This trip report ended up being far longer that I ever anticipated so either get comfortable or skip this one and read another! For those of you who do endure the whole thing I’ll mention this – you’ll notice we spent a lot of our time on the island. That is what we went to do and we enjoyed every minute of it. Forsake not though – there are a LOT of activities at Couples. Look at the chalkboard in the Patio restaurant every morning for that days activities – there’s no way you could do all of them.
Right after Christmas, 1999 Jackie and I were sitting around and talking about nothing in particular when the subject of vacation came up. Neither she nor I had ever taken a “real” vacation before – usually opting to stay home, take the kids to grandmas and then just “hang out”, work on the house or whatever. We decided this year we would go somewhere and get away from everyone. Time to hit the Internet!
We are outdoor/water people so right off knew we wanted to go to an island. In addition we’re “backyard nudists” so we were looking for a place with au natural facilities. We also wanted to go the all-inclusive route as that way everything would be paid for up front with no worries about anything but souvenir money and occasional tips. We started looking at Sandals (lacking in the au natural facilities somewhat), then Superclubs (hey honey – how ‘bout Hedo? Ouch!!), and then I remembered a lady I worked with years ago say something about Couples in Ocho Rios. Web page found – online photo tour taken – this is it honey! Here’s where we’re going.
Couples was running a special at the time (about US$500 off per room) so we went to Dillards Travel in late January and booked a week in July centered around July 4th (our anniversary). That’s also when we discovered there are no non-stop flights from Dallas/Fort Worth to Montego Bay. Oh well, a small price to pay. Note – we did find out later that there are two charter services that fly out of DFW to Jamaica non-stop. We may check into them next year if they are cheaper.
We never realized how many days there are between late January and July 1. We know now – we counted them off one day at a time. It did allow time for saving up that extra spending money and buying new clothes though. During our Internet research on Jamaica we ran across DennyP’s board and discovered a wealth of information on Jamaica and other resorts as well.
Fast forward to July. I took off the Friday before leaving to run those last minute errands, and am glad I did! Last minute packing, run the kids to their sitters, confirm all the reservations, list of do’s and don’t for the older kids staying at the house, plotting with the neighbors to WATCH the older kids left at the house.
“nuf about the history – let’s get outa here! Get up at 2am Saturday morning, SuperShuttle arrives at 3am, at the airport at 3:35am, ticket counter opens at 4:30am. Hmmmmm. Ticket counter opens, check bags through and go to the terminal and wait. The flight left on time, arrived in Miami a few minutes early, and our connecting flight was only two terminals down. Just enough time to grab an airport sandwich (ugghhhh!) and we’re off again. They hand out the customs and immigration forms on this flight (meaning be sure to take a PEN to fill the things out!). Arrived in Montego Bay a few minutes early – along with four other flights.
Immigration lines were LONG and EVERY lane was open. Just be patient, the lines move surprisingly quickly (customs was the same way). The immigration officer never really read our birth certificates and drivers licenses. In fact he was stamping our papers before I ever got them all out! Baggage claim was crowded, but only took about 15 minutes. More lines at Customs and we’re through. On to the resort check-in desk. Filled out a couple of check in forms and was told the next bus would be in about twenty minutes – no problem Mon! Where can I go to smoke around here? No, I don’t need anything TO smoke – I just want to know WHERE I can smoke! Hehehehe. Been in Jamaica all of about 45 minutes and offered Ganja already!
If it’s your first time to Jamaica take the bus. It’s not as bad as some make out – and can be very educational and eye opening the first time you’re there. Our driver made it a point to tell us the history of certain places, pointed out the various other resorts as we passed them, and threw in a few jokes to boot. We were on a bus with two other couples and we all voted to skip the midway rest stop. We arrived at Couples about 2:30pm.
The reception area was rather crowded when we arrived and we thought “Uh-oh..this is going to take a while”. Not so – we handed the lady our papers and Jackie waited in the lobby while I went and grabbed us a couple of Red Stripes (the sacrifices I make for her!). When I got back to the check-in desk Jackie was getting the keys – turnaround time of about 10 minutes! We had paid for a Deluxe Gardenview room, but as we followed the directions to the room they gave us we realized they upgraded us to oceanview. Fantastic! We had room 21 in the East Wing. The view from the room was awesome – the beach, the restaurant/disco, the pier and the offshore island were all in plain sight. We were to find out later that a couple we had bumped into in Dallas (and in Miami, and at the resort check-in desk at Sangster, and on the same bus with us to Couples) was in the room next door. We also discovered later that they live about an hour and a half from us!
We spent the remainder of Saturday checking out the beach, the bar, the pier, the bar, the grounds, the bar (see the pattern here!). We learned from Denny’s board a lot of people bring their own insulated mugs, which the bartenders are all too happy to fill for you. It keeps the drinks colder than the little plastic cups and mugs they have, and cuts down on the number of bar trips you make (highly important when you’re impersonating a sea shell laying on the beach). I bought the largest red mugs Wal-Mart had – which got us a few looks from a few other patrons but – oh well! We wanted to go check out the offshore island, but by then it was approaching five o’clock and they were ferrying guests back to the resort for the evening’s activities. Tonight we opted for dinner at The Patio restaurant – mainly because it is the only thing open on Saturday night that doesn’t require reservations. The food was excellent – as were all the meals we had no matter which restaurant we ate at. We tried a lot of new, local dishes throughout the week. There were a few we wouldn’t try twice – not because they were bad, just a little too “different” for our tastes.
Sunday morning I awoke at my usual time – 5:15am. I’m one of those people who HAVE to have a cup of coffee and cigarette when I first get up. Knowing breakfast isn’t served until 7:30am I traipse off to the restaurant anyway in search of the Nectar of the Gods. Low and behold, they have a 30-cup coffee dispenser filled with the best coffee I’ve ever tasted (not true Blue Mountain but an excellent Jamaican blend nonetheless). There’s also a tray of banana bread for us early risers to snack on. I grab Jackie some coffee and banana bread and head back to the room. After showers we take our coffee and go walk the beach (this became an every morning ritual for us) and watch the sun rise. It’s daylight in Jamaica around 5:10 with actual sunrise in Ocho Rios around 5:45am. HINT: empty the ice water out of the carafe in your room and fill it with coffee – saves refill trips. The breakfast buffet is also awesome. There is a fruit bar, pastry/bread bar and buffet where you can also get eggs/omelets made to order. The restaurant is open air but very comfortable. Keep your plate covered while making a trip for seconds – the birds think you’re leaving them a treat if you don’t. They also have a bottle of champagne by the juice bar for Mimosas and a bottle of vodka and tomato juice on the pastry bar for Bloody Marys. After breakfast we decided to walk around the resort and see everything. The grounds are beautiful will mature foliage everywhere. It was amazing the see what we think of as houseplants in their natural environment. The two two-person hot tubs in the Gardens are very nice and secluded from view – very romantic. Check the water temperature before plunging in though – one day the temperature in one of the tubs was almost 120 degrees. We surmised the kitchen was using it to boil lobster for the evening’s meal. The bird aviary has an assortment of pigeons, chickens (yes – I said chickens), doves, and such. There were even a rabbit or two in there. HINT: don’t tour the aviary on a humid day right after breakfast – it can be quite an olfactory sensation! After our walking tour we returned to the room, packed our beach bag and headed down to the pier to be taken over to the island. They have a small boat that runs people back and forth to and from the island whenever they see someone waiting. A note on the island – it is NOT clothing optional. If you go you will be expected to abide by the au natural rule (or return to shore). We spent the rest of the day on the island tanning, talking to the two couples we met the prior day (Hi S&T, D&R!), sampling a few different drinks from the bar and deciding that Jamaican Red Stripe was THE BEST beer we’d ever had. When you land at the island you walk up a short walkway (watch the low limbs!).To the right is the tower (which has a restroom and stairway to the top – a beautiful view) and on past that are various decks and gazebos where you can lay out on lounges or hanging baskets. To the left of the tower are the swim up bar and tanning decks with lounges. Our favorite spot was the deck at the far-left end of the island. It was large enough for two couples easily but about ten paces to the bar. There is also a small shower there to rinse off before getting into the pool. Clifton was the bartender the week we were there, and he makes a MEAN Rum Punch. They have burgers, fries and hot dogs to snack on while you’re there, but they are by no means as good as the made-to-order burgers at the Beach Grill. Also, if you have wet feet watch out for the tile at the entrance to the bar/pool – it is extremely slick. There aren’t any scheduled activities on the island, but several couples brought their own entertainment. Several couples were playing dice games. We brought waterproof playing cards, but it was so windy that week it was hard to play. We’re not sure where we ate dinner Sunday (OK – I’m not sure – too many Rum Punches!).
Monday started the same way – up at 5:15 (no alarm clock either, what’s up with this!), down for coffee, walk the beach, breakfast at 7:30 then over to the island for some early morning sun. We had signed up for the shopping trip to Ocho Rios earlier so around 1:00 we went back to our room to change and meet the shuttle bus. The shopping trip stops at two places – the first being a “flea market” atmosphere with locals and their crafts and such. If you shop here – haggle the price down. I purchased a two-foot tall hand carved dolphin for US$40 – he originally wanted US$100 for it. I also purchased a unique hand-carved pipe and was offered “something to put in it”. Jackie purchased a few handmade necklaces and a sundress for our daughter. The second stop is in town and is a strip mall of sorts. The stores all carry about the same stuff with variances here and there. Shop around for prices before buying too much. The stores here take cash and credit cards. We picked up some nice trinkets, Blue Mountain coffee and small bottles of liqueur. They give you about an hour and a half to shop so take your time. After returning from shopping we decided to shower and “rest a spell” before dinner. ;) We planned on dinner at Bayside restaurant with the two couples we’d befriended. Well, about 7pm there’s a knock at the door…..ooops, fell asleep! Hurry honey…get dressed, we’re late! They didn’t give us TOO much grief for being late!
Tuesday we went to Dunn’s River Falls. Wear something you plan on getting wet. There are rental lockers at the falls, but I carried my wallet and such in a ziploc bag inside a fanny pouch. You can leave your shoes, shirts, shorts, whatever in the bus – the driver remains with the bus at all times while you’re there. You’ll park at the top of the falls, walk down a LOT of steps to the shore, then walk back up the falls in groups. We went in the group that was videotaped so we could buy the tape later (US$25). You go up hand in hand, and there’s a reason for that. There are spots that you NEED someone to help pull you up. The couple in front of us seemed to forget that and I ended up helping Jackie in a lot of places, then helping the lady behind me up. If you’re not into teamwork do everyone a favor and go to the end of the line. Couples will take your picture in several spots and you can purchase them the next day for US$8 each. Watch out for the guy wearing a huge straw hat taking pictures and handing out red flowers. You’ll pay US$8 for a Polaroid snapshot! It took us a little over an hour to climb the falls, but then 960 foot is a pretty good climb. Once at the top you go BACK down the stairs to the shore for the beach party Couples has for you. They have rum punch and Red Stripe, music and dance and then a limbo contest. If you’re in the group to be filmed this will be on your tape too. After the beach party you climb back UP the stairs, go through another “flea market” at the top that you HAVE to go through to get back to the parking lot. We arrived back at Couples about 1:30, hurried back to the island (hey, we’re paying a lot of money for this sunshine – we want all we can get!) and staked claim to a couple lounges and drinks. Today is our second anniversary and we have LeGourmet restaurant on our minds. About 4pm the catamaran cruise is leaving out of Couples so everyone on the island lines up on the seawall and moon’s the cruisers! We’re not sure if this is tradition or not, but it was fun and happened every time the catamaran left the week we were there. LeGourmet is a must do for anyone. We had heard a couple comments about it being too warm there, but we found it quite comfortable. Ours was a 5-course meal and everything was exquisite. The onion soup was to die for. We’re not really champagne drinkers, but the Beach Bar waitress remembered it was our anniversary and made a special point of bringing a bottle of champagne to our table. Jackie and I exchanged wedding rings before the meal, a special event for us.
Wednesday morning – you know the routine! Getting dressed we realized we had left our shoes and shirts on the bus when we returned from Dunn’s River the day before. I figured they were gone for good, but I checked with the front desk and the driver had returned them. I wish I had his name – I’d have made it worth his time just for his honesty. Went down to sign up for the 10:00 glass bottom boat ride - ended up on the 11:30 list (get there when they open at 9am, things fills up quick some days). Caught the skiff over to the island for some rays. The wind started picking up about 9:30 and the 10:00 glass bottom boat trip was cancelled. About 11:15 I asked Clifton to radio the watersports guys and see if the 11:30 glass bottom was going out since the wind was subsiding. A few minutes later the skiff was coming out to the island to pick us up and take us to the glass bottom. They loaded up the 6 couples that were signed up (they only take out 12 people at a time) and took us out to the reef. Being the first time we ever saw a reef we thought it was fantastic. The water was about 6 feet to the top of the reef and would then drop off into 100 foot “canyons”…amazing to see for the first time. Jackie and I are sworn to learn snorkeling before we return next year. Neither she nor I can ever dive due to past health problems, so snorkeling is as close as we’ll ever get. When we returned to the pier there was a parasailing boat cruising the coast. We had seen them earlier in the week but missed them. We flagged them down, I ran to the room for some cash, and off we went. They charge US$45 per person (cash only) and will take you up as a couple (they’ll even take you up nude if you want, but we opted for the “textile flight”!). Now I have a thing about heights – a SERIOUS thing – but this was NOTHING like I thought it would be. For those who have never been parasailing it goes something like this -you wear a body harness and life jacket during the “flight”. The first 2 minutes I had a death grip on the rigging, but after that it was exhilarating and yet at the same time so relaxing. On the other hand Jackie may as well have been sitting on the beach for all the fear she had – she was ecstatic! It’s about a 10 minute ride and they take you down the coast a ways, circle back and take you low over the island, dip you’re bottom in the ocean for a couple seconds, take you back up and then reel you back in. They will also take your picture if you request it. I asked them to videotape us and they did a pretty good job considering the wind had picked up again and the water was getting choppy. We gave them a US$10 tip for the filming. Returning to the pier we grab a couple hamburgers from the Beach Grill, wolf them down (I’m still on an adrenaline rush and not very hungry at this point), and catch the next skiff over to the island. We spent the afternoon there tanning, talking to folks from all over, drinking and cutting up. On Wednesday night all the restaurants are closed and they set up a massive buffet on the beach, complete with a bonfire and live band. Bring a camera to this - the food displays and ice carvings are beautiful. We had a note under our door that night from a couple we had met through the Internet. They had arrived from Scotland the day before and were trying to find us. Ended up they were in the room above ours – small world. We were to watch for them Thursday knowing she would be wearing a pink bathing suit.
Thursday was pretty routine and relaxing. After our morning ritual we spent the day on the island, excepting lunch which we ate at the Patio restaurant. We signed up for the catamaran cruise first thing when the office opened (get there early – this one fills up FAST). After lunch we start looking for our Scottish friends. As you would know it seemed like EVERYONE was wearing pink that day. We started asking names as we went along the beach and finally gave up on finding them easily. We spent the rest of the afternoon on the island chatting and sunning and returned around 3 to get ready for the cruise. Walking back to the room at the foot of the step guess who we find? There they were! (Hi G&C!) And as luck would have it they too were booked for the cruise that evening. We met up at the pier later concerned that the cruise would be cancelled due to rain and wind, but it lightened up just enough that they decided to take us out (yes – we were mooned as we passed the island!). They normally have two catamarans but they cut it back to one (the largest cat) this time because of the weather. It was first come-first served getting on the boat and not all couples got to go. G&C also made the cut so we sat together at the stern. If you really want to get wet set up front on the mesh! We went out probably a mile offshore, enough that we were in 8-foot swells. Then we headed back to a protected bay where people could swim while they served Rum Punch (there it is again, gotta watch it this time!) and gave a few Reggae dance lessons. Couples provided the soda and Rum Punch, but the crew also sells Red Stripe, so bring cash if you want beer. We returned to Couples around 7pm and everyone went to change for dinner. We had all decided to meet at the Patio restaurant again to talk over the week’s events. Jackie and I were even on time this time! After dinner we wandered over to the Beach Bar, had a few drinks and decided to catch the floorshow. They had a local reggae band for the first set that was very good. The second band wasn’t quite as good (in my opinion), but played a variety of styles and in general had something for everyone. This was the only night we stayed until closing – even considering going over to the Piano Bar for a while. Sleep won out in the end and we retired for the day.
Friday morning was again the usual routine with one exception – we knew it was our last full day there. We talked one of the watersports guys into taking us over to the island early (it was about 8:00 at the time) and we used the camcorder to make a “tour” of the island. We went up to the top of the tower and recorded a panoramic view of the resort. While we were there we decided “what the heck, we’re the only one’s here”. ;) We went back down, grabbed our usual spot on the deck and spent the remainder of the morning just relaxing, watching the waves crash on the rocks, windsurfers, kayakers and locals fishing the reef. I set the camcorder up to catch the waves and skyline and let it run for about an hour (made a nice mood tape to pop in at home, crank up the surround sound and it’s almost like being there!). Lunch was at the Patio restaurant again and back to the island for more sunning, conversation, drinks and saying good-byes. We met G&C for dinner at the Bayside restaurant and called it an early evening so we could pack.
Saturday – same routine but we got the camcorder out one last time and made a walking tour of the resort starting from our room and going around the entire resort. We’re especially glad we did that now –we’ve played it back at least once a week since being home. We used up what film we had left, ate breakfast (I’m going to miss those omelets) and went to finish packing. A quick story here – another person we conversed with through the Internet advised us “you’re overpacking, take half that {expletive} out!”. Well – we didn’t. You can laugh now DP – you were right. We didn’t wear even half what we took. As we were packing our souvenirs and clothes it dawned on us – it IS’NT going to fit. We ended up leaving several things on the bed with a note to the maid listing what was there and that she could have it or give it away (we thought the note would keep her out of trouble if she were asked where she got the stuff). That mission accomplished we sat our (seriously bulging) bags in the hall. The bus to the airport wasn’t leaving until 9:15 so we did some last minute shopping at the duty-free shop. They have a local woodcarver there and I’d asked him the day before to carve a small boat for me. He was putting the finishing touches on it when I arrived. J&C came down just as they started boarding the bus to see us off. Bye guys..let’s do this again next year. The bus going back was a large cruiser – more comfortable than the minivans we came in on. The bus was very quiet going to the airport – everyone lost in his or her own thoughts I guess. We arrived at the airport in plenty of time for our flight, but the lines were LONG. American had an agent at every terminal (I counted 8) but it still took 30 minutes to check in. I’ll skip a lot of the return flight details (this trip report is long enough as it is!) and hit a couple points. I expected to see the doggies on the jetway in Miami, but – no doggies. However, I was one of the randomly selected (or maybe I fit a profile or something) travelers to have my carryon luggage zippers swiped for drugs or whatever. It only took a minute and we were on our way. We arrived home exhausted at almost 1am Sunday morning.
Just a few general comments and observations and then I’m done (until next year anyway!).
Flies, mosquitoes and sand fleas: Being from Texas and having 3 dogs we were used to flies. I don’t think I saw 5 flies the whole time we were at Couples. Ditto for the mosquitoes. I personally am caviar to mosquitoes and was only bitten twice (both times in the restroom out on the island). We heard from another couple that had just arrived from Couples Negril that the mosquitoes there were horrible. Must have been a difference in location or wind conditions. Not once were we bothered with sand fleas.
Wind: The week we were there was very windy beginning around 10am and lasting until around 5:30pm. Do your watersports early in case they cancel out due to wind. The dive boat generally went out anyway, but the glass bottom boat, snorkeling and windsports were subject to being cancelled due to high winds. Water-skiing always started at 8am while the water was calm.
Cameras: If you use disposable cameras BRING EXTRA! What costs ~US$7 at home will set you back US$22.00 at the duty free shop at Couples. We learned this the hard way (I sat our beach bag in the bottom of the skiff on the way back from the island and learned that Canon + Saltwater = doorstop).
Cash: Bring lots of small bills. Everyone not directly employed by Couples will expect to be tipped. Baggage handlers at the airport (US$1 Per bag), Dunn’s River Falls guide (US$5), Bus drivers (US$4 but not sure if they really work for Couples directly or not).
Closets in the rooms: Don’t hang your clothes directly below the air unit if possible. Ours dripped condensation one night and left stains on a couple of my shirts.
Cigarettes: The duty free shop at Couples has American brands for US$2.87/pack. The machine in the pool table room will set you back US$5.00/pack. You can bring 1 carton per person into Jamaica duty free.
Sunscreen: Bring what you think you’ll need and add 1 bottle. A note to those of you tanning places that don’t normally see the sun – “Baboon Butt” if funny to see, but not funny to get. Watch yourself – the sun’s intense and can ruin a couple days of your vacation if you don’t keep the lotion on. We saw more than one person who was VERY uncomfortable.
Cambio: There’s a desk just inside the main building by the offices where you can break large US bills into smaller ones. You can also get cash advances off your credit card but it will be in JA dollars and you are limited to US$100 per day. The exchange rate was ~40:1 while we were there. There are no ATM’s on the resort.
Packing: Next year I (Dan) am going to wear a nice set of clothes with my bathing suit underneath and a camera around my neck. Done..packed..let’s go honey! Seriously – bathing suits are what you’ll be in most of the week. A nice set of clothes for Le Gourmet and a couple casual sets for shopping, evening dining at the casual restaurants and travel to/from the resort is about all you’ll need. Bring a big bag though – you’ll need the space for souvenirs and liquor!
Hope your trip is a much fun as ours!
Dan and Jackie Taylor