CALIENTE TRIP REPORT
MARCH 20-25, 2005
Kevin and Robin
At the risk of sounding like snobs, there are very few nudist/clothing optional resorts that meet our standards when it comes to amenities and luxury, particularly as it applies to facilities in the United States.
For years, the USA offered a plethora of trailer park/camping nudist/clothing optional "resorts," but there was a need for a higher standard if this particular segment of the travel industry was ever going to take off (no pun intended).
Eight years ago, we found Desert Shadows Inn and Villas in Palm Springs, California and have returned to the resort 10 times. Desert Shadows is the equivalent of a four-star resort with three pools, two hot tubs, an on-site restaurant and spa, but without the tan lines. We are planning on returning to DSI in the summer, but we were looking for a new experience this spring.
After reading the first reports about Caliente, a mammoth 110-acre nudist resort in Land O' Lakes, Florida, we decided to take the plunge. So exactly what does the reported $10 million investment offer the nudist traveler, who is looking for more than a lounge chair, a swimming pool and a hot tub? The answer is more, a lot more.
We will dispense with the usual tired dialogue about arriving at Tampa International Airport, other to say that Caliente is located about 20 miles north. There is absolutely nothing impressive about the businesses that are situated along Route 41 through Lutz and Land O' Lakes. In fact, the large Caliente sign on the northbound side of the highway is the only thing that prevents guests from nearly driving to Georgia before they realize they have bypassed the resort.
Caliente is a gated community, which one assumes is the standard for nudist resorts. Shortly after passing through the guard gate, you drive up a sharp hill to the second floor and entrance of the 33,000-square foot Club Caliente.
The formalities associated with the arrival at Caliente are just that, formal. For security reasons, Caliente asks to make photocopies of the driver's licenses of those checking into the resort, and asks for signatures on a lengthy document that outlines the dos and don'ts of the resort. These restrictions include everything from excessive body jewelry to not feeding or molesting the resident alligators. What happens if they want to molest you?
We noticed that everyone was dressed on the second floor, which houses two restaurants and the Fiesta Night Club. The female patrons of the nightclub were decked out in their best Victoria's Secret and Frederick's of Hollywood attire. Reportedly, the "clothing optional," rather than nude club house, was a key in securing Caliente's financing.
We checked into a one-bedroom waterfront condo in the "E" building, right next to the Laguna de Paz footpath. One charming feature was the full-length mirror on the ceiling. When we woke up the following morning, we were greeted by a beautiful lagoon with newly constructed or nearly constructed single-family residences on the other side.
Throughout the day, guests would stroll along the footpaths that border Caliente's lagoon and lake. One couple was actually walking their two small dogs in the nude (the owners not the canines). Unbeknownst to the couple, we noticed the male giving his partner a little playful pat on her rear-end as they strode past our condo (again the owners, not the canines).
We are fond of renting one of the Villa Suites at Desert Shadows instead of a standard hotel room. The same was true at Caliente as we were able to stock our refrigerator with snacks, drinks, breakfast cereals, orange juice etc., eliminating the dependency on the resort's restaurants for all of our meals.
The sheer size of Caliente came into play as our condo was a good 10-minute walk to the Club Caliente and its massive complex of pools, hot tubs, tennis and volleyball courts. If you are electing to stay at one of the condos, rent a car. Driving nude throughout the resort was a totally new experience for us.
One of the advantages of Desert Shadows is the compactness of the resort, making it easy to remain nude around the clock. You can simply walk from your villa to the pool, lounge chair, the restaurant etc without ever having to worry about annoying clothing. DSI's Sunset Caf sits right next to the resort's activity pool and one of the resort's spas and as a result the majority of its patrons are comfortably and totally undressed.
Caliente is a different story when it comes to all-day and all-night nudity. Can you be nude all the time and anywhere at Caliente? Sure. However, to get to the Club Caliente pool and hot tub complex, you first have to walk through the elegant main lobby of the resort with its restaurants, concierge desk, and night club just to get to the pool. For some walking nude past several fully clothed staffers is no problem. For others, it may be uncomfortable or even a bit intimidating. As a result, at least half of the guests elected to wear clothes to Club Caliente and then disrobe once they reached their pool lounge chairs.
Once you reach the pool complex which requires totally nudity, you are impressed by its incredible size and the hundreds and hundreds of lounge chairs. The main pool, which includes an impressive waterfall, is not heated. During Florida's hot and humid summers, this pool would be absolutely refreshing and most likely very popular. However, no one used this pool during our March stay. We used one of the two conversation pools, which were heated perfectly.
The pool complex also includes a white sand beach, fronting Lago Caliente and its resident (but never seen) alligators. The beach also includes a sizeable dock and two canoes for hearty souls that wish to row around the lake.
The "Si Como No" beach bar opens promptly at 11 a.m. One major advantage of Caliente over Desert Shadows is the variety and quality of food and the reasonable prices for drinks. We sampled several different sandwiches for lunch there including their Cajun grouper and Cubano sandwiches, and the Caliente wrap, which included grilled chicken, pico de gallo and black beans.
One of the waitresses volunteered that they preferred to work topless during the warmer months, which one suspects helps them blend in with their nudist customers. A male-female grounds crew team opted for the minimalist approach as they went about their chores among the nude clientele of the resort.
Another major advantage of Caliente is the option of an active vs. sedentary vacation. Caliente offers six tennis courts, three hard and three clay. Caliente sports two beach volleyball courts and two pools, especially designed for water volleyball. The resort has two shuffleboard courts and a children's playground.
As opposed to Desert Shadows, which only offers a barely adequate (being charitable here) exercise room, Caliente includes a state-of-the-art gym, including free weights, a Universal machine and the usual array of treadmills, exercycles and elliptical machines.
You can work out in the nude, which allows you to observe all the muscles of your body during each exercise. The majority of guests choose to work out in their normal gym clothes, which could be uncomfortable for those wanting to take advantage of the rare opportunity to pump iron au naturel. Compounding this potential anxiety is the Caliente trainers, who are always dressed.
Is Caliente perfect? Of course not. The weather in Florida can be hit-and-miss in the early spring or late fall. The Tampa area averages 44 inches of rain per year, which stands in stark contrast to Palm Springs which only receives about 12 inches per year. The heat, humidity and hurricanes that envelop the state in the summertime are legendary. The screened in lanais of the hotel rooms, villas and condos are screened in for a reason: bugs, big time.
The rates for a one-bedroom condo appear to be reasonable at first glance, $160 per night weeknights and $180 per night weekends. Sounds good, until you consider that Caliente charges a daily grounds fee per person of up to $27. Maybe Caliente management should just come clean and add the $54 right into the room price.
Certainly, there are federal, state and local laws and regulations that prohibit total nudity in restaurant kitchens and other parts of the resort. However, Caliente should encourage more of its employees (e.g. front desk, gym, concierge, activities coordinators, pool bar waiters and waitresses) to go about their business in the nude. Caliente is a nudist resort, right? The resort should go out of its way to encouraging guests to enjoy total nudity as much as possible.
Will we return to Caliente in the (hopefully near) future? Absolutely. Caliente is a first-class resort with a great deal of resources and care placed into making it a must-destination for nudists. The food and drink offerings are impressive and good. With its wide variety of activities, it would be very difficult to ever be bored.
Caliente has set a new standard for nude resorts in the United States. The only real competition in this country at this time is Desert Shadows (our opinion; many may differ). Caliente is on par with Caribbean resorts such as Grand Lido Negril. Caliente was a long time in coming, and it was worth the wait.