Hedonism II Trip Report - John & Alma: December, 2021
Dec 2-16, 2021
John and I LOVED every minute of Hedonism , the travelling part December 26, 2021 not so much. In pursuit of a direct flight ( which was cancelled several months before our trip ) we do seem to have selected one of the worse days to fly EVER. If I was talking about our Hedo adventures to like-minded friends I would go directly to the SEXY parts of our story and not bore anyone with the actual travel parts. I don't usually post a Hedo trip report ( the delightful early ones are lost sadly to the Trip Advisor changes) as when one ' protects the innocent i.e extremely naughty ' a description of the minutiae is not fun to write or read about. I have pursued friendships with long time Hedo goers just to get ' the REST of the story'. However in the interest of documenting these incredibly trying times to travel and for anyone ( in particular fellow Canadians) who would go to Hedo even have forbId in the 40's ??? when a tourist could only, I have been told by the 'Mayor of Negril' by sneaking on a " Banana boat" and likely drown in the Caribbean Sea in the process..... I offer a few tips to any Canadian going to Hedo in the foreseeable future:
1) If you fly WestJet spend approximately $170 extra for each flight per person for the 'Premier ' ticket. It will give you a roomy seat at the front of the plane for just 2 people, a delicious hot meal, regular beverages, snacks and special attention which will go along way to fortify you for 'The Toronto Pearson International Airport Experience' or help you recover afterwards. Most importantly you will be eligible to use the extremely short ' Priority ' Line at you final destination. You will be able to keep your cool when you don't have to stand in a LONG snaking line with angry and understandably tearful people. The hardworking staff at WestJet lost luggage counter almost sent our 2 enormous suitcases to the wrong city ( 3 days after our flight) because a lady trying in vain to get to Australia kept running up to his counter from the back of the line, to scream " Where is the security for all this giant pile of unattended luggage???!!! There COULD BE A BOMB in there !!! " While waiting for airport management at 2 am this poor lady proceeded to scream to anyone approaching the giant pile of luggage from a flight originating in L.A , " STAND BACK... A BOMB MAY BE ABOUT TO DETONATE !!! "
2) Bring a carry on with essentials for a few days. The Hedo gift shop has some great canvas type zippered bags on the top shelves at the back for very reasonable cost. There are no shuttle buses running after midnight to the airport hotel at your final destination, Sooo be prepared for a two hour wait for a taxi at the airport ....don't argue with me on this point in disbelief on Dec 26, 2021 at 2 am the Calgary airport.
3) Just be VERY thankful that your Premier ticket also got you on a special flight ( created that afternoon, a pilot was flown in 30 minutes before we took off, the co pilot did the safety checks) or you would still be trying to sleep on the Toronto airport floor waiting 24 hours for the next flight to Calgary.
4) Expect to be tested ( PCR, both nostrils, not uncomfortable) at the Toronto airport. Do not be surprised when ' random testing ' translates to being herded down a long winding hallway with no escape even when you insist there has been escape, you are running for a connecting flight. You will However by looking politely distressed and loudly muttering " We are going to be sleeping on the floor for sure" get yourself some immediate help from designated people simply there to kindly expedite the process. Keep your SH*!T together but forget the patient long suffering ' Canadian' approach.
4) Even if when checking your Toronto PCR results and they are negative do not be shocked that below the test results it states you will need to quarantine at home ( 5 days now I think at the present time) anyway !!! This info at the time was contradicted by the federal government website which at the time stated quarantine would end if results were negative and you were fully vaccinated. No big deal after soaking up the decedent Caribbean sun for 24 days and coming home to a frozen truck and minus 40 Fahrenheit AND Celsius , we didn't want to leave our house anyway !!!
NOW for the GOOD STUFF !!! We had an absolutely wonderful time with all our friends ( staff and guests) at Hedo new and old. The food and service was FANTASTIC as always Ofcourse all the nasty but necessary crap previously mentioned was TOTALLY worth it !!! Message me or subscribe to 'Bawdy Storytelling' ( not for the faint hearted) if you want the REALLY GOOD STORY !!!