Dennis - April, 2009
Rookie Trip report April 10-16, 2009 – The Other Denny
So, a trip report….regale the masses with the intricate
detail of a Hedo virgin’s trip to paradise…hmm…where to
start?? But, first you should know, I’m a straight guy with a fair amount of trepidation, who jumped in with both
feet and went to Hedo on the solo plan. I went with one
expectation – to chillax! We’ll see, won’t we!
I’ll begin with a few lessons learned:
1 - Rookies pack way too much and never use half of the
stuff/clothes packed! 7 days/6 nights, I used three
shirts/pairs of shorts to go to the dining area during
b’fast and dinner, if I made it there at all.
2 - Water - drink water. Stay hydrated. It will help you
stay in the game and not crash too hard. Every moment
counts. You won’t realize that until the bus is pulling
out from the front and you want to phone your boss to
tell him you lost your mind and will be staying in
Jamaica the REST OF YOUR LIFE.
3 – Talk to everyone. They want to talk to you. The shy
will sit on the sideline. The sideline is no place for a
Hedonist!
4 – Naps are not just for babies. The smallest of
siestas will revive your zeal for the party of the
night.
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Okay, so I get there on Friday kind of later than I
wanted to (about 5-ish). Delays in Dallas landed me at
MBJ almost two hours behind. The bus ride was fine. A
stop along the way for a couple of red stripes made the
second half of the ride breeze by. The left-side driving
was a trip. No Problem Mike, our driver, showed us how
to pass a car as you crest a hill, completely oblivious
to the notion of oncoming traffic – Yikes! Man, do these
Jamaicans use their horns or what.
Check in was smooth. I walked in - they took my name -
Less than two minutes later I was being escorted to my
room. I booked OVN. It was nice, but not really
necessary. The best views were at the nude pool, beach
and hot tub!! Oh yeah!!! The Hot Tub. The HOT HUB of
everything HEDO!!!!!
I spent a few minutes getting stuff out of my bags and
then SNAP….WTF! What am I doing? My anal retentive ass
was trying to unpack. WTF again! I dropped my clothes
grabbed a good towel found some flip flops and marched
off to the pool bar before the sun went down. As I got
close to the bar, all I could see was nekkid-nude people
– OH NO – Men/Women – talking – playing - yelling –
laughing – holy SHIT - What kind of vaca did I book?
I
was totally intimidated. I don’t know anyone! Oh my God
– my worst fear – I’m a Vinnie – worse yet – I’m a
Wallie – I’ll never fit in. Shit – shit – shit. I
wrapped the towel around my waist and walked up to the
bar, I get the barkeep’s attention and order--- I know
lame—a beer. Gimme a break – my mind was going a mile a
minute, so ordering something sophisticated was not
gonna happen.
So, my towel’s wrapped around my waist. It’s coming
loose slowly and I can feel it. I reach for it to keep
it from falling when all of sudden I can hear someone
talking to me.
WTF
– Oh Shit – Conversation – already??? I grab for the
towel - Scumba’s handing me a beer and someone’s talking
to me about Wild Turkey being purchased by a French
company. Something’s gotta give. I’m having sensory
overload. The GD towel is falling - get the beer – wild
turkey what???? AArgggh - fuck it! I caught the towel –
threw it over my shoulder – grabbed my beer – smiled as
best I could – turned to the wild turkey guy (Uh Huh –
Uh huh) and thought----this is my introduction to Hedo –
In for a penny, in for a pound.
I’m nude talking to a dude (I'd rather it be a girl)
standing in Jamaica with a beer in my hand my boys on
the loose my ass totally nekkid not looking too graceful
with the whole towel grabbing thing, but WTF! I chatted
with the guy for few minutes and then walked off after
he got his drinks. From then on, it was no big deal. The
veterans are right. You gotta jump right in so you don’t
miss a minute of it.
I made my way to the pool. Found a spot at the swim up
bar and burned a few minutes listening to the chatter. I
saw some folks I met on line and recognized them from
their pics. I took the wild turkey guy’s approach and
decided bashful was for the birds. I called out to them
and they immediately recognized me. We got acquainted
and they introduced me to a whole other group of people.
Less than an hour in Hedo and I was part of a group – a
group of naked people from all walks of life, of all
shapes and sizes of several different colors all
spending time talking – drinking and most of all LIVING.
The weight of the world at home was falling off my
shoulders so fast that words can’t express the relief
that was coming over me at that very moment. I was home.
Really, some 46 years on this earth and I just came
home.
The next few days were filled with very late nights and
very little sleep. I’ll sleep when I get home (I
thought). You don’t really seem to need a lot as long as
you take a small nap in the late late afternoon. I met a
girl from England and we had dinner together. I met a
nice couple from Germany (M&G). I met another girl (‘E”)
from Germany and shared some cocktails with her on the
deck outside the dining room on my third evening.
I met two single sisters from Florida, S & P. Both very
nice. P and I hung out the rest of the time together. We
met several different groups. To the rookies, if you
think people don’t want to interact, you’re wrong. Don’t
be shy. That’s what they’re there for. That doesn’t mean
sex. I’m talking about talking, sharing life experiences
and making life-long friends. I read about in the
forums, but wasn’t really sure how it would come. It
comes naturally, don’t over-think it. Some of it was a
blur and some was very soft -sensual and will remain
with me for the rest of my life.
P and I took second place on the nude waterslide the
first day it was opened up for our group. The second day
I won first place for the biggest splash. P won second
place for the best “O” scream. We all had to make three
runs to qualify. On the second run I mentioned to P that
the prudes at the prude pool looked bored. I suggested
we invade the pool with the 25 plus nudes going down the
slide.
I finished my third run and learned as I got out of the
plunge pool, that P floated the suggestion past everyone
else and we were on! The 2009 Prude Pool Invasion was a
GO! Once the waterslide was done, we all huddled at the
gate between the slide and the prude pool deck. KATA
gave the signal and in excess of 25 completely nekkid
peeps overran the 15 prudes just wallowing in their
prudish pity. Bathing suit clad bodies were dodging and
darting everywhere, trying to avoid all the nekkid
cooties. We played with THEIR volleyball for a few
rounds and then unceremoniously excused ourselves from
the nightmare that was the prude pool on that day. The
2009 PRUDE POOL INVASION was a resounding success. I
have to give a shout out to the 2009 PRUDE POOL INVASION
Co-Chair….”P” you were magnificent. Never was there a
better hanging out partner than YOU!
We had the opportunity to convert two groups of
semi-prudes to nudes after a late night at the disco.
Some of the best times were late at night at the hot
tub. PDA’s were often, but never too much. Only a couple
of guys made pests of themselves. Something I wanted to
avoid for myself. I found that easily accomplished
through a lot of respect, careful and thoughtful
conversation. Refrain from getting sloppy drunk.
The piano bar is a great source of entertainment. It’s
never the same since the audience interacts with the
performers, so no two nights are the same. Karaoke night
was the bomb. I’ve NEVER sang in public, b/c I can’t
sing well at all. But after much cajoling and a lot of
coconut rum, I was up there singing Kenny Rogers to P.
Who was that guy? And how did I become him. The magic of
HEDO, I guess. Well I want more that’s for sure.
The last night I was there, all my friends and I agreed
to dress up a little for my last night. I was going home
a day before all of them. I was gonna miss Toga Nite –
stupid rookie. Everyone looked great. P looked so
pretty, I can’t even tell you. We ate. We danced our
asses off in front of the main stage. I think my little
group danced so well we stole the rest of the night from
the EC’s.
Some
of us made it to the piano bar for one more round of
entertainment. Later, we spent a few hours enjoying the
Jamaican air out by the pool and the jetty. The Hot Tub
was busy, but the air was peaceful. Somewhere in the
middle of the night, it was time for me to go. I needed
to pack and be ready for my ride to the airport.
The next morning was somber. The onset of DIF was
obvious. I said good-bye to everyone and waited the
remaining ten minutes for the bus. It seemed like
forever. I had a rush of emotion like never before. On
the ride out, I was so conflicted by the bonds I had
made over just 6 days at Hedo. I met so many wonderful
people, so many great couples, and so many real friends.
Would I ever see them again?
Like I said before, I read about this on the board, but
didn’t know how it would feel to experience it
first-hand. What an elixir of life - The cure to my
aching heart - The respite for me, the weary traveler
through a life of ups and downs. I left Hedo with a
resolve to return; a resolve to be changed wholly, not
in part. A resolve to keep the bonds I made with my
newest of best friends.
P.S. Best staff I encountered at Hedo in no particular
order: Nigel, Scumba, Delroy, Kata, Natalie, Charles,
and GG. Okay, I confess Scumba kept the booze flowing.
Nigel made sure I got my share of Jerk chicken everyday!
Slainte, Bros! Respect every time!
P.P.S. Mark Twain was right!!
Part II
Additional
info on the resort
My first installment centered on "the experience." so this
is about Hedo and the resort as an enterprise.
Food: IMHO, was very good. I ate each day from the main
dining area, so I could enjoy the stage show with my
friends. Every day, there was a good variety of food. The
pasta line was always well attended and folks seemed to
enjoy what they got.
Rooms: My room was clean. The staff was very attentive. When
I declined service, they left me alone. When I posted for
service, it was prompt. The A/C was strong and kept my room
cool. i had no problems with hot or cold water.
Bars: the bar staff was great. once i made their
acquaintance and talked with them a little, they became my
friends and service was great! They knew my drinks and the
drinks my ladies were taking too!
Nude Grill: Nigel was the bomb. He took care of my order
every afternoon.
Front desk: very good - at all hours. in the deep of the
night - one night - don't remember which night...my room
card didn't work. They asked some security questions and
once my ID was verified they squared away a new key for me.
No problems at all.
The Grounds: constant maintenance. They’re maintenance
maniacs. Someone was always trimming, cutting, clearing or
cleaning. Very impressive. The place looked great.
I took some floats and never needed them.
Someone on the boards suggested GATORADE for hangovers. I
brought some and it was great for curing that problem.
I never had any problems getting a lounger on the beach or
at the pool. There were no problems with folks "saving"
their place.
I've been to an all-inclusive before and there were hidden
charges... I found none here. I hardly spent any money at
the resort. Truly all-inclusive...!!
The entertainment was great. The hosts were fun and
energizing.
I took a bubba keg with me, but didn't use it. I found the
small little plastic cups were a good way of regulating the
alcohol/water intake ratios. It worked for me, but if you're
drinking beer, I really wasn't...had just a few...then it
would be a good idea - the bubba keg in case I lost you
there. Probably good for frozens like the pinas or the
daiquiris.
So IMHO the resort was great and in good shape. I really had
no complaints!
Dennis