Moe & Mo - April, 2007
4/15/07-4/21/07 Mo & Moe
Very Short Version: Had a great time! We were there with the Buttcrackers group (sort of honorable members), and were able to see Doc celebrate his 100th visit. The sun shone every day, food was average to good (but we never went hungry), towels were scarce but not altogether absent, PDA's were seen, but not with as much frequency, there were a couple of VInnie's but they were more of the harmless/loveable sort. The rest of the single guys were great and very friendly and not at all disrespectful. The new safes are great, but the new key cards aren't that great- they keep malfunctioning. Bad news was that the A/C was out of commission all week. The room never got smoltering hot, but there were some warm nights. A fan would have helped. All in all, a wonderful vacation.
Very Long Version: Sunday 4/14 Well, Moe and I did the deed and got married on Saturday, April 14 and now were ready to celebrate and relax, Hedo-style, in Jamaica. Even though this was a "working vacation" since I was the assigned aerobics instructor for the week, we were still looking forward to a week of relaxation and a little naughty fun as newleyweds. We left on an 11:15 pm flight from Las Vegas with a layover in Miami, then from there to MBJ. Moe wanted to sleep the entire way, so I gave him one of my Lunesta sleeping pills while we waited at the gate. Before I knew it, his head was in my lap and he was snoring. When it was time to board, he was so disoriented that he literally walked into the wall twice. I had to guide him into his seat. I took a Lunesta too and we slept like babies all of the way to Miami.
Monday 4/16 Once arriving in Miami at 6:30am on Monday, we noticed that our layover, which was originally scheduled to be a very long 4 hours, was now going to be closer to 5 1/2 hours. Since I booked the flight, I was hoping Moe wouldn't notice. He did, but luckily, he was so groggy from the Lunesta, that he didn't seem to be too upset about it. Finally, we boarded the plane for the last leg of our flight to Jamaica. When we stepped off the plane, I noticed that the airport looked a little better than usual. Apparently it has been updated and expanded- at least part of it has. We walked through some very modern hallways until getting to the immigration area. Although the line seemed long, things moved very quickly, and we went down to the updated baggage claim where we retrieved all of our bags easily, breezed through customs and onto the new Superclubs lounge. Although I liked the old lounge better because it was a bit more private, this one was also very nice. We were provided with cold bottled water and waited about 15 minutes until our bus was ready to leave.
All of the bus passengers with the exception of one couple were going to Hedo, so that made for a lively trip. We made friends with one couple visiting for the first time to give them the quick overview of the resort. While we were chatting, the bus driver was trying to describe the countryside and sights along the way. Of course, having taken this trip several times before, we weren't really paying attention. Well, I guess the driver got a little upset or offended, but he basically told Moe to shut up while he conducted his tour! Moe was really annoyed and declared, "Well, there goes his tip!" I just shook my head and decided to try to sleep. We made it to the beer/smoke break and although Moe got off, I decided to stay on the bus and try to talk to the women who also remained behind. They were polite, but not particularly friendly, so I pegged them for prudes and went back to reading my book.
Soon thereafter, we arrived at the resort and there were hugs all around. It was like seeing long-lost family. Before long, our good friends F and J came up to the front and there were even more hugs. F gave us the Hedo gossip- the TeaseUm clothing company was shooting photographs of models around the resort, and the famed author Chris Santilli was going to arrive in a few days. After a few minutes (and a quick drink from the bar), we were assigned our room- 1236- the same room we had last year! (Prude side, near the path to Pastafari). We dont mind walking back and forth to the nude side- at least we can burn off a few calories that way. When we arrived at the room, we opened the door, and were greeted with a blast of...lukewarm air. Turns out, the air conditioning at the resort wasn't working. Although the room wasn't stifling hot, it would have been nice if it were a little cooler. However, we had one of the new digital safes, which was able to hold a lot more stuff than the old ones. Other than that, the room was exactly as we remembered. We showered (the water was nice and hot) and changed out of our travel clothes and went straight to the nude beach.
F& J had their spots all set up along the beach with all of our other members: D& C and C & B. After hugs and hellos, Moe and I hit the grill for some jerk chicken and fries. Since I had been dieting before the wedding, I was starved! I had a grilled cheese sandwich along with my jerk chicken and fries, and hummingbird, before I was satisfied. Moe and I hung out for a little while longer at the nude pool, but I started getting tired, so I decided to leave him at the beach talking while I went to take a nap. He wandered in a few hours later and promptly passed out. I woke up at 9, slightly hungry and very sleepy. Moe didn't want anything to eat, and I didn't feel like changing clothes and going to dinner, so I snuck down to the dining room, fixed a plate of food, got a Ting and took it back to the room. Moe woke up sometime later, and decided that he wanted to walk around for awhile. He ended up connecting with F, D and B and conducted an evening "Hot Tub Patrol!" Who knows what infractions they saw on those rounds, but I'm sure they kept us safe!
Tues. 4/17 The next morning, I woke up at about 7:20 and headed for the gym. Hedo II definitely has one of the nicest hotel gyms around. New strength training equipment, stability balls, free weights, spin bikes, bosu balls, and an aerobics studio. Unfortunately, the cardio equipment is in serious need of update. With the air conditioning problems, my workout was a little more challenging than usual, as well. One person showed up for my aerobics class, so I got an extra workout as well. After the gym, I showered (still had hot water, yea!) and Moe and I went to breakfast. We got a little ribbing about missing dinner the previous night, especially since the group had gotten the table decorated for us. Moe felt really bad, but the women understood how tired we were from the wedding planning and travel, so it was no big deal.
I had been looking forward to one of Charlie's omelettes and some french toast, which I ate with glee. Moe was a little peeved that I got served before him even though he had been waiting for longer, but Charlie and I go way back! Unfortunately, I only had about an hour after breakfast until I had to teach water aerobics on the nude side, so I took a quick nap, changed, and headed over to the nude beach. The class went really well, with F diving through our massage circle at the end of class for a big finish. After class, I shared a smoke with a generous soul, while Moe flitted around from spot to spot meeting and greeting new people. F and I decided to call Moe "Restless Leg Syndrome" because he couldn't seem to sit still.
We spent the following days meeting new people, including our email friends Daddy & Daddy's Little Princess, new friends K&A from Oregon, and old friends from last year including Kit Kat and J&A, and Bunz z and Art. The rest of the day was spent having drinks, getting in and out of the pool, and lounging on the beach (well, I did, anyway), until the afternoon just seemed to drift away. K& A offered to pay for us all to get spa treatments the following day. Unfortunately, A picked the service, and chose a peppermint scrub for us ladies and a massage for the men (I wanted a massage!).
Moe was very well liked and popular, both for his bubbly personality and for his physique (especially a certain body part). Watching other people's reactions to him was entertainment in and of itself. Later in the afternoon, Moe and I shared a cheeseburger and jerk chicken and fries, then I decided to head back to the room to nap once again. Moe said that he'd be right up, but I woke up in a panic at almost 7:00, noticing that Moe wasn't there. I trooped back down to the nude side, where my beloved was stinking drunk, and stumbling around, but in great spirits.
We had dinner in the main dining room with our friends, where I showed off my "Bride" t-shirt and rhinestone boyshorts with "Moe's Girl" on the butt as well as Moe's "Monogamy is Sexy" t-shirt. After we ate, we watched Battle of the Sexes, which although fun, seemed to drag on and on. We saw our first timer friends from the bus, and they were having a great time. We spotted Gavin, who had changed his look from last year, and he gave Moe quite the greeting! After the show, we went back to the room to change for PJ night, which was being held in the main dining room due to the air conditioning problems. PJ night wasn't as fun in the dining room, mainly because it was a little too open. We danced a few dances, then decided to take a walk. We ended up at the gazebo next to the plunge pools and decided to have a little fun. I noticed a few of the employees lingering in the shadows watching, but beside that, we were alone. After awhile, we decided to leave and take it back to the room, where we were much more successful in our efforts- again and again. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to sleep, so I kept trying to rouse Moe throughout the night- with varying degrees of success. Finally, I drifted off to sleep at about 5:30 in the morning.
Wed. 4/19 I got up the next morning at about 7:30 and headed to the gym for my workout then headed back to the room to shower. Moe was quite pleased and amazed at my skills from the previous night. At breakfast, the omelette line was too long, so I opted for scrambled eggs and sliced some cheese up in them. Not as great as one of Charlie's creations, but definitely tasty. I also discovered the croissoints. YUM! Since they were out of strawberry jam, I used honey- a decidedly more delicious substitution.
Water aerobics was fun as usual, with even more people attending. I seemed to be developing quite a following! Afterwards, I had a drink and relaxed while watching Moe flit from person to person, Soon, it was time for my spa treatment with A. Rather than being at the spa, it was given in one of the small massage huts on the beach. Invigorating would be the PC word for that treatment. Painful would be the true and correct description. Although the scrub felt good on my feet, everywhere else, it felt like she was scrubbing off a layer of skin! I know it was supposed to exfoliate, but jeez! The best part was when she rubbed my scraped up body with oil at the end. Apparently A felt the same way about our treatment. I'll gladly cross that spa experience off my list.
I hung out on the beach with Moe for a bit longer, before I decided it was time for my afternoon siesta. I headed to the prude grill and got a grilled turkey and cheese sandwich, fries, some nachos, and topped them with melted cheese and that deliciously sweet ketchup. Only at Hedo! I grabbed a Ting at the bar (avoiding the judgmental eyes of the Teasum models, but facing some jerk who told me how unhealthy my meal was- and headed back to the room to indulge in my meal- only to find out that my key card had stopped working! I had to troop down to the front desk for them to reporgram it, then back to the room. Oh well, it still tasted good cold!
After eating and napping, Moe still wasn't back, so I headed back to the nude pool, where he was the life of the party as usual. I took him back to the room, reminding him that we were supposed to go to dinner with everyone at Musan at 7:30. Of course, Moe passed right out, and I had to basically force him to get into the shower and go to dinner. Mussan was surprisingly good- especially their new seafood salad. We hung around the main dining area for awhile, then decided to head down to the disco. The DJ wasn't all that great (can they please take Family Affair by Mary J Blige off the playlist?), but we danced for awhile, then walked over to the nude pool. There were a few couples in the hottub, but nothing spectacular going on. After a quick walk, we went past the dining room, where Moe picked up a plate of sandwiches and we headed back to the room for the evening.
Thurs. 4/20 After another early morning back in the gym, I headed back to the room to shower and change for breakfast with Moe and the rest of the crew. Again, the omelette line was too long, so I opted for eggs and a slice of french toast. I was also quite disappointed to see that they were all out of croissoints. Unfortunately, the eggs were disgusting- very runny and watery. I decided to brave the line and ordered up scrambled eggs with mushroom and cheese from Charlie. Although it took forever, it was a definite improvement over the runny eggs.
Water aerobics was even more fun and there were even more people attending. After class, I hung out at the pool for awhile while Moe did his normal meet-and-greet routine. He came by every so often to introduce me to people, including a very cute couple from North Carolina. Turns out, we were all alumni of the same university. We reminisced about different people, places and things and the morning passed quickly. I got into the cool jacuzzi and met some more people, including a large woman who had just had gastric bypass surgery the previous month. She was a hoot, though and kept calling me "perfect tits!" She couldn't believe that my boobs were "store-bought." She said that she had been to Hedo many times before, but this time was the first time she was even able to come to the nude side because she never could walk that far. I really admired her courage and her spirit. That's what Hedo is all about. We also met a Puerto Rican couple from New York who had just arrived Wednesday night and headed straight for the disco. That's what I call jumping in with both feet! I met a girl who everyone thought was my sister. Even Moe mistook her for me earlier in the day. We were about the same height and complexion, but that's about it. Nonetheless, we called each other "Twin" for the rest of the week. We met a couple who had come over for the day and before we knew it, they were having so much fun that they tried to book a night at Hedo. We didn't see them again, so I assume they were unsuccessful.
The afternoon passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for my afternoon meal and nap. I headed back to the prude grill and got a grilled cheese sandwich, fries and pickles and headed back to the room. Luckily, my room key worked fine and I enjoyed my meal and nap. Moe came in a couple of hours later. We had a little fun, much to the delight of our next door neighbor, who stood at our open door and watched us. For the rest of the week, he'd give us a knowing smile and talk about the virtues of good neighbors whenever he saw us. After our fun, Moe promptly passed out once again. I went ahead and showered and started to get ready for toga night. Although it didn't take Moe too much prompting to get up and start getting ready, the toga was another story. I brought safety pins and everything, but just couldn't seem to get his toga to stay put. My toga was much easier- I just wore a short white dress, some FMPs and put on my wedding veil. It ended up being a Bridal Toga! After we got Moe together as much as possible, we headed down to the dining room. The talent night was pretty good, but of course the highlight of things was F and Doc's performance of "Down on the Nude Beach" (to the tune of Under the Boardwalk). It was so good that it not only received a standing ovation, but the crowd demanded an encore. They performed La Bamba as a follow up, which was great as well.
After watching toga night (we have become a little jaded about toga night and dont participate in the conga line), we headed outside and talked to our new friends from North Carolina for awhile. They were so fun and sweet. We discussed everything from boob jobs to reality tv and really enjoyed their company. At around 11 (but who can keep track of time at Hedo), we decided to go change clothes and go down to the disco. It was full of the Teasum Models trying to dance sexily on the stage and with each other. Unfortunately, the music was about the same, even though the two Puerto Rican girls and I went to the DJ to request songs. After awhile, we just left and took a walk over to the nude side. We saw F, D and B sitting on lounge chairs by the pool looking at the stars and keeping an eye on the hot tub festivities. We sat and talked to them for a few minutes before continuing back to the room. I can't remember if Moe headed back out, because I promptly fell asleep.
Friday, April 19 After completing my hot and sweaty workout, Moe and I showered and headed down to breakfast. The eggs were a little better and there were croissoints as well. We finished up and headed back to the room for a rest before going to the nude side for water aerobics. It was overcast and a little chilly, so the water was freezing! I half-hoped that no one would want to take class, but sure enough, people started filling the pool for class. After a half-hour of jumping and moving, we all were a little warmer. The clouds didn't seem to want to break, so the day was spent in the pool for a little while, then back on a lounge chair to try to warm up. As usual, the day passed quickly, and soon it was time for me to head to the prude side for my meal and nap. I had only been asleep for a good 40 minutes, when Moe burst back into the room to wake me up. "Wake up! You have to go back to the beach to meet some people." "Who? What?" I replied groggily. It turned out that some friends of Daddy's Little Princess had just arrived and were waiting to meet me. I got myself together and headed back to the nude beach with Moe, where we met 2 other black couples. They were a lot of fun and before long, we will drinking shots of Purple MFs and coconut rum and pineapple juice while UPS Man made his delivery to the nude beach to celebrate Doc's 100th visit. We headed into the hottub, which was crowded with couples hugging and kissing and a few single guys watching.
After awhile, I started feeling a little overheated, so we said we'd see everyone at the Beach Gala. We took a nap upon arriving back to the room, and then went ahead and got ready to head down to the beach. Everything was set up very nicely, with lots of tables and food stations set up. It was kind of hard to know where everything was because it was very dark and I stumbled in the sand a couple of times, but we managed to find a lot of good food. I had my "Moe is Mine" rhinestone boyshorts underneath my dress, so I flashed everyone and showed them off. After eating, Moe and I watched a little of the Teaseum fashion show, then left the beach.
While eating, I couldn't keep my hands off Moe, so we headed back to the room for a little fun. Afterwards, we went to the disco to see if we could persuade the dj to play some different music. We danced for awhile, but unfortunately, the dj reverted back to his old standby list of songs soon after we got into a groove. We took a short walk, then headed back to the room for even more fun. As usual, I was wired from taking my happy pill, so I watched tv all night while Moe slept.
Sat. 4/20 I got out of bed at 7:15 for my last full day at Hedo. Even though I hadn't really slept, I hadn't quite crashed yet. Nevertheless, I was really glad that I wasn't required to teach water aerobics that morning. F &J and D&C were leaving that morning, so we said our goodbyes, complete with hugs and pouting. A group of us set up on "Moon Hill" to give the bus a parting gift, but had to abandon that plan when we realized that the bus wasn't leaving anytime soon. Instead, we went right up to the bus and let the moonshine show. I started to come down from my high and figured that I needed to sleep, so I crashed for a couple of hours in the room. Moe, of course, took up his post on the nude beach. He was supposed to wake me up at noon, but of course, he didn't make it back to the room, so I headed down to the beach alone. To my surprise, I received a rousing welcome from the nude pool, which was almost full! Turns out, Biff's Bunch had arrived and boy were they lively! Many people had heard about my water aerobics class and were disappointed that I wasn't teaching it that day. Instead, they asked if I could just jump around on the pool deck for awhile. I couldn't say no to that request, so I gave them a few jumps and received a round of applause.
Finally, Moe showed up at the nude pool. We spent the afternoon meeting new people, hanging out with our old friends, and basically just having a good time. The entire pool applauded a blow job given to completion (and swallowed) in the cool jacuzzi, and welcomed a group of girls who were visiting from Grand Lido. Before I knew it, the afternoon had melted away and it was jerk chicken time. I wanted to have my usual lunch of grilled cheese and fries, but didn't want to miss any of the action by taking a nap. I asked the cook at the nude grill if she would make a grilled cheese sandwich for me, but she gave me a very annoyed look and said, "it will take awhile." I said okay, and picked up a plate of jerk chicken and fries for Moe and I to share. After we finished, I went back over to the grill and saw that she hadn't made any effort to even start preparing my sandwich. Rather than make a scene, (we are on vacation, right?) I just picked up another plate of jerk chicken and fries and an extra plate of fries for Moe (which I ate most of).
We decided to make a full evening of it, so I didn't take my afternoon nap. I didn't want to miss anything- the combination of the Buttcrackers and the Biff's Bunch was so much fun! Once it started getting dark, we walked back to the room and just showered, changed, and went back to the dining room for dinner. We watched the contests, took some pictures, said some goodbyes, and just enjoyed the evening. After dinner, we hit the disco, which was poppin! We danced for a good long while, and the music was decent. Besides that, I was enjoying watching people get drunker and drunker, especially our friends from Chapel Hill. I did an impromtu pole dance while no one was looking. By the end of the night, our Chapel Hill friend was so bombed that she decided to go down the waterslide- even though there was no water on the slide and she was fully dressed! Finally, we decided to call it a night and headed to bed.
Sun 4/21 The next day was a sad one, because it was departure day. I made it to the gym for my last workout, and pigged out at breakfast. In fact, I ate so much that I immediately got super-tired and had to take a nap on one of the gazebos since we had already checked out. We said our goodbyes and exchanged information, hugs, and promises to see each other next year.
Special shouts to: E&S- Tarheels forever! Woody- our favorite Englishman Leo- the most loveable Vinny ever- he commits to the role! Jeff- hope to see you on the big screen soon! All of our new friends!