Mikey (UPSMan) - April, 2007
Hi, My name is Mikey, Mickey, upsman, upsmike ,good lookin ,blond bond
and the list goes on and on. I am a Hedo addict and this was my 19th
offence. This is my story.
I usually go in the month of March but as fate has it, I went in April
with the Buttcrackers and there is no turning back.
I tried USAIR this time because it got me to Mobay by 950am. Great move
on my part. I met my "hedowife" Joanie when I connected in Charlotte
which was weird because she was on the same flight when I left Newark.
Now no one said I was a rocket scientist. We got in on time and breezed,
I mean breezed thru customs. blah blah blah, we are on da bus. Met up
with Bob and Rhonda ,newbies , some vets and away we go.
We got to the gates of glory at about 1115am. Greeted by St. Charlton
with a warm welcome and a smooth check in. For me anyway. My room was
ready
I have to thank my hot bitch The Hedo Diva and Kat for talking me into
going this week. It was a momentous week with the honoring of our friend
Doc Kelley. It was his 100th trip and the resort gave him the red carpet
treatment. It was party after party for Doc.
On this trip I met my first vinney. I have heard and read about them but
never came across any. Maybe i just don't pay attention but this guy was
soooo out of place. His first night he walked around with a phantom of
the opera mask. He was pretty harmless but his opinion of women was
outrageously low. I was standing at the bar with my pal Kennyk. and He
proceeded to tell us a story of his conquest in the afternoon. It really
bothered us what he said but we made a joke of it later. We dubbed him
Mussels Marinara or m2 for short.
I can understand now why some people dislike the single macho horny
canolis.
At hedo you can't help giving people code names. It' just happens. Like
charman, the man with a stain on his butt or dustin douche bag, for
obvious reasons.
I have to admit, this time around was a bit different. I had no air
conditioning my first 3 days but they gave me a fan and hey, I was hot
at night but I said, would I rather be here or back in NYC. Hedo gets
the nod. The food was really bad except for the fish. This is the first
time in a long time I can remember it being so blah. On my last day,
Kenny went into town and picked up pizza for himself,me and Miss
Santilli. It was sooo good.
I understand that the night pass policy is changing for the best. On
night two, i was in the hot tub with my Nebraska girlfriend Angie
her boyfriend Pete and this great couple, Catherine and Shawn. We hear a
girl screaming. It turns out that this couple from Wales were there on a
night pass and the boyfriend, who sounded just like Braveheart bit his
girlfriends head and started to hit her. We all jumped out of the
tub,called security and tried our best to help this girl. There was only
1 security guard handling this problem until Braveheart tried to headbut
him. Then more guards came out. It took nearly 1.5hrs to remove william
wallace from the resort. We took the young lady in, administered first
aid and offered her my room until the morning. I had plenty of other
places I could have bunked that night. She wouldn't hear of it. in a
cab , at her request and gave her some spending money. It is crap like
this that makes the resort quests hate the night pass people. We were
glad to help out but I would rather not put up with such crap.
The buttcrack parade had a hillbilly theme to it. I got that news too
late because I had my heart set on Capt.Jake sparrow and I followed
thru. It was a great costume. What a sight it was having 50 plus people
invading Sandals. I was walking with The Reverend and he had me in
stitches. Of course he was wearing a diaper and was harassing the
Sandals people with his golf club. We had no converts, not a one, nay
nay nay.
We celebrated Divas double nickle birthday also. Her husband Art went
fishing and caught her a Dolphin fish which he cleaned and cooked for
her. He also brought her breakfast everyday on the beach. The love they
have for each other is second to none.
I did put on my UPS uniform and made a few deliveries. I took a ride on
the beach with one of the white trucks. Drove practically up to Delroys
and popped out. Just like Jim Carry In Ace Ventura movie. I delivered a
package from Diva and Kat to Scumba. He was thrilled to death. But the
main reason was to Deliver an envelope to Doc. It had a special
newsletter in it about his history at hedo. The best part was asking him
for I.D. You can imagine what he should me.
Each morning I would go over to the Prude beach for my morning swim and
some quiet time. I think you need that to pace your vacation. I would
also try to convert some people while i was there. I met some
great people over there. Elsie and Frank and Usher and Wendy.
Couldn't convert them but had a great time with them.
I finally met some people from dennys. Princess Dara , the black vulcan amongst
them.
I have met some awsome people this time around.
Moses (the mighty moe),big poppa pump and the iceman (randy and gus),
H.,Marty,the reverend, Marcel and gracie, Dee and this goes on.
Special shout outs to Angie and Pete, Catherine and Shawn, Chris S. ,
Kenny K. , JoJo.Doc and Sherry
If I left anyone out, you know it wasn't on purpose, I am just brain
dead
Spanksgiving soon come