Hi,
My name is Mikey but I go by other names. upsman,gekkoman,mikeyups,upsmikey
and now it seems I have a new name after this trip, Turtle bite.
This was my 18th trip and I got to use my free one. YOO_HOOO!
I was very surprised when I got to Mobay. It was the first year the new wing
of the airport was open. It felt like the never ending journey going thru all
those halls to get to immigration. When I finally got to immigration, it
looked like a giant bread line they used to have in communist Poland. 1.5hrs
on line and finally made it through and got to the lounge. Oh the air was
thick with the snotty bastards going to Grand Lido. I was saying to myself,
self, This is a crappy way to start my vacation but they can kiss my white
Jamaican ass. I was wondering how this was going to turn out because the only
people I knew at the resort were "The crazed Weasels" aka John and Carol. I
have gone many times by myself and have absolutely no fear of not having a
great time but it always helps to know a few people on a personal
basis. I did meet some people on the Equinox and H2 in March web sites but you
can't count on that.
Anyway, got on the bus and was out numbered by the Lido snots so it was a
boring ass bus ride. I got barked at by some pregnant wench at the pit stop. I
got out of the bus and while everyone was getting their drinks, I stayed a
respectable distance away from the bus and had a smoke. Cigarette that is.
Well this girl was BARKING, I am pregnant and you are making me sick. I was
like you are ugly and you are making me sick but I am not saying anything and
to think she reproduces, YUK!. So now everyone is staring at me and I am like
on the side of the building saying, what the f-. So I put it out and she is
going on and on. I am like this is going to suck. We are making the turn into
Hedo and for the first time in my hedo career they went to Lido first. I
thought it was a bit lame that these shitbags get off the bus and are handed
wet towels to wipe off their sweaty eyebrows. Oh eat me!
Finally I get to Hedo. I felt like kissing the ground like the pope does when
he gets off a plane. I see Mike Harvey. He hands me a Laurel and gives me a
Harty handshake. Only kidding about the Laurel. I had to wait awhile for my
room, but I am like it's 430pm,. what up. It was worth the wait. H block, in
the house!
Throw everything in the room, down to the beach. Get a dirty orange from
Delroy and then it starts. I meet Donna and Jim, then Maryanne and the
skipper too. The millionaire and his wife. Sorry, got carried away again.
Mares and Patrick. Finally John and Carol. Everything Ire and the fun begins.
A laugh a minute.
The only thing I am going to say about this trip was the food was
sub-standard. The service was great.
Shout outs
Boston Mike, Patty, I am so glad I finally got to meet you.
Anita (the hedo diva) and Art. Wow. Anita, I met you and took an instant
liking to you. Many laughs around Delroys.
Kat and Doc. Two easy going and fantastic people
Donna and Patrick. I felt like I knew you all my life. Thanks for making my
vacation a great one.
Irish and Mares. You guys are hysterical. Philly in the house!!!!
A special thanks to Mares and Donna for the invention of the Turtle bite and
keeping me away from shiney things.
John and Carol. I can't imagine being at Hedo without you two. You make the
vacation fun and interesting. Carols new editions are marvelous!
George and Jackie. Newbies that are always in the Hedo groove. Nobody makes a
better cake than you guys.
Suzanne. You da chick. You opened my eyes to a lot of things. You are hotter
than hell and I can't wait to see you again.You made my vacation complete.
Chris and Lauren. You bring a new meaning to NUTZ. Great people. You both
added so much energy to the resort and nobody does tattoos like "yous"
Jen and Chuck. Wish you could have stayed longer and I really enjoyed watching
you guys grow at Hedo. Jen gives the best turtle bite
Marci and Howard. Congratulations and Suzanne will give you spanking lessons
in 2007.
Dot and Scott. You guys are soooo cool. Scott. I can't believe
Springsteen didn't like your audition. Dot, cheesecake is coming.
Wid. Where the hell did Wid go??
and everyone else who made this a "ROCKIN" time.
All the best