ROCKY START 

We were supposed to fly out of Metro Detroit at 6:03 a.m.  We figured if we left our house at 3:30 a.m. we would arrive with plenty of time to spare.  That is unless you head in the opposite direction of the airport, and dont realize it until your going 20 minutes the wrong way.  We turned around and went about 100 mph trying to arrive on time.  We had reserved a motel room where you could drop your car off before you leave on your flight, and they would not charge you for parking.  We would be returning pretty late at night, so we were going to stay at the motel on the return trip.  There was no time to check into the hotel, so we headed right for the air port into what, WE THOUGHT, was long term parking.  We ran into the Airport to check in and were informed we had exactly 2 minutes to check in.  After that, we were told to run to the other end of the airport to make our flight.  As we approached the gate they were making the announcement that this would be the last call for John and Kathy.  After being reprimanded by the Ticket taker, we boarded the airplane. 

ARRIVAL 

We arrived in Jamaica to very long Customs lines.  We brought our birth certificates and marriage licenses and didnt have any problem.  They didnt even go through our luggage, like they were doing to so many other people.  We went to the super clubs lounge, and waited about 20 minutes before we boarded our bus.  We were off the Hedonism III with 2 other couples.  The couple, ahead of us, was pretty chatty and through conversation we learned they had lived in the same city John was currently working in.  Humph, what a small world. 

We made one drink/potty stop, whereas, John and I decided to wait in the bus.  When couple seated behind us, returned to the bus, the husband stated he had been offered drugs in the restaurant.  I was surprised it took this long to be offered drugs. 

HEDONISM III

Friday, June 9, 2006

We checked in at the front desk and were informed our room was not ready, and we were told to head inside and get lunch and drinks.  As we entered the resort, I looked around, and thought were DEFINEATELY not in Kansas anymore.  People were walking around, half naked, see-through clothing, barely-there bathing suits, and John and I were walking around in dark t-shirts, jeans, and I was carrying my purse.  Yup we were definitely out of place.  We had on waaaaaaaaaaay to many clothes.  Even so, people were friendly and greeted us as we made our way to the Scotch Bonet for lunch and adult beverages.

After lunch, we went back to the check in desk, and were told our room was ready.  We were escorted to our nude side, ocean view suite, (thank you, Denny P), and I looked out our window, to see a beautiful ocean view, and heavens-to-Betsy, nekkid people!

John and I decided to walk around the resort and check it out.  We stopped at each of the bars we came across to get a drink and a shot.  By the end of our walk I suggested to John, I think we should head to the nude beach.

 I wasnt exactly sure of the proper etiquette for getting nude on the beach, so I put my bikini on, and I believe, John threw a towel around his waist.

We walked onto the beach, eyes straight ahead, and found two lounge chairs, away from the other folks.  I took a deep breath and whipped off my suit and lay in my birthday suit in the warm breeze listening to the sound of the ocean lapping against the rocks.  I looked over and saw John basking in the sun, and I thought this is so sexy and so cool!!!  After five minutes, I looked around and realized I was stark naked, and nobody cared.  It was all very carefree and natural. 

Before the trip, I had agonized for months about the shape I was in.  I really watched my diet, and walked on the treadmill, religiously, 1 hour a day, 5 days a week.  Once I was there, and looked around, I realized, I wasnt the fittest person there, and I wasnt the most out of shape person there either.  My husband is the most gorgeous man to walk the face of the earth (in my humble opinion), so he didnt anything to be concerned about.

Honestly there were women there, who could be in the next issue of Play Boy, and there were sweet older people in their 80s, and every body- type in between.   It was ALL good.

I noticed as we sat at the nude pool, 2 guys would continually walk by, both with chubbys, and they would strut by and ask, in the Joey voice from Friends, Hey how YOU doin?  I would just smile and say, Im fine thank you. As they would pass by, my husband muttered something about what was up with them taking Viagra before coming to the beach.

We ate dinner at the Main dining hall, and turned in early for bed, because we were off the Sandals, Ocho Rios, to attend Johns sons wedding, early the next morning.

 Boy those people at Hedo sure do know how to party.  We kept hearing roars and cheers constantly all night long until about 5 a.m.  The three nights we were at Hedonism III, the couple in the room next to us, fought every night.  They would come in slamming doors at all wee hours of the morning, cursing and yelling at one another.  One night the husband couldnt find his wife, and boy was he upset..

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Up bright and early for breakfast.  About half way there, we ran into a woman walking down the sidewalk stark naked.  She gave us a warm greeting, and after she went by, I told John she was the lady who was sitting on the bus in front of us on the way there.  We ate breakfast in the main dining hall (there were never enough tables in the morning, so we would eat by the bar under an umbrella table).  Afterwards, John went to the lobby to arrange for our cab ride for his sons wedding.  The price for the ride started out at $60 round trip, and by the third person he discussed it with, it escalated to $100.  When the cap driver arrived, he agreed to $40 one way.  We went to the wedding, had a lovely time, and came back to Hedo for another $40.  It had been a long day, so we pretty much went straight to bed. Once again people outside were whooping and hollering, and our neighbors were fighting until 5 a.m. 

Sunday, June 11, 2006

We got up, ate breakfast, wondered to the nude beach, drank, relaxed, went back to the room, got dressed and went sailing.  Got back, ate, drank, went to the nude pool, socialized, hooked up with someone, ate, drank, and went to our room to discover our eviction notice, and went to bed.  Once, again, cheers, screams, the neighbors fighting until 5 a.m. 

On a side note, we noticed Hedonism III was approximately 75% black, and 25% Caucasian, which was just an observance on our part, but we did notice we (were both Caucasian) were ignored at the Scotch Bonet, on several occasions. The people of color were served promptly and they didnt seem to be ignored.  Enough said about that. 

Monday, June 12, 2006

We got up, packed, checked out, and got breakfast while we waited for the bus to arrive.  We were pretty surprised to see a big tour bus pull up and our bags packed onto it. There were just a few people, who got on, but on the way to the airport, we made several stops, and by the time we arrived, the bus was packed.  The last stop we made was at the Sea Star Resort. A young gentleman boarded the bus, and the bus driver walked back to his seat and grabbed a doobie out of his hand and said, You dont bring that on here mon. 

It was kind of sad heading for the airport because we realized this was the end of these peoples vacation.  However, it was just the beginning of ours. 

When we arrived at the Montego Bay airport, the bus driver told us to stay on the bus, while the other passengers got off. He said he would be taking us on to Hedonism II.  The whole thing made me feel uneasy. A few minutes after the passengers deported the bus, an official looking guy asked us to get off the bus and follow him.  I can only guess the bus driver was doing something dishonest.  We were led to a smaller bus and waited until one more passenger arrived. 

Now it felt like our real vacation was beginning. 

The bus ride took about an hour and a half.  The scenery was so much nicer to Hedo II (in my opinion).  We made a stop at a little fruit stand, to stretch our legs.  Boy-oh-boy did the lady behind the counter try to sell us drugs.  We opted for water instead.  When our other passenger entered the store, he was offered some ganja, and when he said he was interested, she pulled out the biggest bundle my husband had ever seen.  We decided it would be a good time to go back to the bus.  I swear my husbands lower lip was sticking WAY out as we entered the bus.  (He got heart palpitations when hes smoked it in the past, so he hasnt smoked any in many years.  I havent tried it, and have decided thats one habit I dont want to get into).  

HEDONISM II 

We arrived, and, I liked it, I liked it, I liked it.  When I had envisioned what a tropical resort would look like, this was it.  It just felt different then Hedonism III.  After we checked in, we were escorted through the main dining area that was about 6 times larger than the dining area at Hedonism III.  We took a long walk to our room, and were a little disappointed to see the inside had white walls with steel gray trim, and red checkered window curtains.  (The room at Hedo III was so colorful and big) On the bright side, we had a nice view of the ocean, and who stays in the room anyway when youre at a place like Hedonism II.  

There is no comparison between the Hedo II beach and the Hedo III beach.

Hedo III has no nude beach to speak of.  When you walk along the ocean, there are big, sharp looking rocks, with signs posted along the water, warning you not to jump in.  At Hedo II, you can go on the beach and see lots of sand stretching in both directions. There are a lot of boats anchored in the ocean at a distance.  It is wondrous to go out there after dark and look across the ocean and see all the twinkling lights from the city of Negril. 

VACATION THRU JUNE 19, 2006 

We ate most of our meals in the main dining area. It was pretty good.   We would start drinking at 10:00 a.m. and continue throughout the day.  The funny thing is, we never felt drunk.

A typical day for us would be to eat breakfast, and then head out to the nude beach. Drink.  Go snorkel at 11:30 a.m.  Get back. Eat Lunch.  Drink.  Wed go sailing.  Eat at the Prude Grill.  Drink.  Head out to the nude beach. Drink.  Go back to our room and get cleaned up for dinner.  Eat dinner and enjoy the show in the Main Dining Hall.

The ECs were very entertaining, and we looked forward to being entertained by them.  We were eating dinner in the main dining one night and the ECs were dressed up in these wild costumes, and dancing with such enthusiasm.  A couple of the guys were dressed in dresses and high heels and Angel Wings, and it was a sight to behold. I know I will never forget it.  The ECs were out on the beach first thing in the morning, and throughout the day, and then they would entertain at the Main Dining Hall at night.  They were incredible. 

We went to the piano bar on Saturday night, which was quite interesting.  My husband sang a couple songs, but it seems that since he wasnt dancing naked on the piano and shoving his crotch into the piano players face, he wasnt as popular as some of the other patrons.  On a lighter side, I saw some things done on that piano that I hadnt realized; you could do on a piano.  (At least in public) 

About two days before our vacation ended we wandered over to the nude beach.   A new group had arrived, and apparently, they had their own clique going on.  My husband thought they looked over at him and made mention of the fat guy, so we didnt feel comfortable going over there again, the rest of the vacation.  Looking back, Im sorry we let that stop us from going to the nude side.  Lets face it.  Spending time on the beach with naked people is a lot more interesting than spending time on the beach without naked people. 

The day before we left, we were eating at the prude grill, when all of a sudden, a group of naked people paraded past, chanting an army-type song.  They were on their way to invade the prude side and take over the waterslide.  That was pretty funny, and made us smile and, why werent we on the nude side when this happened? 

On check out day, we sat on the bus with heavy hearts, feeling depressed as we waited to get going.  We noticed some people gathered at the resort entrance, and wondered what was going on.  As the bus pulled by the group, they all tuned their backs to us and mooned us and waved as we went by.  That lightened our mood and made us smile.  We were sent out in true Hedo fashion. 

 In my opinion, you can do just about anything you want at either Hedo resort, and fulfill any fantasy youve had.  I know we did.  My husband would suggest something, to which I would say, That aint gonna happen.  But it did! And more than once.  (Is there a chance my mom may read this?  Should I change my name to Ethel from Alaska, for this trip report?) 

RETURN FLIGHT 

We arrived back at Detroit at 10:00p.m., and we forgot where we had parked our car. By the time we found it, we discovered the battery was dead, and we had a flat tire. The key fobs battery was dead, so by the time we got a jump, we couldnt turn the car alarm off.

Oh, by the way, what we thought we had parked in was long term parking, was really short term parking.  We had to pay a $176 parking fee and then we beeped on out of there. (Couldnt turn the alarm off)

If you have any questions feel free to e-mail us at jplkalus@yahoo.com

Take Care, John & Kathy