Trip Report, Chicago Jake, April 1-8, 2006.
I traveled to Hedo 2 during April 1-8, 2006, with my buddy Larry. This was my 19th trip there. While on the premises, I filed daily reports on DennyPs website as Nudes From The Front. This trip report is a distillation of the posts that I filed while there. If that gives them a vaguely disjointed feeling, well, hopefully it also gives them a certain real-time appeal. I hope you like it!.......Jake
Sunday, April 2, 2006:
Hi
Gang - Checking in from Hedo. It's beautiful here, just like you remember it!
We just got in yesterday (Saturday). Air Jamaica was flawless for a change,
flying direct from Chicago, landing a half hour early. We even got a Harry
Potter movie on the flight. Immigration Hall was air conditioned (unlike last
December!) and the line moved at lightning speed. The bus driver to Negril was
a speed demon, and agreed not to waste our time at the Golden Apple. We
arrived at Hedo about an hour and fifteen minutes after leaving Sangster.
Tony was there to administer big hugs to everyone; he wouldn't settle for a
handshake. The front lobby security guard distributed Mimosas to everyone. We
did a couple shots and beers at the main bar to kick-start the trip.
We got a nice ocean view room, even though we'd booked Garden Nude. Not bad!
Great view of the nude beach between the dive shack and the boat dock.
Nothing much new to report, at least not that I've noticed yet. More news as
it develops. But now, I'm off to the beach to enjoy the perfect
weather......Jake
Monday, April 3, 2006:
Still
here at Hedo. Thanks for all the well wishes, and the curses! The weather is
still absolutely perfect. Occupancy seems low, but it is only Monday morning,
maybe we had a surge of late Sunday arrivals that will manifest themselves
later today. [Editors note: they didnt]
Speaking of Charlie, he now has a sign hanging over his egg station that says
"Charlies House" (no apostrophe).
Other news: they have measured drink pouring spouts on most of the liquor
bottles now! Most of the bartenders use them, so shots are smaller. Of course,
you can always get two. Delroy and Scumba refuse
to use them, and just pop them off as if they are caps on the bottles.
There is a third computer in the computer room now, which really cuts down on
the waiting time. In fact, I am using the third computer right now.
I forgot to mention yesterday: at check-in, they wanted a credit card on file,
for "incidentals"! In 19 trips, I've never seen that before.
Somebody a few weeks ago asked if the bartenders had new uniforms. Nope, they
still have the yellow and black dolphin shirts. Except for the few who wear
crisp white tops, like Paulette and a few others.
Well, gotta go. The sun is shining and I can hear
the splashing of water and the laughter of frolicking guests from the pool.
Makes it hard to sit in this computer room. Until next time......Jake
Tuesday, April 4, 2006:
The weather is still perfect here. Just a few light fluffy clouds, that give
you a moment of cool refreshment before another mini-sunrise, several times
per day. Not a single drop of rain to be seen.
Definitely a light crowd this week. If I had to guess, I'd say this place is
about one third full. Enough for some energy, but no long lines anywhere.
I can live with this!
They have been playing weird music at Delroy's. It
must be "70s week." I've heard YMCA and I Will Survive several
times, and other similar stuff. No dirty songs all week long. I
wonder if somebody complained about the pussy and stroking songs recently?
I'm at that point in the week where I see people, and don't remember if I've
met them, or just seen them many times. So I find it prudent to say hello to
them all, just to avoid looking like a jerk! Maybe that's why Hedo people seem
so friendly all the time.
The "Tease 'Um" girls are here for a photo shoot all week. Surprisingly, they
are very friendly, and many of them even come to the nude beach and actually
get naked after the shoot! I feel like I should endorse this company,
merely because of the respectfulness of their models, photographers, and crew.
Well, I'm getting the "five minute warning" from the computer, so I better
wrap things up. More news later, gang......Jake
Wednesday, April 5, 2006:
Hi
Gang -
Still alive. The raft situation is NOT good. The pile of abandoned blow-up
rafts is in the seven or eight range. On the other hand, there aren't that
many people fighting for them. I don't know about the
Hobie cats or bananas.
The only premium vodka I've seen this week is Absolut.
I've been in a gin mood all week, and the Beefeater is serving me just fine.
And of course the coconut rum is available for the afternoons.
Danny in the Piano Bar is actually getting worse. During a crowded week, with
enough energy from the crowds, he is tolerable, but he just cannot function
with a tiny crowd like we have this week. Worst yet, it brings the execrable
ECs out of the woodwork. When Gay-Gay grabs the
mic, I leave. Can't stand that pinhead.
The weather is still fabulous, although we did have about fifteen minutes of
rain yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon. No problem, mon;
just an opportunity for a group hug around Delroy's.
Robert was off yesterday, and he was sorely missed. I asked the chick filling
in for a BLT. She asked if I wanted tomato on that. (roll-eyes) I said yes.
After half an hour, she finally delivered the sandwich: bacon and melted
cheese on raisin bread. No lettuce, no tomato. You know what? It was still
good! But I'm glad Robert is back today.
Today, a Treasure Hunt is happening on the beach. It has nothing to do with
the ECs. One of the guests had herself "kidnapped"
by pirates while her hubby was out scuba diving (she's really just hiding
out). He has to follow a series of clues to find her. I'll encourage her to
discuss it all in an upcoming trip report. He's still in the middle of the
search as I type, but it's a hoot for all of us watching it.
Okay, back to the beach for me. More later.... Your Humble Correspondent,
Jake, dateline Jamaica
Thursday, April 6, 2006:
Well,
I'm still at Hedo, and still alive. The weather continues to be wonderful, and
so is most else.
They've finally labeled the shower knobs! Or maybe I just finally noticed.
Little captions telling you which way to turn them for hot and cold, and
shower or jets. Helps a lot! Plenty of hot water, by the way, and NO issues
with temperature instabilities. Of course, we are in room 2105, so maybe it's
just because we are close to the source. I've heard there are more issues at
the far end of the room block.
The entire bank of "tennis court" rooms appears to be empty. Makes sense; if
occupancy is down, shut down a big block and send part of your housekeeping
staff home.
The Tease'um models are still here, and I have to
give them credit for continuing to be unobtrusive. Today during breakfast,
they were shooting pictures on the main bar. Yes, I said *ON* the main bar,
with one young lady squirming around on top of it in five-inch Lucite heels
and a couple inches of red yarn. Of course the bar wasn't open yet, so it
wasn't a problem at all, and made for some nice scenery to go with Charlie's
eggs.
I skipped the repeater's party (again), but heard that the winner of the free
nights had 20 trips under their belt. Glad I didn't waste my time; I'm
sitting at 19 trips. Maybe next time!
Danny the piano player continues to disappoint. Last night I was delighting
the crowd with my famous rendition of "Those Were The Days" and he tried to
rush me into following the standard tempo. Hello??? I dont THINK
so!!! I like to draaaaaag out the chorus, but he
apparently likes to do it by the book. I needed to give him a stern look and
a harsh "Don't rush me, Danny!" to slow him down. But he came around.
What else can I tell you? Ah, yes; they installed a nice
grippy black rubber floor mat in the nude hot tub men's room. The day
before this, there were reports of BLOOD on the floor; apparently somebody
took a little tumble. The next day, nice safe padded non-skid mat. I hope it
lasts.
That's enough news for today I suppose. Time for me to go back and experience
that cornucopia of sensations: warm sun on the shoulders; crunching sand under
the feet; tingling waves and giggles sounding in the background; cold slushy
drinks oozing down the throat; cool caribbean
colors all around.... well, you get the idea. Not that I'm trying to give
anyone DIF or anything.
More news as it develops... Chicago Jake, over and out for today
Friday, April 7, 2006:
I'm
still at Hedo, but this will probably be my last report from "the Front" so we
will need a new correspondent for next week. Mugsey,
are you up for it?
Anyway, last night was of course Toga/Talent night. One of our gang was in the
show, but fortunately she was first up so we didn't have to stick around for
long and suffer through endless minutes of talentless
pinheads. Our friend belted out a great rendition of "Hey Big Spender"
followed by a soul-ripping version of "Son Of A Preacher Man". We were all
very proud of her.
I finally tested out my new cell phone yesterday, and it worked just fine. It
is a Motorola RAZR with T-Mobile service. If you want to do the same, you just
have to alert them to add international calling (no extra charge) to your
plan. HOWEVER.... another guest here has the identical phone, but with
Cingular service. He was told his would work, but
it didn't. He couldn't get a signal at all. Like all things Jamaican, you just
never know.
Speaking of cell phones, I've seen a lot of people talking on them this week,
but nobody yelling into them. Maybe the service is getting better so that
people can talk in normal tones. Whatever the reason, they were not as
annoying as they used to be. And yes, mine never left my room.
There didn't seem to be many PDAs this week. At
least, not many interesting ones. Maybe I'm just getting old and jaded, and
seeing a MFFMF daisy chain on the pool deck barely registers anymore.
Our SCUBA diving friends have been diving every day, and every day they return
with a new horror story of bad equipment, bad dive-mastering, and terrible
safety violations! I'm glad that diving is not one of my vices. Anyway, they
promised to post a full report on the horrors under the sea when they return.
Watch this space.
Its my last full day, so it's time for me to go savor it! Delroy jiving
behind the bar, Scumba trying to mix my Coconut
Rum and Pineapple Juice in under two seconds, Paulette rolling her eyes at all
the depravity, Agustus raking furiously, the
pelicans swooping down into the water, the parasails
hanging nearly motionless in the sky, the sailboats slowly gliding across the
field of view, the Blue Taxi psssssting at you,
and all the other little tidbits that we all know and love. Until next
time.......Chicago Jake
Saturday, April 8, 2006:
I'm
down to my final few minutes here at Hedo, and how do I waste them? Here on
the internet!! I must be a geek. Anyway, yesterday was another "increduble"
day of perfect weather, fun, and frivolity. One of the
Tease'um models even joined us for our traditional four o'clock shots
(what is it about models that make husbands turn into blithering idiots in
front of their wives?).
Oh well, it's all good. I've got some more goodbye hugs to administer before
walking that Green Mile myself. See you all on the other side!
Over and Out from Paradise......Jake
Sunday, April 9, 2006:
I'm
back in Chicago after a full day of travel. Here are a few final factoids from
the trip:
1) Weight Limit: While at the airport, I noticed a sign at the Air Jamaica
counter: Two checked bags allowed, 50 pound limit. Between 50 and 70 pounds,
there was a $25 surcharge. They didn't mention what happens OVER 70 pounds.
And I have no idea if they enforce it. Maybe others can add more data.
2) As perfect as Air Jamaica was at getting us TO Jamaica, they did their
usually dreadful job of getting us OUT of Jamaica. Our flight was delayed by
three hours. Three hours that could have been much better spent at the beach.
Oh well, such is life.
3) Free Drinks at the Airport! While at Margaritaville
at Sangster, we noticed some nVERY fine print on
the placemat. They offer free shots of a drink called a "Jamaica Farewell" if
you ask for it. Nota Bene:
You have to ASK for it!! It's just a little pink shot in a Nyquil cup, but
hey, it's free! Make sure you get one on your next trip.
4) Grand Gala Buffet: It was again wonderful on Friday night, even without the
benefit of lobster. I found myself wishing I had seven stomachs, like ALF. The
sushi bar alone was worth the price of admission, even though there was no
sashimi.
5) Major Surprise: I always assumed that Superclubs
had sub-par record keeping. So that whenever I go to the repeater's party
(which is rare), I wonder how they could possibly verify how many trips you've
been on. Myself, I've been on 19 trips (counting this one) reaching back to
1992 (my record keeping is flawless, being a geek). So, at checkout, I asked
if the nice lady could tell me how many trips I have been on to Hedo. It took
her a few minutes, but she came up with the correct answer of 19. I was
totally shocked, and delighted.
Okay, now you know everything that I know! (well, except for those things that
must perforce "stay at Hedo") Thanks to all of my fellow "April Fools"
travelers for making the trip so wonderful, thanks to you all for reading this
little self-indulgent travelogue, and especially thanks to my wonderful
Hazelita for enduring my traveling without her.
Until next time.......Jake
Respect to all... Chicago Jake (
jcesarone@ripco.com )