Shikkapows Trip Report
I am going to try and keep this as short as possible but considering we had a group consisting of 13 close friends on a 8 day (12-20 Nov) trip, there are a lot of details I dont want to forget. Plus its a rookie trip report, so I need to write it all down for prosperity.
Wow we started out Friday morning bright and early, well not so bright, it was 330 am when we woke up, and made our way to the airport in the damp drizzly pre dawn November gloom that is Tidewater VA. Had a very ominous glitch at the airport because Greg had the wrong birth certificate, and couldnt make it onto the plane. Luckily he was born in VA and drove to Richmond and caught up with us on day 2.
The plane ride was uneventful, but Jamaican customs was a bit of an eye opener. I read all the trip reports about being delayed, and thought to myself, how bad can it be its only a one-hour delay? Once you are on the ground you hear the Jamaican singers, feel the tropical humidity, and see the sunshine and palm trees outside, even 5 minutes is intolerable.
The bus ride was a little crazy only in the sense that there were so many people packed along the route, that I couldnt believe that we didnt hit any pedestrians. I leaned over to Dee and reminded her that we were probably going to be nekkid within the hour. With all the delays (we were supposed to arrive the same day Ivan the Terrible visited) the long flight, packing and unpacking, I couldnt believe we were about to actually do this.
We arrived at the resort and checked in. We did the musical chairs room swap and Dee and I got #2222, I couldnt have been happier. We looked right over the nude volleyball court. One of the other couples got #2280 and Carolyn was a bit surprised when she opened the curtains. J
One other couple, Kevin and Beth, (2 of the 3 Hedo veterans of the group) got the room below us. Her key was messed up and couldnt get into her room to change. Standing above her on the balcony were three Hedo virgins asking why she needed to go into the room to change. Well, actually there were three naked Hedo virgins asking why she had to change. I had stripped off my clothes before I could chicken out and Dee quickly followed suit. Dvo was up on the balcony with us, and he didnt want to feel left out, so we were at the resort for a total of about thirty minutes and 3 of the ten virgins were already feeling the warm Jamaican breezes the way they were meant to be felt.
Kevin was at the airport waiting for a few stragglers to show up on a slightly later flight. He was showing a few more of the virgins around the resort while looking for the rest of us. He looked everywhere except for the nude beach by the grill, where was a group of naked virgins happily dining on Roberts famous grilled cheese sandwiches. It was the last place he figured we would be. There was still a lifestyles group there (the resort was packed on Friday night and the numbers fell through out the rest of the weekend) and as Warren came over to join us he was immediately hassled by security that he couldnt be on the beach with his clothes on, so after a few seconds of hesitation, he was there with us at the picnic bench (this was the only time that I saw security doing anything about clothed people on the beach). We went back to the rooms, unpacked and met everyone for dinner.
Dvo, Warren and I went to the hot tub later on that night (11-ish?) and there were more naked people per square inch than I have ever seen before in my life, the tub was packed. I was trying to talk with Dvo, but there was a couple right next to me that was causing one hell of a distraction. I got out and left shortly there after, sensory overload I guess, I dont remember too much else about that night.
Woke up at 730 for some odd reason got breakfast and went somewhere on the resort and burned off about 3 hours doing God only knows what. My memory is really screwed up trying to figure out day today activities while I was there. By Sunday afternoon it felt like we had been at the resort for over a week. Do the clocks run really slow in Hedo?
Dee had brought a Pink 4-foot inflatable toy that the dive shop happily inflated for us (I really didnt want any pictures of me giving a BJ to a smiling four foot penis, there are enough blackmail pictures of me from the last Friday night we were there) She and Beth took it to the pool and I caught up with them later on. Eventually John, Carolyn, Dee, Beth, Warren and I were all out in the water with Pinky tied off to Beths 6-foot diameter raft. We christened the raft the U.S.S. Peen. I dont remember the details but I have never laughed so hard for so long in my entire life. The only memory that will stick with me is that Carolyn made the mistake of asking me to hold her cup after she finished her drink.. It made for a great shady place to keep my Wheelie from getting burnt, but for some reason she was upset that I was molesting her cup. I think she asked Delroy to soak it in bleach before her next refill. We all had such a good time acting like fools that when I woke up the next morning I couldnt figure out why my head and stomach were so sore. I didnt do anything strenuous, it took me a while to understand what had happened, but I figured it out the first time I laughed. Laughing in Hedo is a great abs workout. I also finally met HedoDave. We had heard a lot about him through Kevins e-mails. He spent a few hours with us out in the water just chillin and he was telling stories about Hedo past. This was also the day we were introduced to the couple everyone is calling Captain & Tenniel. It was like watching a live rendition of Old McDonald had a farm.... With a Boom Boom here, and a Boom Boom there, here a Boom, there a Boom, everywhere they Boom-Boomed. Oh well to each their own. The best was when a guy everyone called big Tony gave us a blow by blow when they were on the pool deck. He had the best angle from the elevated pool and pantomimed all the action so that us in the hot tub knew what was going on.
Ray-Ray (or is it Rae-Rae?) took us on a naked waterslide adventure on Saturday. This was my first introduction to the ECs and the enormous amount of praise they get on Denny Ps is not even close to what they deserve. They are the hardest working, and the most talented group of people at the resort. Ray-ray, Winston, Alicia, Koro, Dee, Foxy, Ricardo and all the rest helped make this vacation the best vacation I have ever had. Chanting away, we invaded the waterslide, and had a great time watching the eye-popping stares from the people in the main pool. Look at you, Look at you. Look at F%&$ing YOU!!
We went to the Scotch Bonnet for dinner Saturday night and afterwards we went to the Piano bar. Luckily we were the first one in the bar and our group filled the entire arch behind the piano player. We had a blast laughing and singing along with the Piano player (who doesnt get the respect on the message boards I think he deserves) and the audience karaoke singers. Augustus sang his Big-Bamboo rendition. Whoever thought that a bartender at a piano bar should have a good voice made the right call. Winston came on stage and surprised everyone when 220-pounds of voice came out of his 120-pound frame. (Did I mention that the ECs were talented?)
But the biggest entertainment came about 5 minutes after Kevin mentioned to me that soon one of the women in the bar would be on the piano doing the Piece-by-Piece tease. Lo and behold Dee volunteered when the piano man asked for a volunteerpoor woman didnt have a clue. A 24-hour old Hedo virgin, wearing two pieces of clothing, was soon dancing naked on a piano in Jamaica. Shes the best!! I kept teasing her that she wasnt really naked, because she was still wearing her key on her ankle.
I was trying to do this on a day-by-day basis, but everything is so blended together that chronological order is out of the question. I will just ramble on and put stories together as I remember them.
Ten of us went on the snorkeling and cliff-jumping cruise (Tuesday?) and had a great time snorkeling and watching Rasta Ralph on the boat. When we got to the cliffs it was rather amusing to watch the small crowd up on the cliffs turn into a flood of people whenGASPa boatload of naked people showed up!! The women waved and the men shook to the delight and horror to some up on the cliffs. To our amazement only the Va. Beach crew could muster up people to jump off the cliffs, no one else wanted to go. Swimming into the cave made me a little nervous, but we got in with out a hitch, well most of us did. One of Dvos brand new shiny nipple rings was almost left as a souvenir when he got pushed up against the rocks. I will admit that looking up at the cliffs from the water, to looking down on the water from the cliffs, are two totally and amazingly different perspectives. Its not THAT tall, to holy crap thats a helluva long drop I was the second to jump, and I went so fast that no one was able to take a picture of me, I either went NOW or I would have taken the sissy way down via the steps. It wasnt too bad, just a little sting on the feet. We went a few times and only had to coax two people to go, but all those that went up the steps made it off the cliffs the fun way.
We were heading back on what we thought was going to be a non eventful trip back to the resort when John and Dee spotted a boat flagging us down in the distance. The Captain pulled alongside the disabled dive boat and we learned that they were missing 3 divers. We spotted them fairly quickly and the relief on their faces very quickly turned in to disbelief, and then to utter giddiness. Someone mentioned that the divers must have thought they died and gone to heaven to be rescued by a boat full of beautiful naked women. You would have thought that they had never seen such a sight before. Naked people.on a boat? Thats a story they will probably be telling their grandchildren.
Tuesday was PJ night and I had the first hand pleasure of wearing my first thong. I dont think I will ever be doing that again anytime soon.. Wow what an uncomfortable feeling. However, Dvo looked very very comfortable on stage during the talent show with his neon pink thong, an 8 inch purple dildo and a tube of KY in hand, but I dont think I want to go into details about that. He has blackmail pictures of me so I really cant be pressed for too many details.
Chris Santillis Naked Truth Tour was at Hedo when we were there, and we had the pleasure of meeting her, she is a wonderful person and I am glad I got the chance. Beth and Dee won first prize in Chris frozen t-shirt contest. Too bad I missed that one. I heard that Beth scared a few of the guys the way she was banging the frozen t-shirt on the table.
Before we went to Hedo, Kevin was halfway certifiable and he finished his PADI course in Hedo and we went on his first open water dive. He is now a proud fully certifiable Hedo dive vet. It had been years since I went diving and I remembered how much I missed the experience. The dive crew was just like everyone else at Hedo, helpful, knowledgeable and ready to please. Ritchie is a fantastic Dive Master and I was very glad to have his experience with us in the water.
Our group played a lot of volleyball on the prude side and thats where we met one of the couples that will make Hedo a great memory. Patti and Darryl are Hedo veterans and they are some of the nicest and personable people we met while down there. They really helped out letting us know what was going on, where to go what to see etc. They helped make this the trip of a lifetime. They left on Thursday (or Wednesday?) and it was sad to see them leave. They did leave us a bag full of pool balls and I have to tell Darryl that the entire hot tub and nude pool had fun playing with your balls.
Toga night was a blast! John and Carolyn won best couple toga, but from what they were wearing you really couldnt call them togas the pervs were walking around almost naked.. What a concept.
Dee and I went up on stage but we didnt win anything, I guess its because my cock was hanging out the bottom of my toga (way below my knees). Beth had a great time leading me around by it when we went on a room raiding expedition to collect all the wayward souls that went to bed early. It even got a great workout in the hot tub over by the main pool once we collected everybody. It got squeezed, stretched, tossed around and pet by almost everyone there. Who ever thought that a rubber chicken on a string would have so much fun in a hot tub?
Friday was our last full day there so Dee and I spent the entire day in the nude pool. Someone brought a beach ball and we played nude pool volleyball. The only rule was that if you were the person who dropped the ball or hit it out of the pool you had to lie on the tables and all the other players punished you by smacking you in the ass. I think I hit it out a few times on purpose.
Somewhere along the lines Dee and I planned to take a trip to the school to drop off all the supplies we brought, but I learned that sand gravity is a naturally occurring event, and it is pointless to fight it. I did manage to go out on the shopping trip, but it was an epic battle of mythical proportions. I managed to drag my sorry ass off the beach to go shopping. It has been over a month and I still havent been charged for the credit card purchase I made. I guess it paid to get off the beach.
Friday night Chris Santilli sponsored a tramp and drag night and the 14th member of the VaBeach crew showed up. Joanne made her stunning appearance to all those who went to the piano bar and later to the grand buffet. Flame orange hair, a pink sundress, and horrible purple nail polish made for one hell of a beautiful woman. Well at least I thought so. I guess beer goggles work while looking in the mirror too. My favorite part of that night was that I, I mean Joanne, was wearing the pads out of one of Dees bras and they were constantly falling out. Women from all over would come over and tuck them back in doting on me and playing with my chest. As soon as they would leave, I would pop the bra back out and wait to be caressed and doted on all over again. Drag queens get all the chicks.
Greg wasnt too happy with Joanne lying across his lap, but it made for a pretty picture.
I wont speak of the 20th of November because the mere thought of leaving Hedo, just really bums me out. The first 3 days seemed to take forever, but time is a funny thing because the last 5 days flew by. The biggest lesson I learned was that wherever you are in Hedo, yes, you are missing something funny, something amazing, something you will never see again, or something you wish you could have been a part of. But on the other hand, all those amazing, funny, special moments are happening right in front of you, and all the other people are missing out on it.
Till next time!