DISCLAIMER: No offence is intended with any of my remarks. Its all in good fun!
At last, I finally get to write one of these things!
A bit of background: I first heard of Hedo 2 via a UK TV program and didnt think much more about it until one day I stumbled across Dennys website. Lurking and reading the posts and other info, I started thinking that I had to see this place for myself. At that stage I was visiting the US once a year on business and planned to spend a few days after I had finished work! Started planning in mid 2001 and then world events intervened and I was under a lot of pressure from family/friends/work not to travel. Again in 2002, same story (the Bali bombing) and finally in 2003 I didnt visit the States as the conference I normally attended was undergoing changes and going to be a very small one. Finally 2004 arrives, the conference is bigger again and no-body blew anything up. Plans were made, bookings were made and before I knew it I was on a Qantas flight out of Sydney headed for LA.
Thanks to Denny (whom we all know and love) and Annette at Go Classy (who filled in in Dennys absence) for rushing bookings through at the last minute. Whilst my visit was only going to be 3 nights (I had to be back in Oz by November 2) I was going to at last make it!
Now the next part of peoples trip reports seems to be flight details. Well, any of you Americans who think youve had a rough flight to Hedo, try this:- 90 minute flight to Sydney with Qantas (departing 7 am), 4 hours in Sydney, 14 hour non stop flight to LAX with Qantas (the worlds best airline), overnight LAX, depart LAX late evening for Miami with American (arriving 5 am) for a flight to Mobay again with American leaving mid morning (which didnt leave till mid afternoon cause the smell of fuel in the cabin). We had to change planes after boarding, taxiing and returning to the terminal. The bastards actually made us walk from Miamis A concourse to the D concourse. (Walking to Mobay would probably have been quicker).
Now, I did have this little irrational fear about this trip. My fear was that the place didnt exist and I had just paid $xxx (no price cause I believe we dont talk about prices here) to some con man (who had set up a phoney web site) for 3 nights accommodation at a place that didnt exist. After all I didnt know anyone who had ever been to Jamaica, let alone Hedo and I was paying money to someone I only knew from a web site!
Finally, after what seemed like years of plane travel I arrived at the Montego Bay airport. No problem at customs (well - Australia and Jamaica are fellow members of the Commonwealth) and only about 15 minutes in the queue. Next, baggage collection and then straight to the Superclubs Lounge (which youd have to be blind to miss). Irrational fear abating as it looks like the place really exists and they did have my name at the Superclubs counter.
A short wait and onto the bus for the trip to Hedo. Arrived in what was probably afternoon peak hour traffic, but apart from one detour around some roadworks at a housing estate a smooth trip at reasonable speed (90 min).
Arrival.Hey the place actually existsHey it looks great!
Speedy check in and quickly escorted to my room with a brief tour on the way.
Did a general walk around of the grounds and then decided to visit the nude end of the place. Never been to nude beaches but not uncomfortable with the idea either. In this case however, despite having read 275 trip reports and 3,167,121 postings on DennyPs, I didnt know what to expect.
I only spent from Friday pm to Monday am actually at H2. So rather than go through the details of each day I think I shall just give my impressions of several topics that I have often seen mentioned on DennyPs or that concerned me hopefully allaying any other newbies fears about visiting!
Accommodation: Having stayed everywhere from Bush Pubs in the Aussie Outback to 5 star hotels in New York and London, I think I have a good idea of what is around. My room was good (nude side garden but close to the main area). Everything worked, High standard for cleanliness, the bed (king double) was excellent. Lacked some of the features from a top end hotel room but they werent missed as I didnt plan on spending all my time there. TV worked fine (apart from tooooo much coverage of the US election and that Playboy Channel only worked sometimes). Showers hot (specially when u pressed the red button) and never ran out of water. A/C worked well. No complaints
Food: Again my food tastes are widely varied and experienced! Friday was a beach party and grand buffet on the main beach. Excellent from both a quality and selection point of view. Lobster was available. My other dinners were had in the main dining area where the buffet standard was also high (perhaps not the range of the beach party) but lobster was still to be found. I never was able to remember to book for either of the restaurants (or do it before 4:30pm) and couldnt be bothered trying to find a place later (eg 9:00pm) as people suggested I could do. Breakfast was a good buffet style breakfast. Anything from Roberts Grill was excellent he even had lobster available. No complaints.
Alcohol: Plentiful. Not always the best brands tho. For Cocktails and interesting mixed concoctionsgreat. They did have Johnny Walker Black, but no single malts. Wines not good but then I am spoilt as I live in Australias major wine producing state. Red Stripe ok for a beer but can anyone actually get drunk on it? A dozen or so glasses in 2 hours and all I needed was a visit to the mens room (several visits actually).
Tipping: Now as an Aussie, I am not used to tipping. So visiting a resort where tipping is not required I didnt. Just before I left home, there was a big debate going on at the H2 board about tipping so I made it a particular point to observe the behaviour of tippers and tippees. I never tipped at Delroys bar (or any other bar or food service). I was always friendly, smiled and had a happy word for the staff and I never felt let down or was not served. Their style is different to bartenders in a busy US or Aussie bar and maybe some people interpret this as not getting served properly but I always got my drink quickly, in a friendly manner and was usually served in order of appearance at the bar! Now at one stage I did see a BIG fat tip handed to a particular staff member for services provided (not giving any details of who or what) but I could not see that the tip made a scrap of difference. I saw others get the same thing just as fast without tipping. The large majority of people didnt tip. I also, surprisingly found that staff quickly remembered my name and likes/dislikes. Service (without tipping) excellent.
Staff: although mentioned above, excellent, helpful, fun, the resorts biggest asset. What more can I say.
Sex (observed): Hmmm, now who expected this topic to be top of the list? Spending a couple of days down around the nude pool, I saw things that I have only seen live in certain clubs in Amsterdam!!!! Some people made it damn hard to concentrate on what I was reading. Dammed inconsiderate if you ask me! Fascinating perspective sex as a spectator sport / performance art (and some couples gave excellent performances). Note to potential voyeurs: Dont try to join in, dont drool and for gods sake dont try to go solo either just enjoy the fun of the event and things will be fine! Try to join in and youll just make a ****** of yourself. For those who are interested: lots of heterosexual stuff, a moderate amount of female/female action, no male only action. I mention the last one as an article that was discussed on the H2 board some time ago mentioned that there was a surprising amount of male/male interaction. I didnt see a hint of it at all (and nor did I get propositioned).
Sex (ratio men:women): Most of the guests were couples. At the nude pool there were a few single guys (self included) and no obviously single girls. At one stage I did see a small group of single girls (4 I think) on the prude side! (By the time I had fought through the crowd they had gone.only joking!)
Sex (that I was involved in): None of your bloody business. Seriously None. Believe it or not I didnt go to H2 looking for sex (true believe me!). I am no movie star type so I dont get propositions just walking up to a bar and I would have probably died of shock and not known what to do if someone did proposition me during my short visit! For those that do want to get some, er, action, (and who are not movie stars and dont have 12 long appendages) make sure you stay longer than 3 days to allow you to make friends and be relaxed about it and it would appear to me that all things are possible. Note I said possible not guaranteed.
Meeting People: Everyone was generally friendly and spoke to plenty of people, although nothing became a deep and meaningful conversation or lead to anything, er, intimate. Funny thing was (and it happened on a couple of occasions) the reaction of men who approached me to ask something. I would be lying on a chair by the nude pool, quietly reading my book and doing my best not to be interrupted by performing couples in the pool (ha, ha, ha). On several occasions men (even ones there with their wives) were hesitant about asking me something (eg about my book). They would apologise and explain that I didnt have to worry, as they werent trying to pick me up. Not really important, just something that struck me as unusual.
Drugs: (of the non-prescription variety) This was a worry to me as I am not a fan of recreational drugs of any kind and if you read some of the Hedo stories the place is floating on Wacky Weed. Well I can put supporters of both sides at ease! I was not at any stage approached or harassed to buy non- pharmaceutical products. I did see the Blue Taxi off the beach and late at night there were a couple of guys just sitting off the jetty on surf skis (in the water). I didnt ask, but I dont think they were there for the view. Saw some people smoking Wacky Weed at the pool but didnt get a lung full (this applied to conventional stuff too). Only time it was an issue was with someone smoking it in the hot tub at 4am and the combination of the smoke and the strong chlorine odour was foul! So my summary is; its there if you want it but not if you dont!
The Piano Bar: Can you believe this. In an example of the ultimate stupidity (and this was really bad considering I had been following all the posts about Dave) I completely forgot to visit the Piano Bar! No, you dont need to say anything. I feel dumb enough myself!
The Disco: Didnt like the music, didnt like the smoke, but as Discos go it was a Disco. (From this you will gather that I dont like discos!).
Hurricane: The resort was in pretty good condition considering. It seemed that there should have been more shade around (eg the big tree by the Nude Pool) but cant blame anyone for the weather!
Overall: A vacation at H2 Fantastic. I love the all inclusive idea (means you can relax without worrying about add on costs, room charges etc. I think the rate I payed was good value for what I received. I would have to agree with the comments made to people travelling solo about joining one of the groups that go (eg WWW) as that would make mixing easier and things even more fun. If you go expecting to be involved in wild sex orgies forget it. If you go expecting to relax and have fun many things may happen.
Final piece of advice: Dont forget the bloody Piano Bar and Catamaran Cruises! Ill blame it on the jet lag!
Enjoy Hedo folks!
(or Ozmale on the boards)