Weve been shamed into writing
a trip report about our 2nd trip to Paradise, otherwise known as
Hedo II. I had the best intentions of keeping a journal of our days, but,
since laziness overcame me during the week, Im winging it. Some names have
been changed to protect the innocent (or guilty, as the case may be),
especially since they were supposed to be somewhere else for their vacation.
Unlike last year, we made a
greater effort to get to know more people that would be there the same week
that we would. We emailed, we joined the Hedo in June Yahoo group that Abe and
Dolly set up (thanks guys!) and we roved the Denny P message boards daily.
(OK, several times a day) We were so excited not to be first-timers this year
that we wanted to make a concerted effort to get to know more people and get
more involved. Heck, we might even play some of the organized games!
We arrived at the Atlanta
airport at 4:40 am to catch our 7 am flight. Thinking we would be there ahead
of the rush, we were surprised to find the line snaked back several rows.
Note to self: Get to the airport 15 minutes earlier of when you think you
should be there. Our flight left on time and my champagne tasted great.
Once in Mo Bay, we headed to
the SuperClubs room (yes, I said room) at the airport. Its brightly lit, has
nice, comfee chairs, air conditioning and they bring you anything you want to
drink while you wait. Its a great improvement. We played Guess Which Resort
Theyre Going To with the people sitting around the room. (Hey, it passed the
time) The game was made easier after they put the tags that showed where you
were going on the luggage. After about 15 minutes, I really started to worry
because the Breezes folks left, then the Hedo III folks left, leaving us and a
bunch of OBVIOUSLY Grand Lido folks. Will there be a bus big enough for all of
us? Will we be here all day? But then, the SuperClubs people motioned for us
to go. I had to will myself to not skip as we headed to the bus. Yippee, we
were going HOME!
Since it was early in the
morning--about 9:30--there was no one else on the bus but Tony, one of the
Hedo staff members whom wed met last year, and us. On the way, we talked to
Tony about Jamaica, his family, Hedo, etc. Finally, we pulled up to Hedo.
As we figured, our room was
not ready. No problem! We romped off to the nude pool and we were naked in
minutes. We grabbed some lawn chairs, some dirty bananas and killed some time.
We saw Jesse and Debbie, friends wed met last year. Hugs, hugs, kiss, kiss
and it was time to head up to check in again and grab some lunch. Still no
rooms yet, but we found more friends from last year who had just arrived.
After lunch, and several drinks, our room was ready. Doh! We werent in H
block. Double doh!! The room was directly across from the spa. I guess well
have to wear clothes on the way to the pool all week. We head back down to the
pool. Met new people, hung out, had more drinks and tried to get out of travel
mode into Hedo mode. When nature called, I headed off to the restroom only to
discover that the ladies room was now on the other side. And its new.
But, be warned, thats where the big mosquitoes hang out. Note to self:
Dont forget the Deep Woods Off next year. When it was dusk, we headed to
our room to get ready for dinner. A couple of flushes later, and we had an
overflowed toilet. After placing a call at the front desk about the toilet and
also the cold water in the shower, we waited a while for a response. None
came. We decided that we werent going to spend our vacation waiting for
someone, so off to dinner we went.
Dinner in the main dining room
was very good. They had a made-to-order pasta station and lots of hot and cold
options at the other stations. It was better than I remembered last year. Wed
tried to make reservations at Pastafaris when we arrived, but it was closed
that night, as it was the Ultimate Men of Hedo contest was going on. There we
were, captive, in the dining room, watching a show that was frankly, only
slightly more erotic than watching the art auction. We left and went to play
pool. Very fun!
Eventually, we made our way
back to our room, just in time to see the people below us removing soggy items
from their room and small ponds of water outside their door. There room had
really flooded and they were being moved. We flagged down the maintenance tech
and told them we had a similar problem, although not as large, as the other
couple. He promised to come right up and he did. This gentleman (I think it
was Litton, but Im not sure---reason # 692 why Im doing a journal next year)
was so helpful. He made calls, stayed with us and by 12:30 am, we were moving
to another room. A room in H block!!!! Note to self: If you dont like your
current room, plumbing issues are the way to go. (kidding) The room had
been so newly renovated that you could smell the wet paint and the final
touch-ups had not been done yet. The headboard paint was still tacky. By this
time, wed been up for 22 hours, so as long as the toilet flushed and the bed
was soft, I did not care. We later discovered that most of the gang was
somewhere above or beside us. Thank goodness for overflowing toilets.
On our first full day, Dewey
and I hit the gym. Hedo II has good gym facilities, although the machines are
placed a bit close together. Most of the machines are newer than the ones at
our gym at home and are well maintained. Either that, or seldom used. I
wonder.
After an uneventful breakfast
and we headed out to the beach. That was the pattern for our days: beach in
the morning, pool in the afternoon, hot tub in the evening. We met even more
people, played some games, won some Hedo bucks and sweated our asses off.
Note to self: Its hotter in Jamaica than you will remember it is.
We plopped down next to our
friends Samson and Delilah and met Rachel, a great lady from California who
was on her virgin trip to Hedo. At some point during the week, we all
commented on how gutsy she is to come by herself and jump into Hedo with both
feet. S & D were nice enough to make reservations at Pastafaris for a big ole
group of us and we scheduled an impromptu theme night--schoolgirl night.
Needless to say, we met even more cool new friends, including Biff and
Blondie, had good food and got admonished by the restaurant staff (Delilah,
what are you doing under that table?). We played a very interesting game of
pool, headed down to the hot tub, then to the piano bar, then to the
disco--where we tried out the pole and back to our room. Wow, an early dinner
leaves a lot of time to party.
On Monday, we followed the
same morning/afternoon pattern and then it was time for the Wet T Shirt
contest. Blondie, Debbie and Angela in the contest and it was really fun to
see everybody strut their stuff. I placed 3rd and Blondie and
Angela won 2nd and 1st. Woohoo! My first bottle of rum!
Wed told our staff at home that we would check email daily if they had
pressing issues that they needed us to address. We bought 15 minutes of
internet time at the front desk and were able to check it each morning.
That afternoon, we had our own
contest--the Underwater Muffdiving Championships! Energizer and Bunny and came
prepared (they were boy and girl scouts in school) with Underwater Muffdiving
T shirts with a personally designed logo for those that placed. We went back
to our room to nap, and I discovered something. As stupid as I thought some of
the shows were on Fox, I now know that the Playboy Channel has them beat. Geez,
I could barely watch. We took a trip to the prude side to ride the waterslide,
and I met Brad and Heather, who we had emailed back and forth with before our
trip. Its so nice to put faces with the names.
I had never taken any of the
exercise classes offered at Hedo before and because my friend Debbie was
teaching the class, I thought it was the perfect time to learn a little about
Pilates. I must say that Hedo II has a pretty impressive variety of exercise
activities throughout the day and I thoroughly enjoyed Debbies class. To find
out which classes are available, a schedule is right outside the gym door.
Ill definitely remember to look at the beginning of the week next year.
That night Angela and Matt
invited us to Musauna. It was good, but its Japanese with a Jamaica flair.
After that, we headed to the piano bar again and had a pretty good time. Later
that night, we had our first Hedo In June Special Olympics moment.
On Tuesday, we went
snorkeling. It was my first time and boy was it fun! Later, I accompanied
Biff, Blondie, Energizer and Bunny to Sandals to take their vacation photos.
It was my first time leaving Hedo in two trips. Sandals grounds are really
lovely, but its sooo quiet. After dinner, it was time for the PJ party. Dewey
and I took second place in some category (we couldnt hear the category title)
and won our second bottle of rum. Yippee!
We had a lazy Wednesday
morning at the beach. Dewey got out on a float, while I finished a book and
killed the ants that dropped down from the tree and landed on me. That
afternoon, after doing lots of blowjobs (get your minds out of the gutterits
a drink), we watched as couple of couples put on a real show by the pool. Boy,
its only 2 oclock. At 4, us girls headed off to the gym for Exotic Dance
class. The guys were in tow, armed with drinks and cameras. That afternoon, I
gained a new appreciation for the ladies who work in the exotic dance
industry. It takes a lot of effort to get up and down on the floor gracefully.
The guys took pictures and taped dollar bills to the windows.
E & B had their anniversary
celebration at dinner that night. The table was decorated nicely and there
were bottles of bubbly. After dinner, we sauntered off to the piano bar. There
were lots of singers and everyone was in good spirits. We talked to a couple
that had recently been to Desire and asked about their impressions of the new
resort. Then, someone, (thanks Bunny!) thought it would be great if we sang
Summer Lovin. Ive never been heckled at a karaoke bar. People ran from the
room covering their ears. If you were there, I apologize. We ran from the bar,
fearing that people were going to throw things! Note to self: Never agree
to sing a song you barely know with a bunch of drunk people.
We made our way to the hot
tub. Things were just starting to get interesting and low and behold, Biff was
tapped on the shoulder and we were stopped by THE SEX POLICE (I thought they
were an urban legend) and told to take it to the room. It was nearly midnight!
It figuresthats what our evening has been like. So, we decide to go out on
one of the floating platforms. We had a great time, until a couple of Vinnies
decided we wouldnt mind if they waded up to the platform. Do you see a
pattern forming? After we laughed for about 20 minutes, we decide to take the
party elsewhere. As we were heading back through the pool area, we saw the
same two Vinnies had found someone else to play with. Hey, wheres the Sex
Police when you need them?
Its really late and were on
a mission for food. We go to the main dining area and theres nothing but
boiling water and no place to get a drink (as if we needed any by this point).
Then, we head to the disco. The music is still playing, but the place is
deserted. Energizer decides to try upside down pole sliding, which spawns a
whole discussion of good naked vs. bad naked. (That was bad naked E!) Still no
drinks and no eats. Note to self: Stock up on snacks at the sundry shop to
cure late night hunger. Finally, we decide to call it a night. It was 3:30
am.
Thursday was my birthday. We
went waterskiing in the morning. (Actually, the girls knee boarded and the
guys attempted waterskiing.) We went on the booze cruise to Ricks Caf in the
afternoon. Im not really sure why it was called a booze cruise though,
because there was only beer and rum. We had some appetizers at Ricks, watched
the divers and had a good time sitting and talking. It was really odd to be
somewhere where other tourists from other resorts were. They had on lots of
clothes and there were children. Its funny how quickly you get used to the
Hedo environment.
That night, we had a toga
tying party. Dew took some napkins from the dining room and we fashioned some
great togas with them. My sweetie had planned a birthday celebration with the
decorated table, champagne and the works. I entered the Sexiest Woman contest
that night and won! Cool, more rum! After that, the disco was lots of fun. Ah,
yes, and there was another SO moment.
Friday. Depression has set in.
We saw Mike and Jane, who wed met during the week. They were going home that
day. Oh no, the leaving has started! We had our couples massage which was
FABULOUS. We had to tear ourselves away to go to the Exotic Dance class that
afternoon. We had an uneventful dinner and decided to head to the TV roomor
the Playroom as its now called. It looks like every VIP room at a gentlemans
club. The room is dark, and (thank God!) air conditioned. We headed to the hot
tub, and were surrounded by people we didnt know. Its next weeks group. Oh,
the agony of it! We packed that night and got about 1 hour of sleep. Our bags
had to be out by 5 am and we had to be on the bus at 6 am to catch our 9 am
flight. Note to self: Never, ever, ever book that early of a return flight.
Energizer and Bunny saw us off at the front desk. We hugged, said goodbye, and hopped on the empty bus back to Mo Bay. Once there, we waited in the mother of all airport lines. I had on my newly purchased Hedo T shirt. We overheard two ladies in front of us talking. They were talking about Hedo and how the bartenders wouldnt serve you at the resort unless you took off your clothes and what an awful place it was. Dew and I looked at each other and just laughed. Only 349 days until we get to return to that AWFUL place!