This trip was the weirdest ever!
Youve all been reading already about the food and the staff, and the grounds. We agree with what the Baron said a while back. Its frightening to post anything on Dennys sometimes for fear of retribution and flaming. But here is a different kind of trip report. Hedo is all about the people. Thats what we keep reading on the board, and in our past 5 trips its true. Well, heres our take on the people this trip. It was our 6th trip, and this was the first time weve felt badly about the trip and some of the people. We met some MARVELOUS people too. I have to say, the majority of the people were nice and friendly and warm and supportive. But it takes a few..... to make it a weird trip.
The trip to Hedo this year was much anticipated, but also dreaded. There were dynamics in the group we went with that were reminiscent of high school. Before the trip, people were acting and saying things just to be mean. People were flaming, being petty, in competition. Its hard to explain, but when a friend of mine who goes to Hedo heard about all this, she couldnt believe it. I went to high school MANY moons ago (I have a child who has already been there, done that) and I did not relish the idea to revisit that era. Also, my sig other and I were having difficulties that I saw as beyond repair. And we decided his wish to be truly Lifestylers was going to happen. I was ready. I had no feelings for him. Adding to my feelings of dread for the trip, is that in past years, we have always felt, well, if something happens for some reason, or the trip takes a bad turn, or whatever, we always have each other! This year I was more apprehensive because we did NOT have each other, and because we were going as singles to have sexual fun with who ever we wanted, and not necessarily together.
That brings us to the group we were going with and our feelings and history with that. Most of the people in the group were Lifestyles people. We were first introduced to this way of thinking 2 years ago at Hedo when we discovered in about July that we had booked with the Lifestylers. We joined a group of people and began to think about and explore what that all meant. I was not interested. Period. I thought that when you love someone, that someone is enough for you. I felt that Swinging is just permission to sleep with other people because your partner is not enough. I opened my mind because my partner wanted to do this. I loved him very much, so I thought Id give it a try; but I could not imagine being with anyone else as I loved him too much.
Everyone knew we were newbies at this, and our second nite there we were invited to a party in our room. It was pretty innocent, as many of the people in the party were fairly new. Not as new as we were, as this was our FIRST time. My partner and I stayed together. Most of the other couples also stayed together except for a roving hand from time to time; a little falacio. It was fun, and we discovered we REALLY like to watch and be watched. That was it for that year as far as sharing. This is the year we made friends with a Lifestyle couple we became very close to as friends. We traveled to their town to visit several times, and they traveled to ours once. We felt an actual special kind of love for them.
The following year, we hooked up with a couple we really liked as people. The man and I were very attracted to one another. My sig other knows its the woman who decides mostly, and so he went along with it all as he still really wanted to join the Lifestyles way of life. The woman of their relationship did pretty much the same thing, as she was trying to give something to her husband he wanted. We went to our room and things were heating up. I already stated the rules and that I was not at this first time ready to have intercourse, but everything else was game. As things progressed, the woman got cold feet and stopped the action. Along the way at Hedo and other trips in between, we had a few more incidents, but they mostly involved us taking men back to our room and having oral sex with both him and my sig other; and all of us getting our pleasure that way. Still no intercourse as I was not ready to cross that line.
This last trip I planned to have sex with a few people I had hooked up with in our group. Since I was now single, I was just going to be wild and crazy and do what I wanted. BUT safely! Right away I saw that people were not having safe sex. This turned me off right away to having sex with certain people. One person even said to me well, I dont cum, so its ok. WHAT?? WOW! That scared me even more! We did bring a few men to the room as on the previous trips, but thats neither here nor there, except I was having intercourse with them, not just oral. And they were not in our group. Also, along with this, my partner decided to have a temper tantrum one day, and made a scene and brought others into our battle about all this. He had decided he couldnt handle all this Lifestyle stuff after all.
Now to the people and the high school stuff, and how they can taint the trip. People were cutting people down on the message board, and making snide remarks about each other for the 4 months before the trip. Chat was often about cutting down other members of the group that were not in the chat. People were just so mean to each other and especially to about 4 members. Funny, the ones they were the meanest to were probably the most honest ones didnt play games. The high schoolers were mean and relentless. The entire group was not this way in fact it was a handful of people, but the others were all silent, indicating to the bullies this behavior was ok, just like in High School.
This time SO many Lifestylers seemed to be out to see how many notches they could put in their bedpost. And people were playing each other long before we arrived (which is fine, but be honest about it). People were telling many couples (and singles) the same things; hedging their bets in case someone didnt work out. Still being actually new to this, we had one couple who wrote us a lot...flirted a lot.... told us they would be patient and help us through the whole thing. When they arrived, they didnt have any intention of being patient. They had just led us on in case some other couples didnt work out. We thought they had become friends of ours. We had even offered to lend them the money for a trip to a large city where we were going to meet because they had come by a hard time suddenly. But when the other couples panned out, they pretty much ignored us; the newbies. Now, if one couple who we thought were our friends, who knew of our situation had told them we might or were breaking up after the trip, and they decided not to be with us in those circumstances, 1) they should have talked to us about that and 2) our friends broke a confidence, so werent really our friends!
Before we left for Hedo, there was a person telling me she did not like another person in the group, and cutting her down. I said I am waiting until we get there and see. But she continued to say things. And thats ok for her to express her opinion, so I let her do that. Then when we get there, I find out she befriended this person all along in eMails. There was also a man she was not talking to because he was playing everyone, and she had no interest in him. She cut him down all the time. But in reality, she was calling him on the phone before she left!
One of the women came to me at Hedo and said she was nice to me in e-mail and I tried to help her as much as I can because she was having troubles in her life. I went way out of my way to communicate with her and now she wont even talk to me, and is calling me names. The woman complaining about this to me, told me in e-mail I was her favorite, she couldnt wait to meet me, etc, but when I wasnt bi and wild enough or whatever, she didnt have time to spend with me. She even opened up to me and told me lots of personal stuff before we went, which I NEVER shared with a soul still havent. Thats ok I say dont judge people over the net, but I finally pointed out she was doing what she accused the other woman of doing; befriending over the net, ignoring (maybe cutting down) the other person.
Our best friends we made two years before disappointed us also. They began giving us dirty looks and when we asked him why he said we dont like the things she was doing at the pool. Now wait a minute. They had just told us they were not going to let another couple judge them for what they were doing. Now they are judging me? When I confronted the woman a few days later (I couldnt take it anymore), she said, thats not it, we just didnt like the drama you and (partner) were having the other day (when he lost his temper while drunk), and we dont like the high school behavior of the group. Well, we had nothing to do with the high school behavior and we were hanging out with other people wed met and staying away from it. True friends would 1) not judge, especially when we have NEVER judged them in all this time. And 2) true friends would have said up front we dont want to deal with your problems right now. instead of ignoring us and giving us dirty looks. We have always communicated openly with them. They knew we were probably not remaining together after the trip, and she said they wouldnt have come on the trip if it were them; thus judging our right to come on a trip we had paid for in whatever capacity we wanted. Its their right not to spend time with us, but be honest about it; not mean. The topper was when they asked us to return something we had borrowed from them before they would pay the money they owed us. After being friends this long, they knew we would never keep their belongings. They were acting not even high schoolish, but childish!
Now that we are home, the people who while at Hedo said Im not coming back with this group and this is the worst vacation Ive ever had because of this group etc are writing that they had a marvelous time. Very Interesting.
Now, remember there are two sides to every story, and this is ours. We do not want or need a rebuttal in a public place. We did not mention names, dates, or anything incriminating. And will not get into a public fight. This is just our trip report as we see it. And as the Baron stated, its scary enough to be this honest, so no one is.
OH! Well, isnt it interesting. I just learned that the girl who talked bad to me about the girl before we went, but befriended her, and who told me she didnt want anything to do with the man, but called him; also told them both that I said bad things about them that I did not say!! Again, how High Schoolish! And how horrible, because I understand on two occasions she upset the guy so much with her lies about what I didnt say, he was looking for solace, so now others think I said those things when I did not. Why should this surprise me. Man, I hope they grow up before next year! I will NOT stay away because of them. And who knows, maybe the rest of us will stand up to them and not let them do this again.