This is a bit late, but hey, DIF (and life) got in the way!  I really do believe in trip reports - even if they are really late they serve a great purpose and it's our way of saying "thanks" to Denny for his great board that helps us in-between those trips! 

We went back to H II for our 4^th trip from 3/28 4/6.  For the first time, no delays at either JFK or MoBay.the bus was waiting for us and we were greeted at the desk immediately and were usher to the buss which left within minutes of our boarding.

Little did we know, the bus ride from hell was back!  We were in the minority as the majority were going to Grand Dido and being the party animals that they thought they were decided to stop twice for beer.  The first, we were only traveling about 15 minutes when the bus driver stopped, collected about $60 for a dozen beers and a soda for them and was gone for about 40 minutes while we were baked in the sun with no air conditioning.  Buy the time our driver came back my mood had completely changed from elation to a panic attach feeling like I couldnt even breathe.  45 minutes later he stopped again at some pretty sketchy place for more beer.   Someone had to go to the bath room and the driver escorted and waited for them at some little building in back of the shop where we stopped as the clientele didnt really look happy to see everyone.  Others left our bus and hopped on a different one that had happened to stop next to us.   We were being passed by every bus that came by. Frustrating!!   Two hours later we arrived at the resort.  Going to think twice next time before taking the bus again!  Once we arrived..we were home and it was all good.

It really was a nice time.  Verrrrrrrry quite.  Not full at all. Had to be under 50%.  Probably the quietest we have ever seen.  Then again our reference point was December with the WWW and the place was just a ghost of what it was.  Almost eerie at times.  The war had a definite impact on attendance and the staff said it had been that way for a while.

The pool had to be drained because some goof who left his prude wife
 on the prude side was schmoozing in the nude pool and was there trying to score with any woman he could lost his lunch big time.   Man, did we all fly out of that pool in a hurry!  Hubby at first thought it was some unidentified floating mass" when he warned me .  I looked up to see the guy in full blown projectile all over some poor woman.  Gross!!!! Took about 24 hours to drain, clean and refill the damn thing.  The goofball never showed his face on the nude side again.   After that we were told some other guy got a blowjob and dumped it right in the pool.   Missed that one.  Hopefully the chlorine
did its job!

Funniest event....A bunch of us were hanging out and chatting in the cold Jacuzzi when
 this old gentleman came in that could barely walk - I mean we're talking
mid to late 80's easy here.  He gets in, has his back to us and stands in front of one of
the jets and begins to jerk off in broad daylight!  So again, we all jump up
on each other, the wall anything to get out of the way.  I thought we were
 going to drown we laughed so hard!  Hubby missed that one as he went to the
 bathroom.  Discussion the rest of the afternoon was trying to decide if he
 was indeed successful.  It was an impasse. (Hey, I told you we had quality conversations!)

Plenty of room in the hot tub and an amazing amount of PDA's considering the low volume of people.  We're talking serious PDA stuff here.  Less can be more!

The people that were there met were great.  Had an absolute blast with everyone.   Since there were not many guests, we really had time to get involved in quality conversations and discussions versus the usual introductory hi, where ya from?   That was the best.  Saw people we had met at the Hedo Reunion which was great.  Quality vs. quantity!   (The Cat cruise was cancelled because of choppy seas).  There were actual white caps!  It had rained lightly that morning and was a bit chilly.  First time we ever had coffee poolside in the morning but by noon the sun came out and it was great.  I'd like to say it was more relaxing vacation because of the low occupancy but we still managed to stay up past 1:00 am most nights and went to bed at 4:00 am once so I know that makes no sense, but it's Hedo!  Of course we slept just about all day on Sunday when we returned.

Toga night was a complete bust.  The staff and too many of their friends entertained everyone so long  the meager crowd became bored and ended up at Veronicas.  I think they started the Toga stuff pretty close to 11 pm with whoever was left. 

Dave was the best!  He always is.  Every single night he plugged Chris Stantilli's book and credited Doug with the lyrics to "Hedonismville".

The midnight buffet was the best I had ever seen.  Food was out continuously thought out the night and not just those steamed hot dogs either!  Tasty little sandwiches, pastries, cookies and at times whatever was left over from dinner.

Leaving was just as difficult as ever.  We left after a full day of drinking with our 32 oz mugs full with our last Seabreaze and headed to Tim Air with a fairly good buzz.  I got to be co-pilot with hubby and a friend in the back seat.  A little unnerving for them as I'm not fond of tiny planes (especially the four seater we were on!)  and having taken my pills to ward off a panic attack plus the days worth of booze & "whatever" in my system made for an interesting flight.  You know, I had no idea just how sensitive those controls really are on those planes.  Boy, you barely have to move them and that plane dips!  Whooohooo!  My back seat drivers were grateful  the pilot landed the plane instead of me.    Arriving at the terminal was a breeze due to the pre-check in at Hedo with Air Jamaica.  We had that much more time to have those great Mango Margaritas at Margaritaville while waiting for our flight which indeed left on time!

We were so excited to find our seats were by the emergency exits.  For once hubby had great leg room to spread out.  We buckled our selves in, pulled out our travel pillows, put on our eye masks, curled up with a smile while we drifted off into Hedo dreams only to be woken up by the stewardess shaking us and telling us that we needed to be relocated as they were not comfortable with us at the Emergency Exit.   So off were shuffled to back of the plane.  Could it be the fact we were sleeping before the plane even took off and completely missed the emergency instructions?   Maybe they didnt like the look of those 32 oz mugs we still had in our hands when we fell asleep.  I guess O de Booze isnt the cologne of choice to be wearing in the Emergency Exit seats. 

Counting the days until our next trip in December!

Respect!

John and Renee