Hedo II and Hedo III Trip Report
By CaribCouple
After benefiting from the wealth of information on Denny’s website for years, we decided it is finally time to share our experiences at Hedo 2 and 3. We began our Jamaican experience at Couples in Ocho Rios, a lush, romantic, well-kept, near luxury resort, couples only, with a really cool offshore island where you can get naked (or nekkid) back in March 1996, then “graduated” to Hedo 2 for our annual March vacation in 1997, 98, 99, 01 and April 02, deciding to finally try Hedo 3 the second week in August this year for 8 days.
Quick Travel Tip: The regs allow one carryon and a personal item such as a briefcase, computer case, etc., but they don’t require that a laptop or papers are in them, so use them like a suitcase. If you bring “toys” that is almost certainly the bag they will sift through, especially now that there is an alert to check electronic items. Just smile and proudly say you are going to Disneyland for adults. They’ll still run the bag through X-ray a few times, 3 or 4 agents will congregate and whisper about you and your luggage, then you are off, leaving them wondering just where in the heck you are going. It’s actually kind of funny.
Since there’s no airport close to Runaway Bay, at least not one most people would want to land at, the bus is the better option. Ocho Rios airport is OK, but that usually involves a fairly long and expensive taxi back over to Hedo 3. The ride takes about an hour and a half on a minibus, add about twenty more minutes if you are on a big bus. Now that the road to Negril is finished, they’re working on the road from MoBay to Ocho, parts of which are now unpaved. The ride is fairly scenic. You’ll see a few film locations used in James Bond movies. You’ll also pass the remnants of a plane used by a ganja smuggler that fell short of its destination and now serves as someone’s storage shed!
Check-in was extremely fast and we were quickly escorted to a corner room in the 600 building right in front of the pool/hot tub with a decent view of the ocean. There is a lot of noise at night from the hot tub area, but if you turn the AC on and turn on the bathroom fan, and shut the bathroom door, you can drown most of it out, except the bass from the incessant music from the bar and loudspeakers placed about the grounds. Rather than continue with a day by day description of our trip this time, we’ll go straight into a Hedo 2 vs. 3 comparison, incorporating our observations about our most recent trip below. Besides, there isn’t much to tell about our last stay. Like half the guests, we were sick most of the week from an as yet undiagnosed illness that spread through the resort like wildfire. H3 was at max capacity this week with two large groups, Cocktails International and Wild Women Vacations, in attendance. We met some nice folks from both, and each brought their own style of fun. We’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
OK, someone is bound to disagree (which is fine, it is your First Amendment right to do so), but here is our reasonably objective comparison of Hedo 2 and 3.
H2: Negril, on the western tip of Jamaica is located on one of the best beaches you could ever ask for. The sand stretches for 7 miles and its waters are clear and calm. The town is full of nightlife, restaurants, bars, and shopping, should you desire to venture from the resort. Getting there is quick by bus via the newly improved highway in about 1 ½ hours, maybe a little less without the obligatory Red Stripe stop. By far, the better option is via charter plane. The ride is fast, the scenery beautiful, and the landing at Negril’s airport is the closest most of us will ever come to a carrier landing. The taxi ride to the resort from there seems like it takes about 30 seconds.
H3: Runaway Bay is on the North Coast between MoBay and Ocho Rios. The bus ride can take nearly two hours due to road construction. If you want to shop or check out local restaurants, nightlife, etc., you’ll have to ride on over to Ocho. H3 is sort of isolated. If you like mountains, you can see them stretching for miles in either direction. The view from the waterfront is gorgeous if you gaze westward towards MoBay. The beaches are manmade here and the surf can be rough, sometimes pounding over the ironshore onto the deck and boardwalk.
Winner: Hedo 2
H2: As stated above, Negril possesses one of the World’s most famous (or infamous) beaches. If the buildings were any closer to it, you’d be wet. Trees provide shade along much of it, yet there is plenty of room to bake yourself to a crisp in unfiltered radiant sun. The nude beach jetty is manmade, but is actually quite nice. From its tip circling around to the natural beach and continuing to the beginning of the prude beach is at least a few hundred feet. Unless you are going for the jetty, space is never a problem. You can choose to be alone if wish, or lie with the crowd. Chairs and rubber rafts/cushions are adequate. Prime locations on the jetty and closest to the bar do require that you rise early to claim your spot. Water visibility is good and the colors varied. The beach bottom is a little on the rocky side with numerous sea urchins. Reef shoes are advised. Fish are also in abundance, including barracuda, so be careful if you wear jewelry in the water! We hear they have a prude beach just as nice, but we’ve never seen it except from a distance.
H3: Yuk! Other than surf/waves, and a beautiful deep blue beyond the reef, H3 really doesn’t have much going for it in the way of a beach. The nude beach is tiny, manmade, and protected by a rock barrier so you can’t see the ocean while floating on a raft or lying down. It sees little use, so no problem finding a place to sit. There are a number of immature palms on the fringe, and there is a completely shaded second level tier where you can seek shelter from the sun if you wish. The beach is bounded by a sort of deck on the edge of the property and the pier, which also has lounge chairs. You catch a breeze there and can watch/hear the surf, but it does get hot quickly. Again sea urchins are a danger, but the bottom is somewhat sandier than at H2. The prude beach is downright unattractive. While at least three or more times larger than the nude side, there are almost no trees, and it is surrounded by an ugly green fence. The only reason we know this is that is where they had the Beach Bash/Lobster Night, and you can see it from the Scotch Bonnet. Just look the other way and you’ll have a beautiful view of the Caribbean.
Winner: You have to ask? Hedo 2.
H2: Lush, varied, tropical flowers, shrubs, and trees wherever you look, extremely well cared for and fully mature. Even the turf is nice. Absolutely stunning. Lots of neat little hideaways hidden about the property, which is nearly twice as large as H3.
H3: The shrubs and flowers are almost as varied and lush as at H2. However, they have the same problem we do; lots of wild Bermuda where there should be St. Augustine turf. Bare spots too. They will never have the tree height or variety found at H2. Admittedly though, they had to start from scratch because the property was nearly barren before construction of the resort, which is much more compact than H2.
Winner: Hedo 2.
ROOMS
H2/H3: A picture is worth a thousand words, so go to the Superclubs website and check the 360 degree views. You just don’t spend much time in the room unless you are in the bed or the bathroom. Yes, H2 is old and sorely in need of not just a fresh coat of paint and new furniture, but a complete renovation. Then there is the unpredictable water pressure/temp in the shower too. However, the bed is comfortable. The rooms at H3 are newer, but already showing some wear and tear. The jacuzzi above our room leaked through the ceiling. Also, H3 has in-room TV (including Playboy). We never missed the TV at H2, but might if we were confined to the room sick like we were often last week. The buildings at H3 are pretty, but overwhelm the scenery. At H2, the buildings blend into the landscape, which is actually a creature of law in Negril (nothing higher than the trees). At H3, there were daily power outages, never a problem at H2.
Winner: A toss up. The rooms just aren’t that important in the overall scheme of things, believe it or not.
FOOD
H2/H3: Although laid out a little differently, both resorts offer the same options: the buffet in the main dining room, Pastafari (Italian), Munahana (Japanese), Scotch Bonnet (Jamaican) and the beach/pool grills. We’re not huge fans of any of the “sit down” restaurants, except that it is nice to relax and have someone bring your food. The menus are rather limited at all three. The big advantage is that the food is freshly prepared for you. We’ll get a lot of argument here, but there is no doubt in our minds that the buffet at H2 is larger, more varied, and of better quality than at H3. They may “recycle” some dishes at the next meal, but that’s it. We saw the same dishes at H3 three days in a row. Fresh fruit at 2 includes local varieties, but all we saw at 3 was watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, and pineapple. More salads and desserts at 2 as well. We ordered jerk pork at the Scotch Bonnet at H3 and what we got was unmistakably jerk pig tail ! Service was slowwww there. However, the beachfront location provided a wonderful view (if you look in the right direction). Service in the main dining room at both resorts was timely and very courteous. However, the buffet at 3 appeared dirty and poorly maintained with scraps of food everywhere. Not so at H2. Many in the crowd must have had parents who never taught them proper manners and etiquette either, but more on that below. Oops, almost forgot the nude grills. H3 has burgers, hot dogs, grilled cheese, fries, nachos, and a chicken salad. Robert’s at H2 has the usual plus jerk chicken, fish, and if you order in advance, grilled lobster. There is no comparison here in either variety or quality. H2’s nude grill is so good we’ve only once gone to lunch at the buffet. It is that good. One more thing, PLEASE Superclubs, get rid of that intrusive, obnoxious “art” (if you can call it that) auction right in the middle of dinner.
Winner: Hedo 2.
H2: Small, hot, loud, cramped, marginal bar service and full of Vinnies. Except for PJ night, forget it. H2 should rebuild the disco completely to be more like, heaven forbid, H3!
H3: Rivals many stateside nightclubs, including strip clubs! Spacious, great lighting/sound system, good bar service, a cage and a pole for dancing or, well, you know. Everyone seems to congregate there from 11:00 to 1:00, then off to the hot tub. Pretty much anything goes in this little dungeon and couples outnumber the Vinnies so that they are reduced to wallflowers instead of constantly rubbing up against your wife…and risking their lives in the process.
Winner: Hedo 3.
H2/H3: We’re not big piano bar people but have tried both. The Piano bar at Hedo 2 is spacious, and is sort of divided into sections so that you can (almost) get away from the sing along if you want. A few plush couches are available too. Also, there is an adjoining reading/game room. And of course, there’s Dave. H3 is strictly for singing, not for relaxing, and is laid out accordingly.
Winner: Hedo 2.
H2/H3: Unless you require only minor first aid, get on the plane and head home to a doctor. The nurses aren’t permitted to do much, and the medical facilities in Jamaica leave a lot to be desired.
Winner: There ain’t one.
EC’s/ACTIVITIES:
H2/H3: The turnover rate among EC’s is so high, it is hard to single out a given person from year to year. Nevertheless, the resorts seem to always come up with some funny, bubbly, and often beautiful people to get things stirred up or just sit and chat with you, and to make sure you are enjoying your vacation. At H2, the EC’s are significantly less “pushy” than at H3. Quite frankly, the crowd at H2 doesn’t need any help. At H3 around the nude pool, three or four times a day, the EC would stop the music, announce via PA every event for the next few hours, and try to round up participants. For example, one day at H3, there was an innocent (OK, naughty) “shower show” by five beautiful women in the window of one of the rooms adjacent to the pool. It was HOTTTTTTTTT ! Just as it began, not one, not two, but three EC’s came along screaming at everyone to get up and go to the quad pool for an “invasion.” The leader already had at least two dozen people going with her, so why did she continue to try and recruit the rest of us? Well, to make a long story short, two of the EC’s and the security guard took front row seats, one of the EC’s saying to the lead EC, “Girl, you can have your damn quad pool, I’m staying right here honey!” And she did. Other than at sunrise, that was the only time a total hush fell over the resort. You could hear a pin drop for the rest of the show. Whew!
A quick word about photos. Of course there are numerous signs posted about the nude areas stating that taking pictures is not permitted. Nevertheless, as soon as the previous day’s show began, some Wally picks up his film camera with a zoom lens and points it at the shower/jacuzzi tub window (yes, practically the entire wall of your huge tub/shower at H3 is open to all unless you pull the shade). It took one girl’s husband about a nanosecond to relieve the individual of his camera and its film. The Wally had no class or understanding of what respect at Hedo means. We are all for taking pics of yourself, significant other, friends (with permission of course) anywhere you want as long as no one else is in the background, whether an innocent, coy pose or outright porn. Where else can you find such a sensual background and hoards of willing and capable photographers to make sure that everyone who wants to be in the scene can be? Both resorts provide numerous places for good photo opportunities. Be sure to check out the ruins in front of building 600 at H3 for a perfect shooting locale. Careful though, you’ll draw a crowd day or night!
As for activities and theme nights, we love PJ night, toga night and the beach party are fun as well, but we can do without the rest. Who wants to pack all of those costumes? Lots of people make their own togas now. Most are revealing and many look like they came from a Hollywood costume wardrobe. PJ/Lingerie night is definitely the “must do” of all though. By Tuesday the crowd is in the groove and the word inhibition disappears from the dictionary in any language. The daytime scheduled activities border on being sophomoric and are generally geared towards the prudes, regardless of where they are held. In any case, the “noodies” don’t need any help finding innovative ways to occupy their time and spice things up if necessary. Things like formally organized body shots, naked twister, etc, are more common at H3. The H2 crowd is pretty much licking on each other all day anyway (not literally, but you get the drift) and they don’t need a spinner or game board to play naked twister either.
One more thing. People were sick enough at H3 the week were there without increasing the risk of taking home something you didn’t want by the EC’s themselves organizing, shall we say, “oral skill” contests (to completion – first one wins…who wants to be first anyway?) by having seven or eight couples line up ON, not at, the bar, the recipient sitting right where food and drinks were served. PDP’s and PDA’s are fine. We’d be disappointed if there were none, but please, on the bar? And again, the H2 crowd doesn’t need any help in organizing their own such activities. Neither did a certain percentage of those at H3.
Winner: Hedo 2.
H2: Bar service and drink selection at Delroy’s is awesome. Plenty of space to just walk up and get a drink, or sit in the pool on the other side. The pool area itself is spacious enough, but arrive early for a good seat. By five or so, most people are either in the water and/or hot tub. The hot tub is huge and deservedly legendary. Everything you’ve heard about it is true, whether it is the cocktail hour from five to seven or after dinner from ten on through the night. Aside from the occasional (and all too frequent) Vinnie or Wally leering or plopping down beside you, people are well-behaved, well mannered, and rather quiet (in terms of loudness, not action). A more openly sensual experience is beyond human imagination.
H3: Bar service is almost as good as at H3, except if you want a drink, you must either wade via the pool or stand at a counter space about three feet wide above the bar and reach over and down. This is really inconvenient. The week we were there was a water volleyball game from about ten until five every single day. People were hit on the head, drinks knocked over, lots of shouting, and so on. We were never happier than when the ball went sailing irretrievably into the Caribbean. We were never more sad than when they stole the ball from the quad pool and began using it instead. The pool area is small, as in really, really cramped, chairs and towels scarce (no rubber cushions like at H2), and dangerously slick in many spots. In addition, the area is infested with something much like fire ants that sting hard and leave a nasty welt. Get there early (sunrise) or you will be roasting on the pier or on the nude “beach.” Lots of people got fed up and spent much of their time at the quad pool, which is clothing optional.
Winner: Hedo 2, by a landslide.
H2/H3: Both have them.
Winner: Who cares? You can work out, shoot pool, and get a massage at home.
H2/H3: Hobie/Sunfish sailing, kayaks, snorkeling, and SCUBA are available, as are boat rides. The waters of Negril are definitely better suited to all of these activities. Whatever you do, don’t miss the Tuesday or Saturday CO Cat cruise run by Jennifer at Hedo 2. The boat is huge and she runs that show likes she’s been doing it for years, which she has.
Winner: Hedo 2.
H2/H3: Here is where we will really tick some people off, but the truth is the truth. If it had not been for the core (about a dozen or so from each group) of the Wild Women and Cocktails Int’l, our H3 trip would have been a total bust. The people and the atmosphere they create are truly what makes the Hedo experience. Many have stated that the difference between the two resorts is due to the fact that H2 has been around so much longer. We don’t buy that. It is more likely due to the demographics. The age range at both resorts is from the 20’s to 70’s. Obviously there are very few at the upper end, but kudos to those that do make it. They can be a real hoot. The age range at H2 is basically a bell curve with the average being around forty, the great majority between 30 to 55 or so. The curve at H3 is decidedly skewed towards the younger side, perhaps by seven years or thereabouts. This may explain the rowdiness, loudness, and lack of manners or etiquette all too common at H3. Also, at H3, there isn’t much mingling. People walking by often don’t even say hello there. At H2, by Tuesday, on the nude side, you won’t know a stranger. Although you’ll meet professionals at both, the guests at H2 are substantially more well-heeled, worldly, and polite, if not sophisticated. Of course, Vinnies and Wallies plague both, but they can be dealt with, if not by a couple of men in the crowd, then by security, which is very responsive at 2 and 3. Many wonder about “bodies” too. You will see a few stunners and a few people that really should not be naked even in front of themselves. Almost everyone else is somewhere in the middle. Generally speaking, even though older, the crowd at H2 is a little better looking, and in better shape, than at H3. Just an observation, so holster those flamethrowers.
Lastly, what everyone wants to know about: SEX. PDA’s and PDP’s will be seen at both. The sex police seem to have disappeared. We’ve never seen them break anything up in all of our visits. If organized body shots and silly contests are your thing, go to H3. If you truly want to be wicked for a week, see others doing the same, or if you want to try something(one) different, if that is your “thang,” then H2 is the only choice. Shabby as its buildings may be, as stated above, you will not find a more sensual place in terms of the setting, or the atmosphere, or the people.
Winner: Hedo 2.
Overall Winner: Do the math!
Maximum Respect, all the time.
(a/k/a CaribCouple)
PS – A big thank you to Denny for the great effort in maintaining one of the best websites of any type. You can tell the man loves his work!