We did our
first trip the last week of April 1998, and ended up at Hedo on luck alone.
We had gone to a travel agent, and said we wanted all adult, all
inclusive, west coast of Jamaica. Past
that, we were shopping price. The
travel agent quoted us Sandals, Swept Away, and a couple others.
But Hedo had the best price and still all the amenities we wanted. She tried to talk us out of it as it was for a younger,
party crowd. But we were going
to relive our youth, so off we went.
We had no
intention of doing the nude thing, but long story short, we were sitting naked
in the cold water Jacuzzi on our second day and planning our return trip the
following year. Our second trip
was again the last week of April 99. We
had met a few people that first trip who said they returned the same week
every year, so we figured if it was good enough for them, it was good enough
for us. That entire year before
our second trip passed entirely too slow, and I can remember when we finally
got back, it seemed surreal. I
will never forget standing at the main bar right after we got there, getting
our first drinks, and looking at the columns that support the roof in the main
dinning area. I just couldnt
believe we were back!
To back up a
little bit, on our trip down for that second trip, we saw a couple on the
plane who looked familiar from the year before.
Turns out they were members of the Buttcrack TOURS.
We ended up sharing a TimAir flight with them, and during that second
trip, we became friends with them and many members of the BC Tours.
So during that year between the second and third trips, we got together
with a number of the couples we met, and it made the time pass easier. We even brought in the new millenium with fellow hedonists.
We also formed a friendship with a number of folks via the internet
between that second and third trip, and that helped bunches too.
So our third
trip was less surreal, and more of an extended family reunion with people we
see too little of during the rest of the year.
This third trip was WAY different from the first two, but probably has
more in common with trips to come.
The Preparation
As expected,
we took just as much luggage as years before.
But we took less items we didnt need, and more of the things we
missed on the second trip. Specifically,
Bev took a ton of sexy dresses, shoes, jewelry, and spent the week strutting
her stuff. She spent the entire
year before shopping the sales racks, and even found a thrift store that had a
"Fredricks of Hollywood/Victorias Secret section.
Of course, the week before we went, she had to decide which seven of
her nearly 20 outfits she was actually going to take.
But thats fine. I enjoyed the fashion show as a nice precursor to the main
event!!!
Good Start/Bad Start
The previous
trips we had flown USAir. This
trip, we booked through GoClassy and they put us on Delta/Air Jamaica.
We were excited about it as we were going to get into MoBay almost two
hours earlier than we would have on USAir.
The trip could not have gone smoother.
The Air Jamaica plane had much less leg room than US Air, and on that
length flight, it was a pain. But
their food was much better, and the complimentary champagne was quite a
surprise. We had a strong tail
wind, and were going to arrive in MoBay 20 minutes early.
We had to circle due to other traffic, but still got on the ground
right on time.
Immigration
was backed up out into the hall. We
managed to squeeze our way in and get at the end of the far line.
And then a lady came and took the end of the line and opened a new
booth, so we ended up zipping through there.
Our luggage was already off the belt, and TimAir was putting us in
their taxi in just a few minutes for the ride to the commuter terminal.
We arrived at the TimAir terminal, and immediately were whisked to the
waiting 6 seater Cessna with what appeared to be a 19 year old Cuban pilot.
Got to Hedo
to discover computers on the desk. We
were told to sit in the middle area, and they handed us a sheet to fill out.
Maybe 15 minutes later, we were handed our key, and the time was a
quarter after noon. A new record.
That was the
good. Now the bad.
Like most people, we ended up getting way too drunk that first night.
I always end up stubbing my toe on that little step in front of the
drink fountain at the hottub, so this year I was determined, drunk or not, to
avoid that little unpleasantry. And
I DID avoid it. But
unfortunately, as we are getting out of the hottub to go back to the room, in
my drunken state, I manage to kick the speaker that looks like a rock.
I knew I had stubbed it bad, but being that drunk we went back to our
room and passed out. Woke up the
next morning, and couldnt even stand up.
You got it, I had broken the middle toe on my left foot.
Oh well, I finally got to see a part of Hedo I had hoped never to see,
the nurses station. They taped it
up, and it only slowed me down that first day (walking in the sand with a
broken toe is NOT fun).
I took the
toe out that night and got it drunk.
The Food and Drink-The Good and the Bad-Just Like
Last Year
Roberts
Grill continues to be the best readily available fare. The buffet at the main dinning hall always has good stuff on
the cold salad bar, but the hot bar is many times less than spectacular.
Sunday night steaks were tasty, and the jerked pork on one of the
nights was good. But otherwise,
nothing to scream about. We did
finally manage to hit the midnight snack for the first time.
They did grilled cheese sandwiches at the prude grill one night.
So between doing that, and actually going to the prude grill, we had
two firsts! lol!
Robert asked us to mention they need a new, larger fry machine for
Roberts famous fries. We complied
with that request when we filled out our exit survey.
We did
Pastafaris on Wednesday night. Unlike
last year, we showed up sober. The
food and service were excellent. And
we really enjoyed the champagne (in moderation).
Delroys
ran out of bananas one day. A
Hummingbird just isnt the same. So
I went with Mudslides (Bev never varies from her Purple Tongues, er, Rains,
that is). What the hell happened
to the beer tapper at the hottub?!?!! We
heard later that the staff had been gulping beer.
Maybe so, but dont penalize us guests.
I have seen on Dennys board that the tapper is back.
Good thing.
Love is In the Air, or at least the water
The first year, the sex police were quite active. We havent seen them sense. More PDA during the day this year than last, and even several good shows during the social hour in the hottub. Aint hedo grand.
Travel Channel
The Travel Channel was there filming most of the week. They put up signs saying if you dont want to be filmed, stay out of the area. That was fine, but they only have one toga party. So it was either be filmed, or dont get on the floor. But there was one large advantage to them being there on PJ night. Let me say that mid week, it got really hot in Jamaica. Very little breeze, and humid. Even at night it was uncomfortable. They had the PJ party up in the main building. Not because of the heat, but because of the crowd and the filming. We showed up for the PJ party, but not only was it hot, it seemed that things were too spread out to appreciate what everyone was, or was not wearing. I like being able to stand at the bar in the disco and watch everyone come in. So we walk over to the main bar to get a drink, and run into a number of our friends who say they are still having a PJ party in the disco for those who dont want to be filmed, so off we go to the disco.
What a GREAT
PJ party. Many of the hardcore
nudists were at the disco, and it was WAY less crowded than usual.
Sure, there were still plenty of people, but not nearly as bad as years
past. They had all the same
contests, and again, we won third best couple.
Just like last year, we wore nothing opaque, skin to win, and we did.
We were also proud in that Ohio swept the competition.
Two other couples from our hometown were there, and they took first and
second!
The only
negative to the party was one drunk vinnie who thought he had the right to
grab our ladies. Hats off to
several of us for not decking the guy (although I found that when I dance I
occasionally swing my elbows in a large lip fattening way).
Everyone could tell he was so drunk he could hardly walk, and thats
what saved his ass for sure.
Entertainment
Not sure we
caught a single show this year. We
watched part of the beach Soca party they had on Saturday night. And while we didnt go on the floor and participate, we
watched the Battle of the Sexes and the Toga bash.
But we were usually off with friends during most of the other shows.
We spend much more time in Veronicas and the disco than previous
years, but that was our plan going down.
We also saw
less and participated in less of the daytime activities. The entertainment staff was mostly new. Marc was his usual self, but many of the events just didnt
seem to be rolling like they did in past years.
We especially missed seeing Lewis.
And although not part of the entertainment staff, Augustus was around
and his usual pleasant self. We
like to sit down at the edge of the water, and we always speak to him.
So by the third day he said hed have our chairs ready for us.
Things we missed before, but took care of this trip
We finally took our photo (several actually) in front of the Nude Beach-No Photography Allowed signs.
Took a photo
of the Buttcrack Tour sign
Tried the
fish from Roberts to supplement the jerked chicken at the 6:00pm happy
hour. Very good, but very hot!
Put our feet
in the prude pool, just to say we did it.
As expected, we pulled them out, and there were socks on them!
lol!
Regrets
Like a lot of people, we totally misread the controls on the air conditioner. It may seem elementary, but when it says reduce the temperature, it is easy to think in terms of turn the AC down. WRONG! We took a nap Wednesday afternoon, and that thing was blowing on us so cold we ended up getting stopped up heads that night. So to help everyone out, I took a photo of the control. You want to turn the control UP, not down.
Still never
waited out the omelet line at breakfast.
But as we only made it to one breakfast, no surprise there.
That I didnt
throw that hat Bev took into the Caribbean and take an Aussie bush hat for her
like Keri wore! lol!
Missed the
Find Your Mate contest. I
assume they had it. Although we
had no intention of participating, it was a laugh riot to watch last year.
We already
discussed the toe. Four weeks
later, and its STILL sore!
And one of
our biggest regrets; we stayed pretty much hammered those first three days.
We only remember select pieces of it.
We MUST have had a good time, but next year we hope to pace ourselves
better.
Hope to see you next year, if not sooner
We were really wearing down those last few days. Only three hours sleep a night will do that to you. We are considering only doing 5 nights next April, but making up for it by returning in the fall. We are already pricing a 4 night stay in October 2000.
To Fred and Mo, Bill and Joyce, John and Myrtle, Ken (thats a big f*^#king machete youve got there!) and Keri, Chris and Pam, Robin and Deb, the Columbus Ohio contingent, and all our good friends in the Buttcrackers, cant wait till next year!