C
and G Trip Report, 3/6/00 3/12/00
Where
does one begin to describe the best vacation of ones life and a trip that
was almost mystical? As so many
other have said in their trip reports, it will be impossible to give a day by
day description of the trip, but I will hit on the highlights and offer some
advice to first time visitors based on our experiences.
The
trip started On Sunday night, 3/5 with a direct red eye flight from LA to
MoBay. It turned out to be more
of a red eye than we anticipated. The
flight was scheduled for 10:15pm and eventually took off at 3:05am.
Fortunately, Air Jamaica called us earlier in the day and informed us
that there was a delay (although they said 1:30am, but we called that night
and got the update to 3:15am). The
flight was LONG and very uncomfortable. I
have flown a lot over the years and have never experienced a plane with so
little leg room as the Air Jamaica plane.
We
arrived at MoBay somewhere around 10:30am on Monday, 3/6 and got the van over
to TimAir for the short flight to Negril.
Although many people had advised us to take the bus at least once
for the experience, we opted for the plane.
G (the female half of C and G) has a tendency for motion sickness and
we decided that it wouldnt be cool to start our vacation with an upset
stomach. Looking down at the road
that the bus takes from the plane, we were glad we made the decision we did.
For those of you debating the bus versus the plane, we would strongly
recommend the plane and Tim Air. The
flight was great and we did get to see a lot of Jamaica, but just from a
higher perspective. The flight was beautiful and smooth. The plane was a vintage model Cessna with four seats
(including the pilots seat!). G
described it as a VW Bug with wings, but it was A LOT more comfortable than
Air Jamaica!
When
we arrived at Hedo, we were greeted at the front desk by our online buddy,
Herb, whom we had met as a result of Dennys visitor board.
Herb and his beaituful wife Joyce had been there for a couple of days
before we arrived and it was great to have an immediate group of friends to
hang with even before we had checked in.
Since we got there around noon, our room was not immediately available,
but no problem, mon. It turns out that we arrived just in time to grab some lunch
and watch the Wet T-shirt contest with our new friends. The contest was a lot of fun.
The first 4 days we were at Hedo there were several models from Perfect
10 who were there to do some photo shoots.
They were great people and lots of fun (as were Vickie and Michael who
were there with them to coordinate the photo activities), but we felt that
perhaps they should have been excluded from the various contests since they
were professional models. I
suspect their participating in the Wet T-shirt contest changed its complexion
from what it normally is.
As
soon as the contest was over we went back to the desk and immediately got our
keys. We got room 2241 in H Block
(garden view nude). It was a
great room. It was right off the
main path between the nude hot tub and the dining area and about equally close
to each. It was sufficiently far
away from the disco and basketball courts that neither of them was ever a
factor for us. We heard from
other people that being upstairs was an advantage too as the upstairs rooms
were apparently more quiet than downstairs rooms.
Yes, the water pressure varied widely and yes, the temperature
fluctuated as though there was some sadist behind the wall changing it every
five seconds or so, but overall, we didnt really mind it.
In fact, I found my first shower back home to be rather boring with the
constant stream of perfectly adjusted water.
They should take hidden camera pictures of the dances that go on in the
showers as the temperature changes. It
would be hilarious! Beware,
though...the marble floors in the room are like ice skating rinks when wet
very
dangerous!
We
originally booked an ocean view room, but decided to take the garden view and
use the savings to pay for the Tim Air flight.
I would recommend this. As
nice as I am sure the ocean view rooms are, we literally did nothing but sleep
and shower (Ok, and make love) in the room.
Virtually every waking moment was spent outside the room and we rarely
looked out the window at the view.
We
decided the first night to shift our days.
We stayed up very late and slept late.
We got as much Hedo time as anyone else that way, but were able to do
all the night stuff and stay in the hot tub until the wee hours.
We only made it to breakfast one day during our trip and that was only
because G had resolved that she would have at least one breakfast at Hedo.
We set the alarm for the first and only time on that day.
About
the food
.it was very good, but not great.
However, Hedo first timers have to keep in mind that it is a buffet.
When was the last time you got truly outstanding food at a buffet?
We were always able to find plenty of food that we liked and it was
generally very good. The service
in the dining room was excellent. Pastafaris
was terrific! We ate dinner there
twice during our stay (be sure to make resrvations early in the day thanks
Herb, without you we would never have eaten there since we never got up early
enough to make the reservations). I
read a lot on the board before we left about the slow service at Pastafaris.
We didnt notice it being slow at all.
But then again, we went both times with great friends and we were
talking and having fun throughout the meal, so I dont know that we would
have noticed if the service was slow.
We
ate lunch (breakfast for us) virtually every day at Roberts Grill on the nude
beach. The hamburgers were not
very good, but they were more than made up for by the jerk chicken served
everyday at 6:00pm (or whenever it got there from the main kitchen).
(Suggest the club sandwich or BLT for lunch).
We
had big plans to do lots of things, but we found ourselves saying, Ok, well
do that tomorrow over and over again.
We didnt take the C/O catamaran cruise because we were concerned
about Gs motion sickness (and also because we never woke up early enough to
get down there in time!). Others
that did take it said it was great and strongly recommended the foot massage
by Steve (which, we understand, sometimes turned into a tonsil massage, right
Beth? J).
Our
days mostly consisted of sitting on lounges at the beach for a while and
having our brunch, moving to the pool when it got a little warm, then to
the cool jacuzzi and finally to the hot tub for happy hour which began
promptly at 5:00pm each day. I
know that sounds boring, but believe me, it was anything but.
We spent most of our time with the great friends we met there and it
was a laugh a minute. G did go
snorkeling one day and, thanks to her able instructor Herb, had a great time.
A
word or two about Vinnies and Wallies: We were there during Spring Break so
there were probably more vinnies than usual.
We thought that would be a problem, but we actually didnt mind the
vinnies too much. They
provided some amusement in the hot tub from time to time.
We especially liked the one we nicknamed, SwivelHead.
He was in the hot tub in his usual spot every night for the first four
nights of our visit. He couldnt
decide where to look first and as a result his head continually darted from
side to side, never staying in one place for more than a second.
This went on for HOURS every night!
It was very funny. The
vinnies tended to be lookers and we didnt mind them.
The wallies were another story, however. Many were absolutely disgusting and a total turn off.
We had to chase one of them one night.
This particular wallys move was to get himself out in the
middle of the cloverleaf of the hot tub and slowly move backward until he was
in physical contact with a woman. One
night he got to within a foot of G and I said Excuse me!
He scurried off like a cockroach when you turn the light on!
We hated the wallies. One
even had the audacity to actually sit on the edge of the hot tub and stroke
himself. Our opinion is that even
though the single guys do add a dimension to Hedo, it would be a lot more
enjoyable if the resort was couples only
..sorry guys, just our opinion.
It just seemed like for every nice, respectful single guy, there were
five jerks.
Highlights
of the trip:
PJ Night Great fun and very sexy night.
Wear as little and be as sexy as you dare and I guarantee there will be
plenty of people with less and sexier stuff on.
Congratulations to Herb and Joyce and Dave and Becky for their first
and second place finishes in the Best Couple category.
Their Western outfits were GREAT and very sexy!
Naked Twister I am prohibited from giving the
full story here, (what happens in Jamaica, stays in Jamaica). Suffice it to say that as the contestants dropped out, the
competition came down to just our buddy Herb and one other man who was
apparently very excited to be in
the competition, if you get my drift. J
G winning the Best Boobs competition.
While she does, indeed, have great boobs, and certainly deserved her
title as Ms. Best Hedo Boobs, we also found out that winning at Hedo is
not so much about who you know, but how loud they can cheer.
The music and the people of Hedo. We loved the Reggae music out by the pool (especially Short
Dick Man and The Pussy Song not its actual title). The staff at Hedo are incredible people and the Jamaican
people generally were the most pleasant, happy people we have ever met
anywhere in the world.
The woman with the single mastectomy who seemed so
comfortable with her body and who never stopped smiling.
If youre reading this, we want you to know that you were truly
inspirational.
The fountain in the middle of the wading pool in
front of the cave which we dubbed The Big Gulp.
Use your imagination and you will get a picture of why it was so much
fun (hint: It has nothing to do with drinking the water!)
The dirty dice/spinner game in the hot tub on
Thursday. Terrific fun and very
sexy! It was a great Hedo
initiation for Bob and Elisa who had just gotten to Hedo literally hours
before for their honeymoon! (Suggestion:
The spinner game called Wheel of Passion works a lot better than the
dice since you can stand in the middle and just hold it.
Rolling dice is difficult in the water!)
Last but certainly not least in the highlight
category was meeting Bob and Elisa towards the end of our trip. They helped us survive our last day and a half when,
one by one, all of the wonderful people we had spent the week with had to
leave. G and I shared some very
special times with them. and they are truly beautiful people.
Advice
to people making their first trip:
Take Tim Air to Negril.
While some people said the bus ride wasnt too bad, we didnt
meet anyone who said, You HAVE to take the bus, it was great!
You MUST bring a 32 oz insulated cup WITH one of
those plastic flexible straws (we remembered the cups but forgot the straws
and ended up buying two Hedo cups just to get the straws! Two $12 straws!). Waiting
for drinks all day with those little plastic glasses is not fun.
PRE TAN!!!!!!
Go to the tanning booth at least a month before Hedo (maybe even two).
We saw more than a few people whose vacations had to have been ruined
by bad burns.
Bring your Toga outfit/material. Its a lot easier that way.
We bought some material at JoAnn Fabrics before we left and practiced a
little before we left.
Email people on Dennys visitor list prior to
going. We made great friends
before we even got there and it made the trip a lot more enjoyable and started
the fun right away.
Bring earplugs for the disco. It is so loud that your ears might actually bleed without
them. There has no doubt been a
lot of permanent hearing loss incurred at Hedo over the years by people who
didnt use earplugs.
Say hello and introduce yourself to as many people
as possible. You never know if
the next person you say hello to might be a life long friend.
Dont take too many clothes. We managed to do the trip with only carry on (despite G
taking 4 pairs of slut shoes J)
We were very proud that we wore everything we brought except for one
dress that G bought in case her mood went in that direction when she got
there. Take your sexiest stuff
and strut it. If not at Hedo,
then where??
Bring single dollar bills and lots of them!
Everyone who touches your bags at either airport gets $1 per bag and A
LOT of people touch them! Also
smaller bills help you in terms of not getting Jamaican in change when you buy
something off campus. The shops
at Hedo give change in U.S.
However many disposible cameras or rolls of film
you plan to bring, triple or quadruple the number.
You will take more pictures than you have ever taken on a vacation
before. Dont be like us and
have to pay $20 for a disposible camera that would cost $6 at Wal-Mart.
Be careful of all the little senseless steps that
seem to be everywhere for no apparent reason (some of them literally a couple
of inches high!). It is very easy
to trip and/or stub your toes at Hedo. I
think I banged my toes on the little step in front of the soft drink machine
at the nude hot tub every single night.
Pace yourself and try not to drink too much (not an
easy task at Hedo). We found that
the strawberry dacquari (sp?) slush in the machine next to Roberts was the
perfect drink. It tasted great,
was very refreshing, and had just enough alcohol to keep you happy all day
without getting you blasted. One
day it was broken and I was banging down 32oz Sunsets all day
not a great
idea!
Miscellaneous:
There was plenty of open sex in the hot tub,
especially at night, but also in broad daylight during happy hour.
We were surprised by the recent post on Dennys board by someone
saying that they didnt see any open sex the entire week they were there.
We saw it (and participated in it) every day and it was a lot of fun.
The sex police were virtually nonexistent all
week.
There were plenty of rafts available, but as one
poster said before we left, if no one brought them, the supply would soon
dwindle.
Special
thanks to Herb & Joyce, Dave and Becky (winner of the Best Tan contest!).
They were, and are, very special friends and helped make our trip the
fantastic experience that it was. Also
thanks to Tom and Kathy, two very funny and uninhibited people who never
failed to make us laugh. Thanks
to Gary and Beth who are great people and whose foot rub story provided us
with great conversation every one of the 100 times we brought it up.
Finally, thanks to Bob and Elisa for a wonderful last couple of days.
You are very special people and we miss you.
All of you are invited to come to California any time and we will have
a great time.
Now,
back to planning for our next trip home to this wonderful, mystical
place.
Maximum
respect every time
.. C
and G