Okay as most of you know I am a virginwhat you do not believe me?I am a virgin at writing trip reports. Here goes---better late than never.
We flew USA 3000 for the first time. At least this time I remembered to take the batteries out of my toys so I was not approach in front of every one with the sky captain saying mam this bag is vibrating and I do not believe it is a bomb. Although I was patted down by an attractive female security guard-what a way to start a vacation. Note to self: do not put on lotion that has glycerin in it. It shows up as an explosive in and on your purse from your hands. The flight was great-we were early, there was movie and a meal. The only problem was once we got to the airport there was no one there from Cancun Expo. We tried to call to no avail. Took a cab for $45 plus tip.
First room we had did not have a king bed. Spoke with Sylvania and changed rooms the next day. The room was much nicer and bigger. Last time we had ocean front but really garden was just fine. We dont feel the price difference is worth it. You are rarely in your room. The new frig was a great asset. For some reason every morning I felt the need to drink plenty of water and the 3 big bottles in the frig came in handy.
Well I will not give a blow by blowhum thats a thought. Hey Jules and Karen do you give blow jobs and do you swallow? Sounds like a survey from the hot tub. I will give general information, some of which will mean nothing to you if you were not there. We were there for 11 days and after a while they seemed to run together. Too much alcohol? Not!!
Mornings consisted of sex, deciding if it was a beach day or pool day, breakfast, and then lying around in the sun nekkid. Oh did I mention there were lots of nekkid people around. The majority of peps were nekkid. If you were fully dressed when you came to the pool or hot tub you stood out. Oh yea Karen I think I even saw a Mexican or two but I am not sure as I have not yet googled the term.
Other happenings during the day-
Meeting great people and spending time with them. Some of whom may have gotten in to more trouble then me. You know who you are. Of course if any thing happened it was always Seralls fault unless I was Jules for the evening. Thank gosh Jules was as rowdy lets say as me.
Walking 8 miles to the resort to the south. I think Karen will never ever go with me again when I say wanna take a walk on the beach.
Trying to find Betty-last time I saw her she was laying on a bar with chocolate poured all over her. Too bad the manager showed up and kicked me out from behind the bar. We owe you one Betty.
Coming up with things not to say in the hot tub, to say in the hot tub and some we were not sure of-it depended on who was saying them.
Rubbing our noses when in need-Brian great save from the Tennis King.
Playing water volley ball and beach volley ball. Yes Jules and Brain I got my butt off the lounger once in a while. Of course there was alcohol involved-I missed on purpose so I just had to drink.
Wondering which guys had to sleep on the beach with and with out their bitches. (I wonder if they fought over the black lab).
Did I say that out loud?
Running into drunk neighbors still up at 9 a.m.
Finding the conch shell grave yard - thanks Russ & Cheryl. Hope youre staying warm.
Watching John kick Nino, Sal and every one elses butt at Back Gammon.
Meeting Tim while walking by the resort to the north with Sal, Nino and Karen who told me that I had to put me top on. On the return walk being ridden down the beach by Sal and promptly removing all my clothes once we past the hotel sign still insight of the other resort. Later Tim ended up at Desire and when he woke up he was nekkid and could not find his clothes and such. No Denny I had no thing to do with the latter part-for once I am innocent.
Watching fun being had on the beach-thanks Jeff & Amy.
Scaring young dressed men from other resorts.
Talking about working out and then never doing it-Cheryl least some one used the gym.
Trying to order room service other than pizza at the hot tub. Then getting 3 different types of chicken Caesar salads when ordering one. Thanks Gordon & Robin for intercepting the madness.
Meeting peps from different lands. Finding out different words have different meanings but friendship can be world wide-LOL Lensy & Linda-come visit us in the US.
Okay now to the afternoon, which means the hot tub. Oh Keith I guess I forgot Richs nap time. You guys know the ruleNo nap until Serall (fill in the blank). You guys know its all about us.
Back to the hot tub. It was great. Some times a little too hot for me but not for most peps. The beds were used regularly. Thanks all for the entertainment. Hey Gordon work on the dismount okay. If you get it right you may get a 10 next time. We are not sure if clapping is appropriate but we did it any way. By the way for you Wallys without your wives-( a term I came up with this trip) get a life. Do not touch a person unless invited and do not sit on the bed alone next to a couple and stare at them. In other words keep your distance. (Definition- a Wally a guy who is always around and you never see his wife or mate and they act like the annoying single guys at Hedo). I am glad there were just a few.
I regress---it was not the place we visited but the people. The WWW groups are the best. All types of people-swingers, voyeurs, nudist, and just not sure yet. Depending on the day we wondered what group we fell in to. But with Denny it does not matter-love ya kiddo!
The first night- the one you always say, last time I got way to drunk I will not do that again---yeah I said it but again I did not follow may advice. No food, way too much alcohol and stress release. Sorry if I offended any one. It was my evil twin Jules. Lol 69 Jail bait. If the outfit fitsdamn sexy..oops I said that out loud again.
Oh yeah hut tub- some times known as hot tomb---we never left. Okay but we only had one and we only had oneits funny how every drink becomes your first one or your last one..and those damn pink flamingos kept tipping the drinks. One thing I really appreciated was that most people accepted every one. In other words there were not a lot of hound dogs looking for their next hunt. Yes I said HUNT not ? Thank you to all you guys who were great friends that allowed us to be our selves with out pressure of sex. For the newbies who may read this report ---most of the people are great and unobtrusive-the rest we laugh at and tell to get a life.
If we left the hot tub (which we did not always do before heading to bed)(in our room-mostly) it was usually around 5-7 p.m. Most people went back to their rooms to clean up and head to dinner. Dinner wear was any thing you felt like wearing. Most dressed in what they were going to wear for the night except for PJ night. Dinner at the buffet was fine-after 12 days it all gets a little old but what wouldnt. Some times we did not eat dinner and just waited for the pizza at the Lobby bar at 11 p.m. The Mexican restaurant and the specialty one were my favorites. Hey Ron how much 43 did you bring back? If you go to the specialty restaurant make sure you go with friends because it can take forever and you need to entertain each other. By the way taking clothes off is not always permitted but I have the pictures to prove it can be done. Betty thank gosh I found that cherry you lostCan you help me find mine? The lamb and sea food is excellent. I think if the guys like you they keep you there longer and keep bringing dirty martinis, so many I lost count. Brian how was you head the next day-mind out of the gutter Jules.
We made it to the disco once in a while. It was okay. We are themed night out-Toga Toga every where. Especially after 11 nights-we had doubles. The music could use a tuning-right Sharon. Watch out for glass tables. Beach party was lived up by the seven glow ring circus. Sharon I hope you are practicing, I want to see at least 5 next year. Gordon and Denny thanks for the pictures. I assume you are saving copies for when I become a Supreme Court Judge. I loved the look on the bartenders faces-it may have been a first for them. Quite an accomplishment if so-you would have thought they have seen every thing! We only visited the play room once and not much going on then but a lot does. Usually we headed back to the hot tub.
The hot tub at night was usually hot. The beds were used a lot more than they were last year. Every one has to have sex in the beds under the stars at least once. I am just glad the group was not there to score us. You can even order a pizza to be delivered to the hot tub after 11 p.m. That way you have pizza and a movie-right Gordon?
We also hung out at the lobby bar and would meet there prior to dinner and some times after. Beware of women (okay maybe its just me) shoving Salerno down your pants only to go after it later. Yes both bottles made it home safely. Gordon theres still some left but you better hurry. The pizza was really good and some thing every one needed after drinking just a little all day. And no the animals we were feeding we not your imagination. They usually showed up every night. Cute werent they.
We just want to thank all those who made this trip a fantastic experience-Denny, Sharon, Brian, Jules, Karen, John, Betty, Leo, Lensy, Linda, Keith, Giselle, Russ, Cheryl, Gordon, Robin, Jeff, Amy, Mike, Barbara, Ron, Cheryl, Nino, Sal and every one else who we came in contact with. I hope we can get together again.