Trip Report December 7 December 14, 2002
"WE HAVE NOT SEEN YOU IN MANY YEARS! WE WERE AFRAID YOU HAD FORGOTTEN US! PLEASE DO NOT STAY AWAY SO LONG AGAIN!" The woman in the immigration booth at Sangster barked a welcome as she scrutinized our passports and papers.
Indeed, this was our first visit to Hedo II in almost a decade. Careers, family, other avocations, and two kids in expensive private colleges had created other priorities. We'd always loved Jamaica but the stars never seemed to be aligned properly to allow a return visit. But this was a milestone year. Twenty-fifth anniversary. Time for a second honeymoon.
Getting to Mobay from a small town in the Northern Rockies is a challenge. One day to get to Atlanta, an overnight, then an early AJ flight -- if all goes well. We'd been sitting on the jam-packed AJ plane at the gate in ATL for about an hour when the pilot walked back into the cabin and announced that we had a mechanical problem and he wanted to take a vote whether we should take off. The plumbing system had sprung a leak and hundreds of gallons of water were pouring out of the airplane's belly onto the ramp. We voted to GO. The pilot invited everyone to get off the plane and visit the restroom next to the gate since he'd have to lock the airplane potties. This apparently created a major terrorism incident for the TSA security force that swooped down and ordered all the passengers to go through yet another full screening. Result: About three hours late into Mobay!!
The busload of WWWers took about 45 minutes of travel time to reach "home". What an improvement the new road is!! Hedo check-in was a zoo with several dozen WWWers arriving at the same time but our patience was rewarded with a primo room assignment next to the massage shack, away from major noise sources and only a few steps from everything.
We are basically beach slugs and spent most of our days baking on the nude beach, floating (glad that we'd brought our own float), and drinking pina coladas from our ubiquitous 32 oz WallyWorld mugs. The weather was wonderful, only one rainstorm worth mentioning. On previous visits, we'd spent a lot more time in the hot tub but, as other reports have noted, the water temperatures were rarely in a comfortable range during the week and the hot tub was frequently closed for treatment because of the huge load of people using it.
We skipped the WWW nude cruise. The population density of 90 bodies on the cat-boat was a little intimidating. Instead, we took the regular nude catamaran cruise which followed close by the WWW boat, had only about a dozen passengers, and was the most relaxing and enjoyable morning of our trip.
The PJ party was great. The costumes were very imaginative and much more revealing and risqu than we remembered from previous visits. The toga party was OK but we thought that the costumes were less imaginative than when the sheets were required components.
We don't understand why some people complain about the food. The main buffet provides a huge and interesting variety. We enjoy grazing at the buffet, experimenting with spoonfuls of the many different flavors we'd never find at home. We were glad to see the return of the surf-n-turf. The dessert bar was incredible as always. Pastafari serves an excellent dress-up meal, Robert's hamburgers and jerked chicken are without parallel. Breakfast is always a treat with, or without Charlie's omelets. It would be interesting to total up the number of pounds gained by the 240 WWWers during the week. (Put us down for three apiece.)
Positive Impressions:
WWW is a great bunch of people. They really know how to party. And the huge pile of Christmas gifts collected for the children shows an uncommon generosity.
The "dress code" for common areas is much relaxed from 10 years ago. Then, sexy and see-through was rare in the dining room; today it seems to be the standard. Now, how long will it be before the tennis courts go CO?
Hedo staff are still friendly, fun-loving, and seem to enjoy their jobs. I'll long remember Augustus patrolling his nude beach barking out orders, "PICK IT UP", "TAKE IT OFF", "NO BUTTS"; Robert's world class burgers; and the smiles of all the staff when they say, "good morning."
What other resort in the world has such beautiful beaches, promotes nudity on a large area of beach, has a busy nightlife scene, and always has lots of really nice people? The rooms, though slightly dated, were clean, spacious, and comfortable. The grounds were beautiful and spotless except for occasional messes left by inconsiderate guests. We had one minor maintenance complaint that was fixed within an hour of our report.
Neutral Impressions:
We weren't quite as irritated as some people by the parade of gawker boats sponsored by Sandals, Beaches, and other lesser resorts. They just provide proof that these places are so mediocre that they have to take their guests on a road trip to show them what fun looks like. Pity these people.
We were more irritated by a small group of Vinnies floating near the nude beach who were obviously maneuvering their rafts for close-up peeks at the WWW women.
There was a much lower frequency of PDAs than we'd seen on previous trips.
Do the ECs have to sound quite so much like crazed Army drill instructors? Soon come. Tomorrow fer sure.
There was a small cadre of working girls on the nude beach selling their services to both male and female clients. These hostesses were very attractive, friendly, and didn't seem out of place among the WWW crazies. They only added to the scenery, created a little more sexual tension, and enhanced the people-watching opportunities.
We'd expected to be annoyed by the New York rap musicians and their followers. Actually, we saw very little of their group. A couple of them floating on the nude beach were wearing sufficient gold that they would have gone straight to the bottom had they slipped off of their rafts. Mostly they seemed to keep a low profile on the prude side.
Negative Impressions:
On previous visits we had spent a lot of time snorkeling in the water beyond the swimming buoys and photographing myriads of interesting fishes. We were disappointed to discover that the area is now almost completely devoid of life except for the occasional starfish or sea urchin. Our fins and masks stayed mostly in the closet.
Hedo visitors seem to include a much higher ratio of chain-smokers than the general population. At times, the dense clouds of tobacco and ganja smoke drove us away from gatherings especially at the nude hot tub. We spoke with numerous people who would have enjoyed a smoke-free area in the main dining room.
Two words: Air Jamaica. Interminable delays, poor maintenance, cramped seats, inadequate passenger communication, smashed luggage, lousy customer service. A once-proud carrier that has become a pustule on the ass of the third-world airline industry.
Bottom line: Hedo II still provides an environment in which guests can have a relaxing vacation, get wild and crazy 24/7, or any combination thereof. A wonderful week. Winter 2003 soon come.