7/7 - 7/13/02 WWW GROUP

ARRIVAL

I’m not one to go into flights and that kind of stuff.  I had no problems.  I did take the bus trip and would recommend it to “virgins” or world travelers.  I’m one of those types that likes to talk to the locals and the bus drivers I encountered on both trips were both very friendly and informative.  The countryside is also quite beautiful and I would compare it with driving down Hwy 1 in California as it’s all ocean side.  I also enjoyed looking at the little markets, the folks balancing things on their heads, the livestock and the locals who wave to you from the streets.  We stopped during the trip and had a rum punch (woo, no weak drinks there) and got the first ganja offer from neighbors with the “psst.”

Once at Hedo, my check-in was breezy (thanx to Denny).  Unfortunately, during the whole trip there was absolutely no record of me at any time.  A bit of a scary thought, but as Denny said “gee, you could stay and they’d never notice.”  Don’t I wish.

Many of my days are blurry thanx to taking my bra and watch off pronto and not putting that watch back on until I absolutely had to.

For those of you not familiar with Jamaica, it is a very beautiful country.  I was awestruck by the lushness of the flowers and plant life, as well as the abundant marine life.

I tend to be a little scatter-brained when it comes to writing, so bear with me while I’m all over the place.

TRIP/THOUGHTS IN GENERAL

First of all, my trip was intended as a release.  The last year has been very hard for me and the major goal of my trip was to let all that built up tension out like the toxin it was.  Mission accomplished.  Funny that I was one of 3 Donita’s there.  Go figure.

But, I do believe I have a unique perspective and encountered things that were not on the web site, nor in Chris’ book.  SINGLE FEMALES take note.  Since my trip was 98% positive, I won’t go in the negative here (except as addressed below), but encourage single females debating going alone to email me and I’ll elaborate with a few of the things you have to deal with.  One of them is the staff hitting on you relentlessly and aggressively, to the point where several people were concerned about my safety combined with my intoxication level.  Thank you to those of you who were inconspicuous bodyguards.

To the ladies, I was really impressed at patriotic night and pj night with the outfits and “come f*ck me” shoes.  WOW!  Admiration all around.

Okay, here comes all the randomness in no particular order.

I was unlucky enough to have my Birkenstocks blow out my second day down there, the equivalent of blowing a really good tire.  Not knowing at that point what the gift shop had in terms of stable shoes (stupid me), I decided to venture to the shops down the street off the resort.  DO NOT listen to the staff, taxi drivers or security guards.  They lie through their teeth and tried to tell me the little shops were 5 miles away.  They are in walking distance, but the heat is very intense.  I would avoid going from 10-2:00 p.m. when the sun is very strong.  I decided to go by myself, again wanting to absorb some local flavor.  I would not do this again.  I was approached relentlessly with “come here” to “hey baby.”  I would suggest dark sunglasses and a walkman to get any shopping done.

I enjoyed the catamaran trip immensely.  I fell in love with Rasta Ralphie.  The locals that perform, both Ralphie and the guitar guys at the front gate really appreciate it if you look them in the eye and watch them play/sing for you.  I did not get one of Steve’s infamous foot massages (what a handsome guy he is too).  Definitely on the next trip.  I let it all out and danced on the catamaran naked!  What a feeling of release.

OFF THE RESORT

Took three adventures off the resort.  One to Munihana (? can’t remember the name of the restaurant).  Wow, wow.  Had the most incredible lobster of my life (thanx to Frank and Greg for sharing; big thanx to Frank for having the foresight to just spontaneously invite me to the group).  Also went to Rick’s for sunset.  Yes, it’s touristy and everybody and their brother is trying to sell something, but I thought it was worth it.  Again, I like to meet the locals, so I hung out with Cory, the guard of where you jump off if you wish to take the plunge.  He told me to look up and I saw one of the locals sitting very high up in a tree (I thought he was asleep).  Had to have a pic of that.  Then, the guy dove into the water.  Cory introduced me to the other cliff divers who were all very sweet, friendly and in fantastic shape!  Darren also introduced himself and took me next door where I could take pictures of the beautiful lighthouse, as well as more cliff diving pictures.  I can’t say enough, if you open your heart, the locals will embrace you.  Most of them will try to sell to you or hit on you, but not all of them.

Another excursion was to the Hi Lo supermarket (thank you Frank).  I for one always like to check out grocery stores in foreign countries.  The staff there is very friendly and informative.  The rum cream and coffee is very affordable, as well as having a huge spice section.

FOOD

I thought the food was fantastic at Hedo!  They do know how to do fish -- it was always good.  Robert and his jerk is worth the 6:00 trip and line.  And his grilled cheese sandwiches with perfect fries ….  The only restaurant I tried at the resort was Pastafari and it was great!  Also a nice intimate atmosphere.

ON MY OWN

I will say that I did spend quite a bit of time by myself, because I wanted to or because I was “on the run.”  There were quite a few Wallies at Hedo and more than I certainly expected.  I was a bit disappointed that there weren’t more single men my age on the nude side (no offense fellas).

The local product is fricking fantastic and not too strong to where it will knock you off your ass in a scary way.  Before immediately looking for it if you’re going, I would suggest mingling with the guests in the main dining room.  I was fortunate enough to get leftovers (thank you to the couple from Menlo Park for their generosity).

The two things that I enjoyed most by myself when “hiding” were the hammocks (gotta get one of those!) and going down to the pier at night.  I would usually wander down there after dinner.  The boat guys and staff are nowhere to be found (meaning no hassles).  The marine life comes in and the leopard spotted sting rays are absolutely beautiful.  A big huge thank you to Rob and Debbie for clueing me into these beautiful moments I could have.  It also affords you the opportunity to hear the better bands they get at whatever that big resort is down the beach.  I was impressed.

EYE-OPENERS

The lifestyles group.  Ohmigod, Becky!  As those of you who may have read the posts, I was not looking for any action in Jamaica.  As a single female, there were many times I felt VERY uncomfortable in the hot tub or cool pool area when this huge group was going nuts.  If I wasn’t with a “guardian angel” I was approached relentlessly.  One particular bozo tried the tactic of rubbing my shoulders (noting my pain in the area beforehand) and then decided to try to sit me on his dick!  Huge shove gave him the hint real quick.  Even when lifestyles left, I was very uncomfortable with the number of single guys that obviously wanted to get laid and these are ones that don’t get laid on a regular basis and come to Hedo just for that.

Second eye-opening factor:  women with issues.  I debated putting this in the trip report, but felt it needed to be addressed.  Ladies with husbands/boyfriends, have the talk with your mate and get everything ironed out BEFORE YOU COME TO HEDO.  I and several other women had the unfortunate experience of having a woman think we were after her man.  Deal with your insecurities at home.  I didn’t come to Hedo to wreck a relationship or screw your guy.

Third eye-opening factor:  rudeness to the staff.  I saw several people being quite rude with members of the staff that are quite legendary at Hedo.  Kindness and friendliness goes a long way with the staff and is appreciated, especially for the bartenders at the nude pool.  I fell in love with Delroy and wanted to take him home.  He was always very, very kind to me.  But, could you imagine his job?  To him, many of us are quite indistinguishable due to the lack of swimsuits and everyone being in the flesh.  Be patient with the bartenders.

THE STAFF

If the management at Hedo does read the trip reports, there are several staff members that made my trip especially enjoyable.  ROSE, the entertainment coordinator, is an absolute doll.  MARCIA and her attitude made me remark “you go girl” several times.  Only she could call a guy a son of a bitch and an asshole and get him to come running.  PAULETTE at the bar on the prude side (near the disco) is wonderful.  What a friendly, kind, warm-hearted woman.  I’m sorry that I did not get a chance to tip her as she was off the day I was leaving.  I also fell in love with ROBERT at the grill.  Another one with a wonderful warm heart and a beautiful smile.  DAVE, the entertainment coordinator, thank you for “rescuing me” one night.  I “used” him to make small talk to get rid of a guy that had actually sneaked onto the resort.  Sorry I interrupted your game honey.  CHARLIE at the main dining room, I really enjoyed your joyful singing in the morning at breakfast.  You always started my day out right.  I don’t remember her name (shame on me), but the BAR MANAGER at the dining room is fantastic at her job.  She always took good care of me as well.  DAVE at VERONICA’S:  he is a highly intuitive gentleman (and a horn dog, but I’ll forgive him that!).  I have been singing all my life and one of my fantasies has been to sing in a piano bar.  I sang one of the first nights there before I lost my voice.  Even though I lost it later in the trip, he made me come up every single night he was working to sing (I didn’t make requests after I lost my voice; thank you to those who tolerated my Peter Brady voice).  The night before I left, I got up and sang “Summertime” and it came from somewhere deep inside.  How did he know it would come out?  Thank you, thank you, thank you Dave for always encouraging me.  The guitar player with the gold teeth (no name tag).  He sang “No woman, no cry” directly to me when I was on the bus leaving and I was so, so touched (and in tears).  BROWN the bus driver:  thank you for all the info on the way back and THANK YOU FOR THE POTTY BREAK!  ELAINE at the spa.  I was fortunate to get two massages during my trip.  The first one, the build up came out and I was sobbing.  She did a wonderful job.  And yes, I will let the management at Hedo know separately my appreciation.

THANK YOU’s

I’m sure I’ll leave somebody out so I’ll apologize in advance.  DAVE & JODY:  Dave, if you were my teacher, I would have had a crush on you!  Jody, thank you for coming right up to me and counseling me and giving me encouragement to go through treatment and what I can expect.  I’m glad you’re in the next state.  I’m gonna need you sister!  ED & LINNA:  Linna, I love you too for remembering the posts and the hugs and encouragement that I can get through all that I have ahead of me.  FRANK & TIFFANY:  Tiff, I’m gonna come out and play!  People thinking I was you was a huge compliment.  Frank, I could hug you forever and that laff of yours!  I wanna see that house!  I have your straw on my desk in my mug at work.  ROB & DEBBIE:  Rob, you are my evil twin brother!  Debbie, you have the most wonderful, warm, kind heart.  Rob, you are a very lucky man.  I plan on coming out so get the pool ready and we’ll run around nekkid!  PAUL & KAREN:  Thank you for getting me home safely on Friday night.  Karen, you have a beautiful voice and I hope someday I have half as much talent as you.  FRANK G:  Thank you for being a “guardian angel” and being my psychologist one night and hearing all that I had to let out during my trip.  I have issues.  Thank you for listening to them.  You could definitely be a counselor and should consider it.

DENNY

He made my trip possible.  Words will never, ever be able to express my appreciation to this wonderful man.  Honey, you have a special place in heaven for making this trip happen while I’m still healthy.  I am forever in your gratitude.

For those of you that asked, I do plan on going back to Hedo.  Italy is next, but back to Jamaica next summer!