First of all, I do not intend to attempt to keep this in any kind of chronological order. We go to Hedo to escape televisions, news, world affairs, time, schedules and most of all, documentation of any kind. Well, those are some of the reasons, the "help me restore my sanity" reasons. Then there is the drinking, sex, drugs, sex, sleeping on the beach, sex on the beach, partying in the hot tub, sex in the hot tub. There is a theme developing here, I believe. My disclaimer, these are my recollections to the best of my memory, which may have been impaired.

I don’t intend to critique the airline industry, you just about have to fly to go to Jamaica, everyone is anxious to get there, so the flight generally sucks. Enough said about flying. Once we entered immigration, and the Immigrations Agent checked our passports, he smiled and welcomed us back home. Now the trip is getting better. On our way through the airport to get to Air Negril, we were approached by at least 6 or 7 people who told us, if we needed anything at all, they were the man. Now we knew we were back home.

This year we booked for eleven days, main reason being that you lose one day due to check-in and the last day due to travel. About check-in, as expected, the room we paid for ocean view au natural was not available. Here we go to the PRUDE SIDE Ocean View, welcome back to Hedo. I must say Prude Side ocean view is much better than the nude side view. Management corrected it the next day after we went back up to the lobby and had them put us on the proper list. When we arrived it was interesting to see that they had purchased state of the art computers for the resort but were still running around with the same pads of paper. My wife and I are convinced that Y2K will not be a problem at Hedo! One last thing while I make my last rants about the check-in procedure, has anyone else noticed how smooth your check-out is on the last day?

The upside to being in two different rooms would be that my wife, now referred to as the woman Kim, is a real pervert, for a photo opportunity, using the flowers they leave on your bed. This is what they are for, right? She is as sick and twisted as I am, and that is why I love her so much.

Okay, now we are settled, everyone breathe easy now, relax. THE PARTY STARTS! This is also where my days start to run together, oh well.

Actually, I am going to back up a little bit, to when we arrived. It was about 3:00pm, we went straight to the dining room bar, got 4 vodka slush’s, and I took off my tennis shoes and socks, shirt and threw them on the ground beside our table. You can’t do this at a Hilton without being asked to leave. I know this to be a fact. As we are enjoying our drinks, in struts this beautiful, loud mouthed, gorgeous woman in a thong who stops at our table and laughingly says, " this isn’t your first time here, is it?" I knew instantly that this was the Shaka, the one that I had read about on the Internet. We introduced ourselves, from this point on she never forgot our names. I told her how exquisite I thought she was and explained that I had spent the last year hearing stories about how sexy and funny Tavis was the previous year, from my wife. I then told her that I thought the replacement was excellent and I was glad he was gone! She agreed. New friend, Ha Ha. She told us that Tavis would be back the following week, that he was at a lifestyles convention in South America, Kim I hated it for you, HeHe.

We went down 3 days before WWW started because we also wanted to see if the lifestyles group really had more fun. In all honesty, we could not see any difference while we were there.

The sex police were in full force throughout our time there, which was disappointing to us. We were participating in a 5 couple contest early one evening when the sex police decided to stop our fun. Actually there was another couple across the tub from us but we had to disqualify her because she was receiving rather than giving, unfair to the others. I thought we were very close to having a winner, maybe next time. I am sure we will be able to encourage those young ladies to give it another try. There were some real athletes in the group, the techniques and skills used were very impressive. The policing was amusing, the afternoon activities were tolerated, while evening rules forced us to move to the jetty. What a great place, the jetty!

We tried to get our dead asses up and going as early as possible this year to stake out our place on the beach. July it turns out is a little more damp than other times of the year, so to be able to get our time in the sun, you needed to be out there early in the morning hours. The afternoon brought in overcast skies and usually some rain, if not for several hours. We found the rain to be very conducive to drinking and partying, in general. This year the sand gravity was more intense than ever, the jetty became our island by the weeks end. Most days, we spent the entire day on the beach unless the rain washed us into the pool, by the bar.

Most Jettyites were following this pattern by the end of the trip, even Chris and Shelly, though they were shade tree beach people. I got to tell you Shelly, there is not much shade from those trees or did your sunburn give it away. Others in this group were Danny the Drummer and his girlfriend Carmen. Richard the single guy (not really single, his wife hates the beach) was the real sun worshipper. Dawn to sunset, everyday he was on the beach.

Several days Danny allowed him to be in charge of the sun but he usually fucked it up and then we would have to praise JA and smoke herbal concoctions for its return. This may have been when Damian got his nickname of Stoneface. He and his beautiful wife Robin were regular Jettyites, when they weren’t making trips to the room for other pleasures. The Gums (Glenn and Lucy) were there almost every day. In the race for skin cancer, Lucy could spend just a few hours a day on the beach and kick everybody’s ass for best tan! Glenn doesn’t lounge in the Sun. He wades like he’s standing in a kiddy pool, shading the rest of us, the bastard! Some people just don’t get it! John and Ellen were also early on the beach each morning. John also appreciates a great cup of coffee, on a beautiful Jamaican beach in the early hours. NOTE: don’t look down the neck of the Milk pitcher on the coffee bar at the beach, it is very scary.

On a day following Gum’s excellent adventure to town, someone had purchased an abundance of cakes. I must say that this added a new perspective to Sand Gravity until Glenn decided to pull me off of the lounger into the fierce surf. I could have been washed away, now you kids straighten up, someone could have been hurt!

I have a feeling Bob and Beth would have become Jettyites had they not had their vacation cut short by a birthday boy at home. What great people, Bob took piercing to a new extreme with all vital areas double pierced, what a show off. I told Beth that Bob reminded me of Dustin Hoffman with his accent, and facial expressions. She made me promise not to tell him, for fear it would encourage him. One rainy afternoon we killed some of the doldrums by watching Bob pierce Craig’s nipple and ear. I was the encore with Beth piercing my ear. Nothing fell off, haven’t checked with Lyn and Craig, but it appeared to be a success.

Kim and I referred to Steph and Boomer as the late afternoon beach people. Those two must have slept about 17 hours a day, but when they were there, it was in full force. We think Boomer might have required more sleep due to oxygen depravation, he was usually trying to breathe through that little pipe. He may have just needed a bigger pipe!

One of my favorite activities was when the boats stopped off he jetty for the voyeurs. We would charge the point of the jetty and scream out to the boats, "You men stay on the boat but send in your bitches, we need more women". The looks on their faces was wonderful, and I not sure but I think I seen a few women ponder the offer.

We finally were able to meet Hedo Barb and Hedo Tom, fellow beach slugs, and fellow Hoosiers. Tom the snorkler, I’m not sure what he was snorkling for but it looked Interesting. We also enjoyed watching Barb running up and down the beach trying to get her kite off the ground while her breasts bounced up and down. Thanks Barb, maybe that was the gin talkin’?

Mel and Waymon, these two were like kids in a candy store, by the end of the week Mel was still rollin’ and Waymon was crawlin’! Don and Sherry, two other hedo virgins, they have already e-mailed us and are returning next year. It was fun for us to see people go through the same metamorphous that we did last year, regarding Hedo. There are so many people that we met and didn’t mention in our trip report, please forgive us. Your are in our thoughts each and every day. There is rarely a day goes by, where Kim and I fail to reflect on someone we met at Hedo.

Thanks to Glenn and Lucy for organizing yet another trip to town which included a stop at Margaritaville. Dirty Mangos and topless women on a trampoline, another great day! I can’t help but laugh thinking about when we met in the lobby that day to go on this trip. Shaunda had brought some nipple cream which was guaranteed to keep your nipples hard. Kim has this nipple disorder, applied some on hers, without results. While Shaunda was explaining how it worked to every one, she also mentioned that you could use it on men. I don’t miss a cue very often and pulled it out of my pants, tapped her on the shoulder, and when she turned around asked her if she would rub some on me. Another priceless look, she wouldn’t do it, laughed my ass off though!

One of the things we loved doing was getting up early and going to the beach, if I could make one recommendation to everybody, it would be, do this at least once. It also makes for a great opportunity to take photos in places, which are normally overrun. My favorite spot for perverted photos is behind the dive shack, a shower with wonderful background

The event that we love the most is definitely the PJ party. My lovely wife and myself decided to try the bondage look this year, with a twist. We applied about a Jar of Glitter to each other, that is a whole story in itself. I wore a glitter mesh thong complete with collar. Kim wore a Thong and Top with chains across the breasts and crotch. I felt so pretty! Following this evening I was referred to as Glitter Boy. I had a lot of fun applying glitter to the ladies in the disco who admired our shimmer. It was very close quarters in the disco and by the end of the evening you could definitely point out which sweaty asses, Kim and I, had inadvertently rubbed while dancing. Okay, some were intentional but we were never caught. I had to get glitter on the preacher’s wife’s ass! Travis, I know I’m a pervert. We ended up placing 3^rd in the Bondage class but had long abandoned the HEAT of the disco for cooler air. Our glitter was starting to run! We really didn’t need a bottle of over proof Rum anyway. We did shower before we went to the hot tub, but we noticed a lot of other people sparkling while in the hot tub.

Back to Travis and Lisa, (the Preacher and his beautiful wife), we had dinner with them on two occasions and thoroughly enjoyed it. In response to your post on the message board, we felt very comfortable when you and Lisa were around us. Thank you for tolerating our questions and I had no intentions of wanting to offend you, and hope that we did not. I admire you for doing what you want to do and understanding that there is no shame in that. At first I felt sorry for you, that you can’t tell everyone how you like to spend your vacation. After I thought about it, I realized that while we don’t try to keep it a secret, we still have friends who don’t understand it. Pity the poor souls.

The Denny Roast. I told everyone earlier that we had no intention of adhering to schedules and unfortunately we arrived for this, as it was ending. I will take the time now to publicly acknowledge what I think is an outstanding job, not to mention an overwhelming undertaking of work. I know I would not consider taking the time out of my life to do what Denny does as a benefit for friends and those who pass through, on the net. It is obviously a labor of love for him, which we all benefit from immensely. Thank you so much Denny.

Some people refer to Hedo as an adult summer camp. When I think about what kept us going in younger years, it was the spring breaks, the parties, and the fun things in life. Why shouldn’t we, as adults, have something to live for and keep us excited in the day to day drudgery of mundane living? People need their Hedo to keep things in perspective as to what is important and what is not. Having fun and enjoying life, making new friendships, maintaining old friendships. That’s what is really important.

I could go on forever talking about our favorite vacation spot, but I am afraid that people are shouting "Stop, Stop", no that’s the woman Kim. I hope you enjoyed our musings and ramblings, see you next time at Hedo.

Jeff & Kim