Summer 1999 WWW Trip Report Glen Clark
Without a couple of minor potholes, Summer WWW 1999 was a raging success. Thanks again to Dennyp for pulling this together!!! Great Job.
Arriving at 6:30am on Saturday morning I had prepared myself for at least a couple hour wait for a room. I was amazed when I was crashed in my room (21'69', oh behave!) within 15 minutes. The new computerized check in system is a great improvement.
Days were spent naked on the shoals of the little cove looking over the bay. Relaxing enough to have read the three books I had brought with me and wishing I had brought one or two more.
The nightly entertainment was truly amazing. Highlights were the Friday night show that included a contortionist. Costumed in a clown suite and mask it was difficult to tell if it was a man or puppet. It was astounding to see this heap of rags that had been twisted and pushed around transform into a very lean willowy rasta-man. One of the best performances I have seen in a while.
By far the most comedy I've seen in a long time was the most serious event I've seen Hedonism put on. Wednesday night, after a fairly successful (if not wet) Island Picnic (those of you who have experienced an Island Picnic know what I mean, for those who have not, vision a naked "Animal House" on rum punch) Hedonism put on their first art auction. This guy was for real, with art from $45 to several thousand dollars. I laughed so hard inside I had to leave half way through. It truly was 'comedy absurd'. Super-Club should leave this for the Grand Lido.
As usual the best was saved for last as Friday night Dennyp, the Baron, others from the WWW group and this fabulous soprano from some where in Texas filled Dave's piano bar (aka Veronicas) with song, laughter and rounds of flaming Bob Marley's until almost 2:am. (Baron, you should really learn some Barry White, you could pull it off! Your Otis Redding is already fantastic).
After another round or two in the disco I spent my last nigh wondering the campus singing old Irish pub songs (which had started in the bar). Had there been any Guinness I would have been in heaven.
All was not pure delight in paradise however. I developed some sort of food reaction Monday that left my head in the head for several hours. No sooner had I recovered from that I had an allergic reaction to something in the waffles (prime suspect) that landed me in the local medical facilities. Two shots and $150 later I was released after a couple of hours. But this is the tropics so of course later that night the sites of the injections either became septic or popped a vessel. By 3:am one side of my backside was the color of robins' eggs and burned like hell. Determined to wait until breakfast I slept the rest of the night in the window seat in my room. I've slept on softer floors compared to the bed in my room. By morning all had cleared and I was back to my spot on the beach.
One final note. As Augustus said to the League of Bachelors of Rome in 36 B.C. ".... Get off your asses and get married ...". Compared to the New Years crowd, there were few if any unaccompanied ladies. To be fair the Vennie count was also radically reduced. The most of the Wallies were on glass bottom boats that prowled the cove. My suggestion is that we use the old Mardi Gras line and as they pass, everyone on the nude beach shouts "Show us your tits! (or dicks as appropriated)".
Alas, reviewing my schedule I will not be back for approximately 18 months, the winter WWW 2000. In the mean time it is my greatest hope to find, bed and wed (or some order like that) an impressionable young thing that could join our growing family. So any ladies out there or people who know ladies, I like petite (scrawny, flat chested) women, ballerina types. Must be willing to move to Seattle (sorry) and enjoy all the pleasures that Hedonism has to offer.
P.S. There is always a story or two after you close a letter. Just as I was waiting to leave on Saturday the 1:pm bus rolled up with a gang of pure Vinnie concentrate. "Yousa, Rick, gets me a vodka and cran .... Oooohhhh Marty would yas look at that pair there! I told yous guys this was going be great."
In the Air Jamaica check in line at Hedonism (a GREAT service by the way, compared to the mob scene at Mo Bay air port) one guy tells his friend that if Mark and Shaka (entertainment coordinators) were to leave that Hedo would close in 4, 6 months max. "They are this place. They leave and it is all over. Its really scary you know." I just sat there and listened and wondered how many Mark's and how many Shaka's there have been over the years, and how many young Jamaican kids are out there today yearning to fill the roles in time.
If I have any concerns for Hedonism-II it comes from Hedonism-III. It will be interesting to see how that resort will be positioned. Will it be a Hedo-Couples or perhaps a Hedo-Lido? Will Hedonism-II become an overflow resort, or perhaps become more party oriented (party with a capital P). No matter what, warm sweet Caribbean breezes will continue to caress the little cove over looking the bay.
Kiss the ocean for me.