John - March, 2013

We just returned from 10 days at N Resort after just visiting Hedo one year ago.  N Resort reminds me of Hedo in the early 1990s before it spiraled out of control.  You basically have a group of naked people getting crazy in the sun and that's about it.  There's lots going on, but it's not an all-night orgy like Hedo has turned into.  I am not slamming Hedo because there are obviously a lot of people who want a sex party and to swing and be a voyeur all night.  It's just not what I want to do on my vacation.  If you just want to relax naked and enjoy your own wife, go to N.  My wife loved N.  That means we get to go back!!!

 

The resort is only about 30-45 minutes away from MBJ by a very good highway.  Check-in was uneventful.  At our request, the resort changed our room to oceanfront.  We had the beach about 25' from our balcony.  A daybed is provided outside the door if you want to sit on the balcony.  The room itself shows its age, but it was very clean, the bed was comfortable, everything worked and we had plenty of hot water and the A/C looked about like new.  No porn on the TV but the TV did work with a number of channels (we spent little time in the room anyway).  We were only about 50' from the dining room and entertainment area, but this was not a noise problem since most of the time we were in that area any time something was going on.  As for the facilities, I could see a lot of fresh wood and new concrete, and they renovated one of the hot tubs while we were there.  The groundskeepers do an excellent job.  N could still use some more renovation, but we are low-maintenance people and we had no issues at all.  Actually just a good power-washing might eliminate about 75% of the appearance problems, since they get a good amount of salt spray all over everything.

 

N Resort is entirely C/O.  This means you can be naked anywhere, including the main dining room.  There is no "nude" or "prude," which means that clothes basically are a non-issue.  Although a lot of people do dress for dinner, a lot of people don't, too.  Yeah, me too!  Clothes are okay if you want and sometimes are sort of necessary if there is a cold snap and a stiff breeze.  Interestingly, N provides towels for you to sit on in any restaurant and they enforce that rule very strictly, so it was definitely better hygiene than what I saw at Hedo last year.

 

You can also be naked OFF the property.  There is a completely undeveloped and postcard-pretty beach just west of the resort and you can take nude walks literally for miles.  The only limit to this is that the cruise lines coming into Falmouth also use the beach for their excursions.  You can see them far away and either take something to cover up or time your walk for when they aren't there and not even bother with a coverup.  If the cruise people aren't there, they have cleared a really nice place to swim.  In fact, you can even take a nude walk EAST of the resort for about 1/4 of a mile, and that's a nice beach, too.  However, there is a textile hotel there that is currently under renovation and that nude walk will only last until their renovations are complete.

 

The guests are a lot different from what we experienced at Hedo.  It is couples-only and they don't allow open sex.  Perhaps because there is no sexual pressure and perhaps because N Resort is so much smaller, it seemed like people were a lot more friendly and open.  We met and talked with so many people I kind of lost track.  We ended up making close friends with several couples.  By my count in the dining room (admittedly not too accurate), occupancy ranged from about 40 couples down to 20 and then back up to 30-35 again by the time we left.  This was a very comfortable size for the guests, because no one was crowded and yet it still seemed fairly busy.  Certainly the hot tubs stayed full.  Interestingly, I'd bet that 2/3 of the guests were repeat visitors, which I think is a pretty good advertisement for the resort, considering it's only been N Resort for what, 3 years?  We will be repeat visitors next year . . . can't wait.

 

If you like non-sexual activities, this is the place.  They have a chalkboard with the day's activities, and the majority of them actually happened.  I played pool volleyball at least once a day and sometimes twice.  Sometimes we had 8 people on each side, it is that popular.  The waterslide is equivalent to Hedo's but runs all the time without needing an attendant.  You do a good slide and the audience cheers.  They also have silly poolside games that are good for some laughs.  The goat racing was a hoot.  This is a really lighthearted place.

 

*  Food in general was much better than Hedo's, although they don't serve lobster except as an ingredient in some dishes.  Breakfast is a buffet like Hedo, lunch is in the beach grill with the usual beach grill food, plus you can order the lunch special or get salad.  Their snapper or grouper was outstanding.  For supper, usually you order from a menu with waiter service.  The portions weren't huge but they were mostly cooked to order and served with a lot of style.  If you didn't get enough, you can order more.  Some nights they open the Italian restaurant AND the main dining room, and other nights they only open the Italian restaurant.  The Italian restaurant was "okay" but Hedo's Italian place is quite a bit better.  On Saturdays, N puts out a buffet of Jamaican food that was really, really good.

 

We are not big drinkers, so I couldn't say much about the drinks one way or another.  What I drank seemed about the same as Hedo.  They do some crazy drinks for people if you ask, although you won't see body shots like at Hedo.  It's just not that kind of place.

 

We liked the entertainment.  They bring in different musicians every night and they play nice music that doesn't assault your eardrums like at Hedo.  Usually they have some sort of game to play as well.  After the evening entertainment, you can go to the piano bar or the hot tub.  There is also a disco but I don't think anyone used it at all.  The piano bar was fun but it lacks one thing:  a bar!  They have waiters to bring drinks but it's a bit slow.  Also, they don't really promote the piano bar like they should.  The pianist plays well and is a lot of fun to kid around with.  Since the number of users is so small, you can get him to play your own requests and everyone sings along.  No one has sex on the piano.

 

We were very happy with the staff.  Within a couple of days they (and all the guests) know you by name.  I also thought the Hedo staff was very good but it is hard to compete with N because there are so many staff members relative to the number of guests.  Everyone is very helpful.  At breakfast I tend to want to help myself to coffee and I was told to sit down, sir, we are getting the coffee for you right now!  And you will not have trouble finding the ECs at N Resort.  These guys are always available and do extra things for you, like showing you where to do your nude walk or how to play bocce ball, and they also play volleyball along with the guests in order to even out the teams.

 

One complaint is with watersports.  N does not offer scuba, and although they have some boats, nobody used them.  This was because of the high wind that was blowing during most of the trip.  Also, N has a glass bottom boat that could be used for snorkeling.  It looks like a pretty nice boat, but it lacks a motor, and apparently has not run for quite a while.  To me that was an irritation because they advertise the boat to entice you but it just sits there and teases you.  They either ought to fix it or get it off the premises and take it out of their advertising.

 

 John