Ray - April, 2012
Trip report Hedo 2 April 12
to April 29 2012,
Trip number 4
We arrived at Hedo at 11:34 PM on the 12th. The flight was delayed by 3 hours, in Toronto, first by a mechanical failure then a medical emergency, but Westjet did get us there in time for the midnight buffet.
Getting in that late, there were no other passengers from other flights at the airport. We breezed through immigration, and cleared the Super Clubs lounge at 22:15. Super Clubs signed us in then kicked us out of the lounge to wait for our ride (they closed for the night). About 10 minutes later we were escorted to a van and four of us headed for Hedo. We arrived at Hedo at 23:38. It’s erie driving at night on the other side of the road.
Check in was quick. A package was waiting for us at the lobby, with two keys and towel cards, the bellman escorted us to our room, luggage in tow. Room 2160 is in the block of rooms just down from the fitness facility. We found this room was central and the sound from the disco wasn't as bad as we had expected. We slept great every night
We hit the midnight buffet for a burger and some fries (there is not a lot of selection here). Kay, the EC joined us at the table, and welcomed us to the resort. After the snack, we headed for the Piano Bar and the nude pool, just to check out the place. We were still in our travel clothes and had been awake since 03:00 AM and were exhausted. Yup the tub was busy, we headed for bed at 01:45.
We went to breakfast about 08:00 on April 13. The wife had an omelet, I had cornflakes, but there is no shortage of options.
Eggs made to order from two different stations. Omelets built to order. Your choice of bacon, ham, or sausages to go with your eggs. Also available was pancakes (tasted pland), and French toast which was tough and leathery, probably from sitting in the warmers. Plenty of fruit, peaches, pears, apricots, and pineapple. Also, three types of melon were available, and prunes. Toast is available with white or brown bread, and bagels. Also available are breakfast cereals, however the available milk was at room temperature. It wasn't a problem for us, but after the first morning, we never had it again.
There is really nothing to complain about, at breakfast, there is something for everyone.
After breakfast we headed for the nude beach to claim a beach lounger. Lots to choose from, and even some pool loungers were available at 10:00AM. The second week however, the pool loungers were reserved before 08:00 AM.
For lunch on the first full day, we headed back to the main dining room. Plenty of choices for dining, from fruits and veggies, to burgers and chicken. Again, nothing to complain about, all was good.
We didn’t spend many lunch breaks in the main dining area, preferring to eat at the beach grill.
Dinner was ample, with lots of choices. Pork, Chicken, Pasta (made to order) and shrimp. The salad bar was well stocked, and could provide a meal unto itself. This was a “Gala” night, but it really wasn’t that much different from other nights. Lamb was available as was beef. Plenty of pastries for dessert, and something that passes for soft ice cream..
The menu didn’t change much over the next 17 days, but we still managed too eat too much.
By day 4 we had amassed 3 bottles of Rum, with 4 more coming in the next 12 days. The wife won the first one for the day time spin “Wet T Shirt contest” on day two.
I must say that I don’t take bribes, but as a wet T shirt judge, I’d like to say thanks’ to all the participants that attempted to bribe me, by rubbing my nose between their breasts, or doing a lap dance!
The first weeks routine was; up at 07:00, reserve the beach lounge chairs, breakfast at 08:00, then down to the beach till lunch. Lunch was mostly at the nude or prude grill, then into the pool for fun and games. At 16:00 hrs off to the room for a nap and prep for the evening.
There was a constant lineup at the nude grill for food around lunch time, so we would often just walk down to the prude grill, and eat lunch there. The wife was told to cover her breasts (she was already covered from the waist down ) while in the grill area.
The prude side had more people than I have normally seen, from fully covered to fully nude, the mix seemed equal.
Butt cracks arrived en mass on April 14, and the party was on. We really enjoyed the Hien-licken party and the parade over to Sandals on Thursday and the Champagne party that followed.
We only managed to piss off one old lady at Sandals, all the rest of the guests laughed along with the parade. That old lady claimed we made her lose her appetite.
The Butt crack welcome party at the piano bar, was well attended, and the food spread was great. It looked like they had quite a mountain of school supplies.
We had brought three suitcases with us, one small (for school supplies) and two large, for costumes et-al. The thought was we could put one suitcase inside the other on the return trip. We carefully weight our cases before leaving home, so we would be under the 50 lb limit per bag on the return trip. We paid extra for the third bag, on the way down.
What we hadn’t factored in was the 5 bottles of Rum, returning with us.
Westjet still allows the first checked bag free, there after it’s $20.00.
On the return trip, each suitcase weight 49.5 pounds, and carry on was 17.9, and they even weighted the carry on at the airport. We always carry a portable scale with us to help us balance the load, good thing this time.
Camera’s seemed to be less this year, although tablets where up (and they have camera’s built in). Even in the dining room the amount of flashes going off seemed less this year.
On Friday (April 20) there was a nude pool side, banana eating contest for women. Winston specifically said no cameras (he shouldn’t even had to say anything, it is posted, no photography). Not everyone listened, and someone pulled out there smartphone and took a picture. When Winston asked for the phone, the user beat a hasty exit.
Winston sent “50” (Wayne the EC) after him, and he soon returned with the cell phone, no word on the condition of the photographer.
“50” for those that don’t know, is a well built, physically fit athlete, to say the least. He works out hard, 2 hours a day, 4 days a week, and it shows.
Our second week, was with Biffs Bunch. As well there were about 4 other groups in the house (Hedo Mojo, Mary Ellyn Spring Break, Swingers Break, Swinging Atlanta, I think), at the same time. The weekend of April 21, was a sell out, with people being bumped over to Breezes.
There was a sponsored DJ at the nude pool (Mark) from about noon to 15:00 hrs. Mark at least adjusted his output (volume and tunes) to match the wishes of the people in the pool. He also took requests and actually played them.
The Umbrella (Hedo Events) group for four other groups organized their own DJ, and he was LOUD. He played from 15:00 to 18:00 hours at the nude pool. He was so loud that people migrated to the prude pool because they couldn’t hear themselves talking. I assume the music appealed to someone, because there were people in the pool still. We were on the beach and could hear the music clearly.
On Sunday evening (April 22) the Hedo Events DJ put on a show at the Prude pool after 22:00 hrs. The staff had the pool area all decked out and it looked pretty sharp. There was also a laser projector which added an interesting effect, and video displays. While there were a lot of people milling around, I didn’t see any one dancing, but then we didn’t stay long as the music was very loud, and not our style. The music could be heard from the Hot Tub.
Monday (April 23) the Hedo Events people moved the party to the prude beach, and included performers tossing flaming batons around. Again we didn’t see anyone dancing (I even checked the pictures I took), but I wasn’t there for more than 15 minutes.
Hedo Events also sponsored events in the disco, that were well attended, with lots of people on the dance floor.
We didn’t have any problems with any of the Hedo Events, groups.
Some younger people though, did have trouble complying with the Hedo rules, like no smoking in the dining room (even after the EC mentioned he take it outside), and PJ’s only in the disco on PJ night (even though the door guard told him to take his t-shirt off at least).
This was a younger group and mostly kept to themselves, and didn’t socialize with us repeaters. Although I never felt excluded from anything, or slighted, there just wasn’t that Hedo bond.
I must say though that we did meet some really nice people that simply took advantage of these groups simply to get the group booking rates.
On April 25 there was another sponsored party event at the prude pool by Mark the DJ, again we didn’t see a lot of dancing. The FX was good, with the projection TV and all.
Near the end of the first week, there had been a storm at sea (in the gulf?), and the surf was significant at the beach. Water sports posted a red flag (April 21) for two days, then down graded it to yellow on the third. Day 4 we were back to green.
The beach was just about unusable because of all the sea weed washed up, and it took the grounds crew about two [Jamaican] days to bury it. The Tuesday Catamaran cruise was postponed till Wednesday because of rough water. It was very winding on the beach, which is dangerous as you don’t realize the UV is still baking your skin. Those we spoke to that took the cruise were happy with it. We took the cruise with Biff’s Bunch, the following week.
Towards the middle of the second week the crowd seemed to thin out, the DJ was gone, and the Zoo Krew was stepping into the Limelight. The hot tub was not as crowded at night, as it had been earlier in the week.
Biffs Bunch catamaran cruise was great. They took us to a reef, away from the other snorkelers from other resorts so we could snorkel nude. The reef was just a few inches below the surface, and with the swells you could actually touch the coral if you were not careful. Next up was the caves, this year there were two kids jumping from the top of the cliffs, then scaling the cliff face, bare foot and jumping again. After a few jumps they came over to the boat for cash rewards.
On the return trip the captain noticed a flock of birds over a patch of ocean, he turned the cat in that direction, and lowered 4 fishing lines. I was told that when you see that many birds over a patch of ocean, it’s either tuna or porpoise. I guess they thought they’d try for dinner, but they caught nothing.
We hit the piano bar several times. The vibe was hit or miss. If you had several good singers and Mike new the song then it was a hoot. Otherwise, the place was empty. He just doesn’t have the ability to mesh with the audience, and tends to be a solo performer. He’s not a good fit for Hedo, probably because he isn’t raunchy enough, although he is very talented on the keyboard. He did use the “F” word several times, but still, it didn’t go over well.
We only ever walked through the disco a couple of times, but each time it was well attended, although we noted several women covering their ears to reduce the volume levels.
On Karaoke nights, Mark (the DJ) had computerized Jeopardy and Family feud, for adults.
I thought this was a great idea and he seemed to get the desired reactions from the audience and participants. He plugged his laptop into the large screen TV in the piano bar and used it as the display terminal.
I walked the beach one morning and discovered a free Internet café, just past the Beaches resort. You did have to buy a beer, but it is free Internet. They also advertised lobster for $20.00.
During the second week there was also a Sand Sculpture-ess doing her thing. She made some interesting sculptures on the beach.
Sunday, at 10:00 AM we left home for MBJ. It took us 45 minutes to get from the bus to Margurettaville, to wait for our flight. A lot of people headed for the Airport Lounge ($35.00 fee) and the express immigration lines. I wonder how long it took them to get there.
TIP:
Most airlines now have automated check in, and luggage check. There are a set of terminals in the middle of the departures terminal, for which there is a line up. However there are also a set of terminals down by check in counters 99-100, which no one seems to use. They worked just fine, and it allowed us to shave at least 30 – 45 minutes from the check in que. The terminals are generic and cover many different airlines, and you can even select your seats.
Negatives;
-Several days of overcast skies all day as well as rain showers most days.
-No ice at any bar for several hours or half a day. We had to switch from dirty bananas to beer.
-Bathroom door didn’t open fully, because rot on the door jam caused the door to sag.
-Ramp from the fitness center down to the service road has loose and rotten boards.
-Wife took a fall outside the women’s washroom (nude pool) because of slippery paving stones/tiles.
-I took a partial fall outside the fitness center because of slippery tiles.
-Murky water in the hot tub and pool. I mentioned this to Lorna and the next day it was clear.
-The Piano Player. Full of himself, doesn’t play to the audience, and doesn’t know a lot of the songs.
- Only 4 song books remaining, and in poor shape at that.
-Hedo Events DJ, enough said.
-Something biting me on the beach. Never caught the culprit, but I had about 15 bites that swelled to the size of a dime, and itched like hell, lasting several days
-Jelly fish sting.
-Heavy surf on the beach and lots of sea weed.
-Slow cleanup of empty tables during breakfast.
Positives.
-Lots of Bananas for dirty bananas and hummingbirds
-Excellent DJ (Mark), (not the one with Hedo Events).
-Real easy to win rum
-Food in Martinos was excellent (ate there three times), had the beef twice and prawns once.
-YES, you can buy your way into Martinos, if they have room or there is a cancellation. It’s a stand by thing.
-Food in the Japanese restaurant was good also (two visits). Catered to my allergy of fish.
-The Piano Player is talented, just not people centric.
-Grounds are well maintained.
-Staff is excellent, and helpful. (Someone else’s comment: “We have a 3 star resort, with a 5 star staff!”, true)
-EC’s put a lot of energy into the evening shows, and it is evident, as they (the shows) are all better than they were last year.
-Fogging for mosquito’s.
-The Piano bar, bartender, name escapes me but it began with an E, remembered my drink.
-Very quick registration, considering there was no group TA there (we weren’t part of a travel group although we are members of Butt cracks and Biffs Bunch).
-Lorna made several visits to ask the quests how things were going, she took notes.
-Bar service (wait staff) on the beach, gad, we don’t even have to leave our lounge chairs now, how will we get any exercise, LOL.
- 6 bottles of SP30 sunscreen used, and for once we didn’t burn.
-We found our rock, and refurbished it.
Synopsis;
The resort is tired and needs some work. The roof decorations (those black 1 x 6 protruding from the top) need repairs before they fall on someone. Door jams in the bathroom are rotten, as are the boards on the ramp in front of the fitness center/ Spa.
The rooms are clean as are the bed linens (well at least till we got to them). Bathrooms are small but functional.
All but ten fans have been replaced in the dining room. Not yet replaced (as of April 29 2012); three fans over the band, 2 fans over the stage, and two fans over the dance floor. As well as two fans over by the casino, and one fan near the lobby. The fans make a BIG difference.
AC was fine and ran almost 24/7 in our room, and except for one day we always had hot water (I think timing was the issue here).
Food was excellent, although maybe note 5 star, it was something we were comfortable with.
We had a great time, and discovered that 17 nights wasn’t too much time as we had feared. We interfaced with two different groups, so each week was different. The biggest downer was the air travel.
We met many new friends, (even one that wanted to spank me) and reconnected with many old friends.
A parting thought;
Don’t cry because it’s over, Smile because it happened.
Click on thumbnails below for a larger picture.
