A Desire Fan at Hedo II

After eight years of going to Desire, we decided to see what else is out there. We’d had many conversations with other Desire who told us about trips to Hedonism, so that seemed like the thing to try. So we booked ourselves a week at Hedo II in February, 2012. While the lifestyle at these resorts might be superficially the same to an outsider, there are many differences to someone who’s actually living it.

Disclaimer: Obviously we’re Desire fans. While I’ve tried to be objective in my observations, any conclusions obviously involve our own preferences.

There are a lot of differences; some of these are just that, without one being better than the other, while in some aspects one resort is clearly better than the other.

The Resort

There are huge differences between the resorts themselves. Start with the fact that at full capacity, Hedo is host to more than twice as big as Desire. With a larger facility, more guests to care for, and presumably a wider diversity in guests (what with the nude vs. prude areas), there are bound to be big differences.

Facilities

At least for the standard rooms, neither resort has anything to brag about. Desire’s rooms are a bit bigger (especially the bathrooms), and many of them have balconies. We especially like those balconies: brushing the wife’s hair out in the fresh air is a simple pleasure. The wife was a big fan of the mirrors on the ceiling.

Hedo provides a lot more drawer space. And while the controls in the shower took us a while to figure out, Hedo has a lot more bathroom vanity space -- but tiny bathrooms, so that it’s difficult even to open the door if somebody else is in there. We heard a couple of complaints from other Hedo guests about wildly inconsistent water temperatures, but we had no such problems.

There’s really no space for a comparison of beach at all. Hedo’s is hands-down superior. Hurricane Wilma decimated Desire’s beach, and destroyed its pier (although the resort is trying various ways of restoring the beach). Hedo’s beach is long and wide (hmmm...), and although its pier is nothing beautiful, at least it’s got one. Oddly, the prude side of the beach has much nicer, softer sand. It should be noted, though, the problem of Hedo’s sea urchins. During our week there, I know of two people who were injured stepping on these in the water. Also, I personally was injured stepping on a small piece of broken glass (I don’t blame the resort for this, it was a freak thing, and easy for a piece of glass to escape notice between cleanups).

Hedo has, well, a lot of pools. Desire has just one (there used to be a second, but nobody ever used it, so they retired it). And Hedo’s nude pool (the only one worth focusing on) has a swim-up bar, a whirlpool, the grotto, and proximity to the hot tub.

But what seems to be a Hedo advantage actually reveals something that is a huge difference between the two resorts. At Hedo, it seems that a lot of people hang out at the (nude) pool and a lot of others are on the beach, while much of the entertainment and activities occur at the “main” pool, a several-minute walk away; but at Desire, the pool is very much the focal point during the day. The result is that at Desire you can vegetate by the pool and at a whim, participate in an activity that’s occurring right there, or just enjoy watching the other guests participate. And your lunch is right there, too. At Hedo, participating in activities or getting a bite to eat is much more of a conscious action (see below for why eating at the nude beach grill isn’t an option).

Hedonism has a piano bar, which was the place for a lot of fun and partying. This turned out to be a favorite for us. And unfortunately Desire has nothing like this: big advantage to Hedo. On the other hand, while Desire’s disco is a focus for night time activity, the Hedo disco is all but unusable because of its lack of air conditioning, and I don’t think that many people actually went there.

Desire has a couple of places reserved for, ummm, PDAs: the famous “playroom”, and the beds surrounding the hottub. Hedo has no such area, and it’s my understanding that PDAs are against the rules, although those rules are rarely enforced. Enforcement or not, though, the provision of actual beds at Desire is an asset to them.

Hedonism has a bunch of other stuff, like miniature golf and squash courts, that I’m not aware of anyone actually using. One fun difference was Hedo’s waterslide, a feature for which Desire has no response.

Food & Drink

Overall, the quality of Desire’s food is fair to pretty good. At Hedo, it’s fair at best, and frequently poor.

Each resort has a similar pattern: a main buffet restaurant, and two specialty restaurants with putatively higher-quality food. And in each case, the specialties are Japanese and (approximately) Italian. As it turns out, there was only one meal we had at Hedo that we thought was good, and that was at Pastafari.

In the Hedo buffet restaurant, to-order eggs were either burned or raw (and by raw, I mean that even the whites weren’t cooked). Some of the cooks at the pasta station were just glacially slow, to the point that I and other guests simply gave up on getting any pasta. Some foods ran out: I was, for example, told that there were no more bananas -- and I had gotten up early for breakfast.

I’d like to single out the Hedo nude beach grill for special criticism for their slow service and poor handling of orders. For example, after standing in line for over 5 minutes to place an order, I asked for a cheeseburger, and a fried fish for the wife. For some reason the cook didn’t even put the fish onto the grill until after the cheeseburger was done. If I can’t eat lunch with my wife, when we place our orders together, then the service is simply unacceptable.

Not only is the quality of the food better at Desire, but the service is simply in a different class altogether. Aside from the to-order problems mentioned above, Hedo’s wait service leaves a lot to be desired. When sitting down for a meal, a waiter/waitress would show up within a few minutes offering drinks; at Desire, the service would be immediate. And at Desire, they’d be back around frequently to ensure that you’re happy. At Hedo, I think only once was I ever asked if I wanted a drink refill: I would instead have to get up and go stand in line at the bar myself -- and one when I’m there to enjoy socializing with others, having to leave for several minutes really interferes with the experience. (I’ll note that at Pastafari the service was good)

At both resorts, the bar service is good. However, at the pool, Hedo provides ridiculously-small 8oz glasses that are half filled with ice, so to keep up with the heat, I’ve got to pretty much constantly order drink after drink. By contrast, Desire gives respectable-sized glasses with a reasonable amount of ice. PRO TIP: if you’re going to Hedo, bring your own giant cup, so you can get decent-sized servings.

Desire offers waitress service around the pool (Hi, Sylvia!) and at the beach. I believe that at Hedo I saw such a person exactly once, and she didn’t stop to ask if I wanted anything. Drink service as Hedo is non-existent, but good at Desire.

Activities & Entertainment

Both resorts offer a team of activities people whose job it is to make sure that everyone’s having a good time. By and large, they do a great job at both places. However, as noted above, the layout of the resorts makes the efforts of Desire’s staff more effective. Because Desire’s guests are largely gathered at the pool, we can all enjoy the activities -- from bingo to pool volleyball -- without having to decide to go somewhere else to find something going on. At Hedo, the staff does spend time at the (nude) pool, other activities like table tennis were completely a bust because nobody bothers to come.

However, on the entertainment side, Hedo does an absolutely remarkable job. From the evening cabaret shows (where Winston is nothing short of incredible), to Deon’s playing in the piano bar, the efforts at entertaining the guests, and providing an environment that fosters a party atmosphere, is excellent. In contrast, Desire’s trucked-in performers are nice, but not at the same level (noting that Desire has been consistently improving for years).

The Environment

The facilities are just the means to enabling enjoyment of guests. The real reason for being at either resort (at least as we see it) is the social atmosphere.

Guests

The attitudes of the guests may be the most important difference, but it’s also the most difficult to assess. For one thing, it’s rather ephemeral, but also, we were only there for one single week, which may not be representative (especially since we were there with a mega-takeover by the Fluffernutters). Nevertheless, since I do think it’s important, I’ll risk putting my foot into my mouth and try making some observations.

Desire’s guests tend to fall into three groups: active pool guests, quiet beach guests, and the bar scene. But even amongst the most gregarious of Desire’s guests, the level barely begins to approach that of Hedo’s guess. It seemed to me that any time of the day or night, you’d be able to find some kind of party going on. If you’re a party animal, Hedo is likely the place for you. But we found that after a few days we needed a vacation from our vacation.

Life

The flow of life was different for us was different at Hedo compared to Desire. A few things, like the need to walk up to the main restaurant for lunch, don’t amount to much. But in the evening things diverge quite a bit.

The evening flow at Desire goes like this: afternoon fun at the hot tub; return to room and dress elegantly for dinner. After the meal, relax a bit and dress up for the theme night. Go watch the evening performance, and then go upstairs to disco. Finally, enjoy the hot tub before bed.

At Hedo, the lack of disco a/c, and the fun of the piano bar, drives a very different flow. Since you’re probably not going to the disco to show off your slutwear, this actually happens at dinner. That doesn’t work as well, though, because a) many people are dining at the specialty restaurants, and b) many theme outfits just don’t work well as dinner wear, and in any case leads to a less elegant atmosphere. My preference is for the Desire approach, because it affords more opportunities to show off sexy clothes, and allows a more sophisticated dining experience.

Conclusion

The Fluffernutter crowd at Hedonism was a great bunch, and we’re really glad we had the opportunity to meet and party with them. But overall, we generally preferred the Desire experience. The determining factors were:

•  No-effort entertainment and participation at Desire’s pool.

• Quality of service and food. Although food and facilities isn’t the reason we go to a resort, there are only so many times you can make this excuse before thinking about the hefty price you’ve paid to stay there.

But the conclusion isn’t by a wide margin. I think that in the future we’d still be happy to return to Hedonism, particularly if we were doing it with a great group like the Fluffernutters that we were there with this time: in the end, the friends that you make and keep are really the most important thing.

 

Chris & Cathy