Lori - August, 2011
Happy to be ‘Home’ – August 4-14, 2011
This was our 6th trip to H2, and our longest at 10 days. Our last trip was during Tropical Storm Nicole last year, so we were looking forward to making up for 7 days of rain while cashing in our 4-day Sunshine Guarantee voucher on a portion of this trip. We were not disappointed. The resort was in full swing (hehehe), with very few negatives to report. Rather than a chronological run-down of 10 days, I’ll chunk this report into several different categories.
Flight/Immigration
We flew USA3000 DIRECT from Chicago O’Hare. This is our first time being able to take advantage of a direct flight, as well as our first time on USA3000, which is the Apple Vacations charter line. That is partly what determined the length of our stay, since flights in and out of ORD are only on Sundays and Thursdays. The airline was great, we had paid for their ‘Preferred Perks’, which is only a few bucks more than just picking a seat, includes one checked bag, and put us in the second row of a full plane. We were early, landing in MoBay around 10:40am. Bolting off the plane and knowing the ropes to Immigration and Customs meant we beat the crowd. Immigration took, literally, three minutes. If you can beat the crowd like this, DO IT. We beat the bags onto the carousel, but not by much. A bus to Negril was just being loaded up so we spent about a minute and a half in the Hedo room in the airport and within 20 minutes of landing, were on the road to our favorite place on earth. We were the only couple on the bus not going to Breezes Grand Negril, the bus ride was uneventful, the customary stop (I really wish they’d knock that off) was short, and we were on resort by 12:30. No complaints.
Accommodations
We always book GVP and ask for a discounted upgrade to GVN when we check in. Up until this trip, the front desk has always happily accommodated us in H-block at no charge. This time, they offered to move us with a discount ($35/nt vs the regular charge of $50), but we chose to stay on the prude side anyway, since the other two couples we were meeting there were on that side. We checked in Thursday and by Sunday, we were tired of the distance from everything. We were in 1154, closer to Sandals than to the nude pool. After several groups checked out on Sunday, we asked to move to the GVN and were offered a great discount to move to H-block. It took about 20 minutes to un-unpack 1154 and Chester was speedy-quick to pick up the bags and meet me in H-block at the new room. I didn’t expect the resort to move our bags for us, so that was a nice surprise. The whole switcheroo took less than an hour, including the packing and unpacking. Again, no complaints.
Food
This is where I can’t say enough about the changes. Hedo has never been known for the food. I’ve heard people say ‘the food is…fine…but we don’t go for the food anyway.’ I think you can say that now…you go for the food. Executive Chef Joseph Kalyunik has taken the reigns in the H2 kitchen and it shows. His attention to detail resulted in fresher food, tastier sauces, overall really really excellent cuisine.
Having come from H3, many guests were familiar with him, but to us, we immediately saw his presence as uncommon. All our days and nights at this resort over the last 4-5 years and we had never seen the Executive Chef in the dining areas. But Chef Joseph was everywhere, and more than willing to stop and chat with guests, including us. He was engaging, interesting, and always wanting to know how things were going from a guest’s perspective. We saw him everywhere, at the nude grill several times, ducking into the Munasan hut, at the prude grill, and inside of Martinos. His presence in the main dining room was constant. Every single meal saw him perusing the food, communicating with his staff (some who mentioned they really liked his style), and talking with the guests. He said menus are being reviewed, so maybe new selections will begin to appear.
We had a long conversation with him at the repeater’s party on Wednesday night where he gave our group some interesting background information on some of the dishes and promised to share some recipes. He made good on that promise Thursday night when he tracked us down at Martinos, providing copies of his jerk seasoning recipe. He shared his e-mail address with us and offered to send other recipes if we wanted them. Very personable, very knowledgeable, extremely professional…and it showed. Gauging from the way our clothes fit when we got home, I’m thinking I need to be down about another 10 pounds BEFORE we hit the resort next time.
We ate Martinos several times. I’m never impressed with the menu there. But everything was tastier than I’d remembered. I didn’t have to saw through my steak this time. And the a/c is nice and the staff is awesome. Evelyn was only there for a couple of days and then on vacation, Denva and Darryl were always accommodating and friendly. As with everything at Hedo, the people make the difference.
We only ate Munasan once. The portions seemed a little smaller than in the past (NOT a bad thing) and the ‘show’ of Munasan seems to be a thing of the past. The cooks just come out, do their business and leave. I miss having someone throw shrimp at me. But we love the food there. Very tasty.
Once again…no complaints.
Nude Pool
Clean, pools and hot tubs, drinks readily available (H3 Serena joins Delroy and Scumba). It amazes me that with all the people that come and go, Delroy and Scumba still remember everyone. They may not know our names, but their smiles and thumbs up say they remember us. I talked shop with Delroy on his knee injury, since I had a similar issue last year. He said he’s doing well, but has a noticeable limp behind the bar. That doesn’t slow down the drinks though. Such great people.
Agustus was up to his usual tricks. We did read that a day or two after we left he had a terrible fall down the stairs by the pool. We are hoping he’s recuperating. He is one of our favorite staff members. Other than that, Nigel was at the grill, the sound system was lousy as ever, ECs attempted to put together events. Usually something that involved pouring booze on other people and licking it off (lame). There were a couple of blow up dolls floating around. It was fun watching people place them in different positions when they walked by them. PDAs were not as open as other trips, but still there if you looked. Business as usual.
The only complaint about the pool itself was the intensity of the jets in the cold tub. They were bruise-inducing when turned on, and left the water murky and warm when turned off. We asked about them once and were told that they were having issues with the pumps. You just had to be careful getting into that tub.
Here is our one and only true complaint of our visit. In the past, the nude pool has been all nude, all the time. It is not a clothing optional pool/beach. It is a NUDE POOL/BEACH. Last year, we parked it in cover-ups and towels for three minutes and security came over to explain to us how we need to be nude or leave. But this trip, things were different. On multiple occasions throughout our stay, we witnessed people in swimsuits, or even fully dressed, hanging out at the nude pool. Couples and singles, at all times of the day. If the nude beach security guard (someone new that I’d never seen before) was TOLD someone wasn’t nude, she would maybe bother to get off her chair and tell them the rules. On one occasion, two couples had set up camp for a couple of hours, in their resort-ready swimwear, in the first chairs on the nude beach, right in front of the security guard. She clearly had no intention of upholding the rule of the nude beach until someone complained. When she talked to them, they appeared annoyed and took their stuff and left. But by the next day, all four were nude in the pool with the fun people.
By the end of our stay, the practice had become a regular thing. On three different occasions, the clothed guests made us uncomfortable enough (and we heard similar complaints from other nudies), that someone reported to security. I don’t know what has changed there, but it needs to be rectified immediately. Nude means nude. Read the signs as you walk down the beach. It is not an option. When we got our ‘how was your stay’ courtesy call on our last day from Lorna, we made it very clear how things were going at the nude pool. She caught us later and said she had addressed the issue. So hopefully reporting it did some good.
One other quick note, a really annoying guy from next door (a resident at Point Village) creeped through the ocean and spent some quality time in our swim area, blathering on about how lousy Hedo is compared to how great it used to be. We were unaware he wasn’t a guest and were thrilled to see Mr. Kevin Levee himself calmly confront the man and send him packing one morning. He surfaced one more time a few days later, but when nobody would talk to him, he slithered away to his own place. Good riddance. Rumor has it he takes pleasure in posting trash talk on Trip Advisor about H2. We talked briefly with Mr. Levee after the incident and he said someone had reported him and that until then, the resort was unaware this guy existed. Maybe Mr. Levee needs to be in charge of confronting all the un-nudes as well. He was effective!
Watersports and Other Physical Actviity
Since the sinking of the snorkel boat last year, Hedo is sharing snorkel trips on the Breezes boat. This reduces snorkeling to only 2:00 instead of having a morning boat like it used to. We snorkeled three times and each time went to a different reef. One was around the bend at Bloody Bay and was beautiful and teeming with wildlife including spotted rays, a wide variety of fish, lots of coral, and had a couple of small caves that you could swim through. We also took out a kayak several times. Damn things can be really tippy, I’m told. We took the cat cruise twice. In the same visit, if you take it a second time, you get a reduced rate of $30 pp from the regular $50. Those were both a lot of fun. But watch that rum punch. It has more than rum and fruit juice in it. Drink a few rum punches on the catamaran and next thing you know…it’ll be tomorrow.
We frequented the gym for a little while nearly every day. The equipment was in decent shape, the towels plentiful, water cold, and A/C cranked. No complaints. We also spent some time playing tennis with Garfield and/or Mega (who is now a tennis pro). We stayed active, which was nice. See the section on food for explanation. I hate to think how tight our pants would be if we hadn’t gotten some daily exercise.
Entertainment
Winston was gone on vacation and it showed. The ECs were active (but maybe not effective) at the nude pool and lunchtime spin was always fun. The evening shows were…well, I hate to say it, but lame. Super-lame. Fifty, although lovely to look at, needs to stay off the microphone. The dancing show that night was also horrific. Like a bad basement production by your kids or grandkids. Step forward, step back, arms up, arms down, somersault. Really. Somersaults. I was actually embarrassed for them.
On another night, the ‘rock star’ contest, hosted by Shaquine (I think that’s her name) was over in about 3 minutes. There was little energy to any of the staff productions. Not that we ever go for the entertainment, but we’re usually at least marginally entertained by them. Not this time.
Other
Occupancy was hard to gauge while we were there. I’d guess an average of 50-70% the first weekend, and down below 50% during the week, and then a big jump our last night as the love voodoo group had come in. Our first few days the Chocolate Couples group was around, as well as some stragglers from AWOL. All very nice people, plenty of integration with the non-groupers like us. The Happy Bastards rolled in at one point. They were a really fun group, not at all the ‘takeover’ types. They did charter a private catamaran cruise one day, which all but emptied the nude pool. Their matching happy face clothing (or lack of) was entertaining.
We were happy to see the bridge connecting the main pool with the prude pool was finally opened, for the first time in several years. Ladies, heed the warning sign that says ‘no high heels’. They mean it. There was painting going on everywhere. Here’s a tip, if you grab a freshly painted rail, the paint is oil-based and a visit to the watersports guys and their gas tank will help you clean up. (oops). A whole block of second-floor rooms on the nude side was getting a facelift. Workers were sanding down the doors, taping and painting the trim and walls, and making minor repairs. It was nice to see some sprucing going on.
I really wish something could be done about the stifling heat in the main dining room. One of the fans had been replaced and actually moved air. If the resort is looking for a tip, replace ALL the fans with one of those. There were several points in the evenings where the heat was so unbearable in there that we couldn’t stand it any longer and had to escape. The temperature seems to defy the laws of physics since the room is open air and vented on the top in areas, but it is unbearable in the evenings.
The weather was varied, with rain almost every day we were there. Sometimes for only an hour or two, but several days it started at noon and didn’t stop until dark. Temperatures were plenty warm and the humidity was high, but not awful. It still beats seven days of rain. So we’ll take it.
All-in-all a great trip with few complaints. As always, we can’t wait to go back.