Bob & Carmen - March, 2011
March 3-12, 2011
First of all, I owe an apology to one girl at the resort. Remember
me? I sat on your towel while chatting with some new friends on
the edge of the nude pool. After awhile, you asked me to go get
you a new towel because I had sat upon yours. That was rude of me,
and I’m sorry. If you recall, I did get you a new towel, but
before handing it to you, and without you knowing it, I sat on it too
(just for a few seconds). That was even more rude of me. But
it was Hedo, and I know I’m forgiven (even if I’m not sorry).
I chalk it up to a lesson on facing your fears. I hope you haven't
fallen ill from some strange virus that is related to naked ass.
This was our first trip and it was Godessweek, which included about 8
male dancers from Jamaica and New York (Divine Men of Choice), as well
as three truly gorgeous girls from Jamaica, Debora, Angel and Anne (hope
I spelled those right). We were a little leery about having
the male dancers around for the entire trip, but each one of the guys
proved to be very well mannered and treated all the guests with respect
throughout the week. The three girls were great ambassadors for
Jamaica and flirted and teased the guests with the naughtiest of
suggestions but the purest hearts (dang).
Advice to first timers: Approach people. Ask if they would
mind if you sat at their breakfast or lunch table. Introduce
yourself in the pool or hot tub. Compliment other guests about
anything you like about them, such as an outfit, a tattoo or something
you saw them do. Bring and wear themed costumes. Play
volleyball. Participate in at least one contest. Try a pda
somewhere on the resort grounds. Sing Karaoke. If you are a
girl, kiss a few other girls (wink wink) or more. And support all
the guests that do any of these things. Don’t drink too
much. Respect your mate’s limits at all times. If you
haven’t talked about limits and come up with a sign or a signal word to
let your mate know you are uncomfortable with something, then you need
to figure that out first.
Notes to self: No pole dancing next time (wife said it was not
sexy even though the other guests were enjoying it thoroughly).
Walk the grounds next time before we smoke anything as the
disorientation is accentuated by unfamiliarity (couldn’t even find the
nude hot tub one night and darned near walked right off the resort
trying).
We arrived on a Thursday, which was a good time to arrive. Our
time at the airport was minimal compared to people arriving on the
weekend. The bus ride to the resort was pretty uneventful.
There were only 2 other couples on board, going to Hedo, out of about 40
other passengers.
We arrived on toga night, and had time to grab a pre-dinner snack, then
take a short nap before going to dinner. About 1/3 of the females
wore togas to dinner and about ¼ of the men wore togas. Of the
guests who didn’t dress in togas, the attire ranged from swimsuits to
very nice dresses for the women and most men wore shorts and a casual
shirt.
The piano bar was packed for Dion about every other night on the trip.
The other nights consisted of Karaoke, so the piano bar gets used for
music every night. On our last night, Lovevoodoo.com had a pool
party on the main deck after dinner so the piano bar was
uncharacteristically lightly attended for Karaoke. But it
was fun, nonetheless.
After the piano bar each night, attention and attendance moved to the
disco. Some nights the disco was very active and on a couple of
the nights, there was little or nothing going on there.
There was an on-premise club set up in the spa every night and sometimes
that drew a large group that diminished attendance at other areas for a
certain amount of time.
After the piano bar, we usually hit the hot tub by the nude pool.
Like the disco, that was hit and miss for attendance as well.
Sometimes it was jam packed with partiers and on a couple of nights, it
was nearly vacant.
We usually woke up at about 9:45 or 10:00 a.m., had breakfast, then hit
the beach or the pool until late afternoon. At that point, we
tried to get an hour or two of sleep, but on one or two of the days, it
rained, so we ended up in the hot tub with 40 of our closest friends,
and the activity and alcohol replaced the desire to nap. There
were two pretty active times for PDA’s at the hot tub. Usually
between 5 and 7p.m or 2 to 4 a.m. resulted in some very interesting
activities.
We have been to Desire on two previous occasions and we really like
Desire. Hedo had a lot of impressing to do for both of us before
we could consider returning or giving Hedo a positive review.
Luckily we went in knowing that there were certain aspects of Desire
that were better than Hedo. For instance the rooms, dining room
and restaurants at Desire were said to be much nicer than Hedo. So
none of that came as a surprise. However, many past reviewers have
mentioned how average Hedo’s food is. We found that to be
inaccurate. Hedo puts a lot of food out there each noon and night
that is very appealing. We would say that Desire and Hedo have
similar food quality. Desire does a better job of setting up a
romantic dinner in its restaurants, but the flavor and selection is
equivalent to Hedo’s. Of the two restaurants at Hedo, Martino’s is
the most romantic, but the Japanese grill is fun and tasty.
I’d say the biggest difference between the two resorts is the
Entertainment Crew. Desire’s crew is fun and helpful, but Hedo
takes it up a notch and has a crew that is truly talented way beyond
Desire’s. The girls are sexy, funny and very talented dancers and
singers. Some of the guys on the crew belong on Broadway or in a
rock band. They work their asses off, but seem to have fun doing
it. With names like Thrill, Sticky Nicky, Ferrario, Peach and
Fifty, they are easy to get to know. They make references and use
language that is much more suggestive and graphic than the Desire
counterparts, but that is just because Hedo guests have clearly come to
party more than the people that go to Desire.
Highpoints of the trip were: Fetish night when my wife
won a bottle of rum for wearing a home crafted outfit of leather and
chains that caused many a pulse to quicken. Poolside
massages from the divine men (for her) and Angel (for her again… twice).
Hearing Winston (EC) and Ian (guest) sing an opera farewell to a couple
on their last night in the piano bar, and hearing Ian and my wife sing
Danny Boy that same night. Meeting up with a couple of friends
from our last Desire trip, then meeting more friends that were new to us
on this trip. Breakfasts with our friends each morning, including
the recap of the previous nights events from everyone around the table.
There were truly some unbelievable stories, but there is no doubt that
they were true, because we were part of some of them.
What about the single guys? Rule #1 is that single guys are not
your enemy. We met several that were very respectful and loads of
fun (the guys from the DC area). But rule #2 is that there
are some spooky guys that show up. One guy in particular, a bald
guy in his 30’s seems to be well on his way to a life of solitude (maybe
even solitary) if he doesn’t get some help. He’s the kind of guy
that just needs to skip travel and spend his money on counseling.
Then there was the geriatric guy traveling with five college boys.
That was just as icky.
24/7 porn on the t.v. is a nice incentive for ideas throughout the week.
That’s something Desire Los Cabos had but that Desire Cancun does not
have.
Another nice thing about Hedo is the quick flight between Negril and
Mobay. We took the bus on arrival, but flew from Negril to Mobay
on our way home ($83 per person). It’s a 12 minute flight and
gives you a great scenic view all the way there. Tim Air is $105
per person but they will pretty much fly you whenever you want, whereas
the other one has flights every few hours. The pilot and crew were
very nice and informative. The guy in the Negril airport said Hedo
needs to be fully remodeled, but they don’t want to do it because it’s
always pretty full and it would take 5 years to do it right. I
don’t doubt that. They have the highest return rate of any hotel
in the Caribbean, so it would be a big financial risk to shut it down
for a long time and give up all that revenue. They would
then have to charge a higher rate after they reopened, which is
something no one wants to see. In the end, it wouldn’t increase
their income much at all. Nor would the women look any sexier, and
that’s what really counts.
The weather was great the whole trip. As I mentioned, it rained a
bit the first two afternoons, but the temperature was always very warm,
and it never got too windy. It never really cooled off too much at
night. I wore pants to dinner and dancing each night, but many men
wore shorts, which didn’t seem too casual. I figure if my wife
dresses up so beautifully each night, I owe that to her.
When you get home, write a trip report.
We had read some negative trip reports prior to visiting, and we can
assure you that the authors of those reports either focused on the
drawbacks and ignored all the benefits, or they had other experiences
that led them down a negative path. Such people are the
exception, not the rule at Hedo (thankfully).
Is Hedo better than Desire? On some things, yes, and on some
things, no. Both are great places with great staff and awesome
guests. Will we return to Hedo. But it’s a big world
out there. We also heard a rumor that something big is soon to be
announced about Hedo. That could be a wive’s tail or it
could be minor. We’ll see. A takeover at some other tropic
hotel may be our next trip of this sort, but one never knows. We
really enjoyed Hedo.