Doug & Kat - October, 2010
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General Disclaimer: On our five previous trips to Hedo we have generally tried to get involved in various group activities, have usually made it to breakfast and most every dinner. This time we just REALLY needed to just let go for a week... The trip involved a fair amount of Hedo Haze and this report should be considered as coming from night creatures who rarely got into the daylight before 11 AM or later. Our tans MAY have actually faded during our stay. I have tried to blend my recollections a week later with some of the forum postings we made during our stay, which will probably make the report even more confusing. That said here we go; Travel from our secret base location in Houston - Continental has non stop flights from Houston to MBJ every Saturday and Sunday. It is very nice not having the plane change, "will I make my connection" thing to worry about. Upgraded to 1st class at the last minute. This included getting our 3rd and 4th bag of heels and toys on the plane for no surcharge. Is always nice having your own line to the ticket counter (saves about 10 to 20 minutes depending on how the crowds are that day) , having your own line through security which saves another 10 to 30 minutes of standing in line and getting a pass to the Presidents Club Lounge for your pre-flight wait. If you haven't been, the Lounge has wifi if you need it, free snacks and a nice bar with free drinks. Our flight was at 10:15 so we had about an hour to kill in the lounge, so we got in about 3 or 4 excellent Bloody Mary's before it was flight time. The lounge was right next to our gate as it worked out so we walked out of the lounge and straight on board the aircraft. I was a bit disappointed in the meals in 1st class on this flight, the wife had a cheese burger and I have what turned out to be a lump of poached chicken breast on some iceberg lettuce. They also had no champagne... imagine that in 1st class! The cabin crew was asking us questions about Jamaica as this was their first trip there... I was wondering if that was also true for the flight deck crew as we made our MBJ approach in the rain. MBJ processing through Immigration and Customs took about 15 minutes once we got to the end of the jog from the plane to the Customs hall. Went to the Superclubs Lounge and checked in. Pleaded with the counter staff to make up an ALL Hedo bus as those are always more fun. They accommodated us less one couple going to Breezes. The bus made the usual pit stop and actually, our drinks from the Presidents Lounge and the plane were wearing off so it was time for a couple drinks and a rest stop anyway. By the end of the ride the husband in the Breezes couple was all for getting a day pass and coming over, his wife who looked stunned and appalled at the behavior of the Hedo folks on the bus... well... not so much.... Hotel Check in- We have that routine pretty much down. I turn in the information card, get the wife and I a drink from the bar, deliver the drink to the wife in the Front Desk lounge, make a run to the gift shop for a few items it never seems appropriate to bring on the plane and through customs and by the time I get back to the Front Desk the bellman is ready for us. In the past the bellman would walk us to our room with our bags, but this time he just confirmed which bags were ours and said he would meet us at the room and off he went in that little white pick-up truck they use. True enough, when we got to the room he had our bags at the door and was waiting for us. Our room - We had a 2nd floor OVN in the second building from the Nude Pool. Perfect location for us. I had been concerned about the late night noise being that close to the Hot Tub, but as it worked out we were usually among those making the 4 AM noises (sorry) so it wasn't a problem. Room general… Too much hot water. It was difficult to get it turned down for a cool shower. AC worked great almost all the time and was often too cold. No towel problems. As always room was clean and housekeeping staff was excellent in cleaning around our debris piles. Wifi- When you go to the desk to sign up for the Wifi you are given verbal instructions on how to set up your connection and log in. There are no printed versions of the instructions available. After suggesting several times that I just call if I had problems, the young lady at the desk relented and hand wrote the log in instructions down on a scrap of paper. The Wifi worked probably 99% of the time we were there or 50% of the time I wanted to use it. I displayed an uncanny ability to decide to use the Wifi, get logged into all my various systems and software at our Houston office, which takes about 15 to 20 minutes to get done, just before a power blip. The Wifi would take anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour or more to come back on. We bought an HP netbook for the trip and it worked great and fit in the safe with no problems. The small screen made working in some of my office applications kind of a pain because I had to keep changing the zoom level of the display, but it served it's purpose and I managed to get our employees paychecks printed on time. We also used Skype for phone calls, having brought a headset along for the purpose. That also worked pretty well but would drop out once in a while for unknown reasons, but redialing was quick and easy. Tip - if the network name they tell you to log into is unavailable, pick another Hedo network with good signal strength and log into it. A few UPS's on the network infrastructure would be a nice thing. Hot tub- brought a digital thermometer and checked. Usual temp about 98 degrees, which many complained was too hot. Here are some re-edited contemporaneous notes from while we were there (Events may be displaced by a day or so from their actual timing due to Hedo haze); Evening Day 1, Saturday 10/23... Met a couple that lives literally 4 blocks from us while walking to the dining room. Our dinner in the Main Dining Room was very good, in spite of no lettuce and not much variety in the salad bar area. Dining Room has the same fans as ever. The
problem is that time and moisture have warped the blades so that
they do not effectively move any air. I have the same problem on
a fan at home. It goes round and round but just doesn't move any
air. Those big 5 blade Hunters should be making a windstorm in
the dining room. The after dinner show included a terrible rapping duo (Some may have thought they were wonderful, I personally cannot stand Rap) followed by a female stripper (literally) with the EC/MC suggesting that audience members come up with their dollar bills for her. She also apparently brought her own cheering section with her who would throw money on the stage at various points during her 'act' which would be followed by another member of her group going on the stage and stuffing all the bills back into a plastic bag. The throw money and then stuff it back in the bag routine was repeated a few times. She did a couple lap dances on audience members. We found it boring and low class. (It was later reported by several witnesses that the stripper was followed by one of the Male ECs doing some sort of whipped cream covered masturbation scene on the stage. They were also bored) Piano bar was rocking and we stayed until it closed. Winston sang several songs and again amazed us with the incredible range of his voice and talent. Disco actually played some danceable music some of the time. Hot tub was a bit on the warm side for my wife's taste but felt great to me. Usual hot tub scene. We discovered that it is much easier to find your way home to your room after a night of partying if the sun is up when you make the attempt. Day 2, Sunday 10/24... Regained consciousness about 2 PM. Rained most of the afternoon and into the evening. Day 3, Monday 10/25... Charlie is waiting to do my omelet. Was great when he 1st saw us and came out of his station to give us each a welcome home hug... that kind of thing just doesn't happen anywhere else but Hedo. No butter again at Breakfast. Can't report on dinner , had reservations at Martino's but oh well... got back to the room about 5:30 PM in the pouring rain after a great day of beach and pool partying and didn't come to until Tuesday morning. Day 4, Tuesday 10/26... Woke up early and walked the beach from end to end (had to take the blow up sheep for a morning walk) and saw a total of perhaps 25 or 30 floats and those were all cracked and torn up. The recent storm must have blown / floated most of the floats away. The morning coffee urn at Delroy's seems to be a thing of the past. Later in the day the odd Pirate dress up group was observed going off in full Pirate gear in a small Jamaican fishing boat, we were told later they did a beach assault somewhere up the coast... (OK... so the guy with the blowup sheep is calling the pirate fetish folks odd... point taken). Found Chris the wood carver and negotiated a carving. (In the end it seemed he was not entirely clear on the actual shape of the state of Texas (see pictures) but at least he represented the state as being very well hung, probably after having been impressed by your truly...) Enjoyed a couple hours nude water volleyball in the main pool with the Wild Bunch folks. They were a great group and we wished we could have spent more time with them but our party like a rock star agenda and their schedule didn't overlap as much as we would have liked Day 5, Wednesday 10/27... Wifi off for a couple hours today after rainstorm. Scumba smiling self as ever and still no Delroy. Scumba reports that Delroy is still out with his knee problems and did not have a forecast when he might return. For the Dirty Banana fanciers, one appeared every time I asked and all seemed to have fresh bananas in them. Martino's report - No lettuce or tomatoes, so no salad, Antipasto bar was usual odd display of non-antipasto type stuff. No A/C. Couldn't wait for dinner to end to get outside where it was cooler. No ravioli, no beef, no something else I have forgotten. Asked for pasta in Pesto sauce, kitchen said not possible. Ordered pasta in olive oil, garlic and basil, no problem mon... Staff did their best to show enthusiasm. I had the Lamb Chops. Chops were very good but were sliced about 3/8" thick and there were just 4 like that. Menu should say "chop" not "chops".
I believe that one of the areas that degrades the dining experience in the Main Dining Room is the way the meat / chicken / fish butchery is done. As an example, it appeared that the 'Gala' item on the Friday menu was shrimp. The shrimp was prepared to order at one of the island cooking stations with your choice of sauce and other ingredients. When attempting to eat the shrimp I realized that they had not removed the shells prior to cooking, so one had to use their fingers to dig into the sauce and peel the shrimp to eat it. Not quite as elegant as one might wish. The same preparation problem was observed regarding the meats and chicken. What were very tasty items were made less appealing by the fact that the meat, rather than being trimmed of fat and cut off the bone seemed to have been randomly hacked out of a large piece of very bony meat by a blind man using an axe. A bit more attention to this area would go a long way. As the kitchen staff is now all Jamaican, it may be that the frame of reference of what non-Jamaican's prefer regarding food preparation and menus has been lost. But, as has been said many times, no one starves at Hedo and if you are going for the dining experience you should probably go somewhere else. Day 8, Saturday 10/30 :-(... Bus ride… 9:00AM bus left early, about 9:12 AM. Bus driver was very careful with his bus, using the gas pedal carefully so as to avoid ever going fast enough to need to use the brakes. Airport arrival 10:20 AM. Upgraded return to 1st Class again so we bypassed the check in line. Got lucky on the Jamaican immigration and security and there were no lines there either. Much better cabin service on the return flight with Champagne and excellent meals. All in all, a great trip that we needed sooooooooooooooooooooooooo badly. Made wonderful new friends that we look forward to seeing again and saw old ones from previous trips. We ate many meals at the Nude Grill and all were very good. Our next trip will be an adult cruise in the spring but after that there is a very good chance (if the Gods smile upon us) we will be back at Hedo again. As always would recommend Hedo as a destination to all of our more open minded friends. If you haven't been, go, there is no where else like it on the planet! |