Brett & Jill - April, 2010

Jill and Brett’s Trip Report:  April 18th - April 22nd, 2010

(A short, but sweet trip home…)

 

We returned from Hedonism II just over four weeks ago, and since that time, I (Brett) have been losing sleep trying to decide how to start my trip report.  That, combined with the Dreaded Island Fever (DIF) which has already begun to set in, could be comparable to the swine flu, Chronic Wasting Disease (CHD) of deer, or any of the other illnesses we often deal with annually here in Wisconsin.  This was my 5th and Jill’s 4th visit to Jamaica (and to Hedo II). My first time was in 1997, prior to us knowing each other, and our last visit home (together) prior to this visit was in 2004.  Now, having a 2- and 4-year old daughter, the time was right for us to return.  We’re 39- and 41- year old college educated, professionals, with full-time jobs in healthcare and law enforcement.

 

While I’ve never submitted a trip report before, I have read EVERY Hedo II report that’s been posted on Denny’s site in the past 10 years.  I’ve also read through and kept up to date on every message board posting, checking them at least 3-4 times per week.  I can’t thank those posters enough- both for the information and (sometimes) entertainment they’ve provided during our absence from the resort.  Also, a BIG shout out to DennyP for moderating this awesome site!

 

I’ve decided to try and touch on some of the things that were important to us, and the things that we had questions about prior to returning home.  If you find some of this report boring, please do not hesitate to skip ahead to the next paragraph or even the next page.  Also, some of the items mentioned have been discussed (sometimes at length) on Denny’s message boards, and I’ve added a comment or two to the topics there at times, as they’ve come up.  Therefore, I didn’t feel it was important to spend extra time on some of those issues here.  Lastly, please feel free to Private Message me or email me directly if you have specific questions or comments about this report.

 

We flew direct from Chicago to Montego Bay on Sunday morning, April 18th.  We awoke at 3:45am, caught our shuttle at 4:15am, arrived at O’Hare at 4:30am, boarded USA4000 flight at 5:45am, and departed at 6:28am.  The only reason I’m mentioning this is that USA4000 was a ‘2nd choice’ for us, and it worked out great!  We were scheduled to fly Air Jamaica, and after they cancelled all their flights from Chicago, we were left high (or low) and dry.  We learned of AJ’s cuts ONLY via Denny’s site, and NEVER received ANY direct communication from AJ.  After many calls and much time wasted on the phone, we did receive a full refund.  However, with the inconvenience they caused and their lack of customer service, we will NEVER fly or recommend anyone fly AJ again.

 

We arrived at Sangster at 10:15am, which was actually 15 minutes earlier than scheduled, and customs and immigration went smoothly.  The majority of the people on our plane had booked thru Apple Vacations (we didn’t), and after arriving at the Superclubs desk, found that we were the only ones going to Hedo.  They rushed us to a full size bus and we were off.  Total time on the shuttle (including bathroom stop for our driver) was 1 hour 15 minutes, and we were in Hedo’s lobby at 12:10pm.  I was impressed!  (Two additional notes- a taxi was offered at the airport, which we refused.  Also, I didn’t get my Red Stripe for the bus, but could’ve.  Found us to be too excited to get home, and wanted to get on bus. )

 

Upon arrival at the Front Desk, we were welcomed home, and offered drinks by the staff.  (I apologize, but I’m not good with staff names.  EVERYONE we encountered, though, was friendly and personable.  From the Front Desk staff to the housekeepers to the water sports guys to Scumba, Agustus, and Paulette- all, in our opinion, lived up to their reputations.)  We had reserved an Oceanview Prude room that was not yet ready.  No problem, ‘mon, we went to have lunch.  We checked back exactly one hour later, found that we’d been upgraded to Oceanview Nude, and were physically in Room 2202 by 1:30pm.  We knew like at any hotel / resort, rooms were not “guaranteed”, if there is such a thing, until at least 3:00pm.  We were VERY excited about this upgrade, as occupancy was high (Tease Ums and ButtCrack Tours in-house).  Also, knowing that there was higher turnover of guests on Saturday, we weren’t sure what we’d end up with.  Room 2202 was on the 2nd floor (per our request), was centrally located, and had a great view.

 

After going for a short walk around the grounds (to make sure everything was how we left it 6 years ago), we relaxed on the beach area between the prude and nude sides.  The overwhelming majority of guests were on or near the nude beach / pool area, but there were approximately 20-25 others lounging near us.  Most were topless, some nude, everyone friendly and enjoying themselves.  Due to our ‘early’ morning and travel, we changed for dinner early, enjoyed the main buffet for dinner, and were in bed by 11:00pm.  (“in bed”….but, not asleep!)

 

Monday, April 19th, we were up early (shortly after 7:00am), made dinner reservations for Martino’s, and took a walk along the beach towards Negril.  This was something we’d never done before, and found it to be very enjoyable.  Seeing the other resorts that line Seven Mile Beach at that time of day (when it was still cool), made it worth getting out of bed early.  After breakfast, we set up camp on the nude beach, under a shade tree, in front of the massage shack.  This is where we spent the majority of our three remaining days.  (Note: The tour desk off the lobby isn’t staffed until 9:00am.  Therefore, it was hurry up and wait to secure dinner reservations at Martino’s (as the peak time slots fill fast).

 

We enjoyed lunch from the nude grill throughout our stay (grilled cheese with tomatoes, burgers, and chicken with jerk sauce), and Nigel was always friendly.  Service from Delroy’s was also consistently quick and efficient, even on Monday and Tuesday (Delroy’s days off). We did stick to the basics, though- Dirty bananas, strawberry daiquiris, hummingbirds, bloody marys, and Red Stripes, so, we can’t comment how well they were or weren’t stocked with the premium brand stuff.  Rafts left behind were plentiful, and seat cushions were always available for floating.  Agustus kept the beach raked, and kept everyone entertained.  We commented on the beach ‘salesmen’ on Denny’s discussion board, so we won’t dwell on it in this report, other than to say it got ‘old’ for us.

 

On Tuesday morning, we joined the Tease Ums girls for the Catamaran Cruise.  It was a blast, as everyone was friendly, most went at least topless if not fully nude, and the weather was perfect.  Since we brought up the weather, we’ll expand on it here.  It was 80-85 degrees EVERY day we were in Jamaica, and we had NO rain whatsoever.  True, our visit was shorter than most, but the weather was a concern for us as our trip approached.  Negril received a significant amount of rain (for April) in the week leading up to our arrival, so we were very excited that it ended up being as nice as it was when we were there.  (Upon arriving back in Chicago, it was 45 degrees.  Back in Wisconsin, we had frost at least two nights the week of our return…)

 

We felt the food in the main dining room (buffet) was tasty, and that the service from staff was great.  Our water glasses were always re-filled faster than we’re used to, and wine was always offered at dinner.  We (like most) love Charlie’s omelets at breakfast, frequented the pasta station for dinner, and had our fill of the salad / fruit / bread bars at various other times.  There were repeats from meal to meal, but as long as the temperatures are maintained, we’d rather see certain items reappear, than everything simply disposed of (after barely being touched). We are people watchers, so several hours were spent each night after dinner simply enjoying the erotic and often entertaining “atmosphere” around us.

 

The stage shows we also found entertaining, although, they would likely become boring for guests who stay more than a week and saw them repeated.  Roots did a fine job every night, and their volume level was satisfactory.  The steel drum band (sorry, forgot their name) was great, but again, we hadn’t been to Hedo for 6 years. And lastly, Elvis was fine- especially if you’re an Elvis fan.  The staff fashion show got long and could’ve been cut in half, and very few guests participated in pimp and ho night (and the costume competition that goes with it).  One would think that coming up with some new theme nights and offering GOOD prizes to those guests who participate would be relatively easy to do.  Even if they try a few over the course of several months, increasing the interest of those guests in-house should be a management priority. (Just our 2.5 cents….)

 

As for the “sexual-ness” of the resort, we’ll touch briefly on it:  It was good!  Moving on….

 

No, in all seriousness, one of the reasons WE opt for Hedonism II as OUR vacation spot is the ever present, underlying erotic atmosphere.  We get (and got) to see things and do things that we don’t normally get to experience at home, or, to be quite honest, at other vacation spots.  From the couple making love on the raft at 10:45am, to the guests “playing” in their rooms with the curtains open at night- it was all good, ‘mon!  How can making love (and I didn’t say f*cking), I said making love in the hot tub at night, or in a hammock on the beach, or under the mirrored ceiling in a guest room with porn on the TV and the room door slightly ajar, not bring a couple closer together???  With the things going on in today’s world, to the daily stress of most of our jobs, to the uncertain world economy- it’s both relaxing and reassuring to not only share some of those experiences with the one you love, but also to see others sharing those experiences (both intimate/erotic and not…) with each other.

 

We did not, nor did we see any others get arrested (or even cited) by the sex police.  We also did not have any issues with any single men.  I (Brett) DID have someone of the opposite gender, who, in an unsolicited manner, attached a small tortoise sticker to a rather sensitive body part during one of the happy hours at the nude bar.  The decal was placed in an area that, even with no ‘hare’ present, was next to impossible to remove!  (Note to self: Please refrain from allowing strangers to place turtle stickers on the head of your penis, especially when already sensitive from the sun!)

 

In closing and in recalling some of the other topics that seem to come up frequently on Denny’s discussion boards, our room air conditioner worked great throughout our stay.  We never touched the controls, and it was consistently blowing cold air.  We also had plenty of hot water for showers- both in the morning and evening, and there was adequate pressure at all times.  The beach towel program worked for us, and we were always able to find chairs along the nude beach.  We took along light bulbs for our room (advice obtained from Denny’s site), and we also used two extension cords which allowed us more power options. 

 

Our shuttle to the airport and our return flight to Chicago went smoothly, with what seemed to be more security checks than normal.  We DID have to wait an hour+ to get through customs and immigration in Chicago.  We also waited almost an hour for our shuttle from O’Hare back to the Hyatt (where our car was parked), as the Hyatt people couldn’t seem to figure out that we were waiting at the international arrivals terminal.  With the unique sense of humor that we both share, we thought it was awesome that our departure from Hedo, shuttle transfer to Montego Bay, and luggage handling at Sangster went smoother and more efficiently in Jamaica than it did in Chicago!

 

With utmost respect to all of our Hedo friends,

 

Brett (and Jill)