Traci - November, 2008

T3 Trip Report - November 2008

 

I am a 42 year old woman and I was a Hedo virgin.  No more, Mon.

 

I was the person who read almost every trip report and looked at every picture that I could find.  I read all of the posts thread by thread trying to gather as much information as possible about this place that my best friend had raved about enough to make me want to go.

 

I was the person who wondered (re: obsessed) about how I would be able have my clothes off in front of a lot of other people….and then when I did put on clothes, would they be the right ones??

 

I read Hedo Ricks Hints (which are very good) and I went out and bought each and every thing on the list.  I read about decorating doors/rooms and bought a bunch of stuff to do that.  I spent $200 at Rite-Aid before my trip on medicines and other accoutrements that I thought I had to have to make the trip “perfect”.  The whole “going to a foreign country….gotta have everything” mentality.

 

I brought two suitcases (plus a carry on!) totaling about 85 pounds…..12 pairs of shoes (mostly FMP’s)……a slew of slut-wear….way too many “regular” clothes and a bathing suit (what WAS I thinking??).

 

So, this trip report is for all of you other virgins looking to grab a little Jamaican sunshine and jump with two feet into Hedo!  I hope sharing my experience will help you to RELAX!

 

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

 

Don’t worry!  You will be fine. 

 

If you are planning a trip to Hedo, then you must already be an open-minded person with a good attitude, so just be yourself and SMILE.  Everything else soon come.

 

THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING

 

Don’t pack like you’re never going home again. 

 

I was so worried about my luggage getting lost (OMG….what WOULD I do????).  Tom told me that he had heard stories about that very thing and people who got by with just a towel all week.  I now believe this is possible.

 

The next time I come to Hedo II, my packing will consist of a sarong, a few tank tops, sexy dresses for the evening (or costumes for theme nights), 2 pairs of really great FMP’s, a pair of sandals, make-up/toiletries and lots of sunscreen.  That’s it! 

 

As it turns out, Hedo II has a fairly well stocked gift shop for anything else that you may need.  And, as it turns out, they have a nurses’ station in case you need to see a doctor (which I did – for tonsillitis) who can prescribe meds if you really need them.  I was a little skeptical about the antibiotics I was given and ended up seeing my doctor back in the States when I got home (for more meds)…..but the Z-Pak the Jamaican doc gave me did get me thru the week and for that, I was thankful  (and all for $150, Mon).

 

THE PEOPLE

 

When I was considering Hedo II for a vacation, I read everything I could about the place.  There are a few posts/websites, etc. that make it seem like a giant orgy with swingers everywhere who may try to get you to do things that you do not want to do.   Not true.

 

However, you’re not in the Magic Kingdom and the likelihood of seeing PDA is high.  Trust me, it’s only kinky the first time you see a guy getting a BJ or a woman having her boobs or whatever fondled/diddled with while sitting on the side of the pool or hot tub.  After that, you hardly notice…..by day three either you or your significant other will probably be sitting on the side of the hot tub or pool and you will be doing/enjoying the same thing yourself. And if and when you decide to do that, NO ONE will be judging/talking about you.  However, if the deed is done to completion….people may clap.  Just so ya know……

 

The people you will meet will be the most genuine, accepting, fun people you will ever know.

 

I didn’t see one super-model.  I saw people who were thin, heavy, big boobs, no boobs, big bamboo, little bamboo, long hair, bald, scars, tattoos…..and I never (in a whole week) ever heard someone say something negative about someone else.

 

Outside the world of Hedo, you can judge the success (or lack of) in a person by what they are wearing (nice suit/jewelry/watches/shoes, etc) or what they are driving.  Having no clothes on is the great equalizer.  You have no idea what people do for a living….and no one cares.  I don’t think anyone really ever asked me what I do and I don’t think I asked anyone else.  Eventually, in talking to people, some volunteered this information but it certainly wasn’t even a big part of the conversation.  Everyone is on vacation to get away from the “real world” and work is not something most people want to talk about. 

 

However, when I asked a girl if it hurt to get her clit pierced, she gave me a blow by blow of the pros and cons of clit piercing.  And, she lifted her leg to show me what it looked like and demonstrated the procedure! You would never be able to have this conversation with a complete stranger at your local bar back home!  And, I didn’t even know her name! 

 

Before I went to Hedo II, I was concerned about where to look when meeting someone for the first time…..stare in their eyes….take a little glance down….the answer is WEAR SUNGLASSES!!!  Everyone looks at everyone (they’re naked for goodness sakes!).  You will look at other people…other people will look at you….when you’re walking….when you’re stepping down the ladder of the pool…..when you’re standing at the bar…..when you’re stepping down into the hot tub (and it’s a mighty big first step, watch out for it!), when you are applying sunscreen (although MUCH more fun to have someone else do it for you!)…..when you bend over to get something…..Yes…..they will be looking….and so will you….get over it…..it’s part of why you’re choosing to vacation at Hedo II. 

 

The really funny thing is that it won’t stop when you put clothes on and go home!  I’ve found that I have a new skill since being at Hedo II….I can see right thru peoples’ clothes!  It’s the oddest thing…..I look at someone in the grocery store and I can imagine JUST what they look like naked!

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you will find – maybe for the first time in your life – total acceptance in a judgment free zone.  And THAT, my friend, is a very cool thing.

 

WHAT WE DID

 

When we first got to Hedo II we went up to our rooms to put our bags away.  Man,  I was so nervous.  Here I was…my moment of truth…. it was almost time to get naked!

 

We changed out of our traveling clothes and went to get Tom.  That’s when we met Flacco.  Flacco was Tom’s roommate.  The guy was a little strange.  If you are interested in this story (and it’s a good one!), you’ll have to read Tom’s report.  I’m not gonna give it away.

 

Tony, Tom and I headed down to the prude grill to get some lunch (at this point I had on a sarong and a tank top).  While at lunch I was looking around (OMG! There were NAKED people!) and wondering if I could really do this.  Tom was trying to break me in slowly and assured me that I would be fine.

 

Tom has some friends from past trips who were there so we decided to venture down and see them on the nude beach.  Now here’s the thing with the nude beach: You can’t have any clothes on! (Imagine THAT!).  If you do, a security guard will come up and tell you that this is a nude beach and take it off or leave.  This is to prevent people from walking around who are “just lookin”.

 

So, the time had come.  There we were….on the jetty talking to C and L and it was time for me to drop the clothes.  I did.  C promptly told me that he liked my tattoo…..I got the up and down look from the group and that was it.  Back to regularly scheduled programming.

 

For all the weeks I spent worrying about doing this, it was the most anti-climactic moment of the trip…..Trust me when I say that were many climactic moments but taking my clothes off just wasn’t one of them!

 

The first night we arrived at HedoII was the Pinpals/BosomBuddies/Valspals Naughty School Girl Night – what a blast!  Dinner was on the beach that night.  While hitting the buffet, we met BL and M.  We walked by them and he (BL) shouted out, “Hey can we sit with you?”  We ended up hanging out with them for most of the week in the evenings and they were a lot of fun.  I will never forget BL’s directorial abilities (haha) and how M is my twin (haha).  If you have a keen eye, maybe you’ll see the rocks that we painted (with fingernail polish) by the hot tub (complete with paying off a guard to make sure we didn’t get caught).

 

I got my initiation the second day (at Tom’s insistence!).  Won’t get into the details but it involved rum cream, the cool tub, and NBH’s.  BA (many know BA…he leads most virgin initiations...) seemed to enjoy shouting “virgin, virgin”.  After the initiation, BA introduced me to Fred.  Fred’s good.  He lives in the cool tub…..make sure you meet him when you get there.  “This place is crazy!”

 

A typical day for us started around 10:30 or so with some breakfast in the Main Dining Room.  Then maybe a little nap back in the room or in one of the F Huts (Still getting over the night before!).  Around noon, we would head to the pool.  At some point, we would look at each other and say “Are we ready to start drinking again??”.  “Sure”….was usually the answer and the day would begin.  The most stressful part of the afternoon was deciding “Do we start with the frozen drinks with floaters or just go straight to the spiced rum and Pepsi??”

 

When it got hot in the pool, we would move over to the cool tub and when the sun started setting it was over to the hot tub.

 

We met lots of great people:  S and C from our area, S and J from Chicago, a doc and crew from NY and then there was S and S.  Oh my….she certainly made us feel like we were home!

 

After the hot tub we would go back and change for dinner and dress in appropriate theme clothes for the evening (pj’s, pimp and ho, toga, black, red)…..more specifically, I would dress up for the theme nights....the boys wore shorts and some sort of Hawaiian shirt.

 

Dinner was followed by the piano bar (one wild night I was actually ON the piano….stripping to Mustang Sally……thanks to Tom!).  I should say now, that stripping on a piano has been on “my bucket list” for some time.  Not that I have any experience with this whatsoever and I may not have been that great – in fact, Tom and Tony stood close by in case I danced myself right off the damn thing! But once up there, I liked it so much I stayed on for one more song while Tom sung “Another Saturday Night” .  “This place is CRAZY!”

 

Then it’s off to the disco.  Some nights it was somewhat crowded and some nights there weren’t more than a few people there.  But we had fun every night.  “How’s that pole, Tom…..a little greasy?”…. “Shake your boobies/shake your boobies/yeah yeah!”

 

 “NAKED WATER SLIDE”……. ‘nuff said.

 

After that, back to the hot tub (OH MY – again!  “This place is CRAZY”).  I’ll just leave this part up to your imagination….don’t forget to check out the hammocks.

 

At this point, I will mention cameras.  Don’t be a jerk and bring a camera to the nude area.  One night in the hot tub there was a Vinny there and he snapped some pictures.  Within seconds, he had several large naked men ready to pummel him.  They took his camera and went thru his pictures one by one to make sure he hadn’t snapped any that were inappropriate.  Late night (and even when the sun is up), it’s mostly an “anything goes” kind of place but cameras/camera phones, etc. are definitely on the side of jerkish behavior.  Just don’t do it.

 

Finally, after a fun, relaxing, satisfying day, we would make our way back to bed…..that’s when the real fun began….

 

The sun comes up on a beautiful Jamaica morning and we look at each other and say “What do you want to do today?”  The cycle repeats itself….after 4, 5, or 6 days of this, you WILL be exhausted, in every way possible.  You will be begging to go back to work to get a rest! But you will also be smiling…..

 

FUNNY THINGS

 

There are several other resorts in the area who offer boat rides to people staying at the resort.  These boats bring theirs guests to the water just in front of the nude beach and they drive by very slowly.

 

The first time this happened, I told Tom and Tony that I felt like a polar bear at the zoo…..lol

 

Well, the boats’ cruising by is somewhat of an event at Hedo.  People on the beach stand up and shake what they got, slap their asses, hold up signs (one said “Don’t let your mother make your vacation reservations next time!”) and generally put on a show for the people on the boat.  It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

 

The second funniest thing was when Tony, Tom and I went snorkeling.  There was a group of people from one of the resorts who were also snorkeling in the general area.  Their “Leader” had a little whistle that he blew for them when it was getting close to the time for them to leave and the people snorkeling had little floaties to help them stay afloat……the scene was probably one that you have all experienced.  An organized, respectful snorkeling expedition for patrons of a resort.

 

We were the only three on our boat.  When we got out to where we were snorkeling, our only directions were “You know what you’re doing, right?”  Followed by “We’ll put the ladder in when you’re ready to get back on.  You can hop off da side, it’s plenty deep.  And don’t swim round da back of da boat, gasoline back dere.”

 

So, we three stand up on the side of the boat wearing nothing but fins and masks when we hear shouting from the other snorkeling group “Those people are buck ass naked!.  We cracked up and jumped in!

 

While the other groups’ leader blew his little whistle to signal that it was time for their group to head back, our boat guys lit up a joint and settled in for a little siesta.  We coulda stayed there all day and they wouldn’t have cared!

 

Sitting in my office a week later, I still find myself laughing about this.  I think our snorkeling trip was WAY more fun than the other groups!

 

THE RESORT

 

I found the resort to be very clean and well maintained.  The rooms are not like those that you would find in a four star hotel but honestly, we weren’t in our room for more than a few hours each day…..and when we WERE in the room….the mirror above the bed certainly added to the “how much we like the room” factor.

 

We had a towel crisis the first few days when the laundry went down and towels were like gold but, for me….I coulda cared less.  They eventually got it up and running and everything was fine.  Towels soon come….who the hell cares??? We were in Jamaica, naked and drinking with cool people…..towels….what towels????

 

The food is okay.  They serve typical stuff like burgers/hotdogs/grilled cheese/jerk chicken at the Grills.  The main dining room has a salad bar that is set up at lunch and dinner.  The menu is usually chicken, fish, and some sort of meat (I finally got it, Tom) with rice/veggies/mashed potatoes, etc.

 

They have some restaurants that are available if you make a reservation.  We ate a Munasan one night but never hit the others. 

 

Oh, and :   THE WATER AND RAW VEGETABLES ARE FINE FOR YOU TO EAT AND DRINK.  This was a burning question for me, as I have been to Mexico and suffered the effects….the water in JA is fine….don’t worry, Mon.

 

I found the employees of the resort to be very helpful and friendly.  Geez, I miss Eton!

 

If you are interested, you can get ganja from almost anyone who works at the resort.  You will be asked “You okay, Mon” or “Everyting okay”…..if you are not interested a simple “I’m all good” will suffice.

 

So, if you are thinking about H2 for a vacation, get over it and just do it.  You won’t regret one minute of it……you will have a lifetime of good stories and you will feel good about yourself for “stepping out of the box”.  Life is short, my friend.  It’s time to play naked.

 

For me, it’s the best experience that I’ve ever had and I’m already planning my next trip.

 

Traci’s Trip Report

(with Tom and Tony)