T & D - March, 2008

     Trip 15 to the wonderful, sunny Island of cinnamon tanned hydes is now but a memory. The time leading up to the trips; too long, the time there; too fast, none the less, both are well worth it.

Day of arrival:

Left home in NJ on the 11th around 4:30 AM fully prepared for the sun and warmth, wearing shorts and flip flops, not giving alot of notice to the fact that the temp. outside here at home was a balmy 19 Degrees F.  Ahhhhh we can hear the waves already. And so, we were off, with a few short pit stops for coffee and a visit car side from the NJ State Police on the way. Finally it is 6:15 AM and we are at the Air Jamaica check in, for me this is where it really begins, once my bags disappear in to that machine I am forced to follow them. Check in was a breeze as usual, but no time for another cup of coffee in the lounge this time, thanks to "Officer, I'm gonna save the world one cigarette butt at a time" back on Route 80. Bang, were thru the x-ray body cavity search machine and they make the first call for boarding. Next thing ya know, were in the front row having a Mimosa and watching our last American sunrise for 10 glorious days.

     7:45 AM and we have lift off. Our flight was perfect, the staff on the plane, was fantastic. Arrival in Jamaica, right on time 10:35 AM, this time was somewhat different than our trip there last June, the airport is undergoing alot of renovations and is really beginning to sprawl a bit. By 11:05 AM we were thru immigration and customs and on our way to Tim Air, in our opinion, truly the best and fastest way to H2, it lands almost directly across the street and from take off to landing is only 15 minutes. As soon as we got out of the Tim Air shuttle we hopped in one of their taxis and within one minute (no exaggeration) we were at the resort.12:05 Walking in the front door back home, Ahhhh. This time, it was without question the fastest check in we have ever had, 3 minutes tops, a huge improvement over years past, At this point I am beginning to think this morning has gone way too smooth.

     12:20  and there we were, standing B A N at Delroy's shaking hands with some new friends and ordering our first drink of the trip, free at last, free at last, god almighty we are free at last!! The first afternoon became a bit blurry in rapid fashion, having not had a whole lot of sleep in recent days and of course the anxiety of having everything taken care of prior to leaving, then throw in about half a gallon of something that Delroy came up with for my wife and I that could have definitely powered a top fuel car, before we could say it's good to be back, we were off to nap land for a bit of a recharge. I think we actually made it to 4:00 PM at the pool, but I am not sure and the clock now no longer matters. Time is only for the day of arrival and departure.  Days in between for us, time is marked by the desire to eat and drink.

     Our trip in general was a very good one, we did notice some improvements in a few areas and in others things have stayed the same, in a few a bit worse. During our last trip down in June of  '07, we had heard a rumor that there was the possibility of a new head Chef coming on board to spice up the main dining room menu a bit. In our opinion, this did not occur, don't get us wrong we have never, nor would we ever go hungry there but we did not notice a marked change in the variety or quality of the food served in the buffet. While always palatable, we had anticipated it to be substantially different. The areas of strength in our view were the deserts, very tasty, lots of variety and always served at the right temperature, nicely done in deed. Breakfast is always done just right and Charlie still makes the most kick ass eggs going, fresh fruit and yogurt always on hand, nice !!

Yes, yes, yes!!! there was LOBSTER, if you knew where to find it, you could have it every day it was grilled to perfection and on one occasion we were able to purchase a 4 pound er for a very reasonable price, cooked in garlic and butter. Also the resort served tails in the main dining room one night during our stay, they were also cooked perfectly. Beach party menu was the best of our stay. Pastafari, while promoted as "Italian" most certainly, is not, however the steak there is wonderful. Munasan, is not quite a real hibachi steak house, but the food is served very nicely and the flavor is very good. 

     Okay, off the food and on to other things, top shelf liquor did not run out nearly as fast this time around, there were plenty of towels virtually all day and thru the evening on the nude side. Very noticeably, there were tons of beach chairs on the nude side this time, almost too many, I found them hard to navigate once half in the bag at night but that's all my fault, my night vision is beginning to fail me, wait , no, it was the alcohol.

Our room was cleaned beautifully every day, with some sort of a fancy towel fold and fresh flower on the bed awaiting our return from the pool. Also, there were for some reason always extra towels and wash cloths in the room as well, this was a pleasant surprise. Our room fridge was re-stocked every day with soda and bottled water this kept the wife very happy.

     Now on to the not so good things, mind you this is our interpretation, but upon asking some of our acquaintances there, our opinion is not a lone one. Piano bar, in desperate need of some spicing up, that place used to be so much fun, now, like an insurance seminar most nights. The entertainment staff truly has some very talented people, but we have seen a steady decline in the enthusiasm of the EC staff over the past few years. The morning list of "activities" does not always play out as the schedule dictates. On more than one occasion there was to be something going on at the nude pool which involved the EC staff and no one came, when they did, it was a trivia game or tell a joke or something like that. EC's interest, in actually "entertaining" seems to come alive more when they are up front in the dining area, closer to managements view, Winston has an amazing voice and he can definitely sing with the best of any we have heard in years past there, Spice is a very nice guy as well, but what we gather is that, it is less threatening to jealous, male guests with female counter parts, to have male employees in the EC staff be, or act as if they are homosexual but is it really necessary to have 30% of your male EC staff act like homosexuals to be entertaining? No, I am not a homophobe at all, but deliberate advances or connotations for effect on the masses at my expense tends to put me on edge. Additionally If the Roots Explosion Band could possibly try to learn a few new numbers to add to their list, that would make a big difference, I swear if I had to hear another rendition of Lionel Richie's "Say you, Say me" just one more time I would have an aneurysm. The band is very talented and is capable of a much more up to date variety of music. One thing that most likely will not change is that Sarge is still still a huge hit with the ladies and probably always will be unless he leaves the gym and heads for the Krispy Kreme stand. The art auction seems to have left, that was good to see. But the Martini bar went with it. Can we have that little part back? We can trade,,,,, Take the fashion show away and give us back the Apple tini's.

    There were far less locals in the resort after dark, this was nice. and the Disco seemed to play less music that we could not understand and more that we could. This was also a welcome surprise and it seemed to make more people want to stay there and dance rather than just get tanked by the bar. Which was also much easier to do this time around, the booze was a flowing good. In trips of the past I could drink for a couple of hours and get a buzz, this time around, woohoo, three drinks and I was looking for water to put back in my brain, that was great, and they never ran out of Absolut.

     During our stay there was a slow and steady influx of spring breakers, hell bent on keeping all of the goodies hidden behind their suits, thats fine on the prude side but the response from security on the nude side was at times very delayed if any. More often then not, the guests basically had to embarrass the school kiddies off the beach to get the point across, which did not seem to be a problem. At one point a crew of 5 or 6 girls showed up and tried to convince the bartender that they were all "broken" at the same time, well this went over like a fart in church and they were sent packing as well. Something should be done at the front desk to drive the point home, NUDE, on the nude side, no exceptions. Put in a drop trau line or something, I don't know,,,,,,, it used to be much more strict.

     This trip was comprised of a very tame crowd compared to our trips during the same times in years past, there were of course your average amounts of PDA's going on during the day in various locales but nothing as excessive as we have seen before. It was more of a closed door crowd and flirty group. Not that it matters one way or the other, but it was such a remarkable difference, for a couple of days, we actually thought that there were some new rules in place that we haven't heard of yet. 

     We did have the time to catch up a bit with some of our friends in management while there and we were encouraged to produce a bit of an in-depth trip report for this site since many in the upper management also read what people think on here. Normally we do not attempt to be as critical as we have been in this summary but maybe it will help. There were many improvements in areas that needed it from what we could see and in others not enough.

     The bottom line for us as a couple, we love Hedo 2, it is the only place that the wife and I vacation at when we travel as a couple as a matter of fact. We always feel comfortable and welcome there, people remember us year after year, we enjoy the area as well as the resort. The weather is great, the views are amazing, the people are wonderful. We have never had a serious problem there in all the times we have traveled to Jamaica.

     The day of departure, painful, and at the same time rewarding. After 10 days there, it is time for a slap of reality, Kids, dogs, and eventually, back to work and so you say goodbye to all the people who swear that they will stay in touch, but you know they won't, the ones who will send those pictures, but they never arrive. If you've been there you know what we mean. Then before you know it your on the plane home and your listening to the rescue procedures from the flight attendant in his/her little yellow vest. After hearing this once again this time I came up with what I thought they should be saying, it goes something like this....

CAUTION: IF YOUR SENSITIVE, ARE A LAWYER, HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR, ARE A NERVOUS FLYER, ARE A JERK, ARE LOOKING TO BUST MY CHOPS, ARE GOING TO BE OFFENDED, OFFEND EASILY, SCARE EASILY, CANT APPRECIATE REALITY OF HARSH SITUATIONS, OR IF YOU JUST CANT FIND HUMOR IN SOMETHING MEANINGLESS AND SILLY. PLEASE DO NOT READ!!!!  And please understand that I am fully aware of the severity of a plane crash, but I can't help but find humor in basic survival training in a situation where globally so very few have survived over water. I have found that it sometimes is easier to deal with stress thru humor than straight on. either way , here it is.

      " Please pay attention to the 4 exit doors, the two in the aft will be in the front about 3/10s of a second after this ting we now call an aircraft becomes a lawn dart, this flight takes us over WATA, in the event of cabin pressure loss and you are lucky enough to not have the air sucked from your lungs by the low pressure at 35,000 feet an oxygen mask will fall from the ceiling, figure out in that moment of terror how to untangle that ball of elastic and IV tubing hooked to 4 year old's silly stilt, if you can complete this task look under your seat for a life vest, it looks like this one. Please understand that these are things to keep you busy for the ride down, there is no way this little yellow ting is gonna save you for at this point if we are indeed over WATA, this ting we now call an aircraft is now called a rock. Remember that the term "Brace position" is a technical term for put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.You can blow da whistle all da way down mon...... Please enjoy your flight."